harvey catchings

third time isn’t lucky when it’s meant to be (harvey/mike)

The first time it happened, Harvey saw it coming even before Mike did.

When Harvey arrived at the church he told Ray that they just needed to wait for a bit, that they’d be making a cross state trip within the hour. He didn’t even bother walking into the church, he just stepped out of the car and waited, right there on the sidewalk.

The only surprising thing about the day was how long it took for Mike to come rushing out of the church doors. Harvey thought they’d be on the road by now, but he didn’t begrudge Mike in the least. This was the hardest thing Mike was ever going to have to do, of course he wanted to take all the time he could, while he still had it.

When Mike emerged and saw Harvey standing there waiting for him, there was a flash of surprise before his face melted into rueful acceptance. “How’d you know?” Mike asked.

Harvey just looked at him, incredulous. “I know you,” Harvey replied, and it was enough.

They got in the car and Ray started driving, already knowing the destination. It was going to be a long drive, ninety minutes of the nerves and anticipation ratcheting up to boiling point. Harvey wanted to distract Mike, but every idea he came up with was too lame to say out loud, so in the end he left it up to Mike.

“Talk to me,” Harvey said gently.

Mike huffed out a laugh. “That must be the first time you’ve ever asked me to tell you about my feelings. Normally you run for the hills whenever I get within five feet of the topic.”

Harvey smiled slowly. Even in his darkest moment Mike was giving Harvey shit. It was stupid, but it somehow made Harvey think that maybe things would be okay. “Well, you’ve got-” he checked his watch, “-seventy minutes to spill feelings all over me without me complaining. When are you gonna get an offer like that again?”

Mike smiled weakly at him, but didn’t reply straight away, so Harvey started to worry it was all for naught.

“Rachel’s going to hate me.”

Harvey rolled his eyes. That girl was crazy about Mike and anyone could see it. “No, she won’t.”

“I’m not going to ask you to look after her while I’m gone, because that would be patronizing and she doesn’t need it. But … just, look out for her?”

“Of course.”

Mike spent the next few minutes looking out the window. “I’m scared,” he whispered, and Harvey could feel his heart splitting into a thousand pieces.

Harvey wanted to tell Mike that everything was going to be fine, but he couldn’t lie to him like that. He wanted to tell Mike that he was scared too, that he was terrified that prison was going to change Mike. And for all that Harvey gave Mike crap in the early days of their relationship, as much as he tried to mould and better Mike, the truth was that he didn’t need it. Mike was perfect the way he was, flaws and all, and he didn’t want prison to beat the goodness out of Mike like it had so many others.

But he didn’t say any of that. This was about Mike, not Harvey, so instead he slowly reached over to where Mike’s thumb was continually tapping against his thigh. He covered Mike’s hand with his own, squeezing it, and before he could pull away Mike gripped back, holding onto Harvey like a lifeline.

They stayed that way for the remainder of the drive.

When the car stopped outside of Danbury Mike immediately got out of the car, like a man on a mission. Harvey, confused, hustled to catch up, and he was barely out of the car before Mike was there, throwing his arms around Harvey in a hug. Harvey immediately wrapped his arms around Mike, holding him tight.

“I’m sorry for hitting you,” Mike murmured.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“And I need you to know, no matter what happens in there, I don’t regret it. Not a single day. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me, and it was worth everything that’s happened since.”

Harvey felt himself welling up, but he tried to push it back down. He needed to be strong, for Mike. “I’m getting you out of there, Mike. I swear it.”

Mike nodded, said, “Okay,” and then he pulled away, turning and walking into the prison without looking back.


The second time it happened, Harvey was completely blindsided.

The wedding, though small, had been planned for months. The caterer had been booked, dresses and suits carefully chosen, an uncle of Rachel’s had been enlisted to perform the ceremony, Harvey had combed through his record collection to find the best music to be played at the party…

Mike never said a word.

Harvey had taken Mike to Vegas for a five day bachelor party two weeks prior to the big day. It was just the two of them, and they’d spent their days exploring, going to the Grand Canyon and the Neon Museum and Red Rock Canyon. Harvey even managed to get Mike onto a golf course, which of course he sucked at, much to Harvey’s delight. And then they spent their nights on the town: eating fabulous food, drinking, gambling with obscene amounts of money and winning more often than not because of Mike’s genius brain. There might have even been a tipsy skinny dipping session late one evening in the hotel pool. They had an amazing vacation, and throughout all that, the days and nights they spent together, the copious conversations that they had, Mike never once mentioned that he was having second thoughts.

