hated upon by people who consider this a hate

Lesbians are allowed to hate men! Lesbians are not mean or aggressive for hating men! Lesbians are not bad people for hating men! Lesbians are not responsible for homophobia against gay/bi men or transphobia against trans men simply because they hate men as a whole! Lesbians do not reflect poorly on the LGBT community or on lbpq women for hating men! If straight girls are allowed to wax lyrical about how “all men are dogs”, then lesbians should be able to hate men too! Why is it considered “creative feminist rhetoric” when straight women make poetry out of their hatred for men/how men have traumatized by them, but when lesbians do the same or articulate their complicated and negative feelings toward men, then it’s suddenly “setting the feminist and LGBT movements back”? 

Lesbians can absolutely hate men and it’s perfectly justifiable and understandable! If you disagree, you’re a lesbophobe, no question about it. I as a bi woman fully recognize that lesbians hating men is not a bad thing, given that lesbians have every right to hate their oppressors. Not only that, but I empathize with that hatred. All women, including non-lesbian wlw, should give lesbians their space and should let them articulate and express anger toward men as a whole. Think about it: men demonize lesbians, pursue and harass them, engage in corrective rape to try and “convert” them to heterosexuality, and generally make life very difficult for lesbians. Additionally, many straight women (and even non-lesbian wlw) claim that lesbians are as “predatory” as men or that they have the “male gaze”. As ridiculous as those claims are, they definitely create an environment of hostility and loneliness for lesbians, given that these people are correlating lesbians with their oppressors. Furthermore, lesbians struggle with compulsory heterosexuality. If you tell lesbians that they need to be “nice” to men or that they need to “love” men, you’re only reinforcing rhetoric that forces lesbians to internalize self-hatred and engage in self-destructive behavior. Lesbians are constantly told by society that they will one day find a man and be happy with one, and that only loving women is unnatural and morally wrong; thus, plenty of lesbians cut off interaction with men for the very specific purpose of trying as hard as they can to resist heteronormative socialization and the coerced impulse to seek out men even when they don’t want to. If you really want to advocate for lesbians, then that means empathizing with this particular aspect of their feelings and not degrading them for not wanting to be kind to their oppressors. 

This goes double for trans lesbians and lesbians of color. Trans lesbians are not “socialized as male” - in particular, butch trans lesbians are nothing like men. So if you force trans lesbians, especially butch trans lesbians, to associate with men, you’re contributing to a pattern of trauma that trans lesbians contend with as a result of both transmisogyny and lesbophobia (especially because transmisogynists already claim that butch trans lesbians are just “heterosexual men invading lesbian spaces”). Additionally, lesbians of color don’t just deal with general lesbophobia and misogyny. Many of them are abjectly fetishized by white men (and even nonwhite men who don’t belong to their specific racial groups). Lesbians of color are even told by their religious and ethnic communities that they need a man to survive and that if they don’t marry a man, they’ll ruin their family or community’s reputation. Imagine growing up with the mindset that every single thing you do needs to appease your family and community. Imagine growing up seeing women, including lesbians, forced into marriages with men who make them miserable and at worst abuse and assault them. Telling lesbian women of color that they’re wrong for hating men is undeniably cruel (especially when you consider that corrective rape as a phenomenon is perpetrated disproportionately against lesbians of color who live in post-colonial countries!). 

Lesbians who have been abused or sexually assaulted by men or otherwise traumatized by men are also absolutely part of this conversation. You’re spitting upon their pain by telling them that they’re bad people for hating those who have enacted violence against them. You are throwing back rhetoric that perpetrators undoubtedly flung against them. You’re telling them that they don’t deserve to recover and heal. You’re blatantly victim-blaming and telling them to be nice to their abusers. 

Finally, lesbians hating men as a whole absolutely does not mean that they’re responsible for homophobia/transphobia against LGBT men. Lesbians don’t have privilege against gay/bi men - that would be impossible, since same-gender attracted people don’t have privileged against other same-gender attracted people on the basis of sexuality. And while cis lesbians can be transphobic against trans men, that doesn’t mean that them hating men is what’s responsible for societal transphobia. Heteronormativity, masculinity, the gender binary - these lie at the root of LGBT men’s oppression. And guess what? Lesbians did not create or institute any of those things (for god’s sake, they’re oppressed by those systems too!). 

Consider all of this the next time you want to yell at a lesbian for hating men.

