has somebody thought of this yet or

I just find it amusing that nobody close to Camila has yet dared call her Camz. It’s still either Mila or Mimi or idk what else but it’s not Camz. It’s like there’s an unspoken understanding that the nickname “Camz” has been patented by L, and then retired like Jordan’s #23 😂

Or is there somebody who isn’t Lauren calling her that? /p>


Originally posted by blessedcamren

all jokes aside, i’m actually really upset that f(x) has not had a comeback yet. After 4 walls came out I really thought things were going to change with how SM entertainment treated them because during that era they were promoted well, and there sells were pretty decent. It was the comeback everyone has been waiting for, especially MeU’s with sullis departure and rumors of a group breakup. For some reason I thought finally getting a concert and fandom name, what f(x) fans have been asking so so long, would mean that they would promote more BUT HERE WE FUCKING ARE 2 YEARS LATER AND NO F(X) COMEBACK. 

honestly the way SM treats the members of F(X) is so upsetting as well. WHERE IS KRYSTALS COMEBACK WE WERE PROMISED??? Why wasn’t amber, krystal and vic in SM TOWN  LIVE in seoul last night? WHY HAS SM NOT LET AMBER PROMOTE SOLO YET?? and DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LUNAS FREE SOMEBODY PROMOTIONS, like sm didnt even bother trying.

 MeU’s are some of the most dedicated die hard fans in the kpop sphere and honestly sm is testing not only us but f(x) as well. 

Your heart is hurting.
Somebody has wronged you- WE are sorry.
Something has brought you so down
that you wish to inflict your pain on others
because it’s too much for you to take, alone-
WE are sorry.

Sitting on your couch wearing shades
while you spread black ink to people
who don’t deserve the hate

won’t make things right.

You’ll go to bed tonight
and the feelings will keep crawling on your skin
because you haven’t faced them just yet.

So leave your sexual, twisted thoughts in your mind- they’re not wanted.
Leave your negative criticism based on nothing,
at the door- it’s not wanted.
Leave your disdain for people who are loved and respected to yourself- it’s not wanted.

If you’re not asked, if you don’t have anything good to say,
just don’t say anything at all.

You wear a mask so it’s easy for you to bully others,
but why don’t you take it off and reach out?

More can be solved with love than you think possible.

Everyone deserves to be loved
everyone deserves to be respected
even if
you don’t feel this to be true
we are all

you are me as I am you

we must move forward
we can’t go back
yet, somewhere along the line
somehow got off track

WE are all
of this Earth
we ALL matter
no matter
what you may think you’re worth

WE must love and respect
each other

And YOU must find it
in your heart
to do both

Photography by: @inrumford
Poem by: @denmysterywoman & @inrumford

Never in a million years would I have thought that I’d meet somebody as perfect as you. Everything about you makes my heart leap out of my chest. My heart had been shattered beyond repair but when I met you, I felt as if I was never broken to begin with. I didn’t think I would ever fall for somebody again, but I have and let me tell you, I fell hard and unbelievably fast. Ever since we met, thoughts of you have consumed my mind. I find myself wondering what you’re doing without even realising that my mind has yet again wandered to you. When I catch myself doing so, my heart begins to beat rapidly and I can feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach. You’re so enchanting and darling, I hope I’ll always be under your spell. You’ve made me feel things that I never dreamed I could feel. When I speak with you, warmth spreads through my heart and a wave of happiness resonates within me. I long to be in the security of your arms and knowing me, I’d want to stay in them forever. My feelings for you are undeniable and with every day that passes without you knowing how I truly feel, the more unbearable it gets. You’ve made me happier than my words can express and for that, I can never thank you enough. You bring out the best in me and that, my love, is what made me realise how crazy I am for you. I’ve even began to have this unexplainable craving to be yours and for you to be mine. I constantly picture us together and the mere thought of it brings such joy to my heart. Everything about you makes me feel like I’m living in a fantasy. Your heavenly smile, your melodic voice, your angelic eyes, all of it is so captivating. I cannot explain how much I want to lie on your chest and hear your heart beating in sync with mine, to wake up next to you knowing I’m the luckiest woman ever, to cuddle with you and stay like that forever. I want to that person whom you cannot stop thinking about, that person whom you brag about to your friends, that person whom you love so dearly. I might be dreaming way too high but when it comes to you, I just cannot stop. I know that you may not feel as I do but that matters not to me. The only I care about is being with you, whether it’s as friend or as partners in crime. I cannot imagine my life without you being somewhere in it, and I hope I will never have to. I only ask that you consider giving me a chance to show you what we could be, to give you everything that I have, to love you like there’s no tomorrow, to show you the world hand in hand
—  Letters you’ll never receive #4 // S.T.

