harry you're better than this

Harry doing solo promo. Harry back on Twitter. Tonight Show Harry. Host and Musical Guest of SNL Harry. Magazine Cover Harry. Interviews and photos and more men falling in love with Harry. Award Show Harry. Premiere Harry. Red Carpet Best Dressed Harry. Fuck me UP, Harry.

so i MIGHT have a harry potter verse head canon for kingsman

like imagine michelle being a squib who fell in love with lee unwin, an average muggle. she stays a part of the magical world, a mild activist in squibs’ rights movements, but after marrying lee she doesn’t go back as often. she told lee about the wizarding world shortly before meeting her parents because they liked to make dinner without leaving the couch, and no one will look too closely at a squib’s spouse. he was delighted, and she got him dinky little trinkets that he absolutely adored for holidays and anniversaries (WWW tricks were his favorite, the dork)

and eggsy, their beautiful baby boy, has a tiny spark of magic from the day he’s born. she can tell he’s not a muggle from that, and michelle would love her boy no matter what, squib or muggle or wizard, but she assumes he’s like her because he doesn’t do any accidental magic for years

(until the day lee dies and she can’t stop crying and he wordlessly ‘accio’s his favorite bear from his room to hand to her, like he’s been doing it for ages the little brat)

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Heavenly Commentary: Order of the Phoenix
  • James: The fact that they don’t think Harry is normal gives me strength.
  • ***
  • Lily: He’s not well.
  • James: He’s traumatised. After what happened in the graveyard; he’s still coming to terms.
  • Cedric: You and me both Harry.
  • ***
  • James: Stay calm Harry.
  • Lily: Let it go.
  • ***
  • James: What is...? Dementors!? Really?
  • Lily: Eurgh! It was to be expected.
  • Cedric: You guys don’t seem very worried.
  • James: After everything Harry’s been through, a couple Dementors won’t be a problem. Plus he has his wand with him.
  • Lily: The real problem is, that these Dementors wouldn’t be here unless ordered. So who gave the order?
  • Cedric: Obviously Voldemort.
  • Lily: Maybe.
  • Cedric: I can’t imagine what it’s like. Watching someone you love in such terrible danger. And not being able to do a thing about it.
  • James: Don’t worry. You’ll know soon enough.
  • ***
  • Lily: That was pretty close though.
  • James: Yeah but he’s good. A nice fight does wonders. Plus Figg is here now.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Why doesn’t Dumbledore want Harry doing magic?
  • Lily: I’m not sure. James, go find out.
  • Cedric: Actually I’ll go. See my parents as well.
  • ***
  • James: Expelled?! For defending himself?
  • Lily: No. Dumbledore will- yup there he is.
  • ***
  • Lily: She must have heard Sev telling me.
  • James: Why did Harry think we’d talk about Dementors? I have better charm than that.
  • Lily: Barely.
  • ***
  • James: WHAT?!? He’s kicking Harry out?!
  • Lily: Petunia if you let this happen, I swear I will never forgive you.
  • James: That’s Dumbledores voice.
  • ***
  • Lily: The gangs all here.
  • James: Just after the nick of time.
  • ***
  • James: I wonder who the secret keeper of this place is?
  • Lily: After what happened to us, do you think he’d choose anyone but himself?
  • ***
  • Lily: He’s so angry.
  • James: He has the right to be.
  • ***
  • James: Dumbledore is keeping Harry in the dark.
  • Lily: Because he’s now public enemy number one. I wonder what Cedric will learn.
  • James: That losing a child, destroys a parent.
  • ***
  • Lily: THAT’S his mother?!
  • James: That’s the reason he left home.
  • ***
  • James: That was...
  • Lily: Intense. Molly can be cruel. Bringing up Azkaban like that?
