harry potter book three

platonicallymarried  asked:

Hii Eliza! Harry Potter for the fandom ask thingy? Also, grudgingly catching up on things you've been putting off? what a Big Mood😂. Good luck luck on that!

See I WISH I could answer for Harry Potter, but I only read like the first three books and barely remember anything from the story as a whole. I’m more into Harry Potter’s universe and lore. Sorry! Also HAHA yeaaaah… I have a lot to do s o b

[Image: tweet by Titanium Cranium (@FelicityTC) including three screenshots of a Harry potter book in three different formats on Amazon. Text:

“Harry Potter on Amazon -

Print: $6.39
Audio: $44.99
Braille: $100.00

#CripTax”]

  • Ravenclaw: There's going to be snow!
  • Sytherin: Yup, enough to bury small animals.
  • Ravenclaw: Why must you be like this?
  • Slytherin: Why are you so excited about it?
  • Ravenclaw: Because now I can sit in front of the fireplace and read books.
  • Slytherin: You do that anyway.
  • Ravenclaw: Yeah, but now there's aesthetic.
Pre-Kerberos! Matt HC

[Pre-Kerberos! Matt]

★ Matt is the whitest of the whites, he eats one hot chip and it’s game over.

★ He’s allergic to pickles

★ He got Katie into aliens and cryptids

  • He doesn’t regret it                                                                             

★ Him and Shiro were friends, even before the Garrison.

★ He’s a little shit, the Garrison teachers expected him to be the perfect student since he was Sam and Colleen’s son.

  • They were wrong, he started a black market and wasn’t found out until it was too late. He made more than $500 bucks cash.

★ Whenever he was called into the office to talk about his future he just answered with “Kick ass, go to space, represent the human race.”

The cost of losing a bet with him was high

  • Once a kid had to go up to Iverson and ask if he was a furry and if his boyfriend was bigfoot.
  • They were required to help Iverson for the rest of the year during their free hour.

★ Anytime anyone asked if him and Shiro were dating, he did finger guns and awkwardly backed away.

★ Has been the cause of the science lab blowing up at least 5 times.

  • Shiro was apart of three of them.

★ Puns were his shit no one could escape

  • Shiro does this make us…..Kerbros?”
  • “If it weren’t for the laws of this land, I would’ve slaughtered you, Matt.”

★ Would fight you if you said Pluto wasn’t a planet

★ Is the most oblivious of people, two kids had a crush on him at the same time and he never noticed

  • But he can somehow notice when people have crushes on each other??

★ He met Neil Degrasse Tyson once and cried

★ Katie and him show their love by roasting each other on the daily

★ “I know you love those peas, Dad.” was only the tip of the Yikesburg™ .

★ He dyed Shiro’s hair once

  • It went as well as expected
  • It was neon blue

★ He smuggled Pidge into the Garrison once with the help of Shiro

  • Keith found them dragging her through the window
  • He just stared silently and walked away

★ He can do a perfect Yoda impression

  • Katie sadly found out when she on the verge of sleep at 3am

★ Subs always liked him for some reason, no one really knew how or why though.

★ He could name all 206 bones in the human body, and he taught Keith how to break every one of them

★ Katie popped out the lens in his back-up prescription glasses

  • He cried

★ He can quote back to the future word for word

★ “What are you gonna do punch me???”

  • The kid decked him
  • He broke their leg

★ He threatened to sell Katie to the Garrison for a pizza

  • A guy’s gotta do what they gotta do to get some decent food

★ “How’d you do in your flight test, Matt?” “Oh, I nearly killed Shiro. it’s chill though.”

★ He cries whenever he sees dogs since the Garrison is in the middle of nowhere

  • He once cried for more dog deaths in three school days than his entire life

★ “Hey Matt, high-five the stars for me okay?” “Of course, Katie.”

  • She hasn’t found out if he did or not.

★ It was his idea to name their dog Gunther

  • “What the fuck, Matt” “It haS CHARACTER KATIE”

★ Him and his mom are kickass together.