killzeteetans  asked:

Lol. Headcanon. I think Levi kinda wishes he wasn't the strongest, that somebody else could be it for him, so he could be peaceful. But yet, he hates the thought of somebody else being stronger, for he doesn't want anyone to go through the pain and guilt he has to have. I feel he might of talked of this to Isabel and farlan, then began to talk to Erwin and hanji about it, but more low key with Erwin and hanji.

Oh I like this

Hoshidan Festival: Beruka and Asugi Parent-Child Convo

I… honestly feel like Beruka is the mother that makes the most sense for Asugi. Mostly because I just really enjoyed Saizo and Beruka’s C support. But Asugi has a maturity that most of the other child units don’t have, so I feel like he’s a little more perceptive and that kind of chemistry between him and Beruka as his mother works really well. 

Also, it just seems canon that Beruka likes sweets, even if she doesn’t realize it herself. Some of the other conversations with her children in this DLC seem to indicate that she has a sweet tooth. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

why wouldn't you be excited for bts to win an award at the bbmas?

I didn’t say that I wasn’t excited, but here, let me explain it for you nice and clearly! I also just want to say that this is my personal opinion, you don’t have to agree, but please don’t message me about it if you don’t. I literally cannot be arsed to hear it.

One, I’m kind of feeling sad about them becoming so huge. Yes, I am tremendously proud and also amazed at how successful they are and how well received they are, but I just feel like KPOP in general is so huge now that liking it almost feels like a trend? It makes me very nervous about the future and the amount of “fans” who will like it simply to stay relevant. Every YouTuber who has done a “reacting to kpop” video has done it because they have 1) seen how well received they are, 2) they get more views which means more money, and 3) it’s so popular that it’s literally the only way they can stay relevant. Listen, Pointlessblog, if you want to make more money and you’re stuck on ideas on how to keep your fanbase of 12 year olds living, make another rip off Wreck it Journal. 

BTS going to the BBMA’s and winning an award is amazing and I’m very proud of their success, don’t get me wrong.

Two, they will obviously receive a lot of attention at the BBMA’s. I don’t want to be seeing celebrities bandwagon on BTS (and KPOP) for the attention and relevance. Of course, if they genuinely enjoy the music, then go for it. I mean, we all saw how White Devil™ Chloe Mozzarella-sticks tried to fit in with KPOP for a while…now we’ve got Jaden Smith meeting Sehun once and thinking he can make a debut as a Korean idol….and then you have the mess that is EXP, doin as (most) whites do, ruining everything. I just want BTS to be praised for their music and talents, and not bandwagoned because of their success and name and also, this is an occurrence, good looks? I see a lot of YouTubers + celebrities suddenly only stanning because they are sexy or attractive. Yes, obviously, I think they are all attractive men but I don’t like them just for their faces; believe it or not ya girl has been listening for a while and I actually didn’t care about the members that much when I first listened and only liked their music. But, go off I guess.

Three, it’s overhyped. I see BTS fans trying to add the hashtag everywhere- I literally saw somebody hashtag #BTSBBMAS or whatever in the VOTING HASHTAG that Korean citizens used to show that they voted for their newest President- something that is so so important in South Korea and yet fans were trying to use that hashtag (probably not knowing what it meant, but they just saw the Hangul and thought nothing more) to promote BTS. Like, first of all, you don’t need to put the hashtag in every single tweet you make, and also just use the hashtag appropriately? Like, uh, oh I don’t know, NOT in a hashtag that is so important and literally has NOTHING to do with BTS? But whatever.

Four, I guess I’m just jealous. My ass gonna be crying in the UK meanwhile Kendall Jenner will try to take a sneaky pic with my boo Hoseok. Not ready for it. (Don’t know if she’s actually going or not, just used her as an example, lol)

And five, I literally just do not give a single flying fuck about the BBMAS. I don’t listen to western music enough to care about the other people attending, and I literally had no idea it existed until BTS were nominated. The BBMA’s are only “relevant” to me now just because my boos are nominated. Case closed.

