has someone made this joke before if they have i'm sorry

Tower of Dawn

     So I think it’s time this fandom had a sit-down and talked some things out. Today’s topic: ableism. Before all of y’all start jumping on me and dismissing me and trying to say I have no right to talk about this, let me tell you a bit about myself.

     I was born with spina bifida. For those of you that don’t know that is, it’s when a baby’s spinal chord and nerves don’t develop properly. I had my first surgery to help this condition when I was eight days old. The excess amount of scar tissue in my lower back had begun to wrap around my spinal chord, which for obvious reasons is dangerous. I had the same surgery when I was four years old, and that’s when my life changed forever. I’d been able to walk before using a leg brace, but due to a mistake by the surgeon, my left leg was left paralyzed. I was a normal (and I hate using the word normal here, normal is an absolutely useless construct of society, but for lack of a better word at the moment, bear with me) kid, mobile and able to move around as I pleased, and then I couldn’t. I’ve been using a wheelchair since then. I’m not telling you guys this because I want pity. I don’t. I’ve accepted it as part of my life, and I love myself just the way I am. This little explanation is here so you guys can understand exactly where I’m coming from when you read the rest of this post. So with all this in mind, here goes my not-so-little rant.

     DISCLAIMER: I will be calling people out in this post and tagging them because I am done. 1000%, completely fucking done with this fandom. And if this causes a shitstorm, fuck it, because this needs to be said and this fandom needs to learn to stop being hypocritical pieces of crap.

     I love these books. I love Sarah’s writing in general,  and I would read literally anything she wrote. These books, Aelin’s story, Feyre’s story, are so important to me. I don’t have words to describe how much they mean to me. I love talking about them and healthy and constructive conversations about them. And some of the jokes that have been made  by the fandom are some of favorites. I’ve made some of them myself. I’ll joke alongside all of you about wingspans and gold nightgowns for as long as you want.

     I want to make something perfectly clear: this rant is in no way a reflection of my thoughts about her books. This post is exclusively about the fandom’s disgusting behavior.

     So let’s start with this post that I saw earlier.



     Disability is not kinky.

     For those of you that can’t understand that, let me repeat it.

     Disability is not kinky.

     DISABILITY. IS. NOT. KINKY.

     This whole post is horrifyingly ableist. And before you guys start claiming that “I have disabled relatives, I can’t be ableist!” (@rowan-stole-my-heart, I’m looking at you. Remember that conversation last year? Nice to know you’re still disgusting), that’s like saying “I have African-American friends, therefore I can’t be racist!”, which is such an inherently flawed line of arguing that it would require a whole other post to address, so I’ll just say don’t try it. I can’t even begin to fathom the mental process all of these people went through to think that this was even remotely acceptable in any way, shape, or form, so let me break this down and explain to you why this isn’t.

     This, my horrifyingly inconsiderate friends, is a form of fetishism. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fetishism is the pathological displacement of erotic interest and satisfaction to a fetish. Now that you know what that is, let’s move on.

     This whole fandom has been complaining about a lack of diversity in Sarah’s books since I joined the fandom. Diversity doesn’t just mean POC, which is exactly what this fandom conveniently forgets. Diversity includes POC, people with mental illness, people with physical disability, LGBT+ people, and so much more. And when Sarah finally adds someone who embodies a slice of that diversity, you all have the gall to reduce his situation to sex jokes. All I can say is how dare you. How dare you reduce someone’s life and reality to a kink, to something to be made fun of, to something that spices up your dash and makes it NSFW just because you wanted to make fun of a book cover you probably weren’t satisfied with. In doing so you are insulting the thousands upon thousands of people that are in the same situation. You’re reducing them – reducing me – to a fantasy that you can use and then dismiss the next moment, without regard for anyone’s feelings. Do you have any idea how difficult of a topic sex is for people with disabilities? We are laughed at for wanting sex. Our anxiety when it comes to that is ten times that of any able-bodied person, simply because we don’t fit into the box that society wants to shove everyone into. And you’re making it that much worse because you have the audacity to think the fact that someone can’t move their legs is funny.

     It hurts. Reading that post hurt like hell. Because in your eyes – in society’s eyes – people like me aren’t human. We’re just something to ride, right? Yeah, I didn’t miss that little gem of a comment, @readinglikewildfire.

     And because I know this is coming, no, Chaol isn’t just a character.

     But you know what, I get it. It’s just sex, right? A small joke made, no harm done.

     Wrong.

     You’re perpetuating yet another harmful concept cooked up by a disgustingly ableist society. Sorry, but your privilege and utter ignorance are showing. I will concede a bit and agree that we can treat fiction for what it is – something that isn’t real – up to a certain point. But you guys just crossed a line. For those of you saying that you feel guilty for laughing, you absolutely fucking should, because this shit isn’t funny.

     The fact is if that post had been making fun of race or mental illness, then the fandom would have ripped these people to shreds and they would have been reported many, many times over. But it’s not, and instead I can count on my fingers the number of people that stood up to say this was wrong, because it’s just another wheelchair joke, right? Who cares? To those that did, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, especially @throne-of-omg-the-feels and @midnight-wonder.​ It’s nice to know there’s still some hope for humanity left. And to @nerdperson524, I agree with you. People do need a laugh, even those that live their lives stuck in chairs. But that post? It’s downright offensive.

     So that’s it. I’m done blowing things out of proportion, as some of you will say. If you think I should have approached you privately and messaged you about this instead of publicly calling you out, then maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t have PUBLICLY insulted mocked degraded an entire subset of the human population. And maybe that makes me a bad person. It certainly means I’m not being the bigger person. And I could honestly care less. I am tired. So sick and tired of constantly being the bigger person, of just staying quiet when I see things like this because what’s the use? The entire world is filled with this shit and it’s not like I can fight every time I see this kind of injustice. Nothing’s going to change, no matter what I do. But this? This is where I draw the line. Congratulations.


@crochanblackbeak @feysandsmut @the-bookish-soul @rowan-buzzard-whitethorn @abraxoswyvernnn @carrion-princess

bellaandtheinfinitesadness  asked:

Like idk if you do request or ideas or whatever, but an au where 2017 dan is teaching the reader (or 2009 phil), how to fuck 2009 dan. Would actually be awesome.