  • ***
  • James: Fucking Cornelius Fudge.
  • ***
  • Cedric: The Ministry is trying to convince everyone that Voldemort isn’t back, that Harry's a liar and Dumbledore is crazy.
  • Lily: Yeah that is what we heard. How are your parents?
  • Cedric: As you'd expect. How is everyone?
  • James: They’re getting by. Welcome to the Order.
  • ***
  • Lily: He’s shaking.
  • James: I’M shaking.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Why would they change the time?
  • Lily: To force him to be late. Bastards!
  • ***
  • James: He didn’t want Dumbledore here.
  • Lily: Of course not. Fudge knows he can’t win against him.
  • ***
  • Lily: If I could I’d punch that bastard.
  • James: I know you would but he's in the clear now.
  • Lily: It’s not over. It's only getting started.
  • Cedric: What do you mean?
  • ***
  • James: I forgot about that picture. Great timing Mad-Eye.
  • Lily: Me too. Is that Molly crying?
  • Cedric: She’s seeing them all dead.
  • James: And Harry thinks he's next
  • ***
  • James: Of course she walks in when he's covered in Stinksap.
  • Lily: He's been covered in worse. He’ll be fine.
  • ***
  • Cedric: What is Harry seeing?
  • Lily: Thestrals. They pull the carriages.
  • James: But you can only see them if you've seen death.
  • Cedric: ...Oh
  • ***
  • James: When a hat is telling you something is wrong then you really should listen.
  • ***
  • Lily: Hermione is right. Looks like the fight has come to Hogwarts.
  • Cedric: Because none of us were expecting that, were we?
  • ***
  • Cedric: Let's see how many friends he really has.
  • ***
  • James: Don't you dare talk about Moony you fucking cow!
  • Lily: Calm down. Breathe.
  • James: I'm dead. I don't breathe.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Have a what?!?
  • ***
  • Lily: She’s torturing my boy. SHE’S TORTURING MY SON!! WHY ARE YOU SMIRKING?!?
  • James: Because. That bitch is trying to break him. And she has no idea who she is fucking with. But she will.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Umbridge and Voldemort? Is that possible?
  • Lily: No. She's a different type of evil.
  • ***
  • James: She lied to Filch for him. I approve of Cho.
  • Lily: Naturally.
  • ***
  • Lily: Poor Ron.
  • James: Family turning against family. Just like last time.
  • Cedric: Was it that bad?
  • James: It was hell.
  • ***
  • Cedric: She made it illegal for Professor Lupin to get another job?
  • Lily: Do me a favour Harry, destroy her.
  • ***
  • Lily: Harry got the D.
  • James: Severus GAVE Harry the D. Why are you laughing?
  • Cedric: Because Snape gave Harry the D. Do you think Harry wanted the D?
  • James: ...
  • Lily: I don't get it.
  • ***
  • Lily: His hand. It'll never heal.
  • James: He will not let this hag beat him.
  • Lily: She's torturing him James!
  • James: And my son won't break.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Do you think he'll do it? Teach them?
  • Lily: He will. As much as he’ll protest, he won't be able to stomach the idea of doing nothing.
  • ***
  • Lily: I don't know how I feel about Harry being better than a final year Durmstrang.
  • James: The word you're looking for is “proud”.
  • ***
  • James: The Hogs Head! I've missed this place.
  • Cedric: You used to come here?
  • Lily: Him and Sirius lived here.
  • James: Not true. We rarely used Aberforth. Firewhiskey was for special occasions.
  • Lily: Like Friday nights.
  • James: Saturday nights too. We were not picky.
  • ***
  • James: That went well.
  • Cedric: Yeah. I'd sign up.
  • ***
  • Cedric: No Quidditch...
  • James: No team...
  • Lily: Oh God. Now there's two of them.
  • ***
  • James: Now that Padfoot approves she is getting nervous?
