harold imagines

*buying harry’s rolling stone issue*

cashier: i heard he like put out solo stuff.

me: haha yeah! it’s pretty good.

cashier: maybe i’ll have to take him seriously.

me: *internally* bitch, you best respect my mother fucking man. do you even know who you’re talking to? that man is the sunshine of my existence. you don’t deserve his silky smooth voice in your life. how dare you? who do you even think you are. you got my eye twitching. my palms are sweating. you’re lucky we’re in a public place or i’d whoop your little ass.

me: haha yeah.

Active

Word Count - 4250 words
Not proofread

WARNING: Mature content, very smutty.

Based on the request: pls write where y/n and harry have sex a lot and end up getting pregnant but are happy about it.


You woke up with a moan at the back of your throat and strong hands digging into your hips. This was how most mornings were spent; one of you waking the other with your mouth of their body. Your back arched as he sucked on your sex all while two fingers were moving inside you.

His moans vibrated through making the fire in the pit of your stomach burn brighter. Your hands were thrashing around you, gripping the sheets just wasn’t enough. After a deep fuck of his tongue into your throbbing sex, you came, hard, with a yell.

Harry drew it out as long as he could, stopping when you had recovered your breath. You turned you head to the alarm clock of the bedside table seeing the time; 9:07 in the morning. You had plenty of time before you had to be up.

Harry’s face appeared in your vision as he collapsed on the bed next to you, his breath heavy. Your eyes were drawn to the rock-hard bulge in the boxers; your mouth watered at the sight. When you looked back up at his face, his smirk was a combination of smug and confidence.

“Your turn, love.”


“Babe, you want some lunch?” You called to Harry from the kitchen to where he was sprawled across the couch. You were both dressed and ready for the day despite having no plans to leave the house. You had to be in the same room as him to hear his response.

“Think I’m still full from my little snack before breakfast actually, thanks tho’.” With a little knowing smile, he turned to look back at his phone, leaving you with the thoughts of your wakeup call.

Keep reading

I need to have a talk with the person that made this… 😐… 😍😭😭

How would you feel?


I want to dedicate this story to @littlewhitelies1403 and @whoopsharrystyles

I hope you will have some day such an amazing day in your life, with a man who loves you genuinely. And I hope I can share this amazing and wonderful day with you. I will sit on the obligatory “single table” watching you while you’re dancing. And maybe I will have one or two tears in my eyes. 

I hope you will be happy one day, I hope you will find your imperfect, perfect man. 

All the love 

E. 


The paper lanterns wiggle in the balmy summer night wind. It’s way after midnight and the crowd has thinned out. Only a handful of guests are sitting on the round tables which are covered with long white tablecloths. They are your closest friends, your parents, his parents, and his sister with her boyfriend. It was a beautiful day, better even than you dreamed. You had dreamed about this day since you were a little girl, and THIS day bested your dreams. He did everything so that you have the perfect day.

You’re  drunk by the night, he too but you saw him at the bar with his best man, drinking some whisky, but also searching for your eyes.

You’re talking to some guests sitting near the dance floor. Your hand rests on the back of the chair, which is also white and the cold metal cools you off. You danced a lot, with your father, with your uncle and of course with your new husband. As you heard Ed’s voice singing for the first time on your wedding you had to smile. He knows you so well. Harry requested Ed play some of your favourite songs as he twirled you around the dance floor.

Now that the candles are nearly burned down, the waiters start to dismantle the buffet.  Your legs are hurting and the corners of your mouth are hurting too.  You laughed and smiled all the time.

Harry touches your shoulder gently while he’s nodding in Ed’s direction, and he smiles knowingly. Ed walks to the band and grabs his guitar.

You feel his soft touch.  Excusing yourself, you turn around to look into his green eyes. His hair is a little sweaty, and he doesn’t wear his jacket anymore. The sleeves of his white shirt are rolled up, so you can see his anchor tattoo. With tender fingers you touch his anchor. His heart skips a beat as he feels the metal of your wedding ring on his hot skin. You made him the luckiest man in the whole world today. You married him today, and he wants to scream it from the rooftops.