Sorry for the long ass wait. If you have trouble reading om mobile, open in your phone browser y’all.

Dan Howell has always had a problem with finishing things. There’s a file on his computer with an endless list of unfinished video ideas, a half-completed photo board he started about a year ago pushed under his bed, and about five songs on piano that he’s only taught himself a quarter of the way through. He’s never been great at finishing things he’s started, so it’s no surprise that he’s the same when it comes to sex.

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anonymous asked:

Jily AU: Your photos keep showing up on my iPhone, and the internet helped me track you down. Now we’re kind of celebrities, and also I think you’re hot. (Inspired by "I Followed My Stolen iPhone Across The World, Became A Celebrity In China, And Found A Friend For Life" on Buzzfeed)

The article can be found here. I recommend it. It’s a wild ride. Some liberties were taken with the prompt. 

Because James is a fucking idiot, his phone gets stolen.

He knows he’s a rowdy drunk and he knows the three word mantra any university student needs when they go out (‘phone-cash-keys’) but Sirius has bet that he can take more Jägerbombs than James and he’s never been able to back down from a challenge. He doesn’t even think twice about whether his phone is in the pocket of his jeans or his coat, the latter of which he leaves at the table. He swears Peter is sitting there when he leaves, but when he comes back ten minutes later and a whole lot dizzier, the table is empty, coat and all.

He and Sirius find Peter later, crouched over a toilet and heaving with Remus patting his back. James has the decency to wait until his friend is done vomiting to ask, “Pete, d’you have my phone?”

If possible, Peter gets greener. “Sorry,” is all he gets out before shaking his head and clutching his stomach.

Peter ends up feeling worse about the whole thing than James does. James is upset to have lost all his pictures and apps, and he’s livid at the wanker who decided to grab his phone, but ultimately, he can afford a new phone and he can take new pictures, so in a few months he’ll likely get over it. But Peter insists that because James left his phone with him, it’s Peter who owes him a new one.

James attempts to refuse. Peter doesn’t have the kind of money to replace his phone, and James isn’t about to put that on him.

“My friend Dung knows how to get an iPhone for dirt cheap,” Peter claims, and reluctantly, James agrees.

And so it begins.

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“Darkiplier VS Antisepticeye” is Mark’s Effort to Take Back Control From Dark: A Theory

(Disclaimer: I know nothing about any of Jack’s egos, so this is entirely about Mark’s. Disclaimer 2, Electric Boogaloo: I had my Frosted Mini Wheats like two hours late today, and that threw off my groove, so I’m sorry if I’m less eloquent than usual. Disclaimer III- This Time, It’s Personal: The only reason this isn’t under a read more is because someone told me to do that last time, but they weren’t very nice about it, so now I’m being petty. I’m sorry for being the worst. I still love you guys, though.)

In my last theory, we discussed the possibility that Dark is trying to take back control through more subtle means this time, and that he has a plan that we didn’t get to see during Markiplier TV. He’s been slowly giving hints of his existence in videos, teasing just enough to get people talking. He hasn’t revealed himself outright in any videos since Markiplier TV; he hasn’t denied being in them, either. 

Remember this interaction between @markiplier and @hufflepufftrax?

Mark quickly dispels rumors about Darkiplier when they’re not true. Why, then, would he not clear the air during the chaos of World’s Quietest Let’s Play 4, or any other video that has stirred up the community a great deal more than this photo ever did? The logical train of thought, then, is that these really were Dark appearances and we are supposed to know it. So, if Dark has been going about this so carefully all along, why would he reveal himself by sharing the spotlight in a comedy sketch? The short answer is that he wouldn’t. The reality is… say it with me now… it’s just Mark impersonating Dark!

Yeah, I know, no shock there. You’ve been hearing that since the video dropped. I talked about it when answering an ask, which I’m screenshotting and dropping below for your convenience, because I’m just a nice gal like that.

So now we have to ask, why would Mark do this? If Dark really is starting to take back control, this would be a dangerous time to pull a stunt like this, wouldn’t it? Well, it makes sense when you consider the fact that Mark has all but run out of options. 

Every time Dark is hinted at, the community goes wild. It doesn’t matter how subtle the hint may be- if the lights in the background of a video are red and blue, someone will point it out. Someone will draw him. Someone will get excited. And then, over time, everyone will get excited. 

Even if Mark tried to warn us, it only fueled the fire. Reaching out for help, trying to tell us that Dark is here– it is exactly what Dark wants. So Mark now has to try a different tactic. The only way that Dark can lose at this point is if he loses his allure to the viewers, and the only way to do that is to use his own method against him: Dark is pretending to be Mark, and now Mark is pretending to be Dark in order to discredit him. More specifically, he’s trying to get Dark out of the way, impersonate him, and make a fool out of him. That sounds… familiar, doesn’t it? Have we heard that somewhere before?

What if I change up the tense a little and word it a bit more like this?

“Pushed aside. Replaced. Mocked.”

Originally posted by rubies-and-oaktrees

That rings a few more bells, doesn’t it?

When we put all of these things together, a picture starts to form: Mark kept Dark at bay for years by making him a joke, but then he made the mistake of letting down his guard. Letting him back in. Now, Mark is fighting back using the only method that he has ever known to work. Why wouldn’t it this time? Making silly edits, taking over Mark’s twitter with edgy, emo poetry… it was enough to dissuade the community last time. So what could make it fail now? How could humor no longer be sufficient to drive Dark away?

The key difference this time is that Dark is not simply a wisp of a presence like he was years ago. He can’t be laughed off anymore. He is here. He is real. He is powerful. He does not like to be mocked, and this action from Mark will most definitely have consequences.

And the blame for that, really, falls on all of us. As Mark said all those years ago, we made Dark real.  Back then, he had to resort to humor to keep Dark at bay, because none of us would listen to him when he warned us. Now, history’s repeating itself,  but the outcome isn’t so sure this time. We learned nothing in the process. Now Dark has become too strong, because we, the viewers, keep letting him back in. Mark tries to tell us that Dark is here and we are thrilled about it.

So, really, the question isn’t, “Why would Mark do this?”

The question is, 

Why didn’t we listen?

