Snape: [taps quill]


McGonagall: [taps quill in response]


Umbridge: Stop that.


Snape: Stop what?


Umbridge: You’re talking about me in morse code.


McGonagall: Yes, that’s what we’re doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.


[later]


McGonagall, to Flitwick: That’s… exactly what we did.

The Adventures of Hufflepuff and Slytherin: When one of them is cranky:

When Hufflepuff is cranky:

Hufflepuff: *sitting on the couch* *wrapped in a blanket burrito style*

Slytherin: uh oh…is the hufflemonster back again?

Hufflepuff: I am a force to be reckoned with fear my wrath!

Syltherin: *recording everything on snapchat* fucking superb you funky little Huffle

When Slytherin is cranky:

Slytherin: *probably cranky from a hangover* *sleeping on the kitchen floor*

Hufflepuff: Slythhhhhieeee *pokes face*

Slytherin: *muffled* if you arent the grim reaper hear to take me away into eternal damnation…im gonna stab you in the eye.

Hufflepuff: but I made you cookies! To help make you feel better!

Slytherin:….*lifting head off the ground* you have piqued my interest….

The Hogwarts houses aesthetics

SLYTHERIN

Flickering lights in dingy pubs, will take none of your sexist bullshit, silent movies, flashes of lightning through storm clouds, overgrown rose bushes, cracked statues, the satisfaction of getting away with a lie, old ticket stubs, raised eyebrows and cold hands

HUFFLEPUFF

Sweet smiles and honey eyes, gentle touches, history nerd, freckle stained cheeks that dimple when they smile, falls in love with strangers, handwritten letters, excessive jewellery, grass stained knees, the mum friend, cries the at everything

RAVENCLAW

Paper planes, the rattling of rain against the window, half complete sketches, blue veined arms and flushed cheeks, distant laughter on quiet streets, notes in the margins of books, resting bitch face, fly away hairs and old eyes

GRYFFINDOR

Drive in movies, popcorn fights, smiling at strangers on the street, spiking the punch at school dances, dancing horribly just to make people laugh, long car rides, horrible puns, self-satisfied smirks, standing up for the little guy, always bruised somehow

9

Character Aesthetic // Draco Malfoy

“Every day, every hour, this very minute, perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this castle’s walls. But in the end, their greatest weapon is you.

Neville: One bonus of being an adult is grossly misusing modern slang on purpose and watching my students cry inside.


Neville: A fine example: the other day I pointed at a hippogriff and, while looking Teddy Lupin right in the eye, went “Man, is that bae or what, huh?” and the look on his face was something I will treasure for years.

4

S O R T I N G   H A T

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Hermione: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you’re going to die.


Harry: My favourite is “butt dial” vs “booty call”.


Hermione: It’s called connotation.


Draco: Also, “forgive me father, for I have sinned,”


Draco, winking at Harry: vs “sorry daddy, I’ve been naughty”.


Ron: Great news! Language is now cancelled.