has been flipped

[2]

I am so proud that Syaoran figured this out so quickly, without any outside help, and only using his own logic and recent memories to do it. THAT IS A BIG WIN. YOU GO SYAORAN. 

Though I also want to point out that he thought “I didn’t see any odd moves by Mokona”. 

And like. 

Syaoran have you met Mokona. 

BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I WON’T TAKE YOUR MOMENT OF VICTORY FROM YOU. 

LET’S JUST SEE IF HE TRIES TO PHYSICALLY JUMP BACK INSIDE IT LIKE WE ALL KNOW I WOULD. 

I mean. It’s not trying to jump into a small paper object BUT I’LL TAKE IT. 

Harry Watson, the invisible gay is now in plain sight

You know what? I stand by my speculation re: the real role Sian Brooke plays in Sherlock. She’s Harry Watson, the explicit unquestionable gay character since day one that remained invisible. But her physical self became visible in series 4 yet with many identities, all of which contributed to the reason the gay was hidden for so long. The switch has been flipped, we are just waiting for the fucking light to turn on. 

URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it’s sooooooo frustrating!!! I hate myself for repeating after Mary but can we please get on with it? Mofftiss what the fuck?

Choosing Recovery

This is a huge thing for me to admit so I hope you don’t think I’m lying when I say that choosing recovery is the BEST decision I have ever made. In just a couple of weeks my world has been flipped upside down.

• Now that I’m eating more it means that I’m not thinking about food 100% of the time which means that I have time to think about other things.
• I’ve been able to start catching up with schoolwork because my brain is now able to handle working in short bursts (15 mins work then 15 mins break usually).
• My exams start in just under 50 days and I actually think I’ll be able to sit them.
• My concentration is slowly getting better. I went to the cinema yesterday and was able to sit through a WHOLE FILM. WITHOUT MOVING.
• Not only did I go to the cinema, but I went to the cinema with my Nan, and our relationship is slowly but surely starting to improve now that I’m not lying to her about food all the time.
• I was bloated for two weeks straight because my body couldn’t digest food properly and continuing to increase was the last thing I wanted to do but you wanna know what happened when I increased some more? I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND BAM. NO BLOAT.
• ^ I still have a long way to go in terms of food but I’m getting there.
• I’m learning to accept that my scars are fading but I am not.
• I used to lie down in bed at night and every single one of my muscles would feel sore and achy but that’s more or less gone.
• I’ve also stopped feeling like I’m gonna faint every single time I stand up.
• My knuckles aren’t red and sore.
• It’s been sunny here in the UK for the past couple of weeks and I don’t want to say that it’s a sign or anything, but…
• My mood has improved so much.
• I’m talking to my mum a lot more and I feel like I’m getting to know an entirely new person.
• I’m proving so many people wrong.

If there’s even a tiny part of you that thinks you might someday possibly maybe want to attempt recovery then P L E A S E listen to it. Even if your illness is screaming and crying and fighting, that small voice is still there and worth paying attention to. It’s not easy. Trust me when I say that it’s not, but it’s worth it. You are beautiful and strong and inspiring and unique and you deserve every piece of happiness that this world has to offer. You’ve been put on this earth to do so much more than this. You’ve been put on this earth to do more than destroy yourself. I know that it’s scary. I know that the thought of your safety net being taken away terrifies you to no end and you don’t know how you could possibly live without your eating disorder, but trust me when I say that as long as you’re living with your eating disorder, you’re not living at all.

People think that living with an eating disorder is hard but I have to disagree. Living with an eating disorder is easy. You don’t have to worry about making decisions because it’s all set out for you. Your eating disorder literally gives you a step-by-step guide on how to live your life. What to wear, how to act, what to say, what to eat, who to be, and the list goes on. What’s not included in this guide is how to socialise, how to laugh, how to sing to your favourite song, how to dance in your underwear, how to travel or how to feel happiness and contentment. The guide strips you of all of this and what are you left with? Nothing. You’re literally left with nothing but misery.

I know that recovery is scary, but what’s scarier is living your life stuck in the claws of something that only wants to kill you. It’s not your friend. It doesn’t want to make you feel better. You’ve lived with this for long enough and now you’re strong enough to break away from it. Sorry to break it to you, but if you’re sitting around waiting for the right time to recover then you’re waiting for a train that’s never going to come. Only YOU can make the decision to recover. Nobody is going to make it for you. Either you get stronger or your eating disorder does. This is a choice that your eating disorder can’t make for you. You have to accept that you are worth something more, and then make the decision to set yourself free.

i feel like a very important part of character development we missed in between sr2 and sr3 was boss possibly starting therapy and getting medication. they’re still the same murderous asshole but they’ve calmed down and seem to be in control of who they are. boss seems happier? their hands are no longer shaking so often and a lot of their anger has slowly faded away.

but at the same time there’s johnny whose entire world has been flipped upside down. and johnny is fucking pissed about it all. where boss has gained more control johnny has lost it all. his life changed and he sees his own (heavily photoshopped) face on billboards and it all feels like a drug induced fever dream from which he can’t wake up.