'Thor: Ragnarok' Director Taika Waititi to Portray Korg in Film
The character is out of the ‘Planet Hulk’ comic storyline that the film is adapting

As evidenced in the record-breaking trailer for Thor: Ragnarok, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) will be reunited with his old friend Hulk (Mark Ruffalo). But, during his layover on Sakaar, he’ll also make a new friend who just happens to be portrayed by Hemsworth’s boss.

Director Taika Waititi has made a habit of appearing in his films and even had a role in DC’s Green Lantern, so he always knew he would work his way into his upcoming superhero film. Yet, he didn’t originally plan on playing Korg, an 8-foot-tall rock creature straight out of Marvel’s “Planet Hulk” comic storyline.

Obviously, being made of rocks, we wanted somebody like The Rock to play him, but there wasn’t enough chicken or salmon in Australia to sustain he and Chris,” joked Waititi at a Monday press event at Marvel’s Los Angeles office. “I never thought I’d be playing the most lovable character in the film.”

Lovable is an interesting adjective for a literal mountain creature and part of the Kronan race, one of which Thor memorably took down in the opening of Thor: The Dark World. But Waititi set out to defy expectations and create a character who is the opposite of what he appears.

“We wanted to change the idea of what a hulking guy made of rocks could be,” he shared. “He’s huge and heavy, but with a light soul. We wanted to make him funny and a relatable entry point into this world. And Thor needs friends.”

As evidenced in a scene screened of Korg and Thor’s first meeting, Waititi’s character will be both an ally and a fan favorite. Also forced to fight in the Grandmaster’s (Jeff Goldblum) gladiator duels, Korg reveals to his new friend why he’s a prisoner. “I tried to start a revolution, but I didn’t bring enough pamphlets,” he charmingly says.

Having already buddied up to Thor and given the Asgardian a fun nickname, will Watiti’s next move to start angling for Korg to find himself a place among the Avengers?

“I’ll lobby for anything,” he jokes. “My ego’s that big.”

anonymous asked:

Thanks for your reply! It was so on point, I agree with everything. It's curious many people don't see it this way. Hide has also done very ambiguous things, it's like he's willing to go to extremes but only for Kaneki or himself. He's not perfect, just like nobody in TG is. And I agree with the loneliness too. There's no proof yet, but I think it's possible he had a bad family situation, just like Kaneki, and that's why he seeked him out, because he could relate. I thought this because I 1/2

Remembered Eto telling Hinami when manipulating her to join Aogiri that somebody like her, who’s been loved her entire life, couldn’t understand Kaneki and his need for affection. And Hide and Kaneki share some personality traits, though they manifest them differently (as you said, they’re closed up and don’t trust easily). Who knows tho, I can be completely wrong lol 2/2            

I’m glad it appears to have been pleasant for you \(^-^)/

As much as I often find myself complaining about the lack of content we get of Hide in the manga, i rly like going through the little there is, to observe and theorize and get an own opinion of him instead of wanting to see a certain aspect of him
- a personal favourite of mine is actually chapter 118 his conversation with Touka and his interactions with the CCG people because I think those havent been talked enough about yet imo, everyone focusing on his relationship with Kaneki and as much as im a shipper my first interest is still Hide himself on any day :)

And yeah I totally agree actually with your suspiscion mostly its this part on one of the calendar pages that got me into theorizing and looking out for hints of a troubled childhood of Hide (and rly there are some haha)

Its a piece of Hides POV likely from their elemantary days and lets just take this in what it is telling us. Hide as a child already recognizes manipulative behaviour, and that their teacher in his opinion is taking advantage of it just because. That Hide thinks adults treat children like toys. I dont think we can simply write this off as his intellect or emotional intellgence, it seems pretty premature and such a thing imo happens when theres a need for it.

Thats certaintly not an introspection from a child with a good childhood, my thoughts so far are that whoever took care of Hide or coined Hide into this mindset was a manipulator, which also shows imo in Hide, in his behaviour for example with Kanekis aunt who also behaved abusive to Kaneki, not physically but she just went and threw his books away despite how much she new Kaneki treasured those. Hide showed no second of hesitation to put her back into place through blackmail and manipulating her.

So yeah theres more and I’m pretty convinced so far that Hide had a bad situation in his childhood and can therefore relate to Kaneki.


