Imagine having a drink with Two-Face and meeting the other rogues
You had no idea how you got into the Iceberg Lounge but there you were sat on a bar stool, alone, drink in hand. You seemed to blend in well despite the rather spontaneous idea. You just needed some time away from your seemingly endless work.
You didn’t look up from your drink as a tall, bulky man made his his way to your side. “Is this seat taken?” His gruff voice asked. You shook your head, gesturing for him to take it. “Whiskey” He said to the bartender before looking back at you. “Now, what are you doing here kid?” “…having a drink.” “Students are a rare sight in the lounge.” “How did you-” “You pick up on certain things with what i used to do.” “What did you-” You looked up and gasped. You saw him on the news frequently. He was Harvey Dent, now more commonly known as ‘Two-Face’. “Easy, kid. You don’t wanna make a scene here. Especially, since you shouldn’t be here.” You looked pretty shaken, you couldn’t find the words to speak yet Two-Face did nothing. He just sat there taking his eyes from you to take a swig of his drink.
“Well, looky here.” You stiffened hearing a different kind of voice. “Got a little sneak eh?” “Oh leave it, Cobblepot.” Two-Face said flatly. “I’ll take responsibility for this one.” “Oh is that so?” Penguin sneered. “Yeah.” Two-Face’s expression turned dark. “It is.” “Fine!” Penguin surrendered. “Your responsibility, anything goes to shit and it’s on you.” Two-Face didn’t respond, instead he took a another swig. Penguin quickly added how their associates were waiting on him before making his way through the sea of people behind you. “Associates? Does he mean…?” You trailed off and he nodded. “Why did you stop him?” “You’re young kid.” Two-Face said. “I was once a student too.” He raised his glass. “As the young generation would say nowadays, ‘the struggle is real’.” “Amen.” You nodded knowingly in agreement, clinking your glass with his. “I wouldn’t worry too much, you’re a smart kid.” “…How did you-?” “The books in your bag.” You eyed your bag that had a few, but by no means light, textbooks as well as a book for your own enjoyment. “Tell you what, how about i introduce you?” “To who? Your friends?” He chuckled. “That’s a stretch but i suppose you could call them that. “I don’t think they’d want-” “Psht, believe it or not, with a few drinks they are quite an open bunch. I have a feeling Nygma and Crane would love you.” Two-Face ordered himself another drink before buying you one too despite your protests that you could pay for yourself. You lifted the bag over your shoulder, wincing at the dull pain returning to your shoulder.
Two-Face took both of your drinks and nodded for you to follow him. You did so and you saw them all there in a booth. Joker, Riddler, Scarecrow, Penguin and Poison Ivy. Dent placed the glasses on the table and sat beside Ivy shuffling over and patting the end seat. You moved your bag under the table and sat down, holding your drink. “Cobblepot gave this one shit for sneaking in.” “Really?” Ivy said in disapproval. “They came alone and you are concerned of trouble?” “Don’t want no habits of trespassing around ‘ere!” Penguin snapped. “We saw you come in.” Scarecrow told you. “You snuck in the same time we arrived.” You blushed in embarrassment. “Least the kid’s livin’ a little.” Joker grinned at you and you smiled shyly in response. “They’re a student.” Two-Face nodded to you. “Oh?” Edward perked up. “What do you study?” Jonathan asked. “Psychology.” You smiled. Jonathan smiled in pride and raised his glass to you before taking a sip. “Best way to go.” Edward scoffed. “Because clearly you’re the prime example.” “Any theorist you don’t like?” “Freud, definitely.” You said eyes wide. “Like i get how much input he made to our knowledge today but you can’t deny he was a little…weird.” “Ahh, Sigmund Freud.” Jonathan said in thought. “One of many children and was the favourite child due to foreseen impacts.” “He got his own room and his sister had to give up her piano so he could concentrate. He also learned several languages when he was younger.” “Quit speakin’ gibberish!” Joker