“ It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one ” → requested by @clairedaring
Getting over fears is not as scary as you think! :-)
of getting over fears - Being able to conquer your fears gives you a sense of
confidence, motivation, productivity, satisfaction, pride, and it empowers you to do bigger
things. You grow with each fear you conquer and you realize you have a lot of
potential in you that you never knew you had. You may even procrastinate less
because you get over the dread and fear of big projects and studying. And it’s
not the end result that makes you proud, it’s all about the effort and mental strength
you put in along the way that’s rewarding.
1 | Realize
how much power you’ve given to your fear - The first step is to realize you
actually want to conquer them instead of allowing them to set limits on how you
live. Fear is disabling, but it doesn’t have to be. Think about how your fears
prevent you from doing something you actually want to do. For example, I used
to be afraid of turning on gas stoves and I couldn’t cook meals as conveniently
in college like everyone else because of it. I hated it, accepted it, and thought
there was just no way around that fear. However, I realized that you have to
learn to control the fear instead of letting it control you. Set each fear you
want to get over as a goal to accomplish. Make a list and make the effort to
cross them off. But how do you gain the
courage to “just do it”? (tip: saying “YOLO” actually does help a little, or
things like “TODAY’S THE DAY, FOLKS” when you feel like making it happen.)
Change the way you think about the fear – Fear is all in your mindset. In my psych
classes, I learned about cognitive therapy and how it aims to change distorted
thinking and alter behavior. I connected that type of therapy to how we think
about fears and how it negatively affects our behaviors. Phobias are irrational
so it helps to change that thinking into something more rational by reminding
yourself of more realistic thoughts. For my gas stove fear, I repeatedly told
myself that I’ve seen my housemates turn it on a hundred times and nothing ever
goes wrong when they do it. When I feared dogs, I repeatedly reminded myself that
they won’t hurt me because the dogs seemed fine around other people. And if
your own words don’t help you, I have found quotes (mostly on tumblr) to be
extremely helpful tips/advice/wisdom in making me change my point of view on
fear. Write them down, put them on your wall, have a collection of them on your
blog, or just keep them in mind.
my top favorites that I found most helpful.
you can’t beat fear, then just do it scared.” – Glennon D. Melton
please ask yourself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid? And then go do it.” –
want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident
being uncertain. I don’t want to shrink back just because something isn’t easy.
I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can’t and I can.”
– Kristin Armstrong
3 | Baby
Face fears gradually and in small doses. A helpful phrase I learned in my psychology classes is “systematic
desensitization,” which is basically a way of progressively exposing yourself
to what you’re scared of and learning to relax and get used to your phobia. Here’s
how it helped me personally. My fear of dogs has kept me out of my friends’
houses for a very long time and one day I decided to just step in. Of course, that
involved a lot of anxiety. Usually, if I got anxious, I would just leave within
the first 5 minutes. However, for once, I let myself stay there until I got
calm, which took about 15 minutes before I was able to be okay in the same room
as the dog. I saw that the dog was no threat to my personal safety, but I still
was scared to touch it. My friend helped me hold onto the dog so it wouldn’t
make sudden movements and told me to just touch it with one finger, and I did.
A few minutes later, I was able to use my entire hand to pet the dog, and then
within an hour, I grew to really like this specific dog. One year later, I’m extremely
fond of big, fluffy dogs, but mostly because I was so proud of myself for
facing that fear. I’m still working on getting comfortable with smaller dogs
and other animals, but I’ve come a long way! Anxiety is no joke, I get it, and
it’s tougher for some than others, so only push yourself a little bit at a time
& at a pace you’re comfortable with There are days where you’re simply not
ready to take on a fear, and that’s okay! It’s always okay to take it slow!