Last night there was a terrorist attack in Manchester, UK. It’s horrible to think how close the terrorists attacks are hitting people, as I live around an hour away from Manchester and although I personally wasn’t there, it’s hit home quite hard as I have enjoyed many concerts in the stadium, and it makes you think about life and not take it for granted.

A huge amount of young children, teenagers and adults attended the concert and as of yet it has been confirmed that 22 people died, and one of those confirmed deaths was a girl around my age, who enjoyed the same youtubers and music artists as myself.

I know it’s no consolation as to what’s gone on, but my thoughts and prayers are with ALL who have been affected

Although I wasn’t there my blog is open to anybody who needs somebody to support them at this horrible time.

Pray for Manchester, and for all those affected. You’re in my thoughts x

Klaine Summer Challenge 2017 Day 1: Here Come The Sun 

Word Count: 1,100

Blaine, age nine, moves to Lima and meets his next door neighbor. (AO3)

“Blaine honey, I wish you’d look on the bright side of things,” Pam says, unlocking the front door of their new house.

“But all my friends are at home!” Her son cries, lugging a suitcase behind him.

This is our new home Honeybee,” she replies with a smile.

Keep reading

The LGBT community is soooo toxic.

Why do all of you hate straight people so much? You want them not to judge you for your sexuality, yet you judge them for it! If somebody doesn’t like a gay ship, they’re homophobic. I just read a post where this guy was following a Gency blog and he said he didn’t want to see McGenji and Mchanzo on it. Somebody reposted these and said in the tags “I don’t care if a homophobe kills themselves” you don’t even know if they do or don’t support LGBT people or if they’re LGBT themselves. I’m following this guy on Instagram and he has said he was gay on multiple occasions, it wasn’t some big secret. He said he thought the LGBT community was toxic and he got called straight and homophobic yet he’s gay???? I’m bisexual and I’m fucking ashamed to be because of how the fucking community is!

anonymous asked:

I think that anon may have misinterpreted something. From any articles about b*rchie and bughead, they never explicitly say b*rchie will not happen nor that bughead will be endgame. But isn't that what any writer with half a brain would do? Confirming things like couples that a lot of fans are invested in may bring in viewers & lose many as well. Shipping is also a will they/won't they thing and confirming a couple will be endgame makes people feel less invested. Anyways wouldn't worry about RAS

that’s true. writers (on any show) typically avoid ruling out any ships, even if they have no plans to go there. i’m pretty sure when asked about b*ronica at wondercon, RAS said something like “anything could happen.” i think after everything that’s happened, it’s pretty clear that romantic b&v isn’t ever going to be canon; and yet he still didn’t fully shut it down 

i also like to look past just what RAS is saying. i mean, obviously he’s the one with the most knowledge about where they’re going– but it sounds like the actors are pretty informed too. it’s been said by a few of them that the writers (especially RAS) really collaborate with them and listen to their ideas and opinions. maybe a lot more so than other shows. a few examples: bringing hot dog on the show (and cole insisting he needed to be a sheep dog), lili suggesting jughead kiss betty’s hands in ep 10, lili and cole coming to the director and fighting for the bughead walking through the cemetery scene not be cut from the finale, lili telling RAS she wanted to address betty’s mental health issues more in season 2, and lili and cole wanting to add conflict to betty and jughead’s relationship to make it more realistic and keep it from being one dimensional. lili and cole have both mentioned meeting with RAS a couple times to discuss betty and jughead’s relationship; lili also said that while she didn’t know that bughead’s first kiss was going to be in episode 6, she had known that they were going to be love interests. i also know that the actors have all met with the writers to discuss their characters’ storylines for season 2. so while they obviously don’t know specifics since they haven’t started filming yet, i feel like they might have a general idea of what’s coming. with that in mind


  • said she once believed that b*rchie was going to be endgame, but now isn’t so sure
  • when told kj said he thought betty and archie were going to be endgame replied with she thinks kj was told b&a were endgame when he first signed on and has clung to that and he thinks that’s what’s right 
  • stated that she believes bughead and varchie can co-exist, and almost seemed offended when somebody implied betty had to be jealous 
  • said “i think betty is smooth sailing with jughead and isn’t confused about her feelings” 
  • wants betty and jughead to pull through as long as they keep making each other happy; also said she wants betty to end up with whoever makes her happiest 