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suits keeps throwing timeline facts at me and i am incapable of leaving well enough alone. so! the revised, revised, revised histories of mike ross and harvey specter. (with one minor reference to rachel zane.)

ETA: a little bit of clarification for how to best interpret the timeline overall

Harvey is born
HARVEY (to MIKE): You found the one mistake I made while drafting those bylaws a dozen years ago, when I was two years younger than you.
(“Inside Track” s01e03)

Mike is born
MIKE (to NICK RINALDI): You don’t take cases like that? What about your case from 1992? Driver plows into a car after drinking about 1,000 Jack and Cokes, killing a happily married couple? James and Nina Ross?
(“Blind-Sided” s02e11)

1987 (Harvey is 16)
Harvey catches his mother cheating on his father
HARVEY (to MIKE re: LILY): I was 16 when I caught her cheating.
(”High Noon” s02e10)

1988 (Mike is 7, Harvey is 17)
Mike and Tess meet
TESS (to RACHEL re: MIKE): Short story is, we’ve known each other since we were seven.
(“High Noon” s02e10)

Harvey’s batting average is .385
Harvey (to GORDON): I think you’re maybe forgetting I hit .385.
(“The Other Time” s03e06)

Harvey injures his shoulder and can’t play in the state championships, but his team wins anyway
TRAVIS TANNER (to HARVEY): And I also know that during your senior year, you missed out on playing in the state championship because of your shoulder. … And what do you know? They won without you, Harvey.
(“Undefeated” s01e09)

1989 (Mike is 8, Harvey is 18)
Mike and Trevor meet, or have known each other for some time
MIKE (to TREVOR): You know, that is word for word your offer before I got caught cheating on your math test in the third grade.
(“Pilot" s01e01)

Harvey’s mother leaves his father
HARVEY (to MIKE re: LILY): The next two years went by, I didn’t say a thing, and she went right on just making him a fool.
(”High Noon” s02e10)

1992 (Mike is 11)
Mike’s parents are killed
MIKE (to HARVEY): When I was 11, my parents were involved in a really horrible accident.
(“Blind-Sided” s02e11)

1994-1998 (Mike is 13-18)
Mike attends St. Andrew’s High School and is a straight-A student

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MIKE (to EDITH): Yeah, and you’re not at school and all I do is get As.
(“Faith” s05e10 [flashback, nonspecific])

After receiving an F on a history paper for cutting class on parent-teacher conference day, Mike transfers to public school
MIKE: You gave that paper an F? It deserves an A.
FATHER WALKER: What about the fact that you cut the entire afternoon last Tuesday? … I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you chose to cut class on parent-teacher conference day.

FATHER WALKER: So you’re dropping out?
MIKE: No, I’m going to public school.
(“Faith” s05e10 [flashback, nonspecific])

1999 (Mike is 18-19, Harvey is 28)
Mike’s college GPA is 3.8
MIKE (to TREVOR): But I still have a three-eight. There’s no way Harvard rescinds my acceptance.
(“The Other Time” s03e06 [flashback, “TEN YEARS AGO”])

Mike applies to transfer to Harvard and is accepted, and subsequently expelled and his transfer revoked after he takes the fall for Trevor
TREVOR: You got into Harvard, dickhead.
MIKE: They accepted my transfer?
TREVOR: Yeah, they did.

THE DEAN (to MIKE): The young woman you sold the test to was my daughter. They’re demanding my resignation. And as my last official act, I’m expelling you from this school. And then, I’m going to call Harvard. Believe me when I tell you, you’re never going there.
(“The Other Time” s03e06 [flashback, “TEN YEARS AGO”])

Harvey drafts the McKernon Motors bylaws
HARVEY (to MIKE): You found the one mistake I made while drafting those bylaws a dozen years ago, when I was two years younger than you.
(“Inside Track” s01e03)

2000-2002 (Harvey is 29-31)
Harvey starts working for Cameron Dennis at the District Attorney’s office
(HARVEY [to ALEXANDRA LEEDS]): I worked as an Assistant District Attorney for the County of New York for two years. … An attorney by the name of Jessica Pearson helped me get through law school. And she felt that I could use trial experience.
(“Rules of the Game” s01e11)

Harvey meets and hires Donna
DONNA: You know, usually when someone wins their first trial, they at least pretend to finish the drink their fellow ADAs bought them.
HARVEY: I’m sorry, do we—
DONNA: Know each other? Not yet. But today’s your lucky day.
HARVEY: And why is that?
DONNA: Because it’s the day you get to meet Donna.
(“Not Just a Pretty Face” s04e16 [flashback, nonspecific])

Harvey borrows $150,000 from Charles Forstman and loans it to Marcus
HARVEY: My brother needs $150,000 for a new restaurant.