(Note: This doesn’t mean that white women can be racist toward men of color or that cis women can be transphobic toward trans men or anything of the sort, so don’t deliberately misinterpret this post. This post is also not for TERF’s/SWERF’s/transphobes and transmisogynists of any flavor). 

Nerd Princess (chapter 1)

So I have just posted this story’s first chapter on my fanfiction account and well since I also drew this in honor of my love for the gangster and nerd Nalu AU drawn by @ayumichi-me I decided to post it on Tumblr. Ayumichi-me gave me permission to write a fanfic based on their au and this is what I managed to come up with and I hope its to her liking! xD 

Name: Nerd Princess
Summary: Lucy was never one to call attention to herself especially considering she was the school nerd. Unfortunately, for her, she’s noticed by the one person who she least wanted to be paid attention by. Natsu Dragneel, the school’s popular and handsome gangster, who brings it upon himself to tease her. When the nerd and gangster meet, how will things turn out? NALU

Pairings: NALU side of Gajeevy, Jerza and Gruvia
Rating: T


Lucy’s POV

If there’s anything that I hate more than a lot of noise, it’s attention. I hate loud places with too much noise than I would like. I’m not a people person not that I’m even liked by people anyways, but that’s not the point. I take enjoyment from sitting in a quiet corner where I can just read a novel or simply write out my stories. I’m like a shadow, or I’d like to think so at least, always hiding from uncomfortable and troubling situations.

Sometimes I’m lucky and I avoid it, but other times I just barge into trouble and get these people to bother me or call me names. In general, I try to keep a low presence, but the fact that I have blonde hair makes people turn their heads thinking it might be a pretty girl only to find me, a nerd with glasses. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends… well…there’s Levy. I do feel lonely sometimes, and I’d like to make more friends, but it’s hard for me to muster the courage to talk to someone new.

I hope that maybe one day, I can have more friends, but well I think that’s just asking for too much.

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anonymous asked:

hi jin i was just wondering.. do you ever get hate? and when you do how do you deal with them?

I’m certain there are people who dislike me. Some I come to know through whisperings because I have eyes everyyyyywheeeeere

However, I don’t feel the need to acknowledge them or do anything about it unless they are causing any real harm, especially to people I care about.

There is a popular quote that I like referencing for this topic, which gets the message across in a charming way:

You can be a juicy, ripe peach and there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches, so you can either submit to someone’s criticism of you, or you can get on with the business of being your own amazing self who attracts other like-minded people that appreciate you.” — Dita Von Teese

I used to be affected if I found out someone didn’t like me, but I’ve come to learn that people can have very irrational reasons for hating someone.

Sometimes it is simply because your personalities and tastes are not compatible. And that’s fine and normal. 

Other times, they can take a part of you and twist it and build up their own negative perception and convince themselves that they are right to hate you. But it doesn’t mean that what they think about you is true. Their image of you that they force upon themselves could be due to their own insecurities.

Although I sometimes say this jokingly, I find that in certain cases it’s not just simply “Haters gonna hate.”

I also dislike it when people jump to the conclusion, “They just hate you because they’re jealous.” While it can be true at times, it’s not the ultimate answer. Let’s be real here. It is not surprising for people to feel a sense of dislike towards someone who is truly being a terrible human being. Did you do something that merits you being considered a terrible human being? If the answer is no, then good.

Here’s what you can do: If someone openly throws some harsh words at you, take a deep breath and try to objectively consider what they have to say. Maybe you can ask yourself things like:

  • Are they actually trying to offer constructive criticism but are  lacking in tact and eloquence? If they seem interesting or intelligent enough, try to converse with them to understand. Maybe you’ll learn something new. If they are just bigots or trolls, pity them for a second, don’t dignify them with an answer or any more of your time, and move on. Be the better person.
  • Are they pointing out something you may have done wrong that you weren’t aware of? Do you think they are right? If they are, be humble enough to consider that you might have something to improve on. If they’re not, then just don’t mind them. If someone is really set on disliking you, you’re the last person they will allow to change their minds.

These are just general ideas, because it always depends on the context. But in the end, what’s important is that if you truly believe you did nothing wrong, then disregard them and walk away with your head held high. Hopefully you aren’t a sociopath.

You can’t please every single person in the world. And that’s okay. The people whose happiness and opinions should matter the most are your own and those of the people you care about and care for you. If you focus on being your own fantastic self, you can feel sorry for your haters because they lost the opportunity to get to know the wonderful person you are.

anon said: I saw a thing on how it's misandry to excuse Regina and ship SQ and hate Captain Hook and think Captain Swan is rape culture

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