Unconsolable (Roadtrip Vigilante continuation #1)

Gordon knows he’s never going to clear out Gotham completely. He knows you can’t put an end to all crime. He knows it’s a never-ending battle.

 For some reason, people don’t seem to talk about that with the police force. How of course there’s always gonna be crime. It’s not the fucking end of the world. When Pompeii went out, covered in ash, they had graffiti on the walls, and he’s sure when Gotham finally crumbles into dust, it’ll look much the same as Pompeii did.

 But every night, he lights a cig, blows it out into the air, and goes to work anyway.

 They’ll say the food programs should stop when people who are spending their money on drugs use it, and that disability access should be made inaccessible because some asshole might fake their way into it, but no one says cops shouldn’t do their job just because it’ll be a never-ending one.

 Funny how that is, sometimes.


Babs loves her computer. It’s a way for her to connect with the world in a way she’s had trouble doing now that she’s in a chair.

Gordon knows he’s a lucky motherfucker. He could’ve lost his daughter that day. He could’ve not been able to pay the medical bills. He could’ve not been able to buy his girl a good wheelchair. Not been able to afford a therapist. Not been able to guarantee Babs a job later in life. If she ever wanted disability benefits she wouldn’t be able to get them from the government–unless he hides all the money in his own bank and writes her down as non-dependant on his taxes. So instead he’s gotta save up a fund for her, and he has the savings and salary to do that . He can make sure she’s got a fighting chance if something happens. He took out fucking life insurance years ago, when his wife left him. After he lost his son. It’s all going to his daughter when he dies.

He’s not losing his daughter first.

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bruce: [gesturing to a broken bank vault door] who broke it?


bruce: i’m not mad. i just wanna know.

selina: i did it, i broke it…

bruce: no. no, you didn’t. harley?

harley: don’t look at me, look at riddler.

eddie: what?! i didn’t break it!

harley: huh. that’s weird. how did you even know it was broken?

eddie: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

harley: suspicious.

eddie: no it’s not!

jon: if it matters, probably not… ivy was the last one in the bank.

ivy: liar! i don’t even need money!

jon: oh really? then why were you and harley in here earlier?

ivy: harley has an account here and i tag along sometimes. everyone knows that, crane!

selina: alright, let’s not fight. i broke it, let me pay for it, batman.

bruce: no! who broke it!

harley: [whispering] batman, two-face has been awfully quiet…

harvey: really? really?!

harley: yeah, really!

[everyone starts arguing]

bruce: [off to the side] i broke it. i threw a grenade and it ripped the door off its hinges. i predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. good. it was getting a little chummy around here. 


gotham villains | mental disorders (insp.)

↳ jerome valeska aka the joker. —sociopath as a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder (npd). 
↳ jonathan crane aka scarecrow. —phobia as a type of anxiety disorder.
↳ tabitha galavan aka tigress. —sadistic personality disorder (spd).
↳ harvey dent aka two face. —split personality or dissociative identity disorder (did).
↳ edward nygma aka the riddler. —obsessive–compulsive disorder (ocd).
↳ oswald cobblepot aka the penguin. —napoleon complex.
↳ victor zsasz aka zsasz —cold-blooded as a symptom of antisocial personality disorder (aspd).
↳ ivy “pamela” pepper aka poison ivy —manipulative as a symptom of histrionic personality disorder (hpd).
↳ nathaniel barnes aka the executioner. —intermittent explosive disorder (ied).
↳ jervis tetch aka mad hatter. —paranoid schizophrenia or schizophrenia, paranoid type (spt).

  • DC Comics: We’re coming out with a new miniseries about a Batman villain!
  • Me: Okay, whatever.
  • DC Comics: Did we mention that it’s a REFORMED Batman villain?
  • Me: ... go on.
  • DC Comics: They’ve reformed and have gone into politics!
  • Me: Huh, okay. Could be a number of characters... Penguin, Hush...
  • DC Comics: No, wait! Their goal is to restore law and order to Gotham City!
  • Me: Oooh?
  • DC Comics: And to confront the Batman about his illegal and harmful actions!
  • Me: Gasp! Could it be...?
  • DC Comics: The miniseries will be called “White Knight!”
  • Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, it could be only one character!
  • DC Comics: Of course! It’s the Joker!
  • Me: (goes into self, sees the face of god)

anonymous asked:

How do the Rogues get along cooped up in Arkham?

the gotham rogues in arkham is so wild lmao…. all the normal rules of engagement are OFF


edward isn’t allowed puzzles or that many games in arkham and the ones he is allowed he finds SO BORING so he starts finding new ways to keep himself occupied.

like literally ivy will walk past him in the cafeteria one day shoving straws up his nose and be like, “what the fuck are you doing?” 

and edward will just turn to her with like a dozen straws shoved up either nostril and a deadly serious look on his face and say, “challenging my intellect, dear.” 


harley: i wanna watch adventure time!
harvey: tough shit, cutthroat kitchen is on next!
harley: give me the remote, fryface!” *trying to wrestle the remote out of two-face’s hand
jonathan: why don’t you just read a book-
harley + harvey: NO ONE ASKED BITCH


if something goes missing in arkham it’s most likely some asshole has taken it. harvey just barrels into the rec room one day seething

“where’s what?” 
snickering but no one owns up, orderlies/guards looking kinda worried but also kinda amused. 
suddenly stops yelling, gets an evil smile on face and narrows eyes, “they’ll take the TV away.”
harvey starts walking towards the door and like four rogues tackle him to the ground at once. biting, kicking, scratching and punching ensues. 

after it’s all over ivy just walks up calmly to him and drops it in his hand, “you dropped it on the floor of the cafeteria this morning.”


harley and ivy are gay as shit all the time, not even subtle about it. just like holding hands and staring longingly into each others eyes and all that soppy shit. it’s infuriating for anyone who’s third wheeling. 

“so guys i have a plan to bust out- guys? guys…. guys please - guys, stop being gay for like 5 min and listen to my plan.”


art therapy is a mess.

doctor: draw something that represents ur innermost feelings

obvs ur gunna get the really dark shit but:

  • joker draws himself in a wedding dress being carried off by batman. 
  • edward draws himself in question mark speedos and a Hawaiian shirt sitting on a pile of money on a beach with the words I AM THE BEST over the top.
  • ivy draws the rogues and batfam dead at her feet, flowers growing out of the bodies while she stands on top of the pile triumphantly holding hands with harley.
  • harley just draws some kittens and puppies and a bunch of love hearts and jester diamonds. 
  • jonathan draws a scarecrow in a dark field surrounded by a bunch of crows with sharp teeth in the beaks and the words might as well be dead. no one is surprised. [harvey voice] why you gotta be so emo crane?
  • victor draws himself and nora on their wedding day and harley bursts into tears and tries to hug him.


doctor: edward, please can you call jonathan over for me?
edward: sure
doctor: for gods sake
doctor: i don’t know what i expected 


gotham rogues: [are arguing in group therapy as per usual]
doctor: excuse me, who’s the doctor here? 
jonathan: me
harley: me too
ivy: i am as well
victor: technically i am too
edward: i have multiple doctorates, i’ll have you know
doctor: [face palming] i don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit
gotham rogues: we know