Stuff I've Actually Heard People Say
  • "Yeah, I just stuck him in the microwave."
  • "My friends and I have planned a murder for after school. Any tips?"
  • "You have another arm?" "Dude, everyone has two arms."
  • "It's simple, you just gag them and throw them in the trunk!"
  • "To heck with paleontology."
  • "Can you imagine if Velociraptors had wings?" "Well, actually-"
  • "Suh dude." "Same."
  • "Guard it with your life." "My knife?"
  • "First, you need have no life, Second, sell your soul to Adele."
  • "Feet; they're hands for your legs."
  • "Wow, those sure are some nice fish scales on your facial protrusions." "You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet."
  • "It's not even good garbage."
  • Teacher to the class: "Guys, I'm sorry but uh... my dog ate your homework." *Passes back chewed-up papers*
  • "Bros before toes."
  • "Woah, Dude, is that Harambe on your lock screen?" "Dude, that's my dog."
  • "Can you imagine just walking up to someone and slapping them in the face with a piece of meat?"
  • "Hey man, got any gum." "Nah dude, I'm about to kill myself." "I'm not sure how those are related, but okay."
  • "You're made of good dirt."
  • "Stop breathing so much."
  • "All my drawings look dead inside because I am dead inside."
  • "I didn't have lunch this morning."
  • "I have a strong desire to make dictators dance."
  • "Is this revenge for the octopus at the fair?"
  • "Embrace your inner childhood." "Embrace? You've got yours in a headlock!"
  • "Make sure you have Target popcorn at my funeral."
  • "And fill my coffin with glitter."
  • "I put the 'fun' in funeral."
  • "Oh my gosh, someone is going to get punched in the throat."
  • "I could do math in the time it's taking this light to change."
  • "We were both crying; it was fun."
  • "It's Halloween! Merry Christmas!...Wait."
  • "So like, if a centaur got arrested, would you handcuff its' legs?"
  • "Yeah, and I like the smell of farts."
  • "I stuffed your heart in my pencil bag, so I won't forget."
  • "Life sucks, but at least I have my Poptart."
  • "I want to build a mirror out of spoons."
  • "Joke's on you, I don't have a soul."
  • "Boy howdy do I like eating leaves off the ground."
  • "I'd rather be burnt toast than frozen bread."
  • "When I die, bury me in a Hefty bag... but make it a pretty color."
  • "I just got a great idea." "Dress up as Batman and beat up ____?"
  • "Plan B: Cry"
  • "Oh yeah, the guy with the head on his neck."
  • "I just choked on an oat."
  • "You're a substitute for a good friend."
  • "Dude, I once dropped a breakfast burrito on the garage floor, and I still ate it."
  • "We never go stale. Unlike our jokes."
  • "They speak American."
i'm glad i married you (m)

part one: marry me.


pairing: taehyung x reader 
word count: 5.8k 
genre: fluff & smut 

prompt: I know you not taking requests but can u pleassseeee write a continuation for the Tae fluff you’ve posted?? 💕😫 only if you want to and got time, if not just ignore please maybe one where they got married and are on honeymoon and you can add smut since you don’t have any Taehyung smut 😉😉 thank you fighting 🎀 

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dating tom and sam has a thing for you : head canon 

requested: yes 

summary: all in the title :)


  • Sam didn’t mean to fall for you 
  • He didn’t even think it was more than a crush
  • And he absolutely wished he didn’t have these feelings 
  • You were his dating his older brother, Tom 
  • But he really couldn’t help himself
  • The first day Tom brought you home to meet the family he knew he was in trouble 
  • He couldn’t help but stare a little extra longer than he should’ve when you walked in behind Tom, your hand intertwined with his 
  • He couldn’t help but let his hand linger longer than it should’ve when you two shook hands 
  • He couldn’t help the blush rising on his freckled cheeks whenever you laughed
    • Especially at a joke he made, he wasn’t sure he could even speak after that moment 
  • He for sure couldn’t help the sting of jealousy whenever he noticed Tom’s hands on you, even in the most innocent gestures
  • He’d never developed a crush on someone that quickly
  • And it honestly worried him 
  • With his luck, the happy couple was staying for the weekend
  • Which meant he was given no choice but to spend more time with you
  • In the mornings, he was silently praising you for how beautiful you could look after just waking up, not a trace of makeup, not a trace of anything but sleep still evident in your eyes
  • In the afternoon, he had been messing around on the piano, only to find out you were standing behind him
  • You’d praise his talent, causing him to jump and spin around on the bench 
  • He’d slam the cover shut and jump up 
  • “I-uh, that wasn’t me” 
  • “Don’t deny it, you’re crazy good. Can you keep playing?”
  • He’s certain he lost the ability to breathe and forgot how to do so 
  • He’d sit back down cautiously and play the first melody that came to mind
  • As he did so, you’d take a seat next to him and watch the ways his fingers fluttered across the keys 
  • Your thigh would be gently touching his and even the slightest contact sent sparks through his body 
  • In the evenings, he silently admired the way you offered to help before and after dinner with various tasks
  • But the admiration was soon disrupted when he saw Tom come and wrap his arms around your waist from behind, a giggle leaving your lips as he’d pepper your face with kisses 
  • Sam actually prayed after you had left that the feelings would go away, that it was in the spur of the moment 
  • Those prayers went unanswered
  • A few weeks later you had posted on Instagram, a picture of you and Tom with enormous, matching grins
  • He felt his body run warm with envy 
  • Envious that it was Tom in the picture and not him 
  • You and Sam barely even spoke, but he still found himself infatuated with you 
  • When Tom texted him, called him, or visited, he felt pure guilt
  • It’s not like he had acted upon his crush, but he felt absolutely horrible for having these feelings towards someone his own brother was with 
  • Harry was the first to notice it 
  • “Bro, do you…like Y/N?”
  • “W-what? Where? When? Huh, how? N-no, who’s that?”
  • “God, you’re an awful liar.” 
  • Harry trying to help Sam come up with an intervention 
  • All progress was faltered after Sam’s phone had lit up with a text from you 
  • “Hey Sam! just wondering if there’s any good songs i could start learning on the piano?? since you’re obviously the master at it”
  • His jaw would drop slightly, Harry taking note immediately 
  • “No..Sam…bad Sam.” 
  • He’d respond almost instantly
  • Harry would end up taking his phone 
  • To Sam’s protests, his twin figured the only person that could help this problem would be Tom 
  • Harry rang Tom on FaceTime, shoving the phone in Sam’s face 
  • “Hey, Tom, hope all’s well, here’s your other favorite brother, he’s got to talk to you, alright bye” 
  • Tom being surprised by the random call but obviously happy to see Sam 
  • Sam would be quieter than usual for the first few minutes, insisting on listening to Tom tell stories of his career
  • Of course most of them included you since you tended to travel with him 
  • “IThinkILikeY/NI’mSoSorryI’mTheWorstBrotherEverAndIt’sJustACrushAndIt’llGoAwayAnd-”
  • Tom slightly chuckling at the confession 
  • “It’s alright, bro, I already knew” 
  • “Did Harry tell you, what the hell?”
  • “No, actually Y/N asked why you were so weird around her and I eventually picked it up. No hard feelings, mate” 
  • Sam visibly lets out the biggest sigh of relief 
  • He feels a weight being lifted off of him 
  • “Thank you, I’m sorry, I feel so bad” 
  • “It’s alright, I promise, but thank you for telling me and being honest” 
  • Sam being thankful he had the world’s greatest older brother 
  • The two of them talked for a little while longer before you of course appeared in the background 
  • You noticed Sam’s familiar face on the screen and waved after bidding a hello 
  • Sam returned the greeting and immediately went quiet after remembering he was on a call with Tom
  • Tom giggling at the exchange 
  • “What’s so funny?”
  • “Nothing, love” 
  • The freckled boy is just relieved Tom didn’t spill the beans 
  • However, Tom can tell Sam is back to being uncomfortable and reassures him after you leave the room 
  • “Don’t worry, bud. It’s just a crush and it happens to the best of us.” 
  • As time goes on, Sam does realize how great you are for Tom and starts to appreciate you for that reason 
  • And if the secret is accidentally spilled one year at Christmas after Tom has had one too many beer(s), Sam can’t help but blush all over again before being tackled in a hug by you 
  • “I’m honored, Sam, I really am” 
  • That was all he needed  