  • Everyone is low-key terrified of them

★ He crashed his bike into a tree once

  • “Lol you guys will never guess what happened”
  • “What”
  • “My bone is no longer in my leg”

★ “Do you think Iverson and—” “I’m gonna stop you right there.”

★ He hacked the speakers in the Garrison to play Bill Nye the Science Guy when someone said he wasn’t a real scientist

★ Believes in the multiverse theory and soulmates

  • Maybe in some other universe him and Shiro are happy

★ He’s pan and poly, fight me   

  • Katie got him a shirt that read “Pans for Bigfoot”    
  • He wore it everywhere

★ He finished the office in a week and stares at a security camera whenever something stupid happens

★ Someone confessed to him once and he panicked and said “Thank you”

★ Matt is actually a super good crossdresser???

  • Shiro and Keith are surprised???
  • Katie had to get it from somewhere y’all

★ Lowkey likes to make fun of Keith for being Texan

  • “Y’all’d’ve done good if y’all had listened to me.”
  •  “I hate living because of you, Matt.”

★ Bill Nye the Science Guy is his dad and you can’t tell him otherwise.

  • He’ll fight you if you say he isn’t a real Scientist

★ MATT REALLY LIKES AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER, LIKE I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT BUT I KNOW HE DOES.

★ Him and Katie learned Latin for kicks

★ Speaks fluent meme

★ **Drops one piece of candy on his room floor** “,,,,,,,,” **Kneels down to look for it**

★ 10/10 doesn’t know how to handle any crushes he has

  • He realized he had a crush on Shiro with the “help” of Katie and Keith
  • He tried to eat an entire jar of pickles afterwards

★ “Matt, you have a crush on my brother, admit it” “New glasses, who dis?”

★ “Shiro, when I was your age,,,,,,” “One day, you’re just not going to wake up.”

★ He somehow convinced Shiro to dress up as Watson while he was Sherlock

★ Hamilton’s number 1 fan

★ He spits out facts at random

  • “Y’know Alexander Hamilton spelt Philadelphia wrong in our Constitution?” 
  • Katie, who has been running on 3 hours of sleep: please shut tf up

★ “You’re a little shit Matt” “Atleast I don’t quote Fairy Tail any chance i get”

★ Matt: THIS BITCH EMPTY 
★ Katie, grabbing his backpack full of assignments from the Garrison: Y E E T

★ He hates coffee but will drink 5 cans of soda in an hour

★ “YOOOOO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY WANT” “SO TELL ME WANT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT” “I WANNA–”

  • Sam Holt voice: Please,,,,just go to sleep”

★ He’s a Gryffindor

★ Someone bet him that he couldn’t eat 2 of the new Grand Macs

  • He ate 4, Katie ate 5
  • Everyone was impressed and low-key terrified

★ Shiro: bro take off your glasses
★ Matt: bro everything’s a blur
★ Shiro: that’s my life without you
 Matt, tearfully: Bro… 

Iverson: any questions?
Matt: Yeah, first of all, how dare you?

★ “Would you slap Katie for $2,000?” “I’d break both of Katie’s arms and my own leg for a small fry from McDonald's”

★ Shiro gave him one of his sweaters when it was cold out once

  • Shiro hasn’t seen it since

★ He had an emo phase that lasted 2 months before he got tired of the eyeliner

  • Katie likes to bring it up at the worst times

He’s covered in bandaids 90% of the time

  • Most times it’s because he and Katie were fucking around while building smth

★ “The amount of uses for a dead horse is infinite” “Matt, honestly, just go to church”

★ His mind is just a constant loop of that scene in VeggieTales where the realized they didn’t have hands and just sadly looked at each other

★ “KATIE POKEMON PIDGEOTTO HOLT

★ Mashed potatoes can and should fuck him up

★ Learned to play the kazoo for meme opportunity

★ Once burnt off one of his eyebrows from boiling water

★ Him and Katie do the handshake thing from Zack and Cody

★ Whenever someone asks to see a picture of Katie, he just pulls out a picture of Pidgey from Pokémon

  • Matt: Isn’t she pretty?

