harper williams

I know everyone loves the concept of me & me:a squadmates hanging out, like liam & kaidan, jaal & garrus, drack & wrex, but consider:

  • Jaal and Ashley reading poetry together in the shuttle bay by the hum of the engines, sending each other emails with their favourite verses late at night
  • Tali, someone who’s never known home, and PeeBee, someone who never stays long enough to have one, working on rem-tech together and bonding over every fascinating new discovery as they help each other make their home there, on the ship
  • Thane and Vetra, each one of them making sacrifice after sacrifice to protect the only family that they have left, looking at each other with silent understanding because they just know how hard it is, not always knowing if they’re doing the right thing
  • Cora and Liara, chatting about Asari culture and the pressures to succeed and all things science through the night cycle, with Liara watching over Cora’s garden when she’s away on a mission
  • Suvi and Mordin geeking out, doing weird experiments together, Mordin encouraging Suvi to Lick the Rock and taking notes on all her observations
  • Gil and Kaidan, drinking beer and having late-night poker games, rebuilding a sense of normalcy with each other that they haven’t felt in a long time
  • Liam and Garrus, two people who are always trying to bring others together, struggling between their sense of duty and their desire to do what’s right, helping each other find a balance between the two
  • Drack looking at Jack, with all of her anger and sadness and discomfort, and immediately taking her under his wing, treating her at once with his characteristic roughness and a protectiveness as if she was his own grandchild
Which Classics Author Should You Fight?
  • Charles Dickens: The Victorian equivalent of a white male tumblr meninist. Fight his past newspaper blogger ass, though the guy does write about his own "tragic experiences", so be warned that a caricature of you will probably be appearing in his next novel.
  • The Brontes: idk they're from Yorkshire I wouldn't risk it
  • Dante Aligheri: Yess he spends all his time in his room writing self-insert Bible fanfic and never goes outside, 10/10 would fight this nerd. You will win. Easily.
  • Mary Shelley: Why would you want to fight Mary Shelley???? She's nice and bad things happened to her and she invented scifi! Go reevaluate your life choices.
  • Victor Hugo: Don't. He will kill you otp viciously and then spend 38 pages describing someone's hat.
  • Jonathon Swift: It's 50/50 you'll win, but you might fall asleep from his long-winded prose before you land a punch.
  • William Shakespeare: Little is known about him, other than the fact that he had free access to bears and swords and a penchant for revenge and mass murder as plot devices. If you're gonna fight him, watch your back.
  • C.S. Lewis: Whiny and allergic to adjectives and allegorical and super racist. Fight Him. So long as your childhood can take it.
  • J.R.R Tolkien: Shakespeare's biggest fan, so a total dork. Also old and shell shocked. Your call.
  • William Thackeray: Him and his friends will get drunk and gang up on you. Not advisable.
  • Alexandre Dumas: He was once described as "the most generous, large-hearted being in the world" and had extensive military training. Just... don't.
  • Harper Lee: Still alive, so she's got a foot up on the rest of them.
  • George Orwell: Total fuckin' politics nerd. Will keep a diary of the fight.
  • Jane Austen: You'd feel too mean, it'd be like punching some harmless lana del-ray book club chic. Fight her if you want but be aware of the emotional consequences.
  • Mark Twain: Constantly angry looking. Just look at that mustache. You want to fight him already, don't you?
  • Oscar Wilde: The sassiest little shit ever. Be prepared for cane wielding sassmeister. You'll probably lose, but it'll be worth it.
6

Humans, from the planet Earth, are the newest sentient species of notable size to enter the galactic stage and are the most rapidly expanding and developing. They are generally seen to be very intelligent, abnormally ambitious, highly adaptable, individualistic and thus, unpredictable. They have a powerful desire to advance and improve themselves, and do so with such assertion that the normally staid Council races have been taken aback by their restlessness and relentless curiosity.

How Bioware Makes Decisions...
  • Bioware Art Department: *Designs hot soft butch who makes the underwear of any wlw who sees her burst into flames, and makes thousands of women who considered themselves straight realize they are lesbians or bisexuals.*
  • Bioware Art Department: *Giver her a haircut right out of Butch Lesbian Hair Quarterly*
  • Bioware Art Department: *Adds two interlocked Venus symbols shaved into her hair*
  • Bioware Art Department: *Adds a Labrys tattoo*
  • Bioware Art Department: *Puts her in a "No one knows I'm a lesbian" t-shirt*
  • Bioware Art Department: *Adds a rainbow flag patch to her outfit*
  • Bioware Writers: *Include four years spent living in a lesbian commune as part of her backstory*
  • Bioware Writers: *Have her openly and loudly thirsting after another woman*
  • Bioware Story Manager: *looks at all of this*
  • Bioware Story Manager: "We'll make this one straight, because we want to avoid stereotypes."
  • Bioware Fans: "AGAIN?!"