This fic has been on my chest for days and I’m so glad that it’s finally done!

Anyway, this is based on @kaxpha‘s lost lance au and I was so excited to write this, the au has taken over my life no kidding. It also has a second part and you can find it here on @bleusarcelle‘s blog.

I’m very proud of how this came out(for now at least) :’)

I hope you’ll like it! <3


Keith hears the moment when Shiro takes in a shaky breath as the two of them and the rest of the guests watch Allura walks down the aisle. She stands tall and proud, a big smile on her face but when she meets Keith’s eyes for a few moments, he can see the storm of emotions that they hide.

He gives her an encouraging smile before her eyes move on to Shiro. The moments their gazes lock it’s like something shifts in the room: the mood, the quiet, the air. Keith isn’t sure what changes, but it feels like a relieved sigh. It feels like Allura is saying you’re here, like Shiro is agreeing iIm here, it feels like both of them are realizing we’re here and this is happening and i’ve never been more happy before.

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Burnouts, Booze, and Babes

Originally posted by butaer

Summary: Taehyung and Jeongguk are just two small town best friends, getting drunk too often and making big plans they’ll probably never achieve. Taehyung takes it upon himself to teach Jeongguk all of the proper ways to have sex, and Jeongguk swears he’s just hanging around because Taehyung’s good in bed. Who would have thought these small town losers, who used to smoke behind the school, would become jewelers at the biggest department store in Seoul. [Pre Givenchy & Gold]
Pairing: Jeongguk x Taehyung
Word Count: 32.850
Rating: M
Warnings: too much sex, too many kinks, mentions of drug use, Taehyung calling Jeongguk so many nasty things, two bros chilling 5ft apart in a hot tub (“swear I’m not gay”), switching, uhhhh daddy kink
A/N: @blueagust and I have basically spent the last couple weeks screaming at each other about Taehyung and Jeongguk’s history from her story Givenchy&Gold, and with the little restraint I have, this happened. Lou, this is an absolute mess and I probably destroyed your entire fic timeline, but happy early Kwanza or some shit (which is totally an excuse Tae gives when he’s buying Jeon another pair of earrings.) This is not good enough for you but I hope you like it anyway!!

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the best thing he never had ; four

one , two , three , four , five

pairing; jungkook x reader

genre; best friend!au

word count; 4.8k

summary; in this story, you have known your best friend for more than 15 years and you were utterly and wholly in love with him


You promised that you would get to tell him.

Soon, that is.

But not now— not when he had been stressing out over midterms and you, being just as busy with packing your things and talking with the administrator back and forth about how your trip would all go down.

The global internship was a chance for you to finally do something that you loved and prove that you are worthy of something more than just purely passing every midterm and getting good grades effortlessly (at least that’s what they say when you’re not listening). But truly, you knew that this internship to see dozens of places could help you go back to your roots and experience the many things you wouldn’t be able to do with just plain studying.

You were going to Australia, the first place that your mother took you when you were seven and you could vaguely remember the streets that everyone walked on all throughout the day and you grasping onto your mother’s arm as tightly as you could in fear of getting side tracked and losing her all at once.

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kandreil bodyswap au for @keysandhonesty for the @aftgexchange!

(also shoutout to @andrewiel who i talked to about this au and to @gangseyys for helping me out! <3)


  • spite is one of the main essences in the kandreil household
  • especially between kevin and andrew
  • so neil gets used to seeing andrew climbing up a chair to reach his sweets or kevin searching for the vegetables that andrew threw away
  • it’s a fucking mess
  • but what else is new
  • neil usually stays out of it bc “it’s childish, stop it”
  • (he one time tried to interfere and the next day he couldn’t find his clothes for running)
  • (he doesn’t know if andrew or kevin did it)
  • (it was andrew)
  • but one day everything gets even messier
  • neil gets on his normal morning jog
  • but as he comes back, there is … chaos hell
  • andrew is sitting in front of the hall mirror and looking horrified
  • kevin sits at the couch and stares blankly at his hands
  • of course neil gets instantly worried
  • “neil, tell me that this is not real” comes from andrew
  • neil literally has visible ???? over his head
  • “i’m kevin, not andrew”
  • neil would think they are joking, but he never saw andrew express this much emotion before
  • so he looks at kevin andrew at the couch who looks at them with a frown
  • “do you have anything to do with this?”
  • “h o w would i?”
  • andrew’s got a headache
  • he reaches for the pack of cigarrettes, but oh boy
  • kevin did not forget who’s body andrew’s currently in
  • “i will kill you if you do that, i never smoked once in my life”
  • andrew stands up
  • WITH the cigarettes in his hand
  • kevin goes straight to the fridge and gets the first green thing he sees
  • “istg, i will stuff your body with vegetables”
  • “i will kill you”
  • “you’d kill yourself”
  • this is confusing
  • they all don’t like it
  • please end it

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A Meta on Fandom Bullshit

So while I continue to work on the Flaming Arrow Meta, you get a overly long and detailed analysis about this fandom’s drama and all the bullshit with it.

warning: long and picture heavy. Includes mentions of violence, gore, sexual themes, vague spoilers for Wonder Woman and The VVitch, swearing and sarcasm. 