  • said she thought the BAV triangle was always going to be there, maybe not as a focus, but as a nod to the comics 
  • this is a change from an interview i read by her a few months ago where she said she thought they were building to the BAV triangle 


  • has in the past said he thought that b*rchie was endgame 
  • several times said the triangle was coming back in certain episodes (which it then didn’t); he said the JBA triangle was a romantic one when everybody else said it was a friendship triangle (which it did turn out to be a friendship one) 
  • but there seemed to be a slight shift in his answers at paleyfest (which was after they’d met with the writers to discuss season 2) 
  • he said that veronica has been it for archie since their first meeting
  • when asked who he thought had the most potential to get archie settled down, he said veronica 
  • when asked about if he thought fans were still rooting for romantic b*rchie, he said that he thought they were the most iconic type of relationship– but then also went on to say, “It seems like the fans are loving what’s going on between Betty and Jughead and Archie and Veronica. I think there’s definitely potential for those relationships to last quite a long time.” 


  • for me, his shift was the most remarkable. i’ve said it before, but i’ve always gotten the feeling that he wasn’t huge on bughead. he’s a comic purest, so he liked b*rchie and woman hating jughead. i mean, he’s said nice things about them in the past, but i still always got the vibe that it wasn’t really what he wanted. even if he could see the beauty in their relationship and respected that 
  • it didn’t quite feel like that at paleyfest, though. he did say he thought they were going to return to the BAV triangle because it’s such a huge part of the comics– but he also said that he wanted bughead to end up together. “I want them to have a happily ever after if it’s honest and real. If they can comfort each other in a storm of shit that seems to be hitting them at light-speed, that’s what I want.“ 
  • he was also asked what his favorite part of playing jughead was and he gave two reasons; one of which was his dynamic with betty. that really surprised me. 
  • i don’t really know why, but his answers and attitude at paleyfest (which, again, was after he’d met with RAS to talk about season 2) made me feel like he knew they were still very much going to be a thing in season 2 

but these are just loose observations. for all i know the actors have no idea what’s going to happen to bughead and varchie or if the writers plan on sticking with them 

McCartney—Once Through the Charm

Tammy Hitchcock, KRLA Beat, 17 June 1967

Labels seem to be essential in the music business. The powers-that-be dictate that an entertainer is not truly successful until he has been labeled. Thus we find one Paul McCartney, “the charming Beatle.“

It was often said of McCartney that if he hadn’t been an entertainer he probably would have been a politician since he could be relied upon to say the right things at the right time, soothe the ruffled feelings caused by his not-quite-so-tactful cohort, John Lennon, and to smile, smile, smile.

There is no question about it—Paul has a cunning way with words. Asked if the Stones are more popular than the Beatles, McCartney lifted a questioning eyebrow: “Are they? I don’t think so. I wouldn’t like to say who is more popular. The Stones have got their publicity agent and we’ve got ours. It’s up to you who you believe. The Stones are good lads and I don’t want people to think that it’ll come to us sticking our tongues out at each other like school kids.”

At the very beginning when adults were blaming the Beatles for their son’s stubborn resistance to the barber’s shears. Paul announced that the Beatles didn’t have any responsibility whatsoever to their fans. “It would probably be a nicer answer if I said yes we have a responsibility to fans, but I can’t be noble for the sake of it.”

The Beatles had no sooner landed in America for their first visit than a nationally-syndicated columnist broke the Jane Asher/Paul McCartney romance and the rumors have haunted Paul to this day. Every reporter asked the same question of McCartney: “Are you married or planning to marry Jane Asher?” He smiled and bore the monotonous questioning until finally he was fed up. “I’ve no plans but everybody keeps saying I have. Maybe they know better. They say I’m married and divorced and have 50 kids—so you might as well say it too.” 

McCartney’s “charming” label became a drag as time went on and he concentrated more on saying what he felt rather than what others wanted him to say. He disliked the protest song movement intensely and said so. "They make me concentrate too much on the lyric—which I don’t like.

"I think Barry McGuire’s ‘Eve Of Destruction’ is rubbish. And when I first heard it I thought it was bad. When I saw McGuire in person leaping around in those boots and growling, I just fell about!

“The Manfreds did a protest number on television which was the end. It was so bad they must have written it themselves.”

But to say that Paul completely gave up being “the charming Beatle” would be a lie. He was as charming as he’d ever been—only quite a bit more frank and a little more outspoken.

