hated yourself


Guess what really good side story thing from an overrated videogame series I got into
If you haven’t guessed yet it’s Nazi Zombies
It’s consuming my life
!!!!Okay important thing below!!!!
I’m not a Nazi like my god just because just drew one does not mean I support their fucked up garbage and it doesn’t mean I’m a neo Nazi okay
It’s only an interest in history and a video game

•●also credit to the original imagine the squad drawing stuff I guess●•

this is something I struggle with a lot and I don;t think I’m alone in it so:

if you are part of a marginalised group and are trying to be a proud member of that group and love yourself unapologetically that is brilliant and I’m so proud of you

but please please do not feel like you’ve failed if you sometimes find yourself wishing you were “normal” and part of the majority, when you are told every day that you are wrong and inferior and unworthy that has a massive impact and it’s awful that that happens to you but you are not awful for sometimes being too tired to fight it

sometimes it take its toll, sometimes you’re too tired and you hate yourself and who you are and you feel like a failure for that which only drives you further down and this is easier said than done but do not punish yourself for that

you can take time later when your safe and comfortable to analyse why you feel that to work on strategies to more fully love yourself but in that moment you have had an understandable reaction to oppression and you need to forgive yourself, you need to take some time for yourself and you need to take a step back and take a breath

you don’t have to be perfect to fight, you don;t have to be a robot to make change, let yourself be human and stay strong <3

anonymous asked:

I want to die, I hate living and life it self fuck the world I hate everyone

Listen to me, please. Listen very carefully. Depression can make you think terrible things, and say things that aren’t true. I don’t think you want to die. I think you’re saying that to convince yourself that you do. Because this is how it works. This is how it always works. Depression makes you want to hate yourself. So it makes you repeat it over and over again until you’ve convinced yourself it’s true. It’s not. And this is why.

Life is worth living for the little things.

The small moments. The places in between the seconds.

Like the smell of the air at night. The texture of the page on a new book. The look of the burning sunset and the warmth of a hug and the feel of tears on your face.

I guarantee that in your life you have made someone proud. You have made someone thankful. You have made someone happy. People value your existence, and you should value it too. Because even if you can’t see any other reason to live, just stop and feel the lines of the fingerprints on your fingers. Lose yourself in a book. Look outside at the night sky and breathe in its air.

Depression makes you stop feeling, so you have to make yourself feel. You have to anchor yourself to reality through the little things. Through contact with the physical.

I was given this advice a long while ago by someone I knew, and it made me realise that they were the best friend I would ever have. So I’m giving it to you now. This is what kept me alive in the dark hours of the worst days of my life, and it can keep you strong too.

Remember that there are things worth living for, no matter what. Remember the little things. And remember that people care about you. And I will, if nobody else will.

Stay strong. You can get yourself through this.

anonymous asked:

Hey! You probably don't care too much but, I just wanted to let you know that I'm unfollowing because I recently figured out that I'm a trans boy and I don't want to encroach on your space! I really love your blog and I just wanted to let you know that there's no hate!!

🖤🖤 congrats on figuring yourself out a little more!

anonymous asked:

Can you give me some advice ? I messed up really bad last year . I can't forgive myself . I feel like I'm just forever stuck in this terrible place and can't get out of it . I just feel miserable and hate everyone .

smile at yourself gently and forgive . i have no idea where you were / are emotionally but a lot of our “problems” are in our mind and are created by us. if u have to apologize to someone, do it. if u have to tell someone something do it. dont waste your time letting whatever happened consume you. time heals almost everything and if its an issue with yourself then start over tomorrow morning. keep a positive mind mate, it sounds like u have a rainy cloud on top of you and you’re doing everything to make it stay there. rough patches dont last forever , u got this

anonymous asked:

Hii! i'm so obsessed with your fics i re-read them all of the time. i was wondering if you could possibly do a bucky/reader fic were the reader is insecure about how pale her skin is because you can see her veins and he reassures her, maybe ending in smut? please and thank you!! :) :)

“Woah, look at how pale she is…I used to be pale, but I was never that pale.”