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Battle of the Dates

Request: oooh! hello, can I request a reader x eth on a double date with amy and mark?? (psst if you want split it into a couple parts where they do something different each time because I support the idea of lots of double dates) thanks love xx // hello again, I requested the double date with amy and mark, just wanted to add that it would be a fem!reader :) thanks, sorry for not telling you before xx

Summary: Fem!Reader goes on a double date with Amyplier. It’s a fun time I guess.

A/N: You guys I made a gif for you people. Be proud of me, I’m crossing mediums! Jk I just went to a website and typed in a URL I’m not special haha. But forreal, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, WHY ARE THERE ALMOST NO TEAMIPLIER GIFS IN THE GIF SEARCH THING it’s annoying af and results in me having to make crappy gifs on the internet. Anyway, this fic is open to multiple parts! If you have an idea for a part 2 to this, send it in! There is a text conversation in this fic! ‘-’ is the reader, ‘=‘ is Amy. Hope you all enjoy!

Wordcount: 1000, it was so short originally I literally had to add in an entire extra scene to not give you a shitty 500 word fic lol

Request some more guys! I’ll get to them in the next batch of fics!

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alexiea1  asked:

Pinning keith angst Lance writes love letters and put it in what he thinks is his crushes locker but it's Keith's locker. Lance finds out and tells keith that they weren't met for him. Keith, who is crushing on him hard now is very sad 😏 gotta love the angst

Ohhhhhhh

“What’s this?” Keith pulled an envelope out of his locker, his fingers ghosting over the baby blue paper. 

“It looks like a lover letter,” Pidge wiggled their eyebrows as they attempted to snatch the envelope from Keith’s hand. 

“Stop that!” Keith pushed the younger person off them, “you gremlin.” 

Pidge laughed, stepping away from Keith, giving the raven boy some space to open the letter, being careful not to rip it. 

Your eyes shine like the stars at night, your hair wrapping my eyes in the night sky. You’re everything I want, please keep the stars alive. ~Blue <3

Keith felt his face turn red as he scanned the letter with his eyes over and over again, the words digging into his mind. What?

“What does it say?!” Pidge climbed up Keith’s back and he gripped the piece of paper tighter in his hands. 

“Who wrote this?!” Anger slightly consumed his voice and Pidge jumped away from the pale boy. 

“Wh-what does it say? Is it something bad?!” They tighten their hands into fists as the idea of their friend getting bullied. 

Keith shook his head, “no, no, it’s nothing bad, just a love letter?” He wasn’t really sure what it was since he had never gotten one before but he was sure they were like this. 

Pidge blinked a few times, scanning the letter when Keith turned it towards them. “It’s actually a love letter…I was just joking about that,” they gave a nervous laugh and stepped away from their friend, “I guess someone has a crush on youuuuu” 

Keith folded the letter and placed it securely in his backpack, “I’m sure it was just a fluke or something. Let’s just get going before we’re late for class.”

Pidge nodded, shutting their locker and quickly changing the subject to mothman.

-

Yet Keith soon learned that the first letter wasn’t a fluke, more appeared everyday. Every time Keith opened his locker a new letter would be there, the baby blue paper looking out of place among Keith’s red’s and black items. 

Keith would never let it show or tell Pidge but he looked forward to the letter everyday, it was nice to feel wanted for once. Moving from school to school had made it very difficult for Keith to feel wanted or have people ask him out. 

“Aren’t you curious who’s writing you these?” Pidge adjusted their glasses and Keith pulled another letter out of his locker. 

Keith shrugged, “kinda? I just want to know why really. I mean I’m not to look at and if it’s a girl they won’t have a chance with me anyways.” 

Pidge nodded, grabbing their backpack, “what if it’s that Lance kid? You know captain of swim team? And our class president?” 

Keith hid his face from his friend, feeling his skin heat up at that name. Lance. He was the first boy Keith had checked out at this school, there was simply something different about him that drew him to Keith but they had only spoken a few times. 

“I highly doubt it, plus isn’t he like straight?” Keith placed the letter in his bag, mentally clearing time in his schedule to read it later.

Pidge shrugged, “I think he’s bi? Not sure but I’ve heard rumors, plus he’s always around that Hunk guy.” 

-

This went on for almost a month before Keith learned who was actually putting the letters in his locker. He had just turn the corner to where the lockers were, slightly rushing to grab his book, he had forgotten it before going to class. Crap, why did I forget it?! He quickly scanned the small numbers on every locker, his eyes reading the numbers before he bumped into someone. “Oh sorry, I didn’t see you there.” 

“It’s no problem man, sorry I got in your way.” 

Keith’s eyes went wide as he quickly turned his head towards the voice, the voice that he had memorized the selective times he had the pleasure of hearing it. Lance! “No, it’s cool, no need for apologies.” Keith laughed nervously and reached for the dial on his locker. 

Lance cleared his throat, “so are you grabbing something for someone?” 

He sounded nervous and Keith shook his head slightly, “no this is my locker,” he chuckled slightly, glancing at the tanner boy, whose eyes were wide as the moon. “You okay?” 

Lance opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking like a fish out of water, “wait wait wait wait this is your locker?!” 

Keith nodded slightly, he didn’t know what to say, why would Lance care if it was his locker or not? 

Lance groaned, dragging his hand down his face, “shit, this isn’t good. You’re telling me that this isn’t Nyma’s locker?” 

Keith nodded, “Nyma’s locker is 245, I’m 254.” He swung the metal door open, hiding a smile as he saw the familiar blue paper sitting on his books. 

