harry feversham

8

Get to know me MEME - [4/7] Favorite Actors: HEATH LEDGER

“No amount of money changes what I do between ‘action’ and ‘cut’. Before I got into the industry, I never imagined I’d have anywhere near the money I have now. I don’t need any more. It’s not that I don’t want the money, it’s just that I would have been really happy sitting on a beach or surfing every morning. I never had money, and I was very happy without it. When I die, my money’s not gonna come with me. My movies will live on - for people to judge what I was as a person. I just want to stay curious.”

36.

On this day, Heath Ledger would have been thirty-six years old. 

What can I say? I miss him like crazy. It feels like the way tears do when they’re lodged in the back of your throat when you’re trying not to cry. 

I remember a few years ago, it was spring, and I was just sort of puttering about my room not doing anything, and a song that is very special to me came on. It immediately made me think of Heath, and I remember standing by my bed and feeling so overwhelmed by his loss that I collapsed against the corner of it, falling on my knees and sobbing because I missed him so much. I cried until I was desert-dry. It’s… almost unfathomable how much you can miss someone you’ve never met, how missing someone so much can paralyze you for several breath-shuddering moments. 

Heath touched my life in a way that no one else ever has. He made me want to be a better person, to always be kind to people, and to always be grateful. I know I am a complete stranger to him, and in all honesty, he a stranger to me, but there have been times where I honestly felt that I was in love with him. It feels silly to say; it can’t be possible to love someone you’ve never met, someone who doesn't’ even know you exist, but that never stopped me from feeling the way I did, and the way I still do. 

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him in one shape or another. I know Heath has affected each of us in different ways. To some, he was an actor who passed away too soon, to others, someone to look up to, to admire, respect, or to love. 

Despite only knowing him briefly before his passing, I can honestly say his presence continues to affect me. I am beyond grateful for the path he chose in life, for deciding he wanted to make films. I got to laugh with the Joker, be a misunderstood outcast with Patrick Verona, chase my dreams and change my stars with William Thatcher, plot ridiculous schemes and woo beautiful women with Casanova, redeem my honor and courage with Harry Feversham, and I got to be Dan, someone who desperately needed a vein, and drifted between oblivion, bliss, and despair…. 

Even in all of this, I will always remember Heath as the man with the messy curls, crinkled brown eyes, and big, boyish grin that makes my knees weak and my heart skip a beat. 

Thank you for everything.