“Yeah, you can even see her veins, holy shit! That’s disgusting!” 

The whispers of a large group of college students filled your ears as you sat in the sand, watching the team horse around in the ocean. You bit your lip, hating yourself for coming along. You weren’t going to, but then Bucky had asked you and you gave in. You heard the whispers turn into light moans and even a few catcalls. 

“Don’t listen to them. You’re beautiful.” Bucky sat down next to you.

“No, I’m not.” You avoided eye contact, fixating your gaze on the waves crashing into the shore.

“Hi, uh, would you mind rubbing a little tanning oil on my back? My friends don’t want to get it all over their hands.” It was one of the whispering girls.

“Sorry, maybe someone else can help you, my girlfriend and I are trying to enjoy some quality time together.” Bucky draped his metal arm over your shoulder to make the lie look real. The chick took the hint and walked away, not before giving you an annoyed glance.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You could take care of yourself, well, that’s what you wanted him to think.

“Yeah, but I really didn’t want to rub lotion on her.” He kept his arm around you as he spoke. 

The whispers continued. They focused more on how you didn’t deserve a guy as beautiful as him, how any one of them would be better suited. The words hit home; you had a crush on Bucky and you knew you’d never be with him. Hearing other people say it just made it more of a reality. You pushed his arm off and stormed off, returning to the beach house Tony had purchased for vacations.

You kicked your door open and collapsed on your bed. Every word those women had said about you flashed through your mind and you started crying. You tried to will yourself to get up and give yourself a pep talk in the mirror, like you always did in these situations, but you couldn’t. They were right, you’d never be with Bucky, you’d never be beautiful.

“(Y/N)…?” Bucky peered into your room. “Shit, don’t cry!” He was by your side and pulling you into a hug before you could even tell him to get out. “What’s wrong? Is this about those girls on the beach?”

“Why can’t I just be beautiful?” You whispered into his chest, hiding your face from him.

“You are beautiful.” He started rubbing your back with his hands, trying to calm you down. 

“No I’m not, you’re my friend, you’re supposed to say that.” You pushed him away.

“(Y/N), you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I can’t be in the same room as you because I get distracted looking at you…the way you smile, the way you brush the hair out of your face, the way you snap at Tony when he’s being irrational, the way you bite your lip when you’re talking to me…” You unconsciously bit you lip and Bucky laughed. “I’ve thought about pushing you up against so many walls and pinning you down on so many pieces of furniture and taking that lip between my own more than I’d like to admit.” 

“W-What?” Your face turned the color of Nat’s hair as you looked at him. “W-why would you-”

“Because I like you, doll.” He smiled at you.

“Fuck it.” You launched yourself in his direction and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss. 

Bucky laid you down on your back, moving his lips to your neck as you moaned. He kept his hands on your hips, not wanting to do anything without your permission. He left a handful of hickies down your throat as he kissed your collarbone.

“Fuck me, Bucky.” You moaned as he nibbled on the Bone tenderly. 

“As you wish, Buttercup.” You laughed, you were proud he was able to reference such a classic movie. 

He moved his hands up your body, untying the top of your bikini. You clawed at his chest when he removed it from your body, exposing your already hardened nipples to him. He licked his lips and placed them around your left nipple, circling and pinching your other with his hand. 

“You’re so stunning…” He kissed down your stomach, stopping at the top of your bottoms. He found your gaze before kissing your clit through the fabric. 

“Holy fuck…” You slammed your head into the mattress, bucking your hips against his mouth.

He untied the sides of your bottoms and tossed them across the room. He set your legs over his shoulders, kissing your inner thighs as he moved towards your core. He kissed your clit, massaging it with his lips, grazing the bundle of nerves with his teeth occasionally. 

The only thing you could do was toss and turn as moans escaped your lips. You were a moaning mess that was already nearing her orgasm. Bucky licked your entrance with the tip of his tongue before sliding it in gently and you groaned. 

