Humans are weird! - entertainment

Okay… so imagine when aliens come to earth for social and historical research and finding this thing called “science fiction”. Imagine their reactions to what humans thought aliens might be and look like. From the sweet and funny to the fearsome and hyper intelligent … and then imagine them finding ANIME… and tentacle hentai

○ Humanologist G'wqa, what do you mean we should cancel ambassador kvYy-chs’ Earth visitation?! ● Commander Fhiltr may I request you please open the video file I just sent to your Private communicator? ○ Why the priva… ● PLEASE commander! ○ sighs *beeps and clicking sounds followed by unsettling human… noises* BY THE GASCLOUDS OF GRALLP WHAT IS THIS!?! ● Now commander PLEASE cancel the visitation! I don’t think the humans will react well to the ambassador’s appearance…

anonymous asked:

I would love to see a MaceObi story where Obi Wan has wings (I love all of your wing fics!). You've throughly converted me to the MaceObi pairing!

‘I’m not preening myself for him.’ Obi-Wan firmly tried to convince himself even as he carefully removed molting blue of all shades from his wings, putting them in the steadily growing pile of removed feather on the coffee table that he was going to give to the creche master as usual.

So fine, Mace Windu would make one hell of a mate.

Mace was strong, cunning and warm.

Very warm.

Obi-Wan could still remember the time he had let the other care for his wings, dark fingers running through the blue feathers and removing those that needed it while they waited for the shuttle to be repaired.

He hesitated then sighed a bit.

Alright, he was perhaps preening just a bit for Mace, wanting to look his best for the other and wasn’t that just a punch to the gut.

Mace couldn’t possibly be interested in him.

For one Mace was a consummate Jedi, adhering to the code strongly. A master and council member. For the second…why would he look at Obi-Wan at all?

Being handsome was no sure thing for catching someones attention.

And Obi-Wan had WINGS and instincts and…

He sighed.


Yanking out a feather in shock, Obi-Wan hissed before looking up at Qui-Gon who raised his eyebrow in return, leaning on his cane.

“Master.” The Knight offered before sighing at the look he got. “I mean, Qui-Gon.”

“Better. Now are you alright? That looked like it hurt and you looked a million light years away.” The other sat down carefully, his cane in hand. Honestly, Qui-Gon should be grateful that was all he needed to walk after what the Sith did to him on Nabo.

And Obi-Wan was grateful everyday that he hadn’t lost the other man just yet.

“Just…just a comment Anakin made before we talked to the Council.” Obi-Wan sighed. “And not to badly.”

“Oh?” Qui-Gon looked curious and a bit mischievous, wondering what in the world the blond could have said to have Obi-Wan in a twist. “Talking about Anakin, where is he?”

“He asked if he could go see Tru, I let him. Friends in the temple is good to have.” Obi-Wan carefully sidestepped the reason for his distraction.

“True enough. Now what did that boy say to distract you so?” Qui-Gon raised his brows.

‘I can’t get anything by him.’ He sighed. “…That I always seem to be preening myself when I see or meet Master Windu.”

“Oh…you hadn’t noticed?” Qui-Gon blinked.

“…Oh no not you too.” Obi-Wan sighed. “I’m n-”

“You’ve done it for ages Obi-Wan. I know when you’re exhibiting mating behaviors.” The older man chuckled in sympathy.

“What?” The winged Jedi froze, eyes wide.

Plowing on, Qui-Gon settled his cane against the couch and patted the other on the shoulder. “When you’re around him, your voice changes, it gets…lighter almost. You display your wings a bit more, showing them to him and ruffles your feathers and you always preen them or your hair as Anakin indicated when you know you’re going to meet Mace.” He rubbed the shoulder as Obi-Wan gave a low moan of horror. “And if you know he’s watching you spar, you tend to get more…flamboyant in your sparring style.”

Qui-Gon wasn’t going to mention the time Obi-Wan made a nest out of the pillows on the couch subconsciously.

He really didn’t think that would go over well with him.

“And if you’ve invited him to tea you also tend to have his favorite biscuits ready.”