CHARLES FORSTMAN: We’re not a good fit. Because restaurants fail. And when this one does, you’ll leave. So, you might as well leave right now.
HARVEY: Then how about we bet on it?
(“Not Just a Pretty Face” s04e16 [flashback, nonspecific])

Harvey meets Alex Williams
HARVEY: Well, I’ve known him for 15 years, and I’m vouching for him.
(“The Statue” s07e02)

2003 (Harvey is 32)
Harvey quits the District Attorney’s office and returns to Pearson Hardman
HARVEY: I decided what kind of attorney I want to be.
DONNA: I heard. You quit.

HARVEY (to JESSICA): Instead of thinking about what I want to be doing in ten years, I started thinking about who I want to be doing it with.

JESSICA (to HARVEY): So, let me get this straight. You turned me down before, and now you’re saying you want to come back? … Welcome back, Harvey. You start Monday.
(“The Other Time” s03e06 [flashback, nonspecific])

2007 (Mike is 26, Harvey is 36)
Mike and Trevor meet Nikki and Jenny
MIKE (to TREVOR): Oh, yeah, that girl, Nikki, called me. … I don’t know, it’s I just felt like I kind of hit it off more with that Jenny girl, that’s all.
(“Rewind” s02e08 [flashback, “FIVE YEARS AGO”])

Mike agrees to take the LSATs for Nikki
NIKKI (to MIKE): I want to pay you $1000 to take the LSATs for me.
(“Rewind” s02e08 [flashback, “FIVE YEARS AGO”])

Gordon Specter dies

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DONNA (to HARVEY): Your dad. He had a heart attack.
(“Rewind” s02e08 [flashback, “FIVE YEARS AGO”])

Harvey is a Senior Associate

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(“Rewind” s02e08 [flashback, “FIVE YEARS AGO”])

Harvey is promoted to Junior Partner
HARVEY (to LOUIS): You know, I just figured I’d treat myself for making Junior Partner.
(“Rewind” s02e08 [flashback, “FIVE YEARS AGO”])

2008 (Mike is 27)
Mike courts Claire Bowden and lies about being a law student at Columbia; she finds out and breaks up with him
CLAIRE: Where do you go?
MIKE: Mmm-mmm. You first. Where do you go?
MIKE: Columbia.

CLAIRE: Please get away from me. Nathan told me everything.
MIKE: Wait, please. Let me explain, okay?
(“Fork in the Road” s04e13 [flashback, “SIX YEARS AGO”])

Against Edith’s wishes, Mike moves in with Trevor
MIKE: His name is Trevor, and he’s my best friend. I’m going to do this thing with or without your blessing. But it sure would be nice to have it.
EDITH: Okay, Michael. I’m not going to lie to you and pretend I approve. But you’re a grown man and I respect your decision.
(“Fork in the Road” s04e13 [flashback, “SIX YEARS AGO”])

Rachel is hired at Pearson Hardman
JESSICA: I’m hiring you because I like what I see.
RACHEL: Hiring me?
JESSICA: You start Monday, if that’s not too much trouble.
RACHEL: I will be the first one in.
(“Fork in the Road” s04e13 [flashback, “SIX YEARS AGO”])

2009 (Mike is 28)
Mike is broke and banned from a casino in Atlantic City for card counting
MIKE: I’m sort of banned from here.
HARVEY: For smoking weed?
MIKE: Counting cards, I mean, I was smoking weed, but they banned me for counting cards. … It was three years ago.
(“All In” s02e06)

2011 (Mike is 30, Harvey is 40)
Harvey is promoted to Senior Partner and required to hire an associate
JESSICA (to HARVEY): Well, I would, Harvey, except all senior partners get an associate. It’s just a rule.
(“Pilot” s01e01)

Everybody out there!