“What’s the matter?” you ask him with a soft, tired smile.

Ed starts to play. It’s an unknown melody that you have never heard before. You frown.

Keep reading

Everything amazing in the Captain Underpants movie:
  • The inclusion of the ‘Everything Except Fabric Softener Store’ and the ‘Piqua Pizza Palace’ in the backgrounds.
  • The various art/animation styles used which really made it feel like a kid’s imagination.
  • Harold’s complete inability to chill.
  • “I noticed that this tuna casserole had your name spelled out on the top in jalepeno slices.” 
  • Ms. Ribble’s voice was PERFECT!
  • The entire scene where they reopen the closed off art room.
  • “You’ll have a weird haircut and I’ll be wearing a suit for some reason…”
  • Melvin actually, physically, has no sense of humor.
  • Edith the Lunchlady, enough said.
  • SAD WORM, JUST A WORM THAT IS SAD.
  • “We are so guilty.” 
  • How perfectly depressing Mr. Krupps house is.
  • “The bee is not the bad guy.”
  • Harold successfully parallel parking an entire construction crane. 
  • All of the comic book style scenes, and how much Captain Underpants ADORES the comics themselves.
  • “Benjamin Krupp you sly dog.”
  • “We’re closed for Ebola.”
  • The revenge of the Stuck-On-Hold Lady.
  • The army of Talking Toilets.
  • Edith is into Captain Underpants just as much as she’s into Krupp.
  • The inclusion of George and Harold’s ‘silly’ names from the fourth book.
  • Captain Underpants actually successfully flirting with Edith.
  • They mention New Swissland.
  • The inclusion of Captain Underpants’ catchphrase thing ‘Faster than a speeding waistband, more powerful than boxer shorts, and able to leap tall buildings without getting a wedgie!” 
  • THEY INCORPORATED THE FLIP-O-RAMA AND EVEN HAD ONE OF THE PAGES TEAR JUST LIKE THEY USED TO IN THE BOOKS IF YOU WEREN’T CAREFUL!!!
  • The unadulterated glory that is the Treehouse.
  • The Tattle Turtle 200
  • “I can pee a little in my underwear and no one can say anything!!” “Dude where are you going with that? Do you actually do that?”
  • “Not actual magic, we aren’t practising the dark arts…”
  • He didn’t say it but god if George’s face didn’t scream “I can’t believe I’m about to do this…” as he turned Krupp into Captain Underpants so he could save them
  • PROFESSER PEE PEE DIAHREANSTIEN POOPYPANTS ESQUIRE
  • “It’s a bird!” “It’s a plane!” “It’s an egg-salad sandwich!” 
  • “How many a’s does Tra La Laa have? I’ll just go with eleven.”
  • Mr. Krupp lives on Curmudgeon Road.
  • Underpanty World, led by Big Daddy Long-Johns and Princess Pantyhose.
  • “Potty humor is like, the lowest form of comedy.” “DON’T YOU SAY THAT HAROLD!”
  • MR. KRUPP READ ALL OF THE CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS COMICS AND ACTUALLY FUCKING SAID THAT HE THOUGHT THEY WERE FUNNY (Hell essentially froze over)
  • “Is that high def cause you can definitely tell that that’s us…”
  • Harold’s obsession with Dolphins.
  • “…how much of that was out loud…?”
  • Uranus
  • Captain Underpants putting all of the teacher’s in detention.
  • Professor Poopypants’ impressive collection of lip-balms.
  • Harold’s hand gets biggified.
  • The movie perfectly ending with George and Harold clutching desperately to Captain Underpants’ cape as he flies away while they shout ‘Here we go again!” 
  • The end credits all being actual comic style scenes from all the books.

Feel free to add your own!!

Masterlist

Our Harry Dreams.

