Gordon knows he’s never going to clear out Gotham completely. He
knows you can’t put an end to all crime. He knows it’s a never-ending
For some reason, people don’t seem to talk about that with the
police force. How of course there’s always gonna be crime. It’s not the
fucking end of the world. When Pompeii went out, covered in ash, they
had graffiti on the walls, and he’s sure when Gotham finally crumbles
into dust, it’ll look much the same as Pompeii did.
But every night, he lights a cig, blows it out into the air, and goes to work anyway.
They’ll say the food programs should stop when people who are
spending their money on drugs use it, and that disability access should
be made inaccessible because some asshole might fake their way into it,
but no one says cops shouldn’t do their job just because it’ll be a
Funny how that is, sometimes.
Babs loves her computer. It’s a way for her to connect with the
world in a way she’s had trouble doing now that she’s in a chair.
Gordon knows he’s a lucky motherfucker. He could’ve lost his
daughter that day. He could’ve not been able to pay the medical bills.
He could’ve not been able to buy his girl a good wheelchair. Not been
able to afford a therapist. Not been able to guarantee Babs a job later
in life. If she ever wanted disability benefits she wouldn’t be able to
get them from the government–unless he hides all the money in his own
bank and writes her down as non-dependant on his taxes. So instead he’s
gotta save up a fund for her, and
he has the savings and salary to do that
. He can make sure she’s got a fighting chance if something
happens. He took out fucking life insurance years ago, when his wife
left him. After he lost his son. It’s all going to his daughter when he
bruce: [gesturing to a broken bank vault door] who broke it?
bruce: i’m not mad. i just wanna know.
selina: i did it, i broke it…
bruce: no. no, you didn’t. harley?
harley: don’t look at me, look at riddler.
eddie: what?! i didn’t break it!
harley: huh. that’s weird. how did you even know it was broken?
eddie: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
eddie: no it’s not!
jon: if it matters, probably not… ivy was the last one in the bank.
ivy: liar! i don’t even need money!
jon: oh really? then why were you and harley in here earlier?
ivy: harley has an account here and i tag along sometimes. everyone knows that, crane!
selina: alright, let’s not fight. i broke it, let me pay for it, batman.
bruce: no! who broke it!
harley: [whispering] batman, two-face has been awfully quiet…
harvey: really? really?!
harley: yeah, really!
[everyone starts arguing]
bruce: [off to the side] i broke it. i threw a grenade and it ripped the door off its hinges. i predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. good. it was getting a little chummy around here.
↳ jerome valeska aka the joker.
—sociopath as a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder (npd).
↳ jonathan crane aka scarecrow.
—phobia as a type of anxiety disorder.
↳ tabitha galavan aka tigress.
—sadistic personality disorder (spd).
↳ harvey dent aka two face.
—split personality or dissociative identity disorder (did).
↳ edward nygma aka the riddler.
—obsessive–compulsive disorder (ocd).
↳ oswald cobblepot aka the penguin.
↳ victor zsasz aka zsasz
—cold-blooded as a symptom of antisocial personality disorder (aspd).
↳ ivy “pamela” pepper aka poison ivy
—manipulative as a symptom of histrionic personality disorder (hpd).
↳ nathaniel barnes aka the executioner.
—intermittent explosive disorder (ied).
↳ jervis tetch aka mad hatter.
—paranoid schizophrenia or schizophrenia, paranoid type (spt).
the gotham rogues in arkham is so wild lmao…. all the normal rules of engagement are OFF
edward isn’t allowed puzzles or that many games in arkham and the ones he is allowed he finds SO BORING so he starts finding new ways to keep himself occupied.
like literally ivy will walk past him in the cafeteria one day shoving straws up his nose and be like, “what the fuck are you doing?”
and edward will just turn to her with like a dozen straws shoved up either nostril and a deadly serious look on his face and say, “challenging my intellect, dear.”
harley: i wanna watch adventure time! harvey: tough shit, cutthroat kitchen is on next! harley: give me the remote, fryface!” *trying to wrestle the remote out of two-face’s hand jonathan: why don’t you just read a book- harley + harvey: NO ONE ASKED BITCH
if something goes missing in arkham it’s most likely some asshole has taken it. harvey just barrels into the rec room one day seething
“RIGHT WHERE IS IT?” “where’s what?” “MY COIN YOU JACKASSES I KNOW YOU HAVE IT” snickering but no one owns up, orderlies/guards looking kinda worried but also kinda amused. “WHERE IS IT?!?!” “I’LL GO TO THE WARDEN, I SWEAR.” suddenly stops yelling, gets an evil smile on face and narrows eyes, “they’ll take the TV away.” harvey starts walking towards the door and like four rogues tackle him to the ground at once. biting, kicking, scratching and punching ensues.
after it’s all over ivy just walks up calmly to him and drops it in his hand, “you dropped it on the floor of the cafeteria this morning.”
harley and ivy are gay as shit all the time, not even subtle about it. just like holding hands and staring longingly into each others eyes and all that soppy shit. it’s infuriating for anyone who’s third wheeling.
“so guys i have a plan to bust out- guys? guys…. guys please - guys, stop being gay for like 5 min and listen to my plan.”
art therapy is a mess.
doctor: draw something that represents ur innermost feelings
obvs ur gunna get the really dark shit but:
joker draws himself in a wedding dress being carried off by batman.
edward draws himself in question mark speedos and a Hawaiian shirt sitting on a pile of money on a beach with the words I AM THE BEST over the top.
ivy draws the rogues and batfam dead at her feet, flowers growing out of the bodies while she stands on top of the pile triumphantly holding hands with harley.
harley just draws some kittens and puppies and a bunch of love hearts and jester diamonds.
jonathan draws a scarecrow in a dark field surrounded by a bunch of crows with sharp teeth in the beaks and the words might as well be dead. no one is surprised. [harvey voice] why you gotta be so emo crane?
victor draws himself and nora on their wedding day and harley bursts into tears and tries to hug him.
doctor: edward, please can you call jonathan over for me? edward: sure edward: JONAAAAAATHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN doctor: for gods sake jonathan: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? doctor: i don’t know what i expected
gotham rogues: [are arguing in group therapy as per usual] doctor: excuse me, who’s the doctor here? jonathan: me harley: me too ivy: i am as well victor: technically i am too edward: i have multiple doctorates, i’ll have you know doctor: [face palming] i don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit gotham rogues: we know