4 | Keep
track of your progress, failures, and successes - Writing down your fears as
goals, identifying why you’re scared, and developing a plan to work on that
fear helps improve the chances of you actually completing them and trust me, it’s
gratifying to reflect on how far you’ve come and how much you’ve changed. It’s
all up to you on whether you want to record your progress in a bullet journal,
a diary, a blog, or just a sticky note, but having it down somewhere is key! I received a copy of Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You by Robie Rogge as a gift
this year. It’s a cute little journal that has a lot of helpful quotes and room
on each page to write down the date you did something scary and what scary
thing you did. It’s definitely worth checking out! I don’t write in it every
day, but I do write in it every time I conquered a fear, whether big or small,
and I love looking back at how many pages I’ve filled out and how I can’t wait
to add more milestones to my journal.
5 | The biggest fear to work on is the fear of getting over fears - Once you’re not
scared to conquer fears, then you’ve become truly fearless in any challenge. And
to do so, you just have to do it. Each fear you get over accumulates in
developing stronger, more open, and confident mindset and positively redefines
who you are! You are capable and you have the potential!
thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it.
Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like
it or not.” - Virgil Thomson
These tips might not be for everyone, but they worked for me, so I hope it
helps others grow too! :-) I understand that working
on things that give you anxiety is not easy, so this post is not to say you can
brush fears off like it’s a piece of cake because it’s really not that simple,
or else I wouldn’t have spent 20 years of my life being afraid of twenty
gazillion things. People are works in progress and hopefully this post motivates
you to make some progress, even if it’s just a little!
I loved ALL loyalty missions: -Cora: First of all, Vederia is such a nice character? And we get some much needed character development for Cora, highlightening her issue with mentors. She comes out of it stronger, much more self-assured and on her way to become a mentor herself (more about Cora here). -Vetra: Sister of the Galaxy Award goes to… Sid and Vetra? Both are good. I genuinely enjoyed how Sid showed Vetra it was important for her to become a “sister” again and let go of her role as parent (more about their dynamic here). The loyalty mission also introduces one of the coolest locations in the game. We all had fun with the Nomad, right??? -Drack: Vorn is a cutie and his relationship with Drack is surprisingly really sweet? I also liked bonding with Drack and getting to know him better. It’s clear he’s afraid of being irrelevant and too old to matter, and you’re basically telling him that no, he’s important. He’s REALLY important. And Vorn is nodding vigorously every time, which made me happy. Drack also has a lot of kickass quotes. Favorite is: “There’s only one thing getting destroyed here today. And that’s you. And this place. And also your boss. And probably your entire crew. So a lot of things are getting destroyed here, actually - and all of them are yours!” -Liam: Let’s face it, this is one of the funniest missions in the game. It also gives a calmer Liam afterwards, who in the end just wants people to be happy? And you’re like… “Liam, I get it. You want peace and love, you’re a good guy. It’s okay. How about we just don’t rush into things????” And he learns from that. -Peebee: The beginning of her loyalty mission made me laugh so hard. This is also the mission that made me see just how amazing Peebee is, how deeply she feels, and how all along she’s just been trying not to get hurt. At the end of the mission, she’s ready to commit and accepts that love might come with pain too. It made me really proud of her. -Jaal: This one is simply gorgeous. It’s probably one of the most interesting and nuanced missions in the game, offering very different point of views. I personally think Akksul is really complex and his relationship with Jaal quite intense. So we learned a lot. We also saw Jaal being really protective of his siblings and his people. I like that we see the fighter and the marshmallow at the same time :)
Ryoma - Sushi and anime blog. He’s Japan’s version of a weeaboo.
Hinoka - Fitblr. She’s got vegan recipes and pictures of people at the gym and different workouts outlined, with the occasional bird post.
Takumi - One of those edgy emo kid blogs with sad quotes. Brood brood brood.
Sakura - Medblr probably. She’d likely become a doctor and just put pictures of cadavers like, Normal day at school!
Saizo - Just a bunch of edgy should-be-on-a-Hot-Topic-shirt quotes and pictures.
Kagero - Art blog. A lot of it is eccentric and no one really understands her art tastes, but she’s in love with her blog and you can’t bring yourself to criticize her taste.
Azama - Music and lifestyle blog. He’s got a clean, neat aesthetic that he’s very proud of, and will blacklist as many things as he needs to in order to keep his dash neat as well.