Hi fam! I need your help! Through all of you I already found some wonderful new material to make my kindle blush. Now I have another question for you.

What gay fandoms can you recommend? I need more things to stalk!

Here is what I am stalking so far:

- Johnlock (I’ll never abandon this ship, the community is too awesome to leave)

- Matteusz x Charlie (Class, they are just too cute! I hope there will be another season)

- Dorian x John Kennex (Almost Human, It’s a shame but I feel like the fandom died some time ago *cries* I love the android-love!)

- Dragon age Fenris x m!hawke and Dorian x inquisitor (So pretty)

- Wilson x house (why can’t they just admit it, damnit!)

- eggsy x Harry hart (I kind of dig them so hard!)

- Malec (obviously)

- Merthur (though my interest has dwindled a bit and I am not as aktice as I used to be)

- Nagron (hot warrior boys!)

- Mike x harvey (Suits, I should catch up, definitely)

- Thorki (It isn’t incest, they are NOT related! I won’t give up hope!)

- Janto (rest in piece Ianto, the community is still kind of going though)

- Ilya x Napoleon (U.N.C.L.E., Ilya tore of a piece of the car and love was born. Kind of active community)

- Chris x josh (until dawn, wendibros for life! sadly not so much community activity any more)

- Cherik (x-men, I don’t need to say anything, do i?)

- carlos x cecil, adam x caleb (because podcasts are important!)

- Zude (Hit the floor, I thank all the stars that the series was picked for a fourth season!)

Has anybody a great recommendation? A series? a movie?

Never Have I Ever

Louis isn’t quite sure how he managed to talk Harvey Specter into playing “Never Have I Ever,” but the team’s all here, and they are going to bond, dammit!

Ships: Marvey
Rating: Mature (to be safe)
Warnings: Sexual humor
Word count: 2K

Written for Suits 100′s 9th prompt: “Never Have I Ever… The PSL crew (either all of the (main) characters or just a selection) engage in a game of ‘Never Have I Ever…’ – Why they do and what happens is up to you.“

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The Pianist in Apartment 23

Inspired by this post. Liebestraum is Franz Liszt’s most famous piano piece, told in 3 parts. The 3rd part, the part Harvey requests, is said to be about unconditional, enduring love. The kind that never fades, that never dies.

The cold morning air is bracing, and Harvey relishes the feel of the wind on his face, the feel of his feet hitting the pavement, as he runs through the paths of Central Park.

He passes another runner coming from the opposite direction and he nods. The man nods back, giving Harvey a once-over with a leer and Harvey smiles to himself and keeps running, turning the corner. He reaches the sidewalk outside the park and is greeted by a couple of ladies running toward him. They smile and he gives them a winning grin that starts to widen when he hears them giggle to each other behind his quickly retreating back.

He loves his morning run.

Finally he reaches the front door of his building and he stops, nodding at the doorman.

“How was the run, Mr. Specter?”

He checks his heart rate with a couple of fingers pressed to the inside of his neck and says, “Good, Henry. Thanks.” He watches a moving van pull into the underground garage, a couple of guys in the cabin, and says, “Someone moving in today?”

He nods. “Apartment twenty-three. Nice guy.”

“He had to have been, for Mrs. Grosvenor to give it up. She loved her place.”

Henry gives him a secret smile. “The new tenant convinced her she loved her grandkids in Florida more.”

Harvey laughs, shakes his head. “Well done. He’s not a fellow lawyer, is he?”

Henry opens the door for Harvey as he shakes his head “He didn’t say. But I did see them move in a baby grand earlier.”


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gimmemarveyalldaylong  asked:

Not a question, just a THANK YOU for sex shirt with visible chest, Harvey on my dash this fine day!

I was going to say you’re welcome and attach a coloured version… BUT I just spotted some amazing non-hetero behaviour, so instead -

That’s right, look at Mike’s eyes.  They are not on Harvey’s face when he asks, “Mike, what are you doing here?”  No, they are not.  All I have done is slow this scene down.  Mike is checking out that little patch of skin Harvey is showing off.

And I don’t know about anyone else, but it isn’t much of a stretch for Harvey to catch that subtle glance, and yank Mike inside by his tie and ……. NSFW!

anonymous asked:

Dunno if you're taking prompts but someone on here got me round to the idea of Selina/Harvey, so twocats fic mayhaps? Maybe Selina seduces him then robs him.

