harreh hazza harry

I Always Knew

Summary: You break up with Harry because he cheated on you, and you can’t take it anymore.

Rain pelted against the bedroom window, and I found it hard to stay calm. The television echoed throughout the room even though I wasn’t watching it. It created a distraction but failed miserably. There were too many things on my mind to pay attention to anything else. Every time I looked at the clock it was later than the last time I checked.

Suddenly, I could not sit still anymore. I could not simply wait for the inevitable. It would eat me alive, and I sacrificed too much to subject myself to the crippling torture of waiting around.

I forced myself out of the bed and stalked over to the closet. I quickly changed into some pants and a t-shirt. Then I began to angrily pull out some of my clothes hanging up to store in a duffle bag. Words did not describe the hurt and fury I felt all at once. It was weighing over me heavily, and I couldn’t ignore it. My world had been crumbling before me all along, and I was now reaping the benefits of it.

I was packing on autopilot. The numbness was soothing, and I welcomed it with open arms. I welcomed anything to get my mind off of just how much this crushed me. It was when I heard his car pull up that a sense of apprehension washed over me.

I zipped the duffle bag closed. Then I made my way downstairs just as he appeared in the doorway. His hair was unruly like he had been running his fingers through it or rather someone else. I looked at the way his lips were a shade darker than normal. I cringed at the thoughts running rampant in my head. They just refused to leave me be.

He saw me almost immediately and paused. His emerald eyes trailed down to the bag in my hand, then back up to my face. I gulped, preparing to confront him rationally. I was too naïve to believe that I could be capable of such. There was no such thing as rational when it came to Harry.

“Uh, hey.” He greeted, eyeing my bag again wearily.

I cleared my throat. “I’m leaving. Y/BFF/N will be here tomorrow to collect the rest-“

“Leaving? What are you talking about? Where are you going?”

“That no longer concerns you. Harry, I’m done.”

He stepped towards me only for me to take a step back. “Y/N, please explain to me what I did this time. Did I forget to take out the trash? Or, are you upset that I didn’t check in with you? What could it be now?”

Agitation pooled in my veins. “I can’t do this anymore. Now, if you’ll excuse me…I would like to leave.”

His featured softened when I attempted to move past him. “Listen, I’m sorry. It doesn’t matter what I did. I’m sorry. Please stay.”

“It does matter! You can’t just sleep with whoever the hell you want and expect me to be okay with it! You can’t sneak around at any hour of the night and climb back into our bed! I’m not some doormat that you can come and use as you please. I’m a person who has feelings, Harry.”

“Who told you that?”

I scoffed. “No one had to tell me. I can smell her on you for God’s sake. I notice how distant you’ve become. You don’t even call me in the middle of the day to say ‘I love you’ anymore. I have no idea who you are. Frankly, I don’t want to wait around to find out exactly who that is.”

His eyes glistened over. I watched his irritation from earlier change into a look of remorse. He had every reason to be guilty, and I had every right to be angry at him. All the love I gave to him was stolen and given to someone else as I watched. I was too blinded by my love for him to recognize the far away expression he always had.

I remember the nights much like this when I stayed up…just waiting. Waiting for him to come home to me. Waiting to hear his car pull up outside our house. Waiting for him to climb into bed beside me. Waiting for him to wrap his arms around me and whisper how much he missed me. Waiting and waiting for the illusion he engraved into my mind as

What he gave me was far from love. If you love someone, you would never treat them like he treated me. He would have never even considered or entertained the thought of being with another woman.

“Y/N, it was just a onetime thing. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“But you did hurt me, Harry. And look where it got you…”

I didn’t even want to point out yet another one of his lies. I know he was with her more than once. I know everything he said to me in the past month is a lie. I know he didn’t love me like I loved him. I always knew.