harry potter and the chamber of secrets

In CoS when they try to sneak into Myrtle’s bathroom to ask her about her death, McGonagall catches them and Harry makes up the excuse that they wanted to see Hermione in the hospital wing and Minnie doesn’t give them detention and then comes this and since we all know Harry’s dumbest excuse, here’s the official suggestion to rate all of Harry’s excuses on a scale from

to

[Image: tweet by Titanium Cranium (@FelicityTC) including three screenshots of a Harry potter book in three different formats on Amazon. Text:

“Harry Potter on Amazon -

Print: $6.39
Audio: $44.99
Braille: $100.00

#CripTax”]

  • Voldemort: The Boy who Lived... come to die
  • Harry: Die?😉🔥 Only quitters let death catch up!😤🏃🏻 Chosen One⚡️👐🏻 Rip Dumbledore💙😭 Keep fighting!😵 Gryffindor quidditch 🔱❤️ Captain😅😅 The Prophet is for Pussies 😤😤 Merlin #1✌🏻👐🏻 Friends💛

ok so Ron says he doesn’t like spiders because when he was 3 the twins turned his teddy bear into a spider right? the twins are only 2 years older than Ron, which means they were FIVE YEARS OLD when they did this and I’m just??????? like they were five and they didn’t even have WANDS and they managed to deliberately turn a bear into a spider???? even if they managed to steal a wand from their siblings or parents that’s a really tricky bit of transfiguration and at age five most kids are just doing uncontrolled magic….. like TBH in my opinion Fred and George had more innate talent than the trio combined but they just wanted to chill and do pranks and I respect tf out of that

  • Umbridge: Boys and girls are not permitted to stand within eight inches of eachother!
  • *Gay Wizard laughter*

it really disappoints me that jkr didn’t bring back the ford anglia in any of the books after chamber of secrets. like how great would it have been if, in deathly hallows, when harry is in the forbidden forest, ready to die, the car just comes speeding through, plowing down voldemort and all the death eaters…just imagine that