I think I could’ve loved you once.“ She told him.
"Really? I liked you a lot at one point.”
“So did I. I think we didn’t get together because we were scared of the unknown. Two teenagers who were just too scared to love each other.”
“When I knew her, she was not of this Earth. She was, indeed, never of this earth. She was born of madness and suffering and declined into madness and suffering. But she had a period when the sun shone for her, when life was smiling. And she was smiling with it.“
i’ll never know love the same way as i know heartbreak.
maybe that just clarifies on what a mess i am.
no matter how much i throw the word around or conserve it till the right moment, it still hasn’t measured up inside.
and i’ll wonder why and how.
what am i missing, what am doing wrong.
But with heartbreak, it was different.
I felt it instantly and long after. I felt my heart was rip out of my chest. And I felt every hope and promise fly out of my hands. Like every ounce of emtion inside of me was actually real. too real.
and i’ll wonder why.
maybe it’s because i grew up only seeing love in fairytales and storybooks. while i knew heartbreak everytime i cried or heard arguements through the walls.
maybe i just knew heartbreak longer than love.
I WAS NOTHING TO YOU BUT A BLANK CANVAS. YOU PAINTED ME BLACK AND BLUE, SLICED THROUGH FLESH, BROKE BONES, PULLED APART MY RIBS AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO TRY TO GLUE IT ALL BACK TOGETHER LIKE I WAS SOME KIND OF SCULPTURE. YOU FUCKING DESTROYED ME AND DESPITE THAT I STILL LOVED YOU, I STILL LOVE YOU AND FUCK I HATE MYSELF FOR IT. BUT THE CUTS ARE HEALING NOW, MY BRUISES ARE FADING AND I’VE REALIZED THAT I’M TIRED. I’M TIRED OF HURTING. I’M TIRED OF YOU AND I’M SORRY BUT I HAVE TO LET THIS GO. I DESERVE A CHANCE TO FIND MYSELF, TO BE HUMAN, TO BE ME.