harley small

She hasn’t aged a bit

Science Dad™ Tony Stark will always be a fav. He, along with babes Peter Parker and Harley Keener, make the perfect lil’ family.

Give me Tony Stark who donates new lab tech to Peter’s school after he makes an off-handed comment about how the lab tech at his school is out of date (he does this anonymously, but Peter figures it out relatively quickly).

Give me Tony Stark who goes to Peter’s school as a surprise and sits with him during lunch while entertaining Peter and his friends with funny stories about his days at MIT with his best friend, Rhodey.

Give me Tony Stark who sends Harley some fancy new tech (cellphone, tablet, a mini Dum-E, etc) every year on the anniversary of when they met (every note is signed, The Mechanic).

Give me Tony Stark who creates alibis for Peter when he has to run off and save the day and who greets Peter after a fight with medical care (he lets Peter sleep in his lab, it’s the only time he won’t blast his music).

Give me Tony Stark who provides verbal guidance (either over the phone or via hologram or webcam) for Harley while he works on a piece of tech to enter into his school’s Science Fair (and Tony sending him an upgraded potato gun when he wins).

Give me Tony Stark introducing Peter to Harley and actually have to sit down while they get to know each other because he is, for several moments, overwhelmed by the fatherly like care he has for Peter and Harley (he will probably never marry and have kids of his own, so this is as close as he can get).

Give me Tony Stark who invites Peter and Harley into his personal lab so he can get their opinions on the new schematics for his arc reactor for clean energy (he even has FRIDAY take down their suggestions and ends up altering the design because, hey, these kids are really freakin’ smart!).

Give me Tony Stark who, together with Peter, tries to create the perfect grilled cheese sandwich (calculating the right amount of butter and cheese) while Harley sits in the background eating the rejects (Tony stops him before he can eat his fifth because he’ll ruin his appetite for ~dinner~).

Give me Tony Stark who designs a mini gauntlet for Harley so he can use it’s stunning ability to aid other kids when they are being bullied (he designs it similar to his watch, but let bulky and hot rod red).

Give me Tony Stark who keeps Peter’s old costume framed in his workshop because he knows it’s something to be proud of (plus, Peter was gonna’ throw it away and Tony wasn’t having that). 

Give me Tony Stark who opens two separate accounts for Harley and Peter so they and their families will be taken care if anything happens to him (he doesn’t tell them, of course, because he doesn’t want to worry them but the possibility will always be there).

Give me Tony Stark who doesn’t censor his mouth around Harley and Peter because “if you can take on some scary as shit baddies, then you’re allowed to fucking curse!” (Harley is yelling “Hell yeah!” and “Shit, Tony’s right!” in the background).

Give me Tony Stark who passes on one of his class rings to Peter when he graduates high school (because Tony knew Peter would graduate a year or so before his classmates).

Give me Tony Stark who lets Harley help him take apart and rebuild one of his classic sports cars (the one Harley has been gushing over) for the hell of it (and not tell Harley that the car is now under his name).

Give me Tony Stark who finally gives in to Peter’s and Harley’s nagging and ends sitting in the middle of his couch with Peter on one side and Harley on the other as they watch Big Hero 6 (Tony doesn’t comment when both fall asleep just before the movie is over and he doesn’t move. He pities his father for never having this.)

I love these!

anonymous asked:

Ivy having to die Harleys hair red and blue?

this will not be three sentences at all

It started when Harley asked Pam to grab her some dye from the store around corner, and Pam got thinking about just how much dye Harley must go through, how many chemicals are in that, how much damage that must be doing to people and the earth alike. There had to be a better way, she reasoned. And surely she could take a day or two off from terrorizing Gotham with killer plants to find that better way.

(Also, she’d been incredibly comfortable on the couch and really hadn’t wanted to get up and go to the store.)

It ended up being more of a week long process, as Pam figured out how to grow plants that made just the right dyes and sought out test subjects. It was amazing how willing the college kids were to let you test things on them for a little cash, even the ones who had been born and bred in the city. As long as you swore that you weren’t testing out any fear toxin or Joker gas they were usually more than happy to go along with it, and Pam wasn’t asking them to try out anything worse than hair dye. 

Granted, after the final rounds of testing some of them were going to be left with red or blue hair permanently. She’d conveniently forgotten to mention that part.

“That’s nice, Pammy,” Harley said, when the long-lasting all-natural eco-friendly dye was ready to go. “I love that ya actually went to all the trouble of making that for me. But I actually like changing the colors sometimes, ya know? Plus I kinda got bored of waiting and just bought dye myself. We’re out of orange juice, though. Think you could - ”

“Grow a tree with oranges designed for optimal pulp-free juice production?” Pam interrupted. She was nodding, smiling to herself, already planning it out. “Yes, of course. Give me just a minute.”

“The store, you goof! I meant the store!”

“Just a minute! This is so much more fun.”

  (~ send me characters + a prompt and I’ll write a small thing ~)

Party Crasher (a fic inspired by a friendly anon)

Joker ducked into the first unlocked apartment he could find, just needing a quick place to hide and breathe after robbing his favorite explosives outlet and before he attempted his heist on the nearby First National Bank of Gotham. Harley was not far behind.

A room full of startled faces turned in their direction upon hearing the door slam. If the decorations and cake were any indication, Joker would have said he’d stumbled into someone’s party.