★ He beat every island in poptropica

★ He can make really nice flower crowns nobody has questioned it

★ He talks with his hands a lot

  • He’s hit Keith in the face more than once because of it

★ You know when it snowed in Egypt for the first time in years and that guy had that giant ass snowball and was gonna fucking dunk it on his friend?

  • That’s Matt

★ He can dance?? Where did he learn it? Nobody knows

★ “Keith I came as soon as i heard! I can’t believe it I knew you two were close”
★“Wtf are you talking about?”
★“Punk is dead, Keith”

★ When the rumour that MCR was coming back you bet your ass Matt was ready to blast every song whenever he saw Keith

★ “I’m Matt, the radar technician”

★ He recreated BB-8 from Star Wars: The Force Awakens and cried

★ “Bitch, I am a gift of God, square up”

  • Get it? Because Matthew means gift of God??

★ He can solve a rubix cube behind his back in under 35 seconds

★ If he laughs hard enough he’ll start snorting

  • 50% of the time he won’t notice because he’s too busy laughing
  • The other 50% he’ll stop and frown in disgust at his own snort

★ He found out Shiro poured his milk in before the cereal and kicked him out their dorm

Matt: Hey, Shiro, want to stay for dinner?
Colleen: Do you want to stay forever?

★ Iverson lowkey reminds him of Snape, so by default he just doesn’t like him

★ “Work, work!” “Matthew!”
    “Work, work!” “Katherine!”
    “,,,,,and Keith”
    “The conspiracy theorists!”

★ Unlike his sister, he likes to garden and starts one in their backyard with their mom

★ Matt would totally force Shiro to cosplay Team Rocket for Halloween with Pidge being Meowth and Keith being an edgier version of Ash Ketchum

  • Shiro as Jessie and Matt as James of course

★ He owns every pokemon game in existence

  • Pokemon Snap was his shit when he was like 7
  • He 360 noscoped the Pokemon with apples

★ Has read all of the Harry Potter books three times

★ He tried to teach Shiro how to dance

  • They never finished though because neither of them could take the sexual tension

★ He was more into the galaxies and multiple universes part of space, while Katie was excited for the tech advances 

  • They were both 100% ready for aliens though

★ Shiro told him he couldn’t create the Marauders Map, so he did out of spite

★ Talked in nothing but Shakespeare for a day to piss off Katie

★ He loved ducktales

  • Too bad he can’t see the reboot

★ Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses was his shit

★ When Katie was born, he brought a potato with him when he went to the hospital to compare the two

★ He always wore sweaters that didn’t quite fit him, so he could have Sweater Paws

★ There was a supposed ‘haunted’ house on his street, so him Katie and the Broganes all snuck out to investigate

  • A window broke while they were in there
  • Keith shapeshifted into Sonic and bolted, Katie started hysterically crying and laughing at the same time as she ran, and Matt jumped into Shiro’s arm and Shiro fuckin’ booked it
  • They all agreed not to talk about it

★ Once in gym, a ball was about to hit someone in the face but instead of yelling “duck!” he yelled “dICK”

  • To this day no one has let him live it down

★ Uses an absurd amount of emoticons when texting

★ 10/10 would meme again

★ Used the word “Yo” too many times to count

★ Tried to bury Katie underneath a bunch of snow when she was 10

★ He can’t swim

★ He’s cried during nearly every Disney and Pixar movie


[Read Part Two// Post-Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

the second task

The second task of the Triwizard Tournament as seen by Lily and James


Lily: He is going to sleep through the bloody task.

James: Not if Dobby wakes him up first.

Lily: What difference does it make if he can’t survive one hour under the water?

James: Apparently Dobby thinks he can.

Lily: How?

James: I don’t care to be honest, he just does. 

Lily: What the hell is a Wheezy?

James: I think he means Weasley.

Lily: Oh dear god, they hid Ron under the lake. What happens after one hour? The song was perfectly clear–

James: Don’t be ridiculous, Dumbledore wouldn’t let them drown.

Lily: Are you sure?

James: *suspiciously* Yeah?

Lily: Thank heavens, Dobby brought Gillyweed.

James: It looks disgusting.