In order of oldest to newest

*=Requested

1. Pregnancy Problems

Dad Harold. In which you go through the good and not-so-good of pregnancy.

2. Breaking Point  Part 2*

SMUT. In which you miss him so much you reach breaking point.

3. Worried Sick*  Part 2*

Dad Harold. In which your daughter is irresponsible.

4. Changing Rooms*

In which he reassures you of your worth.

5. Big Spender

Dad Harold. In which you have a problem with his problem.

6. Figuring it out*

Dad Harold. In which you have a typical mom day and your son comes out.

7. Cuddles are the Best Remedy*

In which Harry comes home sick.

8. Noticed

SMUT. In which your horny and Harry just won’t pay attention to you.

9. Locked out*

In which Harry comes to rescue you…eventually.

10. Chaos*
Dad Harold. In which you have to leave and Harry is left to hold up the fort at home.

11. Missin’ It
Dad Harold. In which a quiet night in stirs up some nostalgia for Harry.

12. Active*
SMUT. In which you and Harry are always having sex and you fall pregnant.

13. Mute*
LIGHT SMUT. In which Harry is on voice rest and you are very stressed.

Imagine your OTP - double date & oysters
  • Maggie: I don't know, Luthor... I think she's kind of...
  • Lena: I'm telling you, she's totally gonna...
  • Alex: *full mouth* What?!
  • Kara: ohnomnomnomnomnomnomnom *happy chipmunk cheeks*
  • Maggie: Sooooo Danvers, you're like to spit or swallow?
  • * danvers's sisters didn't see it coming *
  • Alex: *looks at the plate* *spit out*
  • Kara: *large gulp of surprise*
  • Maggie: I mean the oysters you're eating!
  • Lena: Told ya... *sipping her wine*
  • Maggie: *hands 20 bucks to Lena* Dammit...
Penguins, Tigers, and Elephants

“Everything alright, pet?” Frowning, he strokes over your aching back. It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining and no clouds are in the sky. It’s the first time you can go out with a blouse and ballerinas. But you’re wearing your old sneakers because you want to walk comfortably even if you don’t feel comfortable at all.  

You’re glad that the weather allows you to go out with your daughter; the winter time was exhausting. Playing inside is not the same as playing with the other kids on the playground. You were delighted as Harry took her out for some fun in the snow. The two built a snowman, drinking hot cocoa afterwards,  and she was sad as the carrot was missing the next morning.

She’s a little whirlwind and nobody is safe, not even your vases and the Christmas tree. One Christmas ball fell victim to her. Thank god you used the old Christmas balls and not the pretty ones which your mother gave you once.

You hold your daughter’s hand as she starts to pull you forward.

“Just a little tired,”  you smile at him, closing your eyes. He kisses your forehead, sliding his hand down your arm until he grabs your daughter’s hand. She looks with surprise up to her dad as he takes her hand.

Keep reading

ME AFTER WATCHIMG HAROLD PERFORM HIS LITTLE PINK BOOTY OFF ON THE THE TODAY SHOW.

WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT?!?!?! HOW DARE HE!!

Originally posted by thebeautysurrounds


Originally posted by abcde-fc


Originally posted by mynamestartswithaletter


Originally posted by j-short1907

anonymous asked:

Request of Harry and y/n after dating for years hooking up in a car and getting caught by paps after they have sex and him getting dressed and going off on them because Y/n was nervous in the first place to do anything with him in public. Lots of daddy *dirty kind Harry and protective Harry. Long hair. Rings on. I'm trying to make this make sense. >.<

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST THIS OR ANY WRITING.

This is set in the Lemon Curd verse, but it’s pretty fungible! And it really leans on the daddy!kink with the sex in the car part of this rather than the paps part, but… I think it works? Happy reading. x

Gentle Reminder: requests are closed and new requests will be posted immediately and catalogued! 

055. Leather and Cars

“We should go out.”