“Then I gotta apologize…for the letters that you have been receiving.” Lance avoided Keith’s eyes and Keith felt his face go red. 

Lance has been writing those letters?! Does he like me???? Keith raised his eyebrows, “ why are you apologizing?” 

Lance stared at the ground, “they weren’t for you, they were for Nyma.” 

Keith’s face fell as he looked at the unopened letter, “ oh okay, I suppose that makes sense.” Keith grabbed the letter, ignoring how his hand shook as he handed it to Lance, “go get her man.” 

Lance stared at the letter, his hand hesitantly coming up to grab the blue paper. “Thanks man, um do you have the other ones?” 

Keith shook his head, shutting his locker, his book long forgotten. “Sorry, I kinda threw them away,” lie, “I thought they were a bit cheesy for my taste.” Keith adjusted his backpack and gave the tanner boy a smile. “I wish you luck.” 

Lance smiled, sending Keith a friendly salute before running to the right locker.

Keith slowly made his way towards the nearest restroom, the tears failing before he could lock himself in the stall. He gripped at his hair, tugging at the thick strands, just once, just once why couldn’t I have had someone? He thought about how happy Lance would be with Nyma and he wiped his eyes, new tears replacing the old ones quickly. Pull it together Keith, it’s a dumb boy who probably didn’t even remember your name. Keith grabbed some toilet paper and blew his nose, fuck class. He closed his eyes, letting his heart slowly fall apart. Least he still had the others letters, he could still pretend. 

I headcanon that Nyma dyes her hair all the time lol 

My poor son :( 

I hope you like it!

Sorry it took so long!

Thank you <333333333

anonymous asked:

Hey, could you please write about Jealous Harry? Not violent,crazy, impossible things but something where you're not properly a couple but you have a thing for each other, and he has made you a little jealous before and now he finds himself in your position when you're casually flirting with another guy? And this guy being really charming and you know hot flirt? I know this is really detailed I'm so sorry, totally understand if you don't want to! I really like your writings!

Ah yes, jealous Harry. Good stuff.
Thanks so much for reading my works, and thank you for requesting! I hope you enjoy!
I’ll try to get through all of my requests, but I am a slow writer, so please bear with me. x

You pull your buzzing phone from your pocket and your heart does a little flip when you see the name of the caller across the screen. It’s been a while since you’d last seen Harry. To be fair, you were ignoring him because he was the one who had been flirty with one of the girls from the studio. You know at times he’s naturally flirty- that’s just the way Harry is- but you are still bitter about it and you’ve been blowing off plans with him without giving him a clue as to why.

You pick up the phone after it rings twice and greet him with a soft “hi, H.”

“Are you off work? Thought maybe we could grab dinner or something.” Harry’s voice is so smooth through the speaker you feel a smile form on your lips.

“I’m actually going to get after-work drinks with someone.” You almost feel bad for blowing him off again until a thought crosses your mind. This would be the perfect time for you to get back at him for making you jealous before. “Hey! You should come with us, he’s a really sweet guy and I’m sure you guys will get along.”

Harry hesitates because he doesn’t want to intrude, but you know he eventually says yes because he doesn’t want you getting drinks with another guy alone.

When Harry arrives at the bar, you’re already seated next your coworker in one of the booths. He struts over and settles himself across from the two of you after introducing himself. You notice the way Harry’s brows knit together when he notices how close you’re sitting with the man next to you- so close that your elbow brushes up against the side of his arm whenever you lean in to speak- and you smirk at him and proceed to order a round of shots.

Harry can’t deny that your coworker is handsome, but he also can’t deny thinking that you should be sitting next to him in the booth and not next to some bloke who works in the IT department, especially in the tipsy state that you’re in.

You laugh a bit too loudly than you intend to when your coworker cracks a joke, and you look over to where Harry is staring daggers at you.

“Isn’t he just so funny?”

“Quite funny,” Harry replies to you through gritted teeth, and you proceed to hook your arm over the man’s shoulders.

At this point Harry seems to have snapped.

“Wow, just look at the time,” Harry says before he stands up from his seat to come around to your side and tug at your arm.

You whine as Harry drags you out of the booth and grabs your purse from the table.

“We should leave, you know,” Harry looks at you and you feel him give your arm a light squeeze. “Before we’re late for that thing.”

Before your coworker can ask what thing, Harry’s leading you out of the bar and down the street in the direction of your apartment. You walk with Harry in silence for about two blocks before you start to worry. Of all the times you’ve upset him, he’s never given you the silent treatment before. Maybe this time you’ve really done it.

When the two of you get to a less busy part of the street, you pull Harry’s arm to stop him from walking.

“That was quite rude to leave my coworker there all of the sudden, don’t you think?”

“He likes you, you know that right? I didn’t think you’d be naive enough to let it get past you.” You expected to hear the annoyance in Harry’s voice, but the slight jab of his words catches you by surprise.

“I don’t want anything to happen. Not with him.”

“So you’re just going to openly flirt with some bloke right in front of me?”

“To be fair, you started it when you were flirting with the new producer last week. This was only a joke.”

Harry lets out an exasperated sigh. “Don’t joke around like that,” he says under his breath.

You feel a pang of guilt before you take a step closer to Harry and reach for his hand.

“I like you,” you remind him and he moves his fingers to lace them in between yours. “And if I want you, then you don’t need to worry about who wants me, alright?”

There’s a time and place for everything, and while you and Harry have individual things to work out before jumping into a relationship with each other, the feelings are definitely there, and Harry doesn’t ever hesitate when it comes to telling you he’d wait forever for you.

“Just don’t gets drinks with guys like him anymore,” Harry scrunches his nose at the mention of your coworker.

“No more games,” You promise. “Now let’s go back to mine so we can watch a rom com or something.”

anonymous asked:

What's your favourite J2 moment? ( I'm new so I'm trying to catch up )

Hi anon! No worries, I’m actually fairly new to the J2 community (specifically the tinhat one) but I jumped in both feet first and never looked back. As for my favorite moment…well, I recently made a post here (actually answering an ask from the lovely @legacies-j2) about how Jared and Jensen are made for it each other, and I added quite a few of my favorite moments in that one.