Lily: Very but it will give him fish-like traits, he will be able to stay under the water. But how the hell Dobby knew about this?

James: Yet again, I don’t care. Oh look, he heard it in the staff room, don’t fret it. 

The task starts and Harry takes the Gillyweed.

Lily: Told you it would work.

James: Have you, uh, ever met merpeople?

Lily: No.

James: Yes I can tell. They are not the friendliest of creatures.

Lily: Great. Brilliant. He is going to die.

James: Okay maybe you should stay a bit more positive.

Moaning Myrtle comes out of nowhere and points Harry in the right direction.

Lily: I think Myrtle is in love with Harry.

James: *to himself* She has a type then.

Lily: What?

James: Nothing.

Lily: Ew, they look so scary. I wonder who they took for the other champions.

James: Well, look no further. Is this some kind of a joke? They took Ron, Hermione and Cho. I bet he’ll try to save all of them.

Lily: *smiling* Yeah, probably. He takes after you.

Harry takes Ron and tries to save Hermione, too.

James: Called it!

Lily: He will get hurt while trying to save everything and everyone.

James: A true Gryffindor and a Potter, unnecessary bravery and the need to save everything.

Lily: Oh finally Cedric arrived. Why isn’t Harry going to the surface?

James: Just in case Krum and Fleur don’t come.

Lily: He took the song way too literally.

James: What the fuck did Krum do to himself?

Lily: A really bad transfiguration attempt.

James: *cockily* Amateur.

Lily: I don’t think Fleur is coming.

James: Fucking hell. Just go up Harry.

Lily: He is threatening the merpeople. Marvellous.

James: Oh, yeah, he really shouldn’t do that.

Lily: They are letting him save her?

James: *shocked* They are. But he will come in last. 

Lily: I don’t care. His heart is too pure for the life he is living.

James: The effect of Gillyweed is wearing off, he will drown.

Lily: Come on baby, come on a little bit more.

James: Harry, come on son. Yes!

Lily: *breathing again* I think I died again.

James: *angrily* Too soon.

Lily: It’s been thirteen years.

James: Still, too soon.

Points are being announced.

Lily: Cedric got 47, well he came in first so that makes sense.

James: I can’t believe they gave Krum 40. That fuck up of a transfiguration didn’t deserve anything.

Lily: He saved Hermione nevertheless, don’t be so bitter.

James: I’m not bitter

Lily: They gave him 45 POINTS for moral fibre. Merpeople talked to the judges. 

James: What the hell? How does each and every magical creature love this kid?

Lily: Who cares? He is tied in first place with Cedric.

James: *excitedly* He is! Isn’t he? Youngest wizard to win the Triwizard Tournament, I tell you. 

Lily: Like he needs anymore legacy.

James: Well he doesn’t but shit happens.

Lily: I need to mentally prepare myself for the third task Jamie.

James: I mean I don’t think the third task can be worse then the Hungarian Horntail.

Lily: You are talking way too early again.

James: Fucking– I take it back, okay? I take it back.

Alright SJM fans let's get real for a minute about another series you need to be reading

The Kingkiller Chronicles, by my hero Patrick Rothfuss.

Oh? Never heard of them? Not surprising even though they’re BETTER THAN ANY OTHER FANTASY SERIES I’VE EVER READ. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I JUST SAID BETTER THAN ANY OTHER FANTASY SERIES I’VE READ.

(Now ACOMAF is on par with TKC on a good day, but they are SO DIFFERENT the comparison isn’t really there… but I digress)

Do you like Harry Potter? LOTR? YOU WILL LOVE THIS SERIES. Two of the three books are out: #1 is The Name of the Wind and #2 is The Wise Man’s Fear.

You like world building books? Rothfuss spent YEARSSSSS writing these books, the world building is UNREAL.

Also MAGIC??? FEMINISM??? POLITICS??? EDUCATION??? ACTION??? ECONOMY??? ROMANCE??? ANGST??? MORE MAGIC??? MONSTERS???

