hate homestuck

The Signs as Things That Don't Exist
  • Aries: death
  • Taurus: self-confidence
  • Gemini: the gender binary
  • Cancer: your 13 year old self
  • Leo: fursona? what fursona
  • Virgo: sparkly vampires
  • Libra: chinese dragons
  • Scorpio: civil discourse
  • Sagittarius: robot horses (yet)
  • Capricorn: happy endings
  • Aquarius: nice fuckboys
  • Pisces: dictatorships that don't kind of suck
A Eulogy for all the Homestuck ships that didn't make it.
  • JohnKat: Sunk by a meme. Tragic.
  • DadMom: Sunk by a violent stabbing, also Tragic.
  • JadeJohn and DaveRose: Goddamn, Hussie pulled a George Lucas on us there. "You like that ship? Well they're related now, whoopsie!"
  • JohnDave: Well, you'll always have A03 at least.
  • JadeRose: The forgotten Beta ship. You were cute.
  • DaveTavros: You were a thing apparently? Well the fanart was cute.
  • Gamrezi: You'll always have the Shelby Cragg AU's at least.
  • TaVris: Hmmm....
  • GamTav: I have so many sad and complicated feelings towards you. It's hard and nobody understands.
  • GamKar: There was so much unexplored potential and too much offscreen development.
  • JohnRose: Never liked you, but you deserved better than a bunch of people throwing a fit over a t-shirt.
  • Erisol: I'll miss the <3<, and your Sprite.
  • Equara: God remember that anon that really really really hated this ship? Remember the harassment and gore submissions? That shit was wild... and creepy. Don't do this over fictional relationships kids.
  • JasproseJane: Never saw that one coming did we?
  • JohnVris: I will Remem8er You!
  • AraSol: Confirmed? Sunk? Aw well, you had a good run.
  • SolFef: Goddamnit Eridan.
  • EriSolFef: "We coulda had it aaaaaaall"
  • Rufioh/Damara: A foot note in the backstory that could have been explored more.
  • Daverezi: Sunk offscreen no less! A true shame.
  • Karezi: Retconned out of existence and the two don't even talk anymore. Ouch.
  • EquiKar: Fuck all of you this was cute.
  • VrisKan: Sigh. Rest in Peace Vriskan, may the shippers sing you to your grave.
  • Les8fins: Damnit Aranea!
  • Les8fins 2.0: Dammnit Meenah!
  • Meulin/Kurloz: Wow, that was an odd couple wasn't it?
  • Grimluck: I want to believe.
Short callout posts for the trolls

Aradia Megido 

Wasn’t in the comic enough. 

Tavros Nitram 

Never actually used his massive horns as a weapon. Like dude, they’re right there.

Sollux Captor

He’s the type of person that you think is doing something important on his computer but he’s looking at furries on troll DeviantArt.

Karkat Vantas 

Treats shitty romcoms as source material for romantic psychology and actually admits to it.

Nepeta Leijon

I don’t have the heart to drag Nepeta, she’s just too good. I’m sorry.

Kanaya Maryam

She takes lipstick lesbian to a whole new level seeing as she literally cuts people in half with her fucking lipstick.

Terezi Pyrope

Didn’t kiss any girls when she if fully capable of kissing every girl in paradox space.

Vriska Serket

The title of this post is “Short callout posts for the trolls” and I don’t think her resume for callouts can be fit into something short.

Equius Zahhak

Apparently dresses in a skimpy maid outfit in public. Keep that shit in the bedroom dude.

Gamzee Makara

Fuck that guy. Do I even have to tell you why? You know why. He’s a piece of shit. Fuck that guy. 

Eridan Ampora 

He’s the most likely Homestuck character to be the “You know I had to do ‘em” guy, let’s be honest. 

Feferi Peixes

So much fucking discourse over how to pronounce her last name. Pie-shees? Piech-ehs? Pixies? Pieces? Fuck dude, we just don’t know.