imagine going to the grocery store and trying to buy kiwis and not even knowing what the fuck harry styles is up to these days and the clerk being like “Sorry, I can’t sell you these. You’re underage.”
Why they never talk about no magic home ec class in Hogwarts.
Clearly they have spells for it.
Molly Weasley has knitting needles going, and while house elves do the cooking at Hogwarts presumably they use some magic there to keep up with the giant work load, and iirc, Molly uses magic to cook.
So, where the home ec class at. Where the muggleborns with dread in their eyes thinking it’ll be a normal like, cooking class, [Harry all excited thinking he’s gonna ace this class or at least do alright, since he cooked for the Dursley’s], and then the first half the first class is a lesson about how you’ve got to earn the respect of your measuring spoons. Otherwise they’ll argue with you on how much has to go into a recipe. Harry has a kind of tentative conversation with his and they work with him after he realized they were an older set used to students forcing them to work for them. Talks to them gently and asks if they think a little more or little less should go into a recipe, or if they think he should add an ingredient now and then because they’ve made the same thing over, and over. Harry trying to make Molly a sweater in return for the one he got because he doesn’t know what to do with having gotten gifts, and only really managing a rather lengthy and oddly tensioned scarf made from the best yarn he could find out of a catalog he found on the shelf in the classroom. The professor was just delighted he’d decided to keep at knitting and crocheting [he may have… mixed the two] after they’d finished the unit, to make a gift.
Where’s Hermione having a long drawn out conversation with the home ec professor about how it’s ridiculous to devote magic to knitting when you can do it by hand, and the professor countering about the time saved by simply using enchanted needles or a charm. The conversation takes up the entire period but a teacher actually takes Hermione seriously for once because effective division of effort/time is a very important skill to learn and it’s what they’re there to teach. Wheres Ron answering all the questions like a fucking CHAMP because managing in his family has basically made his ass a pro at everything– budgeting a vault? On it. Spelling how many cauldrons to feed how many people with how much food? On lock like it’s fucking Azkaban. Best herbs and plants to grow for general– he has already finished the worksheet/in-class essay that was on the board and is fucking around with his quill. He gets called on, his string bean ass gonna have the answer while kinda being shocked at himself that he actually does, because– like many poor ass people– we manage resources really damn well when we know what we have. And we very rarely let it get away from us.
Where’s the rich-ass purebloods that know finances and shit because they’re taking over family blood-line affairs when their older and their parents drilled that into their heads, but can’t cook/sew/anything else to save their life till they learn. Where was Oliver Wood trying to make Healthy Food Things for the quidditch team for Extra Energy and just making a mess. The Twins making a totally harmless banana pudding and selling it in their store and NO ONE KNOWING WHAT IT DOES, everyone panicking because they’re SURE they did something.
We were robbed of so much is all i’m saying.
EDIT: Yes, i know the UK doesn’t have home ec. I made this post literally years ago and kept it around because it was funny. It was an american HP fan making a commentary that it would have been fun to see this class. Please stop telling me there’s no home ec in the UK.
harry potter, having retired from what he calls ‘wizardy bullshit’ now runs the Wizard Farmer’s Market in hogsmeade. when asked, potter stated that ‘it’s probably for the best, given that i’m still hella traumatised from all the death’
i need poc wizards and witches getting sick of the hogwarts food after so long. there’s only a certain amount of eggs, bacon, and toast they can have for breakfast, and roast beef and potatoes for lunch and dinner for their 7 years of schooling. after about a month of school, they’re all just where’s the goddamn rice??
i need korean witches begging the house elves for some kimchi, and indian wizards craving biryani, and mexican wizards just dreaming for some
because who can really live without their culture’s food for 7 fucking years?
date a girl who bakes. date a girl with a sweet tooth. date a girl who will always bring you your favourite snacks. date a girl who loves to take long trips out into the countryside. date a girl whose hands can turn into claws when she’s angry. date a girl whose whole purpose in life is to keep kids on the goddamn train. date the trolley witch.
Harry done with Dudley’s shit, year 1. Book purists will point out that the number of presents in the book is different but I can only think of the perfection that is the delivery of that line in the movie.