i firmly believe in friendship between a woman and a man. i also thought, up until today, that i was only friends with this guy from my class. and yet here i am, developing feelings towards him. and it genuinely upsets me??? me @ me: how dare you??? i didn’t ask for these feelings??? i was fine™. we were doing fine, being just friends. casual and all.
The North is different without you. Colder. The people are getting more restless by the day, I fear the worst is coming soon.
Littlefinger has something up his sleeve. I don’t know what but I know that it’s not good. He’ll try to sway me with his pretty words but know that I will never break the trust that you have given me.
I saw you before you left for the South. You came out of the crypt, Littlefinger behind you. Did you hurt him Jon? If you did I fear that he’ll try and make your downfall quicker and more painful. Please Jon, don’t do anything irrational, I know your temper can get the best of you sometimes.
I miss you.
Arya is home. I missed her.
She’s different than before, though I guess everyone is. She’s scarred and seen things that I wished and prayed she would have never seen. Her eyes though seem to be void of emotion are swimming in rage and sadness.
Arya’s stronger, I’m very proud. Though I fear for her and dare I say it, a piece of me is afraid of her too. I can’t bare to think of what she’s done to survive, I do know it’s not pretty though. Maybe she and I are more similar than I thought.
Littlefinger is curious about her. If I know him correctly a plan is taking place in his mind. I need to put a stop to it. I need my family here. I need you here.
You betrayed the North. Your family. Me. I don’t know if you understand how much I went though to make sure we get our home back Jon, our home. How much I bled, how much I cried and screamed for it. It was so easy to give though, wasn’t it? Gift something that I bled for easily.
I trusted you. You were the only person I trusted, Jon. The person that I put my hands to, showed my scars and told my unfortunate stories, yet I bet that was never on your mind when you bent the knee and gave her the North, did you? Tell me, is the Dragon Queen so beautiful that you forgot your loyalty to the North and your family.
Do not think that the North will forgive this easily Jon. You may be able to sway them to join you into the battle, but after that the war for the North’s independence will rage. Whose side will you be on?
The North remembers, do not ever forget that.
It’s hard not to watch you watch her, it’s hard not to notice the lingering looks you share. It’s hard not to notice my heart hurting every time you do so. Tell me brother, why are my feelings like this? Am I no better than Cersei Lannister? Am I truly fashioning my life after the woman who caused our family’s demise?
It aches, Jon. It shouldn’t though, shouldn’t it? If my feelings truly are sisterly for you.
Even when I deem to hate you I cannot. Hating you should be so easy after what you’ve done…so why is it so hard?
Aegon Targaryen. Are the Targaryens so crazy that they’ll name two sons from the same family the same name? That’s not your name. Not to me, Arya, Bran, Sam or Tormund, not to those who know you, the real you. Your name is Jon Snow, you belong to House Stark, you have Stark blood running in you.
I told you once that I considered you a Stark and I will always mean that.
Rhaegar Targaryen may have placed his seed into Aunt Lyanna but it was Father that raised you, that taught you to be the person you are today.
The Northern Lords will not be pleased but I will be there for you, so will the rest of your family -the rest of your pack.
You will always be Jon to me.
I thought we would never see Spring. I thought I would never hear the laughter of the children again, or the flowers in bloom. See genuine smiles upon the faces of people.
It’s there now though. It’s because of you that happened. No matter how much you try and say that everyone did it, it was you that led them to defeat the Army of the Undead. Who told everyone, who feared for everyone’s safety in Westeros.
I’m proud of you Jon and I know that Father would have been too.
There are talks of you going South with the Dragon Queen.
Arya and Bran needs you. I need you here, with me in the North trying to rebuild what’s ours. The pack needs to stay together, to survive.
It’s up to you though in the end, my words are nothing, the choice is yours. I know that you have Targaryen blood in your veins but I beg you to not forget us.
If you go South and decide to rule, do not forget the North, your family, me. As we will never forget you.
Jon held the piece of parchment in his hand, he stood up once again pacing her solar for what seemed like the tenth time. He looked down at the bed and saw the other parchments littered with Sansa’s handwriting. It wasn’t his fault that he found them, truly. It was laying on her desk, half-covered with a book, but he still saw his name and curiosity peaked in him.
The door finally opened and he saw the woman that he was looking for. She still hasn’t noticed him and he was torn between berating her for not seeing there was an intruder in the room, and looking at her.
It seemed like the last time they were alone and he could really speak to her was before he went South. After that, she disappeared whenever he was near and his heart clenched whenever he didn’t see her comforting presence.
“Jon.” Sansa turned around and was surprised at Jon standing in the middle of her solar, a small parchment in his hand.
“I received your letter,” he mumbled.
Sansa nodded, “I can see that.” She moved forward towards her window.
“There was never a choice to make.” He needed to put that out there. How could she ever think that he would choose anything over the North, his pack, her?
She gave him a brief glance, “You never know. People change and so do their opinions.”
“The North is a part of me,” Jon walked up to where Sansa was. He stood next to her, and looked out the window. “I would never leave the North unless I have to.” I would never leave you unless I have to. How much he wanted to utter those words but he knew that he couldn’t right now. Sansa looked at him and he knew right then that she somehow heard the unspoken words.
“If there’s one thing I know in this world for certain, is that I would never choose anything over our family. Nothing in this world can do that. Not for a crown, not even legitimizing me. Do you understand that?” He gently turned her so Sansa could look at him. “Sansa.”
She nodded, “I do.”
Jon took a deep breath, it was now or never. “I need you to understand another thing as well.” She tilted her head a fraction imploring him to go on. “There is no woman that could ever compare to you. There is no woman that I would choose over you. There is no other love I would choose than yours.”
He looked at her and surely he saw her walls crumbling down. He finally saw the eyes that he loved, the eyes that held the warmth and love whenever he looked into them. Gone was his Queen of Ice, here now was his Sansa.
“I never thought,” Sansa started. For once she was at lost for words and for once Jon seems that he has the perfect words.
“I know, my love,” he removed the space between, now holding her as close as he can. As the King and Queen of the North looked out onto the now melting snow of Winterfell, they can briefly see four large Direwolves. The largest looked straight on at Jon and Sansa.
She quickly turned to Jon, a familiar tug in her heart. “Jon, it’s them.”
Jon looked at the Direwolves, the alpha nodded once and then howled. The rest followed, “Aye, it is.” He knew who they were and it was no consequence that he and Sansa should see them after they’ve talked. “It seems like Father’s gave us his blessing.”
A surprising and amazing thing has happened. My parents peacefully agreed not to move in with me. 0 aggression. 0 guilting. They decided that as long as I pay back the money they gave me for the down payment they’re gonna let it go. So my friends can move in with me. I’m just waiting for something really really bad to happen. Because my life can not be looking up this much. I’m kinda in shock. I might actually be happy? Like, I’m gonna live in a big beautiful house. With people I really like and enjoy being around? And it’s gonna be super cheap because we’re splitting all the bills between the four of us? That’s too good to be true, something is gonna go very wrong soon.