hate in me

SH fix it

@shadowhunters-official has a lot of loose strings and I’m upset with s2 as a whole to be perfectly honest. What I’d like to see happen:

  1. Simon works on who he is as a person and learns to appreciate the people who love and help him
  2. Raphael is no longer the show’s personal punching bag (no more abuse)
  3. Izzy saves herself from addiction with the help and support of her family and friends
  4. Clary stops sabotaging and controlling everyone around her, she remains single until she can work through her issues
  5. Luke is allowed to properly grieve over Jocelyn and doesn’t have to deal with Cleo and Clary’s nonsense 
  6. Valentine is killed off for good
  7. Jace begins to heal his emotional wounds and Maryese hugs him often, she mothers him a lot. He is allowed to move back into the institute
  8. Maryese learns to accept Magnus in her son’s life and copes from her husband cheating on her, Izzy dotes on her 
  9. Alec learns to use his words instead of his hands when there’s a conflict and he and Magnus talk it out like adults when they have a disagreement, they have consensual sex where he doesn’t push Magnus into the bedroom when Magnus clearly wants to discuss it first
  10. Aldertree is punished for his crimes and Izzy and Raphael are there to witness his shame
  11. Izzy apologizes to Raphael’s clan for her actions in s1 
  12. Lydia steps up as the new Institute leader and is damn good at it 
  13. Meliorn returns and has parts outside of just being used by Isabelle Lightwood
  14. Izzy stops manipulating others into getting what she wants and understands No means no 
  15. Maia has a bigger speaking role and story outside of a romantic plotline (let her geek and boss ass bitch wolf side show, show her interacting with the pack and laughing)
  16. Simon finally apologizes (profusely) to Raphael for betraying him, treating him like garbage, blaming him for everything. He goes home to DuMort (if the clan is okay with it) 
  17. Elaine Lewis’ alcoholism is addressed and her children are there to help her overcome it, they visit more often, she and Raphael have more scenes together
  18. Magnus and Raphael bond over their past traumas 
  19. Lily and the female vampires get speaking roles 
  20. Izzy and Clary make nice with one another 
  21. The creepy surrogate lady goes poof because she was okay with essentially letting Clary get raped
  22. Alec and Magnus adopt the little girl with the gills (when they’re ready for that step as a couple) 
  23. Downworlders are treated with respect and dignity by the shadow world 
  24. Minority characters are given storylines that don’t include being a glorified drug dealer (Raphael) or the person who constantly has to pick up after everyone’s messes (Magnus)
  25. No more white savior complex (aka Clary ‘fixing’ things for Luke/Cleo) 
  26. Clace needs to either be eliminated or greatly repaired (let’s do away with the sibling storyline)
  27. Simon makes peace with being a vampire and is okay with it 
  28. The vampires, shadowhunters and wolves learn to tolerate one another
  29. Magnus gets to throw a lavish party that goes exactly as planned, he is thanked for his efforts
  30. Queer ships are no longer ambiguous and are not used to garner views without going through with it 
  31. Clary apologizes to everyone she has hurt 
  32. Raphael apologizes to Simon over the whole Kill them thing 
  33. Simon and Magnus screen time (pals)
  34. Allow Izzy to go to the Iron Sisters and fulfill her childhood dream 
  35. More religious!Simon and religious!Raphael as their religions are a huge part of who they are 
  36. The clave needs to be broken down and rebuilt (by Lydia) 
  37. No more of Raphael physically pushing Simon around 
  38. Elaine Lewis finally gets that family dinner with Clary, Raphael and Simon (she makes pot roast)
  39. Elaine learns of Jocelyn’s death and grieves 
  40. Simon comes out as both pansexual and a vamp and his family accepts him (after the shock of the revelations) 
  41. More scenes involving Magnus being a bad ass old as the hills warlock
  42. Camille’s abuse of Simon, Magnus and Raphael is addressed and understood that it’s not okay 
  43. Magnus and Alec are given some well earned fluffy boyfriend storylines without drama 
  44. Maia and Luke scenes 
  45. Raphael’s sexuality is mentioned and treated with respect 
  46. Raphael and Simon speak in their native language more 
  47. Add on? 
Starco IS NOT Dead