“…Preening, voice changes as if I’m trying to sing, display behavior and feeding behavior.” Obi-Wan summed up then dropped his face in his hands. “Oh Force. D-Does he know?”

“I don’t know Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon confessed to the young knight.

“Oh Force.” Obi-Wan pulled his feet up on the couch and hid in his legs, arms wrapped around them. “I can never look him in the eyes.”

“You know that the Order is understanding of your needs Obi-Wan. A mate inside the order would be looked fav-”

“Not Mace Windu! What in all Force name could he see in me? I’m…I’m weird and different an-” Warm arms wrapped tightly around him.

“Stop that Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon pulled the man into his lap and scratched the wing connections, knowing it was easier to do that to get the other to relax. As expected, Obi-Wan melted into his arms. “You know that you aren’t suppose to say such things about yourself.” He offered in a quieter tone. “You are well respected in the Order, the first Sith slayer, a top notch negotiator and a skilled lightsaber wielder.”

Sometimes Qui-Gon disliked himself severely, because it was obvious that Obi-Wan’s self loathing and doubt had come from his apprenticeship under Qui-Gon. Perhaps it was good that physically he wasn’t able to train Anakin and Obi-Wan had taken him on instead, at least he couldn’t fuck over Anakin’s self confidence.

“Obi-Wan. You are a knight of the order and he’s lucky to have your attention.” Qui-Gon rumbled as the younger man dropped his head against Qui-Gon’s collarbone.

“That…it still doesn’t have to mean he likes me in return.” The knight muttered, wings rustling a bit.

“No, but you could ask him on a date to find out. You know he can’t ask you even if he wanted, he’s a council member and you are a knight, its a power issue.” Qui-Gon rubbed along Obi-Wan’s back.

“…What if he says no?”

“Then he says no and you could turn your attention elsewhere. Your species requires you to gain a mate. You’re starting to get towards the point in your life that you need a mate Obi-Wan or your health will decline from not having that bond.” Qui-Gon scratched gently at the wing connect. “You got your parental bond and you got a hatcling bond. Me and Anakin. But you need that mating bond too.”

“…I know…I just…” Obi-Wan sighed. “…Just ask him?”

“Well, I’d wait until you had him alone but yes. Just ask him.” Qui-Gon chuckled quietly. ‘And if he says yes, I can give him the shovel talk.’

Obi-Wan gave a low noise then sat up a bit, starting to run his fingers through Qui-Gon’s hair. Peacefully, the older man submitted himself to it while scratching lightly still. He’d gotten used to Obi-Wan’s preening behavior long ago.


“Master Mace!” Obi-Wan tried not to rush to catch up to the other man, almost exhaling in relief when the Master of the order stopped to let him indeed catch up.

“Knight Obi-Wan.” The Korun nodded, smiling faintly as he did. “Walk with me? I’m afraid my schedule is rather full today. But I have a few moments to talk on the move.”

“Oh, yes, of course.” Obi-Wan fell into step beside the other man. ‘Oh Force, I feel so nervous. Please tell me my feathers aren’t puffed up. Please…’

“So, was there something you needed?” Mace questioned as they walked.

“I was actually wondering if you may have time sometime this week f-for dinner. With me. And just me.” Obi-Wan stared forward, to nervous to actually look the other in the face.


Oh Obi-Wan’s stomach sunk like a rock at the surprise in Mace voice and he felt faintly nauseous. A ruffle behind him told him he was puffing up and he inwardly cursed as he felt humiliation settle around his shoulders like a heavy cloak. “Y-Yes. With me. I-”

“Are you asking me on a date Knight Obi-Wan?”

Mace had stopped moving and Obi-Wan was frozen beside him, desperately trying to get his mouth to work again, to tell him it was just a casual thing but nothing wanted to leave his mouth. Oh Force, do something, say SOMETHING Obi-W-

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder. “Obi-Wan?” A soft steady voice.

It was the only thing that made Obi-Wan look at Mace, to see the soft, open look on the others face. “Are you asking me on a date Obi-Wan?” He offered quietly.

“…Y-Yes. Yes. I am…w-would you be interested?” He whispered shakily.