@beezarre je suis désolée, ma chérié, j’ai oublié de répondre plus tôt. mais oui, il y a longtempts j’ai étudié le française, mais je ne comprends rien maintain :( 

It’s been somewhere about 6/7 years, now that i think about it, and honestly idk about the fandoms - i think we separated obsessions for a while, and then i went off to do real life things for a while and i’ve only just got back, really.  AND NOW WE ARE REUNITED IN FANDOM and it is brilliant bc i am e v i l and shall throw so many dang feelings at you you have no idea :333

i wasn’t involved in the berenstain/berenstein bears event cos it was boring and i had no idea who those characters even were but i found out this weekend that it’s jim beam not jim bean and my world has been flipped on its head

my bear! she sang, my bear so fair! and off they went, from here to there, the bear, the bear, and the maiden fair.

2

IU as seasons: a winter knitted into warm solace

they were quite the lame pair. they spent all their winters in a blue room traced with their icy blue fingertips. bundled up in blankets in all the colours that matched the blush on his nose. she never got to finish the sweater she promised him, because they were just a pair of puppy lovers who got so excited at the sight of knitting string, they’d pounce around till they were completely tangled up in each other. her frowns woven into his cheeky smiles. her button nose, a victim of his sneaky kisses.
“i’m not leaving you alone until you say it right.” 
“you know i can’t gurgle my throat around his na- ugh fine! Gogghhh away!”
winter was their favourite season because it seemed to last all year. he swore he’d be her summer breeze and she promised she’d be every storm.

THE 100 - Thoughts on 4x07

*Interesting that they always have three people/character in every plotline of this episode… the mansion mystery intruder - Clarke, Murphy and Emori, the black rain @arkadia - Bellamy, Kane, and Harper, Gimme Shelter “Cave” - Octavia, Helios (if anybody disagrees about my inclusion of this amazing steed then shame on you coz he has been around for more than 3 seasons now heh) and Ilian…

The Mansion Mystery Intruder/Shades of Mount Weather - seems the show is revisiting the question of how far you will go to survive… this storyline actually made me recall the scene where Maya showed Jasper and Monty how they have been using the grounders to survive and then she said these words “What else are we supposed to do?” then Monty just said one word “Die” and I remember my reaction to what he said coz i totally agree with him but now that it has been flip and our faves are now in danger of dying I am not so sure anymore… they seem to be ok with getting bone marrows… are they planning to only have Luna to supply all those bone marrows so they can create nightblood??? Hmmm… Is Luna ok with it? and also why would it suddenly be ok to experiment if the person is “not a good man”… is this the same justification that the Mount weather people used??? oh so many flashbacks in my mind of mount weather… what to do???

So the whole episode is basically about Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia and the development of their story arcs…

Clarke feeling lonely when looking at Memori, Clarke finally letting herself rest for a bit but of course the show won’t let her (boo)…oh maybe if Bellamy is around then the show will finally let her right??? wink wink… Clarke realizing the bed is too big for one person heh… Clarke trying to find justification in killing/sacrificing the intruder… yep she is still the same Clarke who do not hesitate to kill someone if it meant saving that someone or somebody else or in this case saving all of them… same mentality as the Ark I guess float the ones who did any wrong…or send the original 100 to the ground to be guinea pigs/experiment to save everyone… these kids have learned all these from the Adults…huh never thought i will go there… 

Bellamy arriving at Arkadia with the express purpose of making peace with Octavia then as soon as he arrives, disaster strikes then he is saving people while trying to find Octavia… Oh Bellamy how many people do you have to save to forgive yourself??? What could have made Bellamy stay inside the Rover? Why didn’t he go out? Makes me wonder if it was Clarke and her words of “No, We will” that rang through his mind knowing that Clarke refused to even think of the possibility of not seeing him…refusing him death…I’d like to believe that it was Clarke’s words that made him stop his “sacrifice myself to save everybody” mode…   

Octavia who is so deep into her darkness yet you could see she is also trying to claw her way out of it… before I continue talking about Octavia, I want to say that I really like Ilian and his story speaks to me in such a deep way… Both Octavia and Ilian’s arc were about revenge or I like how Ilian’s mother said it “Avenge me son” i think using those words evoke the Braveheart feels in me and I look at Ilian’s actions as if they are in the olden times in the Highlands and a son’s duty is to avenge his clan/family if they have all been wipe out by another clan and how there is honor in that which is I know a weird way of how I look at Ilian’s story but it so reminded me of those times.. whereas Octavia’s revenge simply evokes Anakin feels as what a lot of people has been commenting - Octanakin anyone??? -  and how we do not like those feels because it looks like the Character himself in this case herself welcomes the darkness and relish in it so he/she can take revenge… that is why Ilian’s evoke empathy in me but Octavia’s does not. Having said that, maybe the reason Octavia was more receptive to listening to Ilian’s words because it shows her actions for how wrong it is… Ilian’s story is MORE HORRIFYING than what happen to Octavia and yet Ilian’s revenge is not as HORRIFYING as Octavia’s revenge were… Ilian had not forgotten his humanity amidst the horrors he endured he did take action in avenging his family but he was stopped by the even more HORRIFYING truth that the END is near and it is coming fast so he decided to just do one simple act and that is to share his story not necessarily so he could make sense of what is happening but just the simple act of saying that those things happened was a way of letting go and even give space to also listening to another person’s story another person’s pain knowing that is how you know you are not alone… eeek… not expecting all these verbal avalanche to happen about Ilian and Octavia’s but while I was typing this all just come out.. now I kind of understand why Ilian’s character works and how Echo’s is not working for me I guess.. anyway if you have reached this far in reading my post… thank you my post is a bit of a mess but writing all this down helped me process the episode so much more …