After today’s episode, I’ve been noticing a lot of people saying “Starco is dead.” Or “Jarko is going to be endgame.” Trust me, Starco is far from being dead. We still have a whole other season to go. (Maybe even a 4th) If you haven’t noticed, Daron likes fooling us. Starco is still going strong. It may seem dead, but it’s not. Just wait until Marco finds out about Star’s crush on him. Besides, us Starco shippers aren’t going down without a fight. :)

Originally posted by lpstreetsoldier13

cosmic-files-87  asked:

2/11/15 MSR for the angsty list....I know....I am an ass.... (but really!!!!! Please write that!!!!)

2 - I don’t need you. I don’t need any of you.

11 - You can’t keep hurting me and then demand I apologize instead.

15 - You betrayed me.

Author’s Notes: Okay, this one hurts. Like a kick to the groin kind of hurt. I almost feel bad. It is high angst & will probably piss some of you off. If you proceed – you were warned. Post IWTB.

Two Weeks, Too Cold

It’s been two full weeks since she’s seen him.

She can’t remember the last time she went more than a day without hearing his voice – What’s up, Doc? – watching him as he watched her, or felt his broad chest against her back as he spooned her to sleep.

I won’t be coming home, she had said. Don’t do this, he had begged.

Scully keeps telling herself that she made a mistake by letting him kiss her as she stood in their front yard with tears rolling down her face, by entertaining the notion that they could ever hide from the darkness. It was cruel, she thinks, because even then she knew that she wouldn’t be coming back home.

Which isn’t exactly true, because she did come home, briefly, to gather a bag or two of her belongings. Her chest aches at the memory – of the desperate tears and of his voice breaking on each  I’m sorry and please don’t leave me.

That was two weeks ago. Two weeks that have been filled with work, because if she can’t help the man she loves then at least she can help a child breathe. Two weeks filled with too much coffee, because her fingers feel ice cold without his own interlaced with them. Too little sleep, because her skin trembles and aches without his hands there to gentle away the nightmares.

Two weeks, she has decided, is long enough.

I just want to see him, she tells herself as she guides her car onto the long gravel drive that leads to their shared home. The house is modest, but cozy. Most of all, it’s theirs. The few tangible things they’ve shared in the past have been wrenched away from them – but not their home. No blood to scrub out of the carpet, no taped X in the window to summon life-threatening information. It’s just home, and it’s theirs.

She steps out of her car into the crisp air of early morning to pull open the gate, and she smiles to herself. The ritual of it is comforting. Countless mornings and evenings have began and ended with opening this gate, letting herself back into the beautiful, private world she shares with Mulder.

Pulling into her spot in front of the house, she sees a strange car. She frowns curiously. Did he go out and buy a car after I left? She wouldn’t put it past him, except that it would require his actually leaving the house (and nothing short of a psychic priest has convinced him to do so thus far).

On her walk to the front door, her heart begins to hammer against her ribs at the thought of seeing him again.  It’s only been two weeks, she chides herself. Still, she expects that he may be angry. When he’s hurt, he tends to deflect – in his case, that means petulant withdrawal and an abundance of sarcasm.

She draws in a deep breath and unlocks the door. He may still be asleep, she realizes as she steps into quiet darkness. It’s just after five o’clock in the morning. Just because she hasn’t been able to rest doesn’t mean he can’t.

But oh, she’s finally home. She closes her eyes, relishing the smell of Mulder’s aftershave mingled with the scent of the roses he had delivered to her office just a week before those goddamned agents showed up at the hospital. She remembers bringing them home, carefully tucking them into a vase of water. They’re beautiful, she had told him. Not as beautiful as you, he had replied, his hand tucked against the small of her back.