Setsuna - Reblogs of really dreamy and whimsical images of things like water waves or outer space. Just anything that makes you feel warm or lost in thought.
Hinata - Fandom blog for Fairy Tail, probably. Or John Cena, whatever.
Oboro - Fashion blog. Primarily she deals with Asian fashion, whether it be Indian lenghas or Japanese yukatas, she’s got it all in her collection.
Hana - Nature blog. She loves nature and photography, so her tumblr is a potpourri of her own and other’s photographs of plants, animals, landscapes, skies, you name it.
Subaki - Just filled with selfies of himself. He has a touch-up app that he uses to make sure any breakouts are concealed and that the perfect amount of light reflects from his eyes. If there is less than 100 notes after 4 hours of posting a picture, he will take it down, for it was less than perfect.
Hayato - Food porn blog. Oh his love of sweets may be something he hides, but he indulges when he’s on tumblr, just frothing at the mouth as he scrolls through pictures of perfectly sculpted cupcakes and smooth, rich brownies.
Kaden - Zootopia fandom blog.
Orochi - Medieval aesthetic blog. She loves the older times of Europe and Feudal Japan, obsessed with the cultural aspects and any images and quotes associated with that pop up on her blog.
Rinkah - Fitblr. She’s the inspiration of so many other girls and always reads the nice messages she gets, feeling warmed by the love she’s showered with and adores seeing her own followers improve their physical shape upon seeing her.
Reina - She probably uses tumblr as Pinterest, she just goes full mom-mode and loves to collect ideas on various projects, but fails at pulling through with any of them.
Yukimura - Book porn. Like images of libraries and old books, writing, all of that he loves.
Scarlet - Social justice blog. She is a very active feminist and eagerly participates in engaging conversations about issues with her country. She does get a hot head a times, but she is so good about apologizing and admitting to her mistakes.
Shiro - Sports blog. He actively posts analysis on recent matches and games for the sports he follows. His favorite sports are Sumo and Cricket.
Kiragi - Archery blog. He’ll create his own niche for it, he’s obsessed with the sport and loves to blog about it, even though his posts get anywhere between 0 and 2 notes.
Asugi - See Hayato.
Selkie - Crafting blog. She loves to make stuff, sewing, knitting, crocheting, sculpting, carving, painting, jewelry making, she loves all of it and has too many projects reblogged for her to ever catch up with.
Hisame - Pickle blog. Very cucumber.
Mitama - Poetry blog. She writes a ton of poems and has a huge following, and often promotes other poets on tumblr, which has earned her a lot of respect and love from all communities of tumblr.
Caeldori - Her blog mainly focuses on falling in and out of love as she progresses through her love life. She has lots of sad and happy quotes and going on her blog means you’re going to want to confess to someone after you’re done scrolling.
Rhajat - South Asian aesthetic blog. She loves the rich culture of South Asia and the Middle East, and her outfits are inspired by much of that traditional apparel. She is educated in the cultural aspects and is very cautious about appropriation. Of course, the occasional hex is mixed in with her posts… shhhh…
have you got any links to any interviews about my chemical romance or gerard way talking about self harm or/suicide? i've been looking for one for ages because i think it would be a bi help to me:) i love your blog btw x
This video has a lot of good quotes from Gerard: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8ODZm6WfTo
“Nothing is worth hurting yourself over. Nothing is worth taking your life over, do you understand?”
“No matter how desperate you get, no matter how upset, how depressed, you never, ever use violence as a solution.”
"Even though we’re all outcasts in our own way, we all do belong in this world, we all fit in this world.”
“It’s more important to keep yourself alive, there’s nothing worth even hurting yourself over. I’m a person that goes through a lot of depression and stress, things like that… It’s normal. It’s completely normal to be depressed.”
I hope that helps. If you ever want someone to talk to, I’m here. I battle with anxiety and depression every day and I know sometimes suicide seems like the easy way out, but Gerard’s right - pay attention to those quotes and remember you’re not alone. Things will get better x