I am THRILLED to oblige!! Selina Kyle and Harvey Dent is a good ship my guy xx

“I know you understand how serious this is if I am coming to you for help,” a scarred hand tapped impatiently on the heavy wooden desk which sat in the centre of the small room, “given our history.”

“Aww Harvey,” placing a hand across her chest in mock forgiveness, Selina gave him a false smile, “that is all in the past! I had almost completely forgotten about that misguided attempt you made to dunk me in a bath of acid. I mean, what’s a little attempted murder between friends?”

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anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for writing the Batfam? I struggle with Bruce, Damian, and sort of Jason the most.

well i mean i believe in research being the biggest part of writing so reading a lot of the source material (pre 52 if you want it to make any sense) 

bruce boils down to him having a lot of Struggles. while it’s usually glossed over and regarded as moot point, he has extreme survivor’s guilt from the death of his parents that he actively tries to hide under multiple facades- bruce wayne the billionaire and batman being two of the key ones. i have a feeling that this was also something that pushed him towards taking in so many children (from dick to jason to caring for barbara to cassandra etc etc). his parental skills are more or less a reflection of him trying to atone for the deaths of  his parents by becoming a parent himself and sheltering children from the world. this is most likely why jason dying hits him so particularly hard- while dick and he had come into some tight scrapes, it’s the fact that bruce lived (and wasn’t even there) while jason died that haunts him the most. damian’s later death and resurrection gives him a manic obsession with reviving his son mainly because it worked for one of his children and he can’t afford to think that it wouldn’t work for another one. underneath all of his layers of cynicism and grumbly voice, he’s an incredibly tired man. he’s worked tirelessly on a city which is essentially a hellhole with little to no pay off. when he becomes an amnesiac in batman new 52, it’s literally one of the happiest times we’ve seen him in because he’s not burdened with the weight of the world. he’s forgotten that he’s alive where others are dying in gotham

damian is. not too difficult to figure out, but i damn the writers that white wash him and continuously gloss over the fact that he’s the product of a vicious cycle of abuse. talia raised Damian under extreme conditions and under an abusive hand because this was the behavior modeled to her by ra’s- and ra’s had a hand in how damian was brought up as well. he was crafted into a child solder, people who expressed concern over him (such as nannies/caretakers while talia/ra’s was out) were murdered in front of him, and he had the family legacy to live up to. as far as emotional development goes, he was pretty much shot in the foot the second that he was born into the al ghul household. he has incredible artistic talent (ranging from painting landscapes to music) but seemingly no passion for it because it was something expected of him. living under all of these crushing expectations, coming to america to live with bruce was nothing less than culture shock and confusion as, suddenly, he is seen as a human being and a child with valid opinions, and his actions have consequences. his superiority complex is incredibly shallow and not true to his actual personality, as it’s shown over and over that he constantly craves validation, and he uses this ‘superiority’ to fish for compliments. he wants to prove himself, but, most of all, he wants to atone. as a child, he doesn’t realize that he’s not responsible for things that his mother and grandfather forced him to do- his kind actions towards animals are reflective of him trying to give respect to creatures that he was once incredibly cruel to (he crushed a bat in his fist in one of his first appearances). this also has to do with the fact that he doesn’t know how to socialize with people well- animals are easy to talk with because they regard people with how they treat them, but people are complex. damian craves recognition and praise, all while it’s incredibly difficult for him to receive it through making genuine connections. even from his own father and mother, praise was scarce, and he was only truly well-received from dick, when he took up the mantle.