In 1965 the Beatles turned-down an invitation to appear before the Queen at the Royal Variety Show in London and it was Paul who explained the group’s decision to the press. “It’s not our audience. If we went on and those people didn’t like us everyone would say, ‘ha, ha, the Beatles failed, they’re on the slide’.”

His sense of humor he kept intact: his ability to laugh at himself, at the Beatles and at the world, no doubt, saw him through some pretty rough times. Walter Shensen tells one of the funniest stories about McCartney.

It seems that once Paul approached Shensen with a newspaper review from one of the London papers. “I don’t think it’s fair,” moaned McCartney. “This chap says we’re boorish. That’s the one thing we’re not—we never bore.’’ Shensen explained that "boorish” does not mean “boring” it means “uncouth.” "Oh, uncouth,” said the relieved Paul. “Well, I think that’s fair enough!’’

The deafening waves of screams which traditionally accompany a Beatle concert received much notice in the press. Reporters demanded to know how the Beatles I felt about performing amid the noise.

And it was Paul who answered:

“The fans pay their money to come in and if they want to scream then that’s their perogative. We don’t mind if they scream. Why should we?

"The only thing that counts is that they are having a good time for their money. Anyway, five years ago we were playing without the screams and, friend, it wasn’t half as nice. I mean, the bread is important too, you know.’’

Although it was Lennon who received the attention for making How I Won the War, it was McCartney who first left the group to try his hand alone. He wrote "Woman’’ for Peter and Gordon, but asked that a pen name be used rather than his real name. His idea worked—for awhile.

"I knew someone would find out the truth sooner or later,” said Paul, “but I’m glad the story didn’t leak out until after ‘Woman* had become a hit in Britain and America. I hate to read record reviews which say that so-and-so will have a hit just because a Beatle number is involved. It’s not fair on the artists concerned.

"Anyway, my idea worked. Incidentally. this is the only song I’ve published under a pen name. I don’t plan to repeat the idea … well, not at the moment, anyway!" 

Keeps Cool
Paul is well-noted for his cool. It’s amazing how he keeps it when people ask sonic of the most ridiculous questions imaginable. An "image” is manufactured by a press agent and the press itself. It often times has nothing to do with what entertainers arc really like. Yet during the summer of ’66 a reporter stood himself up and asked Paul to explain the Beatles’ image.

“I don’t know,” snapped the hard-to-irritate McCartney. “Our image is what we read in the papers. You people make up our image. We know what our real image, is and it’s nothing like ‘image’.”

McCartney once said: *I’m always pleased when somebody has a hit with one of our songs—it’s almost as good as us doing it.“ Yet, a rather well-informed reporter wanted to know what Paul thought of other artists "stealing” the Beatles’ material.

Don’t Steal
“They don’t steal them,” fired back Paul. “No, I know they don’t,” replied the reporter. “But you just said they did,” countered Paul, "and besides, we pinch just as much as the rest of’em.”

The Beatles will never tour America again. The press will never have the opportunity to try their hand at making Beatles squirm. But, undoubtedly. McCartney will continue to look through his charm and allow the world an occasional glimpse of what goes on inside his mind.

anonymous asked:

JJ has a high fever and spills all his secrets about how he just wants people to like him and he's crying and all the skaters rlly feel bad for shunning him

If anybody had thought that last year’s banquet has been bad. they had yet to see the situation at hand at this very moment. Last year, between the drunken Yuuri, delighted Viktor and annoyed Yuri, it had been the media’s absolute field day. But this? This was definitely something else. 

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All idols have feet of clay

I was thinking the other day that I should probably write more about my life here, since every photo I take has some kind of a story behind it. I guess I have had a gazillion different kinds of blogs during my lifetime, so I have mostly kept this place just filling up with photos. I’ve also been awfully busy living my life but lately I feel that it will just slip through my fingers if I don’t write anything down. During my first year in London (ca 3 years ago) I would fill up lots of diaries, draw and paint a lot, go running in the park and go out in the evenings A LOT. But then I started working and was also trying to juggle coursework on top of it, so I sort of lost myself within all that. And the only real creative aspect I focused on was photography, with the occasional poem here and there. 

On Saturday I went back to Greenwich and Blackheath and felt this flow of memories roll over me. I always get slightly nostalgic when I go to Greenwich Park since I used to go running there almost every morning. 

This is how it would normally look like. Not even kidding.