“Who are you?”

Scully starts at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, opening her eyes to see a woman standing at the threshold where kitchen becomes living room.

A woman.

Tall. Brunette. Holding a glass of water. Wearing only a t-shirt and a confused expression.

“This is my house,” Scully says, the words scraping past a throat that has gone as dry as desert sand. “Who are you?”

The woman stares back, tugging at the hem of her t-shirt uncomfortably.

No, not her t-shirt. Mulder’s t-shirt. Scully’s favorite shirt that Mulder owns, because it’s soft and worn and somehow still smells like the cologne he wore the first time she slept in his arms, even after all these years.

I’m going to be sick, this is not happening, oh Mulder what is going on…

The woman finally speaks, clearing her throat. “He – he said he lived alone.”

I’ve wandered into the wrong house, Scully thinks numbly. That’s the only explanation that makes sense.

But no. That’s Mulder’s shirt, and that’s the drinking glass my mother gave to me when we moved here. That’s the couch where Mulder and I made love less than a month ago.

“Scully.”

This can’t be the wrong house, because that’s Mulder. He’s standing in front of her, and he’s not wearing my favorite shirt, he’s not wearing a shirt at all, and he looks terrified, and oh God I’m going to be sick…

“Mulder?” Her voice sounds tiny. Her hands are still freezing, but now her palms are sweating as her stomach churns. Please explain this, Mulder, she begs silently. Please please please please.

“Who is she?” When the other woman speaks again, Scully wants to scream at her. She has no right to ask that. Scully is the one who should be demanding an explanation. She’s the one who deserves an answer. Not this stranger, with her morning-after hair and her long smooth legs brushing the hem of Mulder’s shirt.

I’m going to be sick.

“Mulder?” This time, her voice is louder, sharper, less please tell me this isn’t what it looks like and more how fucking could you.

He doesn’t acknowledge the other woman’s inquiry, instead stepping toward Scully with his hand outstretched. “Scully,” he begins, and her name on his lips tells her all she needs to know. She’s heard him speak her names countless times – calling to her for help, playfully teasing her, comforting her in times of distress, moaning in ecstasy as she coaxes him to climax, even shouting in anger during a particularly intense argument.

Never – never – has he said her name with this desperate, helpless tone threaded through it.

The woman has disappeared, and Scully can hear her in the bedroom – our bedroom  – gathering her things, probably eager to get away from this house – our house – and whatever is about to happen between them.

Mulder moves forward, and she sees panic etched into the lines of his face.

She squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head as the full realization of what’s happening settles over her. “No,” she chokes, swallowing against a throatful of stomach acid. “No, no, no.”

“I’m sorry, Scully, please let me explain.”

Her eyes fly open, and she wraps her arms around herself. “Explain?” Her voice catches on a sob. “What is there to explain?” She stares at his face, his beautiful face, and it’s more than she can take, his eyes full of regret. She backs away, grappling for the doorknob.

“Scully, don’t leave. Please.”

Two weeks, Mulder!” Her stomach aches, her head pounds, and I need to get out of here, this is not happening. “I was gone two fucking weeks!”

She is hot and cold at the same time, her clammy palms sliding against the doorknob as her fingers shake uncontrollably. She feels the heat of his body behind her, and oh God, she wants to lean into him, just to warm her hands, but nonononono, she has to leave, she cannot stay another minute in this house.

When he places a hand against her shoulder, her entire body recoils. “Get the hell away from me,” she gasps, her breaths coming in shorter spurts now, her lungs burning.

The doorknob finally relents, and she shoves against the door, stumbling outside where it’s still so cold, it’s not home, and she can’t breathe, and fuck you Mulder how dare you how fucking dare you.

He follows her across the yard. “Scully, please.”

She doesn’t break stride or respond. She’s almost to her car when she feels his hand catch the arm of her coat. She jerks free, but his grasp is lighter than she expected, and the heel of her boot slides against a leftover patch of ice. 