And the CHARACTERS my GOD. You’ve got the badass protagonists who make stupid ass mistakes but then LEARN AND GROW FROM THEM. The innocent, quirky characters you would lay your life down for. The EVIL ASS MOTHERFUCKING CHARACTERS YOU WANT TO DIE A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH. The mysterious characters you NEED to know more about. You got ‘em ALL.

Oh wait - quick segue - do you like Hamilton? Or In The Heights? Or Moana? Of course you do, they’re masterpieces. And what do those three things have in common? LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA, who JUST SO HAPPENS to be a massive superfan of The Kingkiller Chronicles and IS GOING TO BE THE CREATIVE PRODUCER OF THE TV ADAPTATION COMING OUT IN A COUPLE YEARS. THAT’S RIGHT. Not to mention that a song from Hamilton was actually inspired by a scene from The Name of the Wind - but I won’t say much more on that.

If you like fantasy and fun and badassery and character development and amazing friendships and romance and woke af writing?

READ THE KINGKILLER CHRONICLES.

Thank me later.

  • Apparating in the Harry Potter books: the three D's, remain totally focused, a complex skill. Mess this up and you could loose an eyebrow or a fingernail or even a lEG
  • Apparating in Fantastic Beasts: lemme just apparate with a case full of dangerous creatures, how about we just apparate through this wall, I'll jump off a roof and apparate in MID-FUCKING-AIR if I want to
Book recs for Gryffindors!

Gif source | More recs: gryffindor (pt. 2), hufflepuff (pt. 1 and pt. 2), ravenclaw (pt. 1 and pt. 2), slytherin (pt. 1and pt. 2) | text by @viegsen and @juan-nieves

House traits: brave, daring, chivalrous, strong willed, just, honorable, courteous, reckless, short tempered, disregard for rules