“I would. Perhaps we could speak about it tomorrow?” Mace squeezed his shoulder with care.

“O-Over tea?”

“Over tea.” Mace agreed.

And then he smiled warmly at the younger man.

Obi-Wan’s feathers puffed up with a loud sound.

And he found he didn’t care.

anonymous asked:

How to train your dragon AU where all the Jedi have dragons and padawan obi although late to find dragon ends up getting a super cool rare one jealousy ensues but obi wan still cant find a master (sry if the promt is not great BUT basically an AU where every Jedi gets a dragon)

He’s not angry.

Not really.

Anger doesn’t help him. He is worried though as he gently strokes the smooth shell of the egg with his hands, a small frown on his face.

Obi-Wan was so sure that his dragon would come any day. He was close to thirteen and had no master but surely he’d have his dragon right?


His black dragon egg was still smooth and hard to the touch, faintly warm to the touch. Even Bruck’s egg had hatched and now only Obi-Wan was alone of his creche mates with a unhatched egg. Bant had early gotten a blue sea dragon from her egg. Garen had a deep black space dragon that could actually fly through space of all things and Reft had one with fur that shone silvery in the light.

Yet Obi-Wan was all alone with his egg. He knew several knights and even older masters were looking at it oddly and he wondered if his unhatched egg was one of the reasons no masters had dared to pick him.

He doesn’t think he’s done something wrong.

He’s done what everyone else does. He’s kept the egg warm, feed it bits and pieces of his Force energy, kept the egg clean and the last few months he’s been keeping it close to him everyday. But yet his egg hasn’t hatched and its a steady case for Bruck to keep taunting him.

Little Oafy-Wan and his empty egg.

“…I know you’re in there.” Obi-Wan whispered, his black egg held in his lap, stroking it slowly with his fingertips. “I know you’re alive.” He hugged the egg to his chest and put his cheek on the top of it.

There was no response and Obi-Wan swallowed heavily and held more tightly onto it, slowly feeding bits and pieces of his own Force energy into the egg, humming softly under his breath as he let his emotions take charge and flavor the way he feed into the egg.

His longing, his love, his genuine awe and his adoration for the being inside the egg.

There was a cracking sound and Obi-Wan’s eyes snapped open in surprise, lifting his head up to look at the slowly appearing cracks covering the black shell and the small Initiate held his breath as parts of the shell started to fall apart and a small golden snout peeked out.

Out of the black shell a golden dragon came, about the size of a large house cat as it stared up at Obi-Wan with the deepest shade of green eyes Obi-Wan had ever seen. It had a stripe of almost white fur along its back that ended in a puffy flickering tail and strong looking talons. And when it spread its wings Obi-Wan could see a already larger then average wingspan.

Obi-Wan reached out with trembling fingers and stroked along the fur line, laughing breathlessly when the scaled creature purred under his chest and started pushing egg shell remains out of his lap to curl up on his human.

“H-Hello…Mika.” He whispered, beaming in glee when his dragon purred in acceptance of the name.

“Your dragon I see you have.” Obi-Wan looked up quickly, beaming at Yoda in response as the grandmaster smiled at him, sitting on the back of his own dragon. The murky swamp dragon snorted at the hatcling then settled as Yoda climbed of him to hobble closer, old eyes peering at the golden dragon. “Yes Master. She…” Obi-Wan couldn’t stop smiling, his emotions bubbling into the Force and making Mika chirrup at him in shared glee.

Yoda chuckled quietly. “A golden empress you have Obi-Wan. Rare they are, queens in their own right. Powerful flyers, able to command respect from others.” A clawed hand reached out to Mika and she snuffed at his hand before curling back up on Obi-Wan, getting a cackle out of the old master. “To be tamed they are not, companions they are. Respected and loved, if loyalty gained they are friends for life.”

Yoda knelt down slowly to smile at Obi-Wan. “Space flyers they are, scales harder then diamonds, fire breathers and mothers, protective of their brood. Strong your little one will be. Treat her right you must. But loved she is, bonded you two already are. Knows your love she does.”