Your smile stretches almost lazily over your face as Harry licks softly over your neck. Your head lolls to the side and his hand offers a cradle for it to lean against as he eagerly attaches his mouth to the new expanse of skin that he’s allowed to access.

You smell like a bakery, he’s sure of it. You can’t possibly as you haven’t worked there in ages, but he thinks the smell has managed to cling to you in a way it hasn’t to him. You smell like warm bread and hot coffee and those lemon curds that the two of you had been fond of sharing together and that he still brings home sometime for you two to indulge in when he thinks of it.

“Why?” you ask him with a fluttering breath.

“Done with your first year, aren’t yeh?” he murmurs.

“I am,” you agree. Harry’s arm is wound around your waist and you cover it with yours, digging into his skin with your fingertips.

“An’ correct me if I’m wrong, pet,” he starts. “But do you live here now?” he says of his home that is just a little more crowded with the two of you and your things that have been slowly finding their way in amongst his.

It’s been “official” for a month now, but Harry has spent the better part of that being out of your hair while you revised.

“Do I?” you ask and Harry frowns instantly before opening his mouth and biting with gentle warning. You squirm out of the hold of his jaws.

“We should go out,” he repeats.

“I don’t know that we should,” you reply.

“What?” he asks with pinching brows. “Why not?”

“Because something always happens,” you say.

“Like what?”

Keep reading

I’ve always imagined Harry with a specific girl. It doesn’t matter if she is tall or short, thin or fat, sexy or cute, pale or tanned, blonde, brunette or ginger. But I’ve always wanted Harry to be in a relationship with a normal girl. My dream girl for Harry would probably be a girl with a degree is psychology, very smart, able to hold a conversation and sometimes even have an ‘argument’ with Harry and he would be amazed of how much she knows and her passion and her sarcastic comebacks and how good she is at playing with his mind, driving him insane. She would understand Harry completely and he could talk to her for hours and hours and want more of her.
On the other side that girl would be kind of a loner cuz she focuses more on her books and not her social life and Harry would introduce her to his family and friends. He would make her do stupid stuff like get drunk and dance in the rain ect ect. They would complete each other and the most important they would understand each other. I think Harry would like a girl who has her own opinions, weird and original ones, opinions that no one has and that would catch his attention and she would not be afraid to say her opinion out loud in a room with 500 people even though no one would share the same opinion as her. She would be nice and smart, but not cocky, she would be modest and that would be Harrys favourite part I believe. And they would be a pair of dorks when they were alone, fighting with pillows, running around the house, trying to bake a cake but ending up terribly. my favourite part would be the part that Harry would say proudly this is my girlfriend, while holding her hand, his eyes sparkling from love and how proud he is of her and she would blush a lot. And the way he would look at her when she is not paying attention, oh god.
Mark my words. Harry has never fallen in love so far and his relarionships have been like 3 months long, but someday he will fall in love, but he will fall hard and will not let her go cuz he would be absolutely crazy about her. Literaly.
Leather jacket*

A/N: I started writing a one shot. But I got a bit carried away so I decided to upload it in parts. This is part one. There’s no real action in this one. But hey we’ve got to start somewhere. Let me know what you think, and requests are always welcome.

In which Y/N and Harry are best friends and go out one night. Harry tries to say a bit sober to take care of Y/N and bring her home save.

Warning: none.

Part one.

Going out with my best friend always lead a night we’d never forget. One of those nights you talk about years after they happened. She always turned onto the craziest person ever when she’s drunk. She can’t help it, she loves to let go.

‘Let’s go for another round of shots.’ She exclaimed. She was clearly getting there, totally wasted. Which means I’d be the one taking her home and putting her into bed. I did it a lot of times before. I stayed over once before because I was not so sober myself and didn’t think it was a promising idea to go home by myself.

Y/N walked over to the bar and came back with four shots of tequila along with four lime wedges. Oh god. Why four, I question myself. Two wasn’t enough?

‘Two shots for monsieur and two shots for madame.’ She says as she takes the shots off the tray and put them in front of us. ‘I hope you’re okay with tequila.’ She adds.