  • Lily: She really is the smartest of them all.
  • ***
  • Cedric: He's connected to Voldemorts mind. That is not a good thing.
  • Lily: No. It really isn't.
  • ***
  • James: Our boy's a teacher.
  • Lily: A good one too.
  • ***
  • Lily: Don't react Harry. Don't react.
  • James: Ah shit.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Banned...
  • James: For life...
  • Lily: Calm down you two. She'll be gone by years end.
  • James: That doesn't help us now Evans!
  • Lily: Idiots.
  • ***
  • Cedric: What the hell Hagrid?
  • James: He's been pulverised.
  • ***
  • Lily: Voldemort has been trying to kill our son for 14 years. And I think I might hate Umbridge more...
  • ***
  • Lily: His first kiss. So sweet
  • James: He’s not doing too badly.
  • Lily: She seems into him.
  • James: Of course she is. He looks like me.
  • Lily: Arse. Cedric don’t they look cute together?
  • Cedric: I didn't say anything before but you realise that’s my ex right?
  • ***
  • Lily: Harry was the snake?
  • James: Dumbledore knows something.
  • Lily: Of course he does. But he's not going to tell.
  • ***
  • Lily: I love Padfoot but he's not the best at dealing with emotional stuff. Harry thinks he's going insane and Sirius tells him to sleep it off.
  • ***
  • Lily: Well well well. Ginny Weasley. Lioness.
  • James: What's that look on your face?
  • Lily: I have no idea what you're talking about.
  • ***
  • James: Frank...Alice...
  • Cedric: Poor Neville.
  • ***
  • James: Come on Padfoot do it. Just one curse.
  • Lily: Sirius don't be an idiot.
  • James: Be an idiot!
  • Lily: Occlumency though. So Voldemort IS in Harrys mind.
  • ***
  • Cedric: I can't believe this is how Snape treats Harry.
  • Lily: He's a complicated man with a skewed moral compass.
  • Cedric: If you say so...what the hell is in the Department of Mysteries?
  • James: A prophecy.
  • ***
  • Lily: Oh please God no...
  • Cedric: He broke them out. Voldemort broke them out.
  • James: And he just got ten of his most loyal and dangerous followers back.
  • ***
  • Cedric: I don't feel good for being the reason Cho just left but...I don't exactly feel bad either.
  • Lily: She misses you. I imagine she'll miss you for the rest of your life.
  • Cedric: Now I feel bad.
  • James: Don't son. It's not your fault. None of this is.
  • ***
  • Lily: This story will burn through England. The truth will finally be heard.
  • ***
  • James: Every time something good happens, something bad happens straight away.
  • ***
  • Cedric: I will never forget her face at this moment, for as long as I...well am.
  • Lily: Can we all appreciate what just happened? Dumbledore kept the old teacher, appointed the new and got another “dangerous half-breed” into the castle.
  • James: It’s a giant middle finger to Umbridge.
  • ***
  • James: SCATTER!
  • ***
  • Cedric: I can't believe Marietta would do this. She was always so nice.
  • James: I told you. Friend against friend. It's what he does.
  • Lily: Dumbledore is doing something crazy...
  • James: Holy crap!
  • ***
  • James: Fred and George. Making the Marauders proud.
  • ***
  • Lily: No Harry don't...and we're in the Pensieve.
  • Cedric: Why would he-
  • James: Oh shit. I know where we are.
  • Lily: Oh God. This is not the moment you want Harry to see.
  • Cedric: Why? What do you...ah...
  • James: You don't see it here, but Snape gave as good as he got. However I'm not exactly proud of how I acted.
  • Lily: Not ashamed either to be fair.
  • Cedric: You seem to really hate him Mrs Potter. How did you end up together?
  • Lily: It’s Lily and he changed from an arrogant arsehole to a semi-decent person.
  • James: She said that during our marriage vows. Really moving ceremony.
  • ***
  • Lily: I’ve never seen Snape this angry before.