I’m trying to think of something new to add, because there are a lot of “obvious” moments that have been featured prominently over the years as Ultimate J2 Moments (like the almost-kiss on the red carpet). But you can find those easily. (I have two J2 tags, the regular one and the tinhat one, if you’re interested.)

I really like the gag reels because, even though they’re edited, I feel like we get a glimpse of how the Js are together for real, without critics and fans and people with certain (crappy, unfair) expectations keeping watch on them (like at cons), so they are not putting up any type of facade.

So some of my favorite gag reel moments are these…

Major hearteyes in the season 2 gag reel

Then again in season 7

And season 10

When they do something like this and everyone lost their collective shit:

(from the season 8 gag reel)

And then this moment from the season 10 gag reel:

The guest actor had accidentally drooled while she was talking on one of the previous takes, so during this one the Js messed with her by drooling back. I honestly believe that they did not plan this or talk about it or anything; that’s how in sync they are, and I love seeing little stuff like that which really drives home their closeness and like-mindedness.

There are also cute little moments like this:

(I don’t know what that is from, sorry)

And then this moment from the season 1 video of A Day In the Life:

This was filmed the day before Jensen’s birthday, and Jensen was talking about the director’s viewfinder that Jared had gotten him for his birthday. If you believe tinhat lore, this is round about the time when they got serious about their relationship, and in this moment it looks like Jensen just wants to lean over to Jared and kiss him, but has to settle for a hand on the should and a pat on the chest. It’s so sweet but also a little heartbreaking, that already they were trying to hold back on showing their feelings to the public.

There are also four photos that absolutely kill me every time I see them. Three are from this photoshoot:

Like, I still don’t know what the hell is even happening here?! (I know it was a 2016 photoshoot for Rogue Magazine), but it’s like…it’s like heartbreaking meets erotica meets real-life husbands? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we have the photos. But seriously, they are killing me.

The other photo that makes my heart skip a beat every time I see it is this one:

When they went to Aspen together in 2015/2016 (for New Years, I believe. Someone correct me if I’m wrong). No joke, that is the most couple-y, loved-up, married husbands photo I have ever seen. And I don’t mean that I have ever seen from the Js. I mean that I have ever seen ever.

So those are some of my favorite moments, anon. I was going to try and make my answer short and sweet but it seems that, when it comes to Jared and Jensen, I can never do short. (It’s always sweet, though <3)

Thanks for the ask, bby! Have a wonderful and J2-filled night!

A Father-Daughter Dance // A Phan One-Shot

Genre: family fluff, parent!phan

Words: 3.8k

Relationship status: married

Warnings: implied homophobia 

Summary: Izzy’s class is holding a Father-Daughter Dance. However, there’s a bit of an issue – Izzy has two dads.

A/N: Yes, I know it’s Mother’s Day here in America, but I really wanted to post a story today, so…yeah lol it’s what I had next to be posted, so…we’re just going to roll with it. 

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anonymous asked:

Um hi... sorry I'm rather new to this fandom and I'm also very awkward; If requests are open... could you possibly do RFA + Minor, getting very sick (not like deadly sick) and MC attempting to take care of them? If not I get it; Thank you anyways^^

Oh yeah I forgot this blog was for writing 
-After after endings- 
~Mod L 

Yoosung 
♡ Thankfully he was a bit more mature than when you first met him so that when Seven told him he had a month left to live he didn’t believe him
♡ Or at least didn’t believe him for very long 
♡ He was a bit sheepish when he asked you for help to take care of him, but he wanted you there for him 
♡ And thank god he did because he got sicker than he thought he would’ve 
♡ He has grown up a lot, but couldn’t help but become a bit immature when he was sick 
♡ The last time he got this sick was when he was a kid, so he couldn’t help but fall back into that when he was sick again 
♡ Which meant he complained about how sick he felt, and he needed a lot of attention
♡ You happily took care of him, and he was so grateful you did 
♡ He joked once about how backwards it was from his work, with him now being on the receiving end of care 
♡ But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t secretly enjoyed you taking care of him 
♡ Once he was all better he was a bit ashamed of how much he whined but you reassured him it was okay 
♡ He took you out to a very lovely dinner as soon as he could to say both thank you and he’s sorry for how he acted

Zen 
♡ He insists you don’t have to help him 
♡ He’ll be all happy and healthy within the week!
♡ But that doesn’t change the fact that right now he’s worst than he is around Elizabeth the 3rd
♡ He’s not amused when you say that
♡ Despite being sick he’ll still try to do things, like go out or if he has a role practice 
♡ You basically have to monitor him all the time to make sure he actually rests 
♡ You make his living room a small cozy sick haven for him 
♡ There’s plenty of blankets, cold medicine, tea, and anything else he’d want 
♡ And you!
♡ Once you have this all made up he’s much more wiling to relax 
♡ He tries to say it’s not because he’s sick but because it’s to spend time with you 
♡ He doesn’t even believe it himself but he’ll say it anyways 
♡ Once he’s all better he’ll thank you for taking care of you, even when he was so stubborn 

Jaehee 
♡ She’s used to taking care of others, so it’s strange for her to need someone else’s help so much 
♡ But she is so thankful you’re there for her 
♡ She’ll try to work while sick, or feel guilty that you can’t watch the cafe because you’re watching over her 
♡ You reassure her that you have plenty of talented staff and not to worry 
♡ To make her stop stressing you have to put on some of Zen’s movies 
♡ While she’s watching you brewed her some tea and joined her while watching 
♡ You picked up on some of her maternal habits so you always had fresh, washed blankets, rags to cool her head, medicine right on the second she was suppose to take them 
♡ She hated being sick, but being with you and with how much you cared for her made it bearable
♡ She was impressed and so grateful 
♡ She made a mental note to treat you to a very nice dinner once she was all better to thank you for everything you did for her  