‘One wasn’t enough for you?’ I ask her and put a little salt on my hand to lick it off. I take a shot in my hand. I knock it back in one gulp and bite down on the lime right after it. I let the liquor sink in. I’m so not made for tequila but honestly who is?

‘One would’ve been enough for me, but not for you. You clearly need some more booze. What did you drink, huh? Three beers? Maybe four.’ She complains after she takes her shot.

‘Well, one of us has to stay clear in their head. And that’s obviously going to be me, love.’ I tell her. She makes a pfft sound at me and gulps her second shot down her throat. A smashing sound took my attention right back to the table. She’d put her glass down on the table. I think she didn’t like my comment.

‘Take your shot Harry, you need it.’ Her hand takes the remaining shot to my lips. ‘Shit the salt.’ She comments at herself as she puts the shot down to put salt on her hand. ‘There you go.’ Is all she says as she holds her hand in front of me to lick off the salt, followed by the small glass on my lips and a lime shoveled in my face.

I gag at the lime. The sour taste isn’t much of a pleasure plus getting a lime wedge stuffed into your mouth isn’t the nicest thing ever. Apparently thinks it’s funny cause she’s laughing in tears. She turned around to head back to the bar. I run after her, she shouldn’t get another drink. She had enough already.

I stop her by taking her by the arm. ‘Don’t you think you’ve had enough?’ I ask her, and she shakes her head.

‘No, just one more.’ She whines like a little child. Oh, why did I ever agree on going out with her. I knew I’d end this way.

‘What about I bring you home and we drink a glass of wine when we get there?’ I suggest. Her body relaxes and she doesn’t try to get away anymore.

‘Whatever you want.’ She responds and points a finger at my chest playfully. ‘Let’s go home.’

I make my way to the wardrobe to get our coats. I hold up hers to help her get into it. ‘There you go, love.’ I say as I put on my leather jacket. I take her hand and lead her outside. ‘Let me get a taxi.’ I murmur. And raise my hand up to stop one driving by.

I help her get in the backseat and walk around to get in on the other side. ‘288 Oldfield Lane North, please.’ I request the driver.

After a solid twenty-minute ride, he stops at Y/N’s driveway. ‘It’ll be £17,- please.’ The driver speaks. I hand him a £20,- bill. ‘Keep the change.’ I tell him as I open the door on Y/N’s side to get her out of the car.

‘Harry, you’re the bestest.’ She says when I walk her to her door, making me chuckle. ‘What? Why are you laughing. I mean it Harold, you are the nicest.’ She says defending herself.

‘I know you think so, love.’ I tell her. ‘Where are your keys?’ I feel in her coat pockets, but there’s nothing in there. She fidgets with her purse. As she finds her keys she immediately hands them over to me. She’s just too lazy to unlock the door to her apartment herself.

I open the door and walk in, holding the door for Y/N. ‘You’re being such a gent.’ She exclaims. I chuckle once again taking her coat and hanging it where it belongs. I bet if I didn’t take it she would’ve just thrown in down on the ground.

She makes her way to the kitchen. ‘What about that glass of wine?’ she asks and she takes two wineglasses out of the cabinet. She turns around to grab a bottle of wine from another cabinet but to her disappointment there were none. ‘Harry, I think we have a problem. I’m out of wine.’ She says clearly sad about not getting that one last drink.

‘What about a beer?’ I suggest. Somehow, I started craving beer out of nowhere. I thought I had enough for tonight but I’d really would like an ice-cold beer right now.  Y/N walks to her fridge to check for beer and turns back to me with two bottles high up in the air and the goofiest smile ever. ‘C’mere.’ I hold out my hand to take the bottles from her and open them. I hand one over to Y/N.

I take of my shoes and let my body fall down on the couch, putting my feet on the coffee table. Y/N sits down next to me. I feel her eyes staring at me. I take a large sip of my beer. Oh, I was craving this so much.