“We bear the march of ideas,” said the old crone mysteriously. “No, wait, that…” She double-checked the smudged writing on her hand.
“Wow, that’s really deep, actually. I’ve been thinking about writing a book, that would make an awesome starting point.” Caeser was completely oblivious to her error.
Now she had to try and correct course. “Oh, no, I got that wrong. Beware the ides of March. That’s what I’ve been seeing. Middle of the month, gonna be a doozy. A bad cold, perhaps, say, a stabbing.”
“Okay but back to that first thing,” Caesar barrelled on.
The witch sighed. “Sure. Sure, kid. If you live long enough to write a book, go for it. That one’s all yours, free a’ charge.”
“Yeah~ Hail to me, baby,” he said without a trace of irony, putting on sunglasses and tearing off down the road in his obnoxiously loud Harley. He did a wheelie - the son of a bitch actually did a wheelie. Maybe he deserved what was coming.
roddy is the caretaker dad that wants you to be the best you can be. he makes super healthy snacks for your lunch box and attends every soccer match in a foam hat with your team number on it. you’ll always have the trendiest fashions for school because he’s a shameless aesthetic/art hoe. always there to listen to your problems. gives the most comprehensive birds-and-the-bees talks ever. he loves you no matter what for ever and ever
billy is the cool dad that lets you stay up past ten and eat all the junk food that you want. he’ll buy you your first pack of cigarettes when you turn 18 and go bar-hopping with you when you turn 21. will let you sip from his beers before then but only when roddy isn’t looking. has stacks and stacks of dirty magazines he’ll let you borrow if you mow the lawn first. you’ll also get to ride up front on his bitchin’ harley while he does wheelies in the Kmart parking lot