Then at some point I decided to move on the other side of town, right next to Wembley Stadium and I am still not sure why. This area has such a strange vibe but in a way I enjoy the feeling that it is not fully developed yet, that there are these cool super cheap Caribbean food places and really cheap shops. Every now and then somebody also gets stabbed around this area, but most of the time it’s pretty safe. Weirdly, I am starting to become nostalgic even about this area. Never would have thought. It’s lovely in its roughness.

Sunrise with fog.

I feel like I am living a double life since I work in East London and take this hour long commute every morning. If I’m lucky enough to get a seat I actually quite like it. I tend to read something or just prepare myself for a day of communication. I’m a bit grumpy in the mornings and tend to avoid conversation. It’s awkward enough being crammed together on the train.

East London on the other hand is so vibrant and full of life and wonder that it never stops to amaze me.

These are all taken around the Brick Lane area. 

 And now I feel that the end of an era is approaching since I plan to pack all my stuff (send most of it to Estonia). Stay back home for a few weeks. And then move to Holland. I’m not sure for how long, but I will probably have to change the subtle title of this blog. I always felt that calling myself a photographer will sound slightly pretentious, but yeah it seemed just more coherent. I could also call myself a Poet (NOT pretentious at all) or an Ethnologist or Folklorist or Psychologist or Wanderer or Miss Lost Marbles, but all that would sound a bit untrue. I guess I have all that layered up inside me and I am just looking for my place in the world. I am working on a Poetry book though. I have some plans in the field of Visual Anthropology. Plus I’ve definitely lost my marbles. Oh and there might be an Photography Exhibition too. But at the same time I have this silly finno-ugric feel, that I should not say too much to not jinx it all.

All I really think about lately is my island summer home and how I want to lay between juniper bushes and not think of anything at all.

I mean look at it. This place has pretty much shaped my whole subconscious.

Recently, I’ve gotten a lot of asks asking me about my sexuality. I’ve kind of been avoiding answering those, but now I feel like it’s time to say something to avoid any further confusion.

Every time somebody has asked me on this blog what my sexual orientation was, I have said that I was bisexual. I thought that was what I was for a little over 2 years, but after some self reflection I realized that the way I felt towards boys wasn’t actually attraction. More than anything, it was forced.

Now, I’m trying to come to terms with being gay (I’m not quite comfortable using the L word yet. It’s silly, I know), and it’s kind of difficult because of dumb internal things I’m dealing with. So @ all the people who have sent in asks about my sexuality: this is why I haven’t answered. It’s completely fine that you guys asked. I just want you guys to know that my reason for ignoring your asks was not against you personally or anything like that.

I probably won’t say much more about this topic (unless you send me a private message) but I just wanted to explain a bit, since some of my recent posts have caused confusion.

(Aside—did you know that Robert Browning’s first book of poems didn’t sell one copy? True. Even his mother didn’t buy it at her local bookstore. Have you ever heard anything more humiliating? How would you like to have been Browning and it’s your first book and you have these secret hopes that now, now, you’ll be somebody. Established, Important. And you give it a week before you ask the publisher how things are going, because you don’t want to seem pushy or anything. And then maybe you drop by, and it was probably all very English and understated in those days, and you’re Browning and you chitchat around a bit, before you drop the biggie: ‘Oh, by the way, any notions yet on how my poems might be doing?’ And then his editor, who has been dreading this moment, probably says, ‘Well, you know how it is with poetry these days; nothing’s taking off like it used to, requires a bit of time for the word to get around.’ And then finally, somebody had to say it. ‘None, Bob. Sorry, Bob, no, we haven’t yet had one authenticated sale. We thought for a bit that Hatchards had a potential buyer down by Piccadilly, but it didn’t quite work out. Sorry, Bob; of course we’ll keep you posted in the event of a breakthrough.’ End of Aside.)
—  The Princess Bride (novel)
  • Noodle: hey Muds um I have a personal answerin' and I need to borrow the car
  • Murdoc: well, you can't drive without me yet and somebody's gonna stay here looking for no one to scape
  • Noodle: Murdoc, I have a personal errand....
  • Murdoc: what does that even mean, you're taking a hit out on somebody?
  • 2D: Murdoc she's monster-eating
  • Murdoc: what?
  • Noodle: I HAVE MY PERIOD
  • Murdoc: OH, I forgot you get those