jason was a poor child raised in what was the worst crime neighborhood in all of gotham, with his addict mother, who he took care of by stealing/pawning off goods. he essentially became bruce’s ward out of sheer luck, because he stole the wheels off of the batmobile to pawn off, and bruce thought he had Some Stones for doing that. an integral part of his character is the fact that the scrappy little street kid inside of him never really died- despite the fact that bruce (someone from high society) takes him it, he never ‘becomes’ dick grayson (who transitioned into high society pretty well- i actually attribute this to the fact that he’s a performer and used to putting on appearances). while he’s usually characterized as the ‘angry’ robin, he was actually better behaved than dick was- unless it came to situations that directly concerned jason (or jason’s view of justice), jason was more or less content to do whatever bruce asked him to do, where dick frequently ran off. two key establishing moments in jason’s characterization as robin are when he and bruce pursue harvey dent (who jason’s father is in jail for being a goon for) and when jason pushes a rapist off of a fire escape. the first incident, jason becomes relentless in his pursuit of harvey, becoming nothing short of obsessed over catching harvey and getting justice. yet, over the progression of the story, harvey is put in danger (about to be crushed to death, if i remember correctly), and jason saves his life. he essentially says that he forgives him, but he won’t forget what he’d done to his family. the second event is when jason and bruce work closely with a woman whose abuser has diplomatic immunity. he’s a confirmed rapist and domestic abuser, and jason has bonded considerably with the woman (who, it’s important to note, shared similar physical traits to his mother). the rapist convinces the woman to kill herself (with the threat that he was coming back to see her, even though he was actually leaving the country) and, when bruce and robin arrive at her house, jason is the one to find the body. not bruce. bruce had been trying to pin drug charges on the man, but they wouldn’t stick because of diplomatic immunity and lack of evidence. when bruce and jason take him in (i believe his name was felipe), jason begs felipe to resist him so he has an excuse to beat him up, to deal some sort of justice. the excursion concludes with jason getting a second alone with felipe, and felipe falling down the fire escape. bruce asks what happened and jason says he fell (it’s important to also note that felipe had acted like the woman hanged herself with no relation to his actions, like an accident- which is most likely why jason wasn’t lying to bruce, but making a bitter quip about him pushing felipe off the fire escape). 

both of these events carry significance into his resurrection and his adulthood. by pigeonholing him into the role of dick grayson, bruce forgot one very key thing- that jason was raised on the streets, where there is a very integral system of loyalty and ‘eye for an eye’. this is apparent in his confrontation with felipe, and it’s also apparent in his entire, elaborate plan for bruce to kill the joker. keeping in mind his street background, it becomes increasingly obvious that his plan wasn’t a form of torture (by getting bruce to break his ‘no killing’ rule), but a means of forcing bruce to show that jason’s death was something worth avenging. jason had operated under the assumption that he was bruce’s child and, by all of the examples he’d seen in crime alley, when children died, their parents came for the killer. imagine that translating into the context of batman. jason can’t see any reason as to why bruce wouldn’t take the joker (of all people) off the market. in fact, he views it as plain disrespectful and indicative that he was nothing but a child soldier that the joker even remains in gotham, where he’s apt to break out of arkham and kill more people. jason woke up in his coffin crying out for batman because he still thought he and his mother were with the joker and he didn’t want to compromise bruce’s identity. to the point where he was clawing his way out of his own grave, jason remained loyal to bruce, down to even his secret identity while he was trapped in a box with limited air (and most likely insects). in jason’s eyes, however, bruce didn’t remain loyal to him. he’s marked by his tragedy in ways that the other bat boys aren’t- mainly because bruce doesn’t want to talk about it. jason constantly throws it in his face as a means of forcing him to be confronted with the fact that he died, he died and they still haven’t talked about it but it was such a dark time in bruce’s life that he instead crushes his feelings in his chest until they eventually explode in an emotional molotov cocktail. like damian, jason constantly struggles with his identity, and who he is as a human being (another reason why he became so fixated on having bruce execute the joker- he no longer had the label of ‘bruce’s son’ to fall back on, in his eyes. he was orphaned by literally every single one of his parents- from his addict mother, to his jailed father, to his real mother, to his vigilante father).

Marvey Music Short

Had to cut this from a fic I’m working on, but I liked it a lot, figured I’d share. 

Mike wakes to music.

He recognizes it immediately, and might’ve even without his freaky memory. An old jazz standard, In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning. His mom used to listen to the Carly Simon version on repeat, though as he got older he found himself more partial to Sinatra’s rendition. Whatever’s playing now is closer to that - old jazz curling at the edges like plumes of cigarette smoke or tired newspaper.

He’s expecting a record to be turning lazily out in the living room, or some state of the art sound system. He’s not expecting to see Harvey in a worn tee and bare feet, lithe fingers drifting lazily over a gorgeous electric keyboard, all dark wood at the base, weighted keys … The volume’s turned down low enough that he can hear Harvey humming deep in his chest and it makes him want to curl up there.

