harumph harumph

anonymous asked:

Jim told me you are very possesive and jealous of nature...might that be true sebby?

I doubt /Jim/ told you that, my friend. And don’t try hiding behind an anonymous message, you know he /can/ find you if I ask him too. 

Also- that’s Colonel to you. Never Sebby. 

Dear people insulting Dylan’s beard,

He was in a traumatic accident. He’s been recovering for five months, hopefully eating his fill of chicken nuggets and napping. Facial hair does not equal homelessness or poor hygiene. You would probably not bother to shave your legs if you were in his position. He is still every bit as talented and kind, he is happily drinking Jamba Juices in public, and he rocks the beard. (◡‿◡✿)✧・゚: *✧・゚:*

OK so obviously we all l o v e when Damen dropped the pitcher, but hear me out:

what if after a while he *doesn’t* drop the pitcher.

like one day everyone is having a super official council meeting and Laurent, just being his torturous self, waltzes in wearing his teeny weeny chiton-tini and literally Damen gives no reaction. Everyone else is ogling him (and Lazar is of course desperately white-knuckling the table trying not to whistle) and Damen is just blank faced and business-oriented. he doesn’t even acknowledge Laurent except for a firm nod in greeting, and then it’s all “lets discuss these treatises”

and Laurent isn’t at *all* offended because—obviously not why WOULD he be? harumph harumph— and damen is still ignoring him, and oh, he’ll pay for this. And so begins a long and gruesome revenge plot––

Every day the chiton gets a little bit shorter, and more revealing. Maybe it started with sleeves (all of a sudden the new fashion in Akielos?) and now it barely has a single strap. and the hem is so short everyone in the palace is constantly red faced. and lets NOT TALK ABOUT the day laurent walked in with a slit in the fabric all the way up to his waste and

STILL damen is holding strong. 

So Laurent ups his game and at any given point can be found dramatically pressed up against walls with his arm over his head or stretched out over the furniture like a 1940s femme fatale.  And of course Laurent knows it’s a game by now but he’s having too much fun scandalizing everyone at court. this goes on and on and on until someone (probably Nikandros, let’s be real) is like ENOUGH because at this point Laurent’s next move is most likely going to end with him spread eagled butt-ass naked over his throne.

and Damen just laughs, throws his hands up in surrender, and knocks the nearest pitcher to the ground.

6

I have a new hobby:  Dig a hole after breakfast like a proper tortoise, wiggle around in my hole, and stare at Mommy until she gives me more treats.

My new hobby no longer works with Mommy, but boy does it work with Grandmom!