Under any other circumstance, she would have caught herself. The reflexes instilled in her all those years ago in FBI field training never failed her before, but she can’t even catch her breath so how is supposed to support her full weight?

Maybe she doesn’t even want to.

Her knee meets the ground with a sharp crunch, and she hisses in pain.

Immediately, Mulder is at her side. “Oh God,” he says, and reaches for her again. She slaps his hand away, and finally the tears she’s been fighting break through, streaming hot against her chilled face.

“In our bed, Mulder,” she says bitterly, leaning back against the tire of her car. “I was gone two weeks, and you fucked someone in my bed.” She tries to suck in a lungful of air, but is met with resistance when the breath halts on a sob. So this is what suffocation feels like.

“I was drunk,” he whispers miserably.

“When are you not?”

He flinches, but continues. “I don’t know what happened. Scully, I don’t even know her.”

“Where did you meet her, Mulder?” She glares through her tears. “All this time, while I’ve been working, have you just been out meeting women to bring back to our home? Our bed?”

“Of course not,” he breathes, staring at her in horror. “Never. You know me better than that.”

“I thought I did,” she whispers brokenly. “I never believed you would do this. Not in a million years, Mulder.”

“Neither did I.“ His voice is pitiful and sincere.

She swallows thickly. “You betrayed me.”

He sinks all the way down beside her. “I know,” he says quietly. “I know, and I’m so sorry.” There is a heavy silence between them for a moment before he adds, “Scully, you left me.”

Scully shifts to face him, and grits her teeth against the pain that the motion sends shooting through her knee. “You’re unbelievable,” she spits venomously. “You screw another woman in my bed, on the sheets you bought for me on my last birthday, and you’re making this my fault?” She fumbles with the top of the tire, trying to pull herself to her feet.

“Scully, stop,” Mulder pleads. “You’re hurt – your leg.”

“You’re damn right I’m hurt,” she snaps. “And it has nothing to do with my leg.”

She gives up on standing for the moment. “You never answered my question,” she tells him, her eyes burning hot into his.

“What question?”

“Where did you meet her? I’ve never known you to socialize, but clearly, there are a few parts of your character I somehow missed in all our years together.”

He stares at his hands for a moment before meeting her gaze. “I went on a walk and ended up at a bar. It’s a couple miles down the road. I had more than I planned, and she – she offered to drive me home.”

Scully folds her arms tightly around her midsection. The tire is wreaking havoc on her back, but she barely notices.

“Classy, Mulder.” She closes her eyes again, but the tears fall anyway.

He sighs. “You left, Scully. You just left, and you wouldn’t return my calls. I didn’t know if you were ever coming back.”

Scully tenses as another wave of nausea washes over her. “I left because you wouldn’t leave the house unless it was to spiral back into your fucking paranoid obsessions!” 

She covers her face with both hands. “You can’t keep doing this,” she sobs. “You can’t keep hurting me, and then demand that I apologize instead.”

“When have I done that?” His voice is laced with disbelief. “When have I ever done that, Scully?”

Fuck you Mulder fuck you fuck you fuck you –

“Fuck you,” she cries, gripping the edge of the tire again and heaving herself to her feet. “I don’t need you.” 

She ignores the throbbing in her knee when she puts weight on it. “I don’t need anyone,” she says, her voice breaking. “I think we both know I’ve survived greater losses.” She wrestles with her purse, digging for her keys. “But it’s fine. I don’t need any of you.”

Mulder touches her shoulder, and she shrugs him away again. “Don’t touch me.” She yanks her car door open. “I told you to get away from me.”

“Scully, I’m sorry,” he says weakly. “You may not need me, but I need you. I always have.”

“You didn’t need me last night,” she tosses back viciously as she forces key into ignition. “I can’t take care of you anymore, Mulder. Figure it out.”

He positions his body so that she is blocked from closing the door. “Scully,” he tries again, his voice echoing with despair. “I’m begging you. Please. You came back for a reason. Please don’t leave again.”