said loudly. “What you two on about?” Penguin scowled. “Oh come on, I don’t care for psychology and I still know who Sigmund Freud is.” Nygma said as he shook his head. Jonathan ignored them, his attention fully invested on you. “Have you done your exams yet?” “No -still got an essay before my finals.” You said in dismay. “That’s why i came here, my brain was about to explode if I spent another minute working on it. It’s driving me mad.” “Struggling?” “Yeah…” You trailed off. “I could always help you if you wish?” “Would you!?” You said suddenly excited, maybe the universe was on your side. Jonathan seemed pretty enthusiastic about helping you, his smile growing. “Bet your glad you came now.” Two-Face smiled into his glass. “What topics?” Jonathan said moving closer to the table. “I’ll show you!” You grabbed your bag and grabbed your textbooks. “They arrive to get a break and you swoop them back in.” Edward tutted. “They aren’t complaining!” Jonathan snapped at him and taking the books you had slid across the table. Luckily you had post-it tabs directing you. He smiled slightly to see the effort you clearly put in. You had lightly scrawled in pencil your analysis as well as underlining various places. “You’ve definitely got the hang of it.” he nodded, turning the page. “I can certainly help you iron out the edges.” You smiled in gratitude. “Really? Thank you!” Jonathan nodded, grabbing a napkin. “You keep this to yourself and i won’t hunt you down.” He smiled slightly and slid the napkin across the table to you. “Your number?” Jonathan nodded. “I mean it, that’s my personal phone, you give my number to the bat or whatever and i’ll hunt you down.” “I promise i won’t tell a soul.” You grinned.
“Sorry, i snuck in. I won’t do it again.” You said at the door to the Iceberg Lounge. Penguin shrugged. “No harm done, just don’t make a habit of it. Not everyone is as generous as us.” “Pardon me but…you’ve all been nice to me. You’re not like how the news make you out to be.” “Oh, we are. We are very much the monsters we are made out to be. You caught us in a good mood. However, I will say that we can be very approachable.” You nodded. “Thank you, Mr Cobblepot. Really, thank you.” “You sure you won’t need a cab?” “Nah. My place isn’t too far from here.” “Then i’ll see you around. Good luck with school.” “Thank you.” You nodded before walking off, offering a wave.
You kicked off your shoes when you got back home. You were quick to save the Scarecrows number and you quickly turned on the TV. It changed to some movie. You relaxed under the soft lights of your apartment, snuggling into your couch. You decided to text Jonathan so he’d have your contact. ‘Hi Dr Crane, thanks offering to help me. I really appreciate it. It was nice to meet you today! -(Y/N)’ Half an hour later your phone vibrated with the alert of a text. ‘Hello (Y/N), it was a pleasure to meet you too. It isn’t a bother, i shall let you know when i’m free. -JC’
bruce: [gesturing to a broken bank vault door] who broke it?
bruce: i’m not mad. i just wanna know.
selina: i did it, i broke it…
bruce: no. no, you didn’t. harley?
harley: don’t look at me, look at riddler.
eddie: what?! i didn’t break it!
harley: huh. that’s weird. how did you even know it was broken?
eddie: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
eddie: no it’s not!
jon: if it matters, probably not… ivy was the last one in the bank.
ivy: liar! i don’t even need money!
jon: oh really? then why were you and harley in here earlier?
ivy: harley has an account here and i tag along sometimes. everyone knows that, crane!
selina: alright, let’s not fight. i broke it, let me pay for it, batman.
bruce: no! who broke it!
harley: [whispering] batman, two-face has been awfully quiet…
harvey: really? really?!
harley: yeah, really!
[everyone starts arguing]
bruce: [off to the side] i broke it. i threw a grenade and it ripped the door off its hinges. i predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. good. it was getting a little chummy around here.
↳ jerome valeska aka the joker.
—sociopath as a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder (npd).