  • James: He can't stop teaching him! He needs the lessons!
  • ***
  • Lily: Your son is ashamed of you. For the way you treated Snape. Let that sink in.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Hagrid has...a brother.
  • Lily: Half brother.
  • Cedric: Right...my mistake.
  • ***
  • James: OWLS. Let's go.
  • ***
  • Lily: They're going after Hagrid. That bitch is trying to take him out too.
  • James: Well they can tr- SHIT!
  • Cedric: Professor Mcgonagall!
  • ***
  • Lily: He looks exhausted.
  • James: Well he has fallen asleep.
  • Lily: During your last OWL? Really Harry?
  • ***
  • James: I'll be back!
  • Cedric: Where is he going?
  • Lily: He's going to see where Sirius is.
  • ***
  • James: He’s at Grimmauld Place.
  • Lily: Which means Voldemort is baiting Harry into a trap.
  • ***
  • Cedric: What is she do- no...-wait SHE sent the Dementors?
  • James: Even I didn't see that coming.
  • ***
  • Lily: What are you up to Hermione?
  • James: That arrow in the tree answer your questions?
  • ***
  • Lily: Goodbye you evil, twisted bitch.
  • James: And hello Grawp.
  • ***
  • Lily: They got free?
  • Cedric: Yeah it was pretty cool. Ginny is powerful.
  • ***
  • James: Here we go.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Where is everyone? It's completely empty.
  • ***
  • Lily: That archway...I think we're on the other side of it.
  • ***
  • James: Harry don't touch it. Please listen to your friends. Don't pick up that prophecy.
  • Lily: No...
  • ***
  • Cedric: That's Mr Malfoy!
  • James: And the rest of his Death Eater friends.
  • Cedric: Harry, run.
  • Lily: They can't run. They have to fight.
  • ***
  • James: Focus Harry! Don't listen to Malfoy.
  • ***
  • Lily: Keep moving! Don't stop!
  • ***
  • James: Leave the man baby! Find the others!
  • Cedric: Duck!
  • Lily: HERMIONE!
  • ***
  • Cedric: She's alive. Oh she's alive.
  • James: She won't be for long. Our kids aren't doing permanent damage and the Death Eaters are playing to win. They need to get out.
  • ***
  • Lily: He's leading them away...
  • James: Good man Harry.
  • Lily: Oh no...Neville.
  • ***
  • James: ABOUT FUCKING TIME!
  • Lily: Now it's a fight you son's of bitches!
  • ***
  • Cedric: Dumbledore! He's here! It's over!
  • Lily: Calm down. It's not over till its...
  • James: ...
  • Sirius: ...
  • Sirius: Oh that bitch!
  • James: Fourteen years. You don’t call. You don’t write. And you pick NOW to visit?
  • ***
  • Sirius: I probably shouldn't have taunted her.
  • James: Shut up Padfoot, they're still fighting!
  • ***
  • James: Harry NO! Stay away from Bellatrix!
  • Sirius: Where are we?
  • Cedric: Life after death. Seriously though shh.
  • ***
  • Lily: He.. he tried using Cruciatus.
  • James: It’s war and he just lost someone.
  • ***
  • James: He's here...
  • Lily: So is Albus.
  • ***
  • Lily: No no no no please God no
  • Cedric: What is it?! What's happening?
  • James: Voldemort is possessing my boy.
  • ***
  • Cedric: It’s over. He's gone.
  • James: No son. It’s not over. It's now open warfare.
  • ***
  • Sirius: He's in such pain. Harry I'm so sorry.
  • Lily: I can't watch this. I can't...
  • ***
  • James: Now you know. Now you know why he's after you.
  • ***
  • Sirius: In battle. Isn't that what we always said Prongs?
  • James: Wand in hand.
  • Lily: Well you failed at that James.
  • James: You didn't exactly live a long and happy life yourself.
  • Sirius: God I’ve missed you two.
  • ***
  • Sirius: The mirror. I thought he...he never opened it.
  • ***
  • James: And just like that he's going back. Broken and beat up and torn apart inside.
  • Lily: He’ll be fine. He has to be.
  • Sirius: He's not alone. He's got friends and family. It just wasn’t us.

