I’m back bitches!! I finally got my computer connected again! Dean struggles with everything going on with the BMoL and Mary being bakc, but with the love of his life by his side he knows he’s not alone to carry the burden anymore.
I knew he was struggling. With
everything going on with Mary and the British Men of Letters, he was sadder and
more depressed. I could see he wanted to just let it rip, but he didn’t. He
just did what he usually does, bottles it up. They had come home from a
difficult hunt and I could see the tension in his shoulders.
He was sitting at one of the tables
in the library, a glass of Jack in his hand. I wrapped my arms around his neck
burrowing my face in his shoulder. “Go get a shower baby, and meet me in our
room” I kissed his temple and went back to our room, getting things ready. I
was going to show him how much he is loved.
The candles were lit, the music was
playing and I had found some massage oil to help him relax. I heard the door
open, stepping in looking at the scene in front of him. He shut the door and
just stood there taking in the scene. I walked over and pulled him to the bed,
asking him to lay on his stomach. He only had a pair of flannel pajama pants,
his skin still moist from his shower.
I sat on his butt, and started
massaging his back, working the tension out of his stiff muscles. I could hear
him moan as I felt his muscles release the tension, suddenly, he shifted to
where he was laying on his back. “How did I get so lucky?” I pressed my chest
into his and ran my hands through his hair. “I wonder too how I got so lucky to
have a man as amazing as you”
I started kissing his neck leaving
love bites, I wanted him to feel my love for him. Let him know that I was here,
always and forever. His hands traveled up my back, pushing my t-shirt up and
yanking it off. The only barrier between us were his pajama bottoms, but those
were quickly lost. He rolled me on my back, and was now fitted between my legs
feeling his arousal rub against my hot center.
Before I knew it, he was slowly
pushed in, connecting us together. We spent all night that way. Just being
together, connected and in every way closer than ever. Since everything had
happened with Amara and Chuck, Dean had been pushing me away. We hadn’t been
this close in what felt like forever.
We fell asleep, holding each other
like we both had something to lose. I had woken up and saw I was in bed alone,
did I dream it or did it really happen? I was pulled out of my thoughts when
the door opened. Dean had a tray full of food and two coffee cups in his hands.
He set the tray in front of me and then sat next to me.
“Good morning honey” I smiled and
kissed him sweetly “Good morning baby” The food tasted amazing and it was more
special that he was with me eating as well and spending time with me. We
decided to have a lazy day due to the multiple cases we had dealt with. It was
amazing and what we both needed.
Both of us needed to reconnect and
today was the day to do that. The entire day was lazy kisses and moaned ‘I love
you’ to each other. It was about nine when Sam said he found out where Lucifer
was hiding. I knew he didn’t want to go, but we needed to get him back into the
cage. He kissed me with all the emotion he could muster and then they were
gone. It was three days before I heard what had happened and I was not happy
about it. Cas was beside himself when he told me what had happened.
During those lonely days, it was
either research or being sick. I knew the possibility but how was I supposed to
do this by myself. I prayed to Cas and he had confirmed my suspicions, he also
informed me that I was four weeks along. That night I cried myself to sleep
thinking I was going to be alone in this. It had been another week of anxiety,
I knew it wasn’t good for the baby but I couldn’t control it.
Cas had finally explained what had
happened and explained that him and their mother Mary were looking for them. I
scoffed at that, of all the years that Dean and I had been together, I’ve known
of his desire to have her back. But, when she left them to have space, Dean was
It had been about six weeks now, and
I could barely eat anything without it coming back up. I knew it was stress, I
missed my boys. I put my pajamas on, which consisted of Dean’s concert tee’s
and his sweatpants. I snuggled into the couch and fell asleep watching an old
I felt myself being picked up and
carried, I cracked my eyes open to see Dean carrying me to our room. “Dean?” I
wrapped my arms around his neck sobbing and going to a panic attack. “Hey, it’s
ok, shhhh” He held on to me tightly getting emotional himself. I heard our room
shut, and then being set on the bed. “Dean where were you?” He sat down next to
me and sighed a long sigh.
He explained everything in detail,
trying not to stress me out even more. “Dean I have to tell you something” He
had a panicked look on his face, and I quickly got him out of that thinking.
“I’m pregnant” He watched me for what felt like an eternity, he finally reached
out and caressed my barely there bump.
“Baby I’m so sorry things have been
really stressful and I’ve completely shut you out” “I understand Dean, it
hasn’t been easy but I understand” I could see he was exhausted so I grabbed
his hand dragging him to the bathroom, he needed a bath to just relax and feel
better. I locked the bathroom door and started the water to nearly scalding.
I put in my lavender oil and Epsom
salt to ease the soreness in his muscles. I got in first, opening my legs so
that he could get in and put his back to my front. “This isn’t going to hurt
the baby, is it?” “No, it’s not! Just lay back and let me take care of you” I grabbed
his body wash, massaging his muscles and getting the kinks out.
As the water started getting cold,
Dean had almost fallen asleep. So, I had run my fingers through hair gently
waking him up. We got out and quickly dried off and got into bed snuggling my
back to his front with a hand on the small bump already forming. As I woke up
the next morning Dean was still asleep a hand still on my stomach from last
I could feel my stomach churning
again and bolted for the bathroom barely making it to toilet before my stomach
purged everything again. I sat against the tub trying to catch my breath when
Dean came in and sat down next me just holding as my stomach started to settle.
“I hate morning sickness” He pulled me on his lap and kissed my fore head
knowing he was powerless to stop it. “It’ll be over soon babe, I promise”
Another couple of months passed and
the nausea got bad to the point of going to the ER just to see what was wrong.
The doctor explained that it was a rare condition but I would be ok in the end.
I had to stay a couple nights with an IV to get some fluids in my system, Dean
stayed next to me the entire time, keeping me from going stir crazy. Sam would
call and keep us in the loop about the situation of Kelly and her carrying the
spawn of Satan.
Once I was released, I was given
strict instructions on staying down and stress free. With everything going on,
the library was the main place we had to be in. So, while I got released from
the hospital Sam had bought an overstuffed couch and a few things so that I
could be out there with the guys. We pulled into the bunker garage and I was
beyond exhausted, so Dean carried me in and got me settled on the couch. I
quickly fell asleep, hoping to get some sleep.
I woke up sometime later, seeing
Dean sleeping next to me. His arms surrounded me in love and protection. I
touched his face waking him up gently, “Baby, I’m hungry” “Anything for you
love” This would be a difficult pregnancy but with Dean and Sam by my side I
knew we could do anything. Life couldn’t get any better…