↳ jonathan crane aka scarecrow.
—phobia as a type of anxiety disorder.
↳ tabitha galavan aka tigress.
—sadistic personality disorder (spd).
↳ harvey dent aka two face.
—split personality or dissociative identity disorder (did).
↳ edward nygma aka the riddler.
—obsessive–compulsive disorder (ocd).
↳ oswald cobblepot aka the penguin.
↳ victor zsasz aka zsasz
—cold-blooded as a symptom of antisocial personality disorder (aspd).
↳ ivy “pamela” pepper aka poison ivy
—manipulative as a symptom of histrionic personality disorder (hpd).
↳ nathaniel barnes aka the executioner.
—intermittent explosive disorder (ied).
↳ jervis tetch aka mad hatter.
—paranoid schizophrenia or schizophrenia, paranoid type (spt).
the gotham rogues in arkham is so wild lmao…. all the normal rules of engagement are OFF
edward isn’t allowed puzzles or that many games in arkham and the ones he is allowed he finds SO BORING so he starts finding new ways to keep himself occupied.
like literally ivy will walk past him in the cafeteria one day shoving straws up his nose and be like, “what the fuck are you doing?”
and edward will just turn to her with like a dozen straws shoved up either nostril and a deadly serious look on his face and say, “challenging my intellect, dear.”
harley: i wanna watch adventure time! harvey: tough shit, cutthroat kitchen is on next! harley: give me the remote, fryface!” *trying to wrestle the remote out of two-face’s hand jonathan: why don’t you just read a book- harley + harvey: NO ONE ASKED BITCH
if something goes missing in arkham it’s most likely some asshole has taken it. harvey just barrels into the rec room one day seething
“RIGHT WHERE IS IT?” “where’s what?” “MY COIN YOU JACKASSES I KNOW YOU HAVE IT” snickering but no one owns up, orderlies/guards looking kinda worried but also kinda amused. “WHERE IS IT?!?!” “I’LL GO TO THE WARDEN, I SWEAR.” suddenly stops yelling, gets an evil smile on face and narrows eyes, “they’ll take the TV away.” harvey starts walking towards the door and like four rogues tackle him to the ground at once. biting, kicking, scratching and punching ensues.
after it’s all over ivy just walks up calmly to him and drops it in his hand, “you dropped it on the floor of the cafeteria this morning.”
harley and ivy are gay as shit all the time, not even subtle about it. just like holding hands and staring longingly into each others eyes and all that soppy shit. it’s infuriating for anyone who’s third wheeling.
“so guys i have a plan to bust out- guys? guys…. guys please - guys, stop being gay for like 5 min and listen to my plan.”
art therapy is a mess.
doctor: draw something that represents ur innermost feelings
obvs ur gunna get the really dark shit but:
joker draws himself in a wedding dress being carried off by batman.
edward draws himself in question mark speedos and a Hawaiian shirt sitting on a pile of money on a beach with the words I AM THE BEST over the top.
ivy draws the rogues and batfam dead at her feet, flowers growing out of the bodies while she stands on top of the pile triumphantly holding hands with harley.
harley just draws some kittens and puppies and a bunch of love hearts and jester diamonds.
jonathan draws a scarecrow in a dark field surrounded by a bunch of crows with sharp teeth in the beaks and the words might as well be dead. no one is surprised. [harvey voice] why you gotta be so emo crane?
victor draws himself and nora on their wedding day and harley bursts into tears and tries to hug him.
doctor: edward, please can you call jonathan over for me? edward: sure edward: JONAAAAAATHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN doctor: for gods sake jonathan: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? doctor: i don’t know what i expected
gotham rogues: [are arguing in group therapy as per usual] doctor: excuse me, who’s the doctor here? jonathan: me harley: me too ivy: i am as well victor: technically i am too edward: i have multiple doctorates, i’ll have you know doctor: [face palming] i don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit gotham rogues: we know