I get so fucking mad when I watch interviews and the interviewers are trash. Seriously how hard can it be to find an interviewer that isn’t sexist or tries to objectify the artists or actors they interview, have some respect. I also hate interviewers that are so obvious while hitting on the person they are interviewing on LIVE television. THIS IS YOUR JOB!! You’re not in a club this is not a casual interaction. This is your profession, act like it. Don’t be unprofessional. I cringe every time I watch these interviews, they make me feel so uncomfortable and most important it makes the people you’re interviewing uncomfortable. I’ve seen this so many times I want to cry.

Telling a bunch of 21-23 year olds “I am younger than I look and very fertile” is so inappropriate. I as a 19 year old can see that, heck you as a 30 year old something woman should know that too. You shouldn’t hit on the people you’re interviewing, it’s awkward. Doesn’t matter if you are a lot older than them or their age, it is still wrong. Touching another person without their permission is also something that should struck you as an adult, as something that shouldn’t be done while doing your job (you shouldn’t touch another person without permission period). Even if it’s just hair, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care if this is your way of connecting with the fans, it’s weird and us (the fans) aren’t here for it. (1D on The View)

Isn’t there a class people can take so they learn how to interview properly. I’ll teach it if it’s needed, interviewing 101. Seriously telling a person “you look tired, maybe we should cut this interview short so you can take a nap” or “you need a red bull” is not something a person that has been doing weeks of promo for something they have worked really hard on and they haven’t had the time to rest properly needs to hear. It’s just plain rude. (Cara Delevingne on Good Day Sacramento). I can’t stress enough how upset it makes me to see these interviews. (John Green words perfectly why this interview was just wrong in this article)

Making comment after comment about someone’s looks and pointing out what you don’t like about it is plain rude. Some things should just not be said in an interview, like “I’m a toe guy and your toes are great”. It makes people really uncomfortable and it ruins the whole point of the interview. (Cast of Fantastic Four on Rock 100.5 Morning Show)

I will never understand if these interviewers ignore the awkwardness in the room or they are just plainly blind to what is happening. I know some people don’t know how to read other people but come on. When the people they are interviewing are very obvious showing that they are uncomfortable with what you are asking them, maybe I don’t know change the question? Move on. Instead of pushing it further. When the interview comes to a point where the artist needs to ask you questions because all your questions have been shit, you should really take that as a sign. Don’t make them beg you to ask questions about what they really are there for. (1D on Telehit Special Report)

I’m sick and tired of interviewers saying the dumbest and most offensive shit in interviews. You get the chance to interview these bright, talented and amazing people that have worked hard on something, don’t ask shit questions, don’t make them uncomfortable. These people are here to answer your questions, yes, but they shouldn’t have to put up with your bullshit. Ask about their new movie, the making of it, the new album, the new single, the music videos and everything about their art. Do not ask personal questions that no one really wants to know, and do not blame it on “oh the fans want to know” or “our audience wants us to ask” I can assure you we (the fans/the audience) sure as hell don’t want you to ask that. Don’t blame us for your lack of questions. Just do your research on who you’re interviewing and ask good questions. Basically what I’m asking you is, do your job. Be professional.  

These artists and actors have to put up with so much bullshit from some interviewers I’m surprised they can keep their cool for so long. I sure as hell could never do that. I applaud you for not saying anything rude back. I applaud you for being the bigger person. 

I’ve always wondered why the trope of ‘oh my god my best friend is dating my sister how TERRIBLE’ - or variations thereof like 'oh god I can’t date my best friend’s sister’ - exists because shouldn’t your reaction be 'oh hell yes my best friend is dating my sister if this works out we will be related and then they will NEVER be free of me’