  • JUSTICE: WHAT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO, by Michael J. Sandel - non fiction - Gryffindors care about justice, but knowing what’s the right thing to do isn’t always easy (as Hermione found out when her well intentioned plan to free the house elves didn’t exactly pan out). This book ponders on ethical dilemmas and the meaning of justice, and will help a Gryffindor navigate the grey areas of life.
  • THE HUNGER GAMES, by Suzanne Collins - YA; dystopia; romance - Well I don’t have to tell you about the plot of The Hunger Games, do I? IMO it’s pretty clear that Katniss is a Gryffindor, all that poaching and volunteering to go to a death arena in the place of her sister, and sticking it to the Capitol, then joining a revolution… girl couldn’t be more Gryffindor if she was carrying around Godric’s sword instead of a bow and arrow.
  • THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL, by Baroness Emma Orczy - historical fiction; adventure; romance - In the height of the French Revolution’s Terror, a mysterious English gentleman known only as the “Scarlet Pimpernel” recklessly risks his own life in order to rescue men, women and children condemned to die at the guillotine, and smuggles them out of France in daring escapes. Who is this brave fellow? Why, a Gryffindor, obviously.
  • THE ASSASSIN’S CURSE, by Cassandra Rose Clarke - YA; fantasy; romance - Ananna of the Tanarau is a pirate. When her parents try to marry her off to a guy from another pirate clan, she escapes, but the scorned clan sends an assassin after her. Problem: while fighting him, Ananna accidentally binds them together with a curse that can only be broken after three impossible tasks are completed. You guys, Ananna is such a Gryffindor - I mean, strong willed? check. Daring? check. Short tempered? Disregard for rules? check AND check. She’s awesome, and reading about her adventures with Naji, the moody assassin is a delight. Girl power! Lesbian princesses! Hilarious manticores! Shitty wizards! This book’s got it all.
  • LORD OF THE RINGS, by J.R.R. Tolkien - fantasy - LotR is really all about adventure, courage, friendship,  honor, daring, fighting against evil and all that, and there are so many Gryffindors in this story. Isn’t everyone from the Fellowship a Gryffindor?
  • JANE EYRE, by Charlotte Brontë - romance - Jane Eyre is a boss. Everyone likes to talk about Mr. Rochester, but what most struck me when reading this was that Jane had nerves of steel, and that is a huge Gryffindor trait. She stands up against bullies all her life, she has an inate sense of justice, and doesn’t take any shit from Mr Rochester, and when she leaves his house without a penny in her pocket it’s like, damn, this girl is brave as hale.
  • PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, by Jane Austen - romance - Isn’t Elizabeth a total Gryffindor? She takes no one’s shit and has a brave streak that shows when she stays true to herself, standing up to everyone that tells her she’s wrong in doing so. She has pride, a very strong sense of right and wrong, and can’t stand the thought of someone being mistreated for having some sort of disadvantage. She also jumps to conclusions and assumes a lot, which tends to bite her in the ass in more than one ocasion (again, Hermione much?).
  • NORTH & SOUTH, by Elizabeth Gaskell - romance - North & South is kind of like Pride & Prejudice in the Industrial Revolution. Basically imagine Mr. Darcy as an industrialist and Margaret as a gently-bred country girl who moves to a manufacturing town and is appalled by the working conditions, general poverty, etc, so she takes up the fight against social injustice, which invariably puts her at odds with Mr. Thornton. Now, he might be a (delicious) Slytherin but damn if Margaret isn’t a Gryffindor: strong willed and just and brave (and also a little reckless tbh). (Also I’ll have you Gryffindors know that you got my top 3 favourite romances, JE, P&P, and N&S).
  • HIS DARK MATERIALS, by Philip Pullman - fantasy; YA - This epic fantasy trilogy has everything a Gryffindor would love to read about: a story set in an unknown and fantastical place, brave and adventurous characters, creatures that are kinda like a permanent patronus (but more awesome than that tbh), and really creepy villains. I’m not gonna spoil you on these books because it’s really great going into them not knowing much, but I’ll just say you should pick up your lion daemon and follow Lyra while she carries on her quest to save her friend and then oh so much more.
  • THE DIVINERS, by Libba Bray - YA; fantasy - A lot about this novel feels very reminiscent of Harry Potter as character: you get a girl that wants to get out of a place filled with not very nice memories, a special power that puts her in quite a dangerous situation, and a brave nature that leads her to get involved in spite of her fear. Set in the 1920s and with a plot that centers around mysterious murders, this book features an obscure villain Gryffindors would both like to read about and take down themselves.
  • THE ONCE AND FUTURE KING, by T.H. White - fantasy - This is kind of an off-beat retelling of the Arthurian legends, and what could possibly be more Gryffindor than King Arthur and his brave knights and all that stuff about chivalry and quests, etc? I’m just gonna leave you guys with a quote from the book, which sounds just like something Dumbledore would say: “The bravest people are the ones who don’t mind looking like cowards”.
  • THE THREE MUSKETEERS, by Alexandre Dumas - historical fiction - I thought of Gryffindor for this book because reading it is the equivalent of Harry checking out Snape’s memories and finding out the Marauders were kiiiind of a bunch of dicks. Because turns out, so were the Musketeers! Sometimes the combination of certain Gryffindor traits like short temper, recklessness and disregard for rules (and a little arrogance, lbr) ends up being quite unsavoury.

make no mistake: the single greatest threat to our movement is twitter pundits who have read the first three harry potter books and nothing else

albvsxscorpy  asked:

Hi! I just wanted to let you know I LOVE YOUR BLOG! Your art is fabulous! You're so talented and you've inspired me to start drawing again :) I would love to see an inktober doodle of Scorpius and Albus who drifted off together during a study (cuddle) session in the common room with books and parchment scattered all around them :) Anyways if this inspires you I would be super happy to see it, if not I'm sure all your inktober art will be great and I can't wait to see all of it :) Thank you!

[ Inktober 2016.10.23 - Scorbus study snoozes ]

@bloodyginny asked: Hi!!! Love your blog to bits and I was just wondering if you can draw Albus making tea for Scorpius while he’s studying late at night? Thank you so much and have a nice day!!!:3

+ I also have an older ask from @damnyoumoffattttt regarding tea and snuggles, so I thought I’d pile all three prompts into one drawing! I really love doing backgrounds and creating nice warm atmospheres so common room doodles are my favorite to draw. Throw in some tea and your best friend by your side, and you’ve got heaven :D