Her chin trembles as she answers him in a voice as brittle as dry ice. “I left for a reason, too.”

She grasps the door handle in her hand despite the remaining tremors. “Move.”

He slowly backs away, and at last she sees tears shining in his eyes. It’s too late, it’s too much this time, I can’t.

The sound of her slamming door causes him to jump. The pressure she places on her gas pedal makes her moan with pain as her knee protests the movement.

When she glances in her rearview mirror, she sees a tear-blurred image of her entire world, standing with his arms hanging helplessly at his sides.

He’s still not wearing a shirt, she realizes.

Go back inside, Mulder. It’s too cold out here.

I would know.

END.

Before you ask, yes, there will almost certainly be a follow-up.

*points out flaw that a character has/mistake character has made* Someone: but I thought they were your favorite? Me:

Originally posted by samisoffthewall

veganmorigirl replied to your post “Hi there, I have a question for you! I was discussing this with my…”

I love that you used Shakespeare as another example here. One of my professors, a Shakespearean, said he wouldn’t talk about Jane Austen because she was such an “overblown romantic novelist”, and because she didn’t write about the things happening outside her own immediate surroundings (which is, as far as I’ve understood it, done on purpose) she was basically just a “silly female author”. (He didn’t use those words, but it seemed pretty clear that that was what he meant.)

Your professor is a hack who appears to have no sense of irony or true understanding of either Austen or Shakespeare if he thinks no comparisons may be drawn or are worth exploring between two of the greatest writers in English literature. Shakespeare’s entire body of work is deeply infused with references drawn from his own life experience, particular even to the countryside of Warwickshire in which he grew up, even where it might be anachronistic or weird on a technical level to pair that kind of imagery or language with settings like ANCIENT ROME or a FAIRY KINGDOM. (One could argue on a basic level that Shakespeare is therefore more ‘fanciful’ whereas Austen’s work is deeply-rooted realism, for fuck’s sake.) Shakespeare and Austen both gloried in their own kinds of silliness, for silliness is a part of life, as much as seriousness.

Tell him he can come to my house and try saying his bullshit to my fucking face.

anon: why is there a huge piece of tape on your laptop?

me, accidentally using the wrong word one (1) time: i’m forgetful and need that phrase for my cmd prompt when my disk space is too high.

friend: is that why my computer sucks?

me: probably, but also probably not, it doesn’t happen to everyone, and high disk usage can happen from any number of causes, i just found out that windows search is why mine sucks.

approximately five thousand people, ignoring that i said it’s not always the search: UH, MINE DOESN’T SUCK LIKE YOURS DOES SO MAYBE YOU JUST SUCK AT COMPUTERS? MY CORTANA IS FINE ACTUALLY?? WHY DIDN’T YOU INCLUDE A PROPER TUTORIAL??? YOU MEAN DISK USAGE NOT DISK SPACE YOU MORON!!! WHY DON’T YOU JUST DISABLE CORTANA?? IT’S SO EASY??? WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?? OP IS A DUMBASS LOLOL

anonymous asked:

I'm a beginner artist and I'm getting really depressed because I can't draw beautiful things like you.. Can you give me some words for cheer me up, please? And I wanted to ask how should I do neat lines like you? But I can't draw neat lines, the sketch is fine but when it comes to transform it in the drawing it sucks, help me Ally Sensei ;-; Btw I love your art and your blog, it inspires me a lot and when I look at your art I can't just help but want to draw like you one day, saranghae ❤❤💞

one thing i’ve learnt is to not force myself into an art style that just /isn’t/ me! you hate lineart and love your sketches more? WORK with your sketch instead and make IT into the lineart!

it might take you awhile to find solutions to make what you’re comfortable with into a coherent and appeasing product, but know that even if it looks bad/awkward, it’ll be something you’re gonna look back at and say “damn, i’m so glad i kept at it and got to where i am today”