monster au: mistaken identity

[start at the beginning]

  • root’s all excited bc she thinks she’s found another wolf!
  • she is Very Very Wrong
  • root just wants to run and jump and play!
  • so innocent and pure!
  • she gets so excited to track shaw down because wow its hard to find other wolves (who don’t already hate her) in the city
  • so what if shaw smells kinda…off
  • (like death and rotting corpses and fire and ash but look its FINE)
  • new friends can smell like death sometimes!
  • probably!
  • she’s sure its totally fine
  • she killed a small raccoon for her they’re gonna be besties!
  • and shaw’s mangy and unnaturally black and her eyes are glowing and maybe its just a trick of the moonlight?
  • it’ll be fine
  • and then shaw rips a portal open to take someone to hell and root’s like
  • “…oh. i may have miscalculated, harold”
  • “…did the glowing red eyes not give it away?”
  • “it could have been the light”
  • he gives her a Look
  • “she didn’t even eat the raccoon! it went to waste!!”
  • finch tells her to give up. root makes a pointed comment about how he walks along the beach every day
  • still
  • after 500 goddamn years
  • “i’m waiting for the right moment. i like to know things about people before i engage in conversation with them”
  • “what could you have possibly missed out on after 500 years”
  • “497, root. honestly”
  • “…”
  • “…his favorite color”
  • root pats his hand patronizingly. “while you just sit around ignoring /your/ crush, i’m gonna do something about mine”
  • she practically skips off
  • “your /crush/? root, she could literally kill you? with her eyes alone? root!”
  • root’s not bothered. these things have a way of working themselves out

coriller  asked:

Is the meaning of the universe Ronaldo, Jane?

The meaning of the universe is The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal bodeboop. A sing lap should be completed every time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready!… Start.

Jasper has literally beaten Steven before. Lapis stole the entire ocean. Peridot has tried to kill the gems more than once. Lars has always been a dick to Steven. Sadie kept Steven from going back home on the warp pad for days on an island just so she could have time with Lars. Ronaldo had kidnapped Steven before. Ruby almost accidentally boiled Steven alive, and Sapphire almost froze him. Pearl was going to let Steven fall off that cliff-thingy in the Rose’s Scabbard episode. Steven watched as Amethyst emotionally toyed with his father by transforming into Rose. The goddamn mayor almost ran him over with his truck before. Despite this, I don’t believe Steven holds any grudges against them.

but fuCK KEVIN


Beach City Drift Extended Promo

For Us!

“What are you doing?”

“What are WE doing?”

“We’re getting Kevin back! We’re about to beat him at his own game!”

“Yeah, but”

“WHY do we have to play his game?”

“Because he’s -”

“He’s -”


“I know!”

“So WHY should he get to have ANY SAY over how we FEEL?”


“He’s the reason we’re racing!”


“He’s the reason we FUSED!


“We ARE obsessed with him!”

“I want to finish this race!”

“But not for him!”


“For US!”

Last August after moving to LA to be with my wife and taking a job in accounting I got very depressed. I hated this city and the work I was doing. I wasn’t happy

Last December my wife supported me when I decided to change fields and finally follow my dreams with a design firm who paid well and wanted to train me.

A week later, I quit. Worst job I ever had. And in a blink, I went from supporting my entire family to being jobless and worthless

For three months I was jobless and hopeless. Decorated and organized homes on the side. Did small singing gigs, small hosting gigs. Styled shoots and pushed my own thing for a while but Still never made enough. Had to let go out of our beautiful place in Orange County and move into a room in Compton.

My wife never missed a beat. Supported me consistently and made me feel full when I knew for a fact I was empty. I reached out to a design firm that had offered me a job the previous year for an internship.

In March they hired me as an intern to learn and help and study because I hadn’t finished school. In a month in a half, with no degree and all hustle, I was promoted to be the lead designer for their firm.

Yesterday, the largest invoice I ever typed up was paid in full. Enough money to buy a house was paid to me to design it. The way I felt, that my gift was real, my talent was sufficient, was enough for me to fly.

This Friday, my wife, my kid, my dog and I are moving into our new 2 bed apartment with an avocado tree in the backyard. I’ve got an entirely new support system and a group of designer friends who has helped me enough to make it gorg.

I feel like this world isn’t real. Trump can’t even take away how I feel right now. God is real.


Joining the City Guard, part 3

Context: A direct continuation from the last two parts.

My character (human fighter, only uses shields) is trying to join the city guard and has been given three tests but no explanation of what to do. I arrested a training dummy and prepare for the final two trials:


DM: *face in hands trying to surpress laughter* Ok. Now what do you do?

Me: I’m going to jump over that wall.

DM: (ooc) That’s a 10 foot wall. You’re going to need a pretty good running start to that jump. Roll me Acrobatics.

Me: *rolls* (ooc) My rolls are on point today. With my armor penalty, that was a -1.

DM: …So in your attempt to jump over the wall, you forgot to actually jump. You just ran head first into a brick wall. There is now a man-shaped dent in it.

Me: Well that didn’t work. If I can’t go over it, I can probably go through it. *rolls 16 Strength*

DM: The dent deepens. You’re about halfway through

Me: Again! *rolls crit fail*

DM: (ooc) Oh my god. That last attempt has left you embedded in the wall. Roll Strength to get out.

Me: *rolls nat 20*

DM: You manage to pull yourself free and take the rest of the wall with you.

Me: (ooc) Well I’ve done two things now. I walk up to the caged bird, place my shields gently on the ground next to it. I’m going to tame the bird—enemy to criminals, friend to animals.

DM: Roll Handle Animal.

Me: *rolls crit fail*

DM: (ooc) Holy shit how do you keep doing that? You open the cage and stick your gauntleted hand in for the bird to perch on. Only you put your hand in too far and squish the bird up against the back side, killing it.

Me: (ooc) Oh my god I Lenny’d the bird!

*the entire table is in hysterics, DM is at a loss on how to respond*

DM: …What do you do now?

Me: I shed a single tear for the loss of an innocent bird and vow to bring its murderer to justice.

DM: But you—

Me: I would like to submit myself for justice for the murder of an innocent bird.

*table is in tears at this point, DM is having a coughing fit from laughter*

DM: (ooc) *after composing himself* Ok, I think I see a way to get you with the party.

DM: The guards are all… shocked at what they just witnessed. They talk amongst themselves about what to do with you.

DM (as guard captain): Well, uhh… Usually the punishment for murder is death. But the Dawnflower is merciful and has decided to commute your sentence to community service. Your job is to escort a political prisoner to a city far away from here.

(ooc) Roll a Sense Motive.

Me: *rolls crit fail* (ooc) Nailed it.


Two drawings I did for the amazing @hates-great@60-six ;D

The bottom one was a drawing I’ve been wanting to do for a while and the top one was because she wasn’t feeling well and I wanted to draw a chibi Shnee so why not<3

Shark is…her sona? While Shnee (the dog) and Rexerse (the guy in the bottom) are @60-six‘s. Both characters are from City of Blank which you can check on Deviantart or Tapastic (latter one is more updated)

Hunyu (The weird wolf-bear ghost) is mine