Mike knows how to tread lightly, a skill acquired sneaking out of all kinds of situations, so by the time Harvey notices him and startles, Mike’s close enough to pick up the left hand on his own. He slides onto the bench, futzing with a walking chromatic bass line until Harvey catches on with a loose melodic improvisation over the top.

“My mom used to love this song,” Mike says quietly and Harvey glances over, unreadable.

When he sighs, though, a hint of pain reveals itself and he says, “My dad was a musician. Jazz mostly. Sax.”

“That’s what all the Coltrane records are about.”

Harvey shrugs, but he doesn’t stop playing.

City light filters in through the high windows, multifaceted specks from a thousand signs and cars and intersections bathing them in soft luminescence, a visual counterpart to the bittersweet sweep of harmonies from a lost era. It makes Mike homesick for the first time in over a decade.

As the song winds itself to a close Mike realizes his face is wet, just a little, and he dashes the dampness away quickly with his shoulder.

“Mike,” Harvey says softly.

The excuse comes quick. “Just tired.”


“I’m fine Harvey.”


Finally Mike looks up. Harvey kisses him, too gentle to be fair, to deep to be casual, then tucks his fingers into the waistband of Mike’s boxers and uses the hold to drag him back into the bedroom.

10 Things that Would Surprise Me More Than Someone Trying To Murder Our President.

This past Friday, May 20th, a man, armed with nothing but his wit and the most cherished symbol of American values (a shoddy gun made in Taiwan), was shot at a White House security checkpoint after ignoring multiple verbal warnings and brandishing the weapon. First and foremost, I must divulge a bit of a secret with you: I’m not surprised. Or to put it in another, less apathetic context: I’ve long since moved past the notion of feeling a sense of dread whenever I hear about a crazed individual, fresh from mainlining incendiary Infowars headlines and vigorous masturbation featuring a jar of vaseline plastered with a picture of Michelle Malkin, trying to kill our president. The sad truth is, that if we were to go through the rest of Obama’s tenure as POTUS without another assassination attempt, my first thought would be that the United States’ collection of would-be-Lee Harvey Oswalds must be catching up on Game of Thrones or something. I mean, why else would they miss their cue like this?

There was always a longstanding joke within the black community (and, I suspect, anyone with at least two neurons capable of dry humping each other) that the first black president would have a rough go of it. Which for the most part has been true, but not to the extent that most people joked/feared. To my knowledge, President Obama is still alive and well, but if we’re totally honest, that fact alone is damn surprising. Not so much “My girlfriend has been siphoning my blood while I’m sleeping to sell on the black market. All so she can buy an expensive ass Tidal subscription and listen to Beyonce’s Lemonade.” surprising, But still surprising nonetheless. It hasn’t been for lack of trying either. In fact, that lack of trying has formed a supergroup with the Secret Service’s “Incompetence So Widespread And Resounding I’d Feel Better If This Was An Actual Conspiracy” way of handling things.  Seeing all of this happen with such alarming consistency can jade even the most optimistic of people. Not saying I was optimistic, that whole “Milli Vanilli Are Frauds” thing back in the nineties kinda knocked that out of me early, but for other people. So, with that introduction, here are 10 things that would surprise me more than another person trying to kill the leader of the free world.

1. Neiman Marcus having a discounted FUBU bin in the middle of all it’s stores.

2. A Cracker Barrel that has potatoes and gravy that doesn’t look like a baby with the Gerber shits left on a plate.

3. That, as a means of decompressing, Hilary Clinton bare knuckle boxes random homeless people under highway overpasses every time she loses a caucus.

4. That Chai Lattes are the product of experimental testing by the government to see if they can program people, on a cellular level, to be predispositioned to attending Josh Groban concerts. (Yes. Yes, they can.)

5.That Taylor Swift is Becky With The Good Hair.

6. That Netflix isn’t responsible for at least 47% of unintended pregnancies in 2015.

7. Rihanna making a song that does not have her saying the actual name of the song 4,385 times throughout every verse.

8. A major motion picture set in Africa that has the bravery to actually feature africans in the actual film about actual Africa.

9. Adam Sandler not being a walking argument as to why it would benefit society to euthanize once-beloved comic actors after their 20th consecutive miscarriage with a soundtrack they call a “movie”.

10. Donald Trump accidentally letting the n-word slip during a live broadcast that didn’t result in 22 point jump in his favorability ratings.