harry styles letter

Dear Lou,

Today I’m writing you this letter and I’m sorry if it took so long. I just didn’t have the time to write, with you not being here to read it and with me distracting myself to avoid wallowing in self-pity. I miss you Lou, you’re rarely here anymore. I’m sorry I’m being a whiny arse but I just hate not being with you. I don’t know what to do and I hate myself for even writing about this to you because you’re living your dream. The people love you and your song. I also know that this is your own kind of distraction from you know, Jay’s passing. I still cry about that every night you know? I miss her. So damn much. And you too. I miss making breakfast for you every morning and preparing your tea. I miss cuddling with you on the couch, not giving a rat’s ass about the paps outside or the whole world judging us behind our backs. I miss waking up every morning to your sleeping figure next to me. I miss your dainty wrists and your precious ankles. I miss your eyes and how they crinkle whenever you smile. I miss your loudness and your bubbly personality. I miss your voice. I miss.. you. I’m sorry for the tear stains. It’s just- my heart hurts Louis. Until when? Until when do I have to wait just so I could go to all your shows and support you wholeheartedly? Until when do I have to wait for you every time you leave? Until when do I have to wait and sit in silence as they slander your name in the front page of every newspaper for something you didn’t do? Until when do I have to comfort you and calm you down every time you cry because they made you do something shitty again? Until when are you willing to hurt yourself for other people Louis? You deserve happiness, and you’ll get it once you stop thinking about them and start putting yourself first. I love you, Louis Tomlinson. Love yourself, too. Come home soon. All the love. H

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.
We throw around the word never likes its nothing but a small rose petal. The word never is a doubled edged sword. On one side it says ‘I will never leave you’ and on the other it says ‘I will never love you.’
—  The Word Never
You claim to love her, inside and out, but the only time you call her beautiful is when it’s 3 in the morning and I’ve already turned you down.
—  girls tell each other everything, c.j.n.