Jumin
♡ When his doctor told him he couldn’t do anything but take some antibiotics and wait, he was a bit grumpy 
♡ He had a job to do, a very important one, and didn’t like that he couldn’t do anything to speed up the process
♡ All he could do was stay in his penthouse, with his doctor coming over to check on him just twice a day 
♡ He considered having someone there more often to monitor him but then you told him you would absolutely be there 
♡ Knowing you were there calmed him down a bit 
♡ He almost never got sick, and was shocked he was now 
♡ The first day of taking care of him was really just trying to get him to be less grumpy 
♡ But after that day he felt less grumpy and more thankful for you being there 
♡ And a little guilty about being so pouty when you were taking care of him
♡ He accepted that he was sick and couldn’t do anything about it but relax and wait 
♡ While you were taking care of him he tried to get a nurse to help you since you shouldn’t be doing all this by yourself
♡ You tried to insist you were fine, but just had to hide his phone from him while he took a nap 
♡ His doctor said his sickness healed at a fairly normal rate, but his morale was surprisingly high for someone so sick 
♡ It was unsurprisingly thanks to you, and he buys you about 100 thank you gifts once he’s better 

Seven
♡ He’s so dramatic 
♡ “Babe!! I googled what’s going on. I think I only have a few days left. Tell my children I love them”.
♡ He was referring to his cars 
♡ You weren’t amused and that made him laugh really hard, which made him cough even harder 
♡ While you were taking care of him it was hard to judge how sick he was because of all his jokes
♡ You knew he didn’t have two days before his face would melt away but he kept saying it and it distracted you from actually finding the problem 
♡ Thankfully Vanderwood went out and bought him the right medicine then left as quickly as he could 
♡ Seven felt miserable on the inside so he couldn’t stop joking around hoping it would make it better 
♡ But every laugh turned into a cough 
♡ For once you were able to convince him to just relax and quit messing around, and he reluctantly obliged 
♡ He laid back on his couch, and you brought him a light blanket, a pillow, a rag to cool his head, and something warm to drink with his medicine dissolved in it 
♡ He realizes relaxing with you taking care of him is heaven, and doesn’t try to keep joking around until he gets better

Saeran 
♡ He was the most stubborn that he wasn’t sick 
♡ With how he grew up he thought if he was sick that meant he was weak, and he never wanted to be seen as weak. Especially not to you
♡ But the more sick he got the more you tried to help him
♡ It lead into an argument between you two 
♡ You knew he needed to rest and wanted to take care of him, but he refused your help 
♡ During the argument he nearly fainted, and you immediately had your arms around him to help him steady himself
♡ That moment helped him realize how sick he was, and that he needed your help 
♡ He begrudgingly accepted it, and at first was still hesitant to accept your help 
♡ Once he was finally able to relax and let you properly take care of him he realized how tired he was 
♡ He fell asleep within ten minutes, and woke up still sick but with a higher morale 
♡ He let you take care of him without resisting anymore
♡ The sickness was making him feel terrible, but he couldn’t even imagine how much worst it would’ve been had he not let you help him
♡ He trusted you, despite fighting with you earlier, and was able to fully relax in your care
♡ After he recovered he apologized for how he acted towards you, which was fairly rare for him 
♡ But he was so thankful for what you did, and even while having problems fully expressing himself he wanted you to know that

V
♡ He’s a bit embarrassed 
♡ All of your guys’ relationship is turning into you taking care of him 
♡ When he first starts to get sick he’s in strong denial and tries to hide it the best he can 
♡ It doesn’t work at all 
♡ It was especially evident when you came home from the store and he was passed out on the couch sweating 
♡ You had to wake him up to get him to change into more comfortable clothes, as you could tell he’s gonna be there for a while
♡ As much as he wanted to insist he was okay, he knew he wasn’t and decided to just accept your help 
♡ When he was drifting in and out of sleep he thought about how thankful he was for you
♡ You loved him so unconditionally, and you took such good care of him 
♡ He says he doesn’t remember this, which is believable for how sick he got, but once he woke up, saw you getting his medicine ready, and asked you if you were an angle 
♡ But he was convinced you were a literal angle for about five minutes before falling back asleep 
♡ Once he was better and you told him about it, he was a bit embarrassed 
♡ “Can you blame me? Now that I’m really thinking about it you might seriously be one~”  

Vanderwood
♡ He was pretty good at taking care of people, despite his typical adversity to it 
♡ So once he started to get sick he knew what was wrong, and what kind of medicine to get himself to feel better and so on 
♡ But he was taken aback when you insisted on getting all this for him, and then taking proper care of him
♡ The only other person he had was Seven, and due to their work he always had to keep a certain amount of distance with him
♡ So having someone who’s close to him and taking care of him because they just had genuine feelings for him was strange 
♡ But he loved it 
♡ It was so nice having someone take care of him for a change, and so he readily accepted any help you were willing to give 
♡ He was also impressed by how well you helped him
♡ Even through him being sick, falling in and out of sleep, and occasionally being grumpy you stuck with him and took good care of him 
♡ He was so grateful for you, and loved every second of attention he got 
♡ Even once he said “If you’re always going to be this good to me I should get sick more often” 

That's My Spot

(Jughead x Reader)

Summary: You and Jughead constantly bicker. Everyone knows the two of you don’t mix. What will happen when your friends find out you’ve been crushing on your rival?

Word Count: 1,539

Warnings: Swearing (I mean, what did you expect?), Beronica(?)

A/N: I finally wrote something! I’m so sorry it took so long, writers block has been kicking my ass. But I’m back! There’s obviously going to be a second part to this, but it’s almost 2am and this is getting really long so I didn’t want to add too much. Sorry for the crappy ending. (Also i know this seems really similar to What Just Happened but it won’t be I promise!) PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MADE ANY MISTAKES, IT’S LATE AND I’M WAY TOO TIRED TO PROOF READ.

Part Two

Originally posted by jenzig

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Misunderstood

(kinda) Jealous!Dean x Reader

Summary: A fun night over at a stranger’s house leads to an argument with Dean, who doesn’t understand the world anymore.

Warnings: cursing?, mentioning of doing the do,

I tried.


“Where’s Y/n?”

Sam gulped down the rest of his beer, watching his slightly intoxicated brother.

“She left.”

“Left? Where to?”

Dean turned his head almost comically a few times, swaying with the motion. Confusion filled his green eyes glazed with dooming understanding.

“Don’t know. But she left with some fella.”

The man had been tall, with bronze sun-kissed skin and shaggy brown hair, a muscular build and a winning smile. No wonder their dearest Y/n had been charmed by him. The entire evening their hunting companion had spent chatting and flirting with the handsome hunk, exchanging saucy looks and coquettish winks. It took no genius to deduce that little Y/n was all grown-up and spending the night somewhere else.

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