The sounds his mouth made against your cunt drove the both of you crazy. He hummed against your cunt and you thrusted your hips upwards, feeling the bubble in your abdomen burst. 

“Oh my god!” You thrusted your hands in his hair attempting to ground yourself. 

You came into his mouth, jolting each time his tongue brushed up against your swollen clit as he lapped up your juices. He licked his lips as he crawled up your body, pupils blown with lust.

“You taste so fucking good…” He kissed your jawline before planting one on your lips. “We can stop now, if you want to. I won’t force you to go any further.”

“No, I want you, I want you inside of me.” You pawed at his swim trunks and he chuckled. 

“If I’m hurting you, let me know.” He undressed himself and returned to hovering over you. You nodded.

He lined himself up with your entrance, sliding himself in easily as your wetness coated his cock. He moaned loudly at your tightness, breathing heavily into the crook of your neck. He started out moving his hips gingerly, increasing his speed gradually.

By the time he was pounding into you at an animalistic rate, you were screaming his name as your orgasm washed over you. You slammed your eyes shut as you came around his still thrusting cock. You arched your back off the bed painfully before falling limp. You felt Bucky pull out and cum onto your stomach, dropping his head and moaning your name.

“Damn…” He smirked, enjoying the sight of your blissed out face.

“Bucky…(Y/N)….you guys in here?” The glass door slid closed behind Steve.

You were too tired to panic; Bucky, on the other hand, had enough strength to pull his shorts on and talk to Steve. Steve left shortly, leaving Bucky to clean you up.

Quick Epilogue: You walked hand in hand with Bucky as you walked back to the beach. The girls were still there and Bucky made it evident to show off your hickies, pulling your hair to the side. The girls shot you glares as you passed them and you snapped.

“You know what? Nobody’s perfect, you guys aren’t perfect so why the fuck are you acting like you are? Grow the fuck up and get over yourselves. Your opinions don’t matter to me, I’m a fucking Avenger you bitches, so why don’t you get up off your tan asses and go do something with your lives.”

jugheadhq  asked:

No. I don't want to be friends,You're dead to me. What does a guy like me have to prove to someone like you?Cancelling last minute on a roadtrip and then NOT saying a word, but when it comes to other people, you're quick to fix things, you HAVE to,don't you?Sorry Jughead, right? All you do is fuck me over, just like EVERYONE else.You never cared about the guy who didn't quite add up to your other friends, you lied. it's weird because, i was there FIRST. I hate you. go fuck yourself, we're done.

Jug, I.. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. But, I.. I understand. You deserve a better friend than me.  — I guess I’ll just.. go

You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.

Don’t let people treat you like a cigarette, they only use you when they’re bored and step on you when they’re done. Be like drugs, let them die for you.
comments on classical stuff on youtube are always like

“im in 6th grade and play french horn and its so pretty!!!111!!!1!”

“Beautiful. Simply sublime. What a sophisticated and wonderful sound for someone as cultured as myself”

“this mozart is fuckin LIT dood”

“I played this in solo and ensemble once”

Being Beautiful...
  • Isn’t reserved for skinny people.
  • Isn’t solely accessible to people with designer clothes. 
  • Isn’t only for one ethnicity.
  • Isn’t taken by one body type or one hair color or one skin tone.
  • Isn’t only for celebrities and cover models.
  • Isn’t something you need to try and become.
  • Is something you already are.

Throwback to just a few months ago, in the warm San Diego sun☀️ As I’m trying to find some new swimsuits for this new year, I’m reminded of all the people over the past few years that have told me how I’ve inspired them to wear their first swimsuit or bikini. Honestly that’s one of the best compliments you can give me! If I’ve inspired someone to enjoy life a little more, to not be afraid of a camera, to embrace the feel of the sun shining on their exposed skin, then it’s worth it all.
So here’s to finding some hot new swimsuits and making some waves 🌊💙