An evil, toothy grin spread across his face, seeing an opportunity to spread a little mayhem before tonight’s rendezvous with his Bat.

“Hello there, kiddos!” he shouted, drawing himself up to his full impressive height. “Let’s get this party started, shall we!?”

Silence, followed by screams. Joker let the familiar sound wash over him until it became…not so familiar somehow.

“Oh my gosh! Is that the Joker!?” a little girl with straight, blonde hair cried in…was that delight? He suddenly realized why the screams had seemed off. They were the sort of ecstatic screams he normally heard from Batman’s adoring public. An especially loud squeal of joy came from a little brown eyed boy in a wheelchair near the back of the dining room. He wore a large crown that read “BIRTHDAY BOY” in big purple and green letters.

Before he could do anything else, a man with glasses in a plaid sweater and khakis pressed into Joker’s personal space.

“Thanks so much for coming on such short notice. Your outfit is spectacular, by the way. You really made me believe the Joker had just barged into our house.” A nervous laugh. “Oh, and I see you’ve brought a Harley with you!” A small wave from his partner in crime. “Not a problem. We’ll have your payment after the party’s over.”

“I’m not-”

“Mr. Joker! Mr. Joker! Can I take a picture with you, please?” the boy in the wheelchair begged excitedly. The starry eyed expression he directed at him reminded Joker of how Birdboy typically looked at Batman.

Oh, how he wanted to. He wanted to pose for every picture these kids asked for, sign autographs, tell them his stories and listen to theirs. Anything at all that they wanted because they were HIS FANS! Those beautiful gems of people that were so few and far between. But…

“As…fun as that sounds, kid, I think I need to g-”

A swift punch to the shoulder by Harley silenced him. He was beginning to wonder if he’d ever get to finish a sentence.

“S’cuse us for a minute, kiddies.”

Some disappointed groans and confused mumbles came in answer as Harley yanked Joker back into the entryway near the front door.

“What do ya think you’re doin’?” Harley snipped in a hushed tone.

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m getting out of here, as planned. We have to be at the bank by 5:15 and it’s already,” he stopped to examine his Tweety Bird watch. “nearly 4:45. We don’t have time for this.”

Harley shook her head, pigtails flying where they may. “No, puddin’. Those kids are your fans and I know how important they are to you. Like that one girl from Uptown you still keep tabs on that gave you the glittery nail polish and candy.

Joker couldn’t help but smirk. “I still don’t know how Leana knew how much I love Tootsie Rolls.”

“You see? Now go in there and spend a quick minute with those kids.”

The villain’s face lit up like it was Christmas and practically sprinted back to the heart of the party.

“Birthday boy!” He called, pointing to the boy. “What’s your name?”

“James!” he replied, eyes still twinkling. He was wearing a grin that could have put Joker himself to shame.

“Well, Jimmy. Howza ‘bout we get you that picture?”

Plenty of hugs and please’s and thank you’s (and a quick piece of cake) later, Joker and Harley knew that they actually had to leave for their appointment at the bank. But before he left, Joker made sure to grab one more big hug from James and conspiratorially whisper to him: “Turn the TV to Channel 6 when I leave.”

The kid nodded as if receiving a secret mission, then smiled again. ”Thank you, Mr. Joker. This was the best present ever.”

“No problem, kid. Happy to meet you.” A gentle swipe of his brown hair. “I’ll be in touch.”

With that, the two were gone.

James quickly rolled himself over to the TV, eager to see whatever it was that Joker had wanted him to see.
“What are you doing, baby?” his mom asked. “You still have guests and presents here.”

”I know, mom, but Joker told me to.”

She smiled, shaking her head and let her son do as he pleased when she heard the door open once more.

“Hey, everyone! Who’s ready to smile!”

The party went silent as everyone looked at the man who had just come in looking a lot like the Joker.

James’ parents glanced at each other before they heard a delighted squeal come from their son.

“Look, everybody! He’s waving!” he cried and the entire room filed in to press around the screen. Sure enough, the man and woman who had been at their party mere minutes earlier were covered in concrete dust and framed by smoke and fire.

“Happy Birthday, James! It was a BLAST!” Joker cried as another explosion sounded behind him.

theater updates: easter edition

-i was scheduled to work 8 hours today. ON A HOLIDAY
-a lady buying a ticket from me asked me why i was in a wheelchair hdjsjfkshdjdjd
-i keep selling tickets to the zookeeper’s wife and every time im like CHASTAIN
-i asked if we had any la la land posters left AND WE DO. SO I EMAILED MY BOSS TO ASK FOR IT HSJSJFJDJ
-MY MANAGER SENT ME HOME EARLY
-AND ALSO LET ME GET A SMALL HARLEY QUINN POSTER THAT WAS JUST SITTING IN THE OFFICE HDJSHDKDHDH BYE

10

Lehigh, Iowa
Population: 416

“Located in a valley, Lehigh is divided in two by the Des Moines River, unusual for such a small town. Originally the two halves of Lehigh were two separate towns. While the town on the west side of the River was always called Lehigh, the east town was called Slabtown, and a piece of history marks the east side’s roots––a sign that hangs over the playground with the words ‘Slabtown Traders’ perhaps alluding to the flea market that occurs there every summer during Lehigh River Days. The ‘Slabtown Traders’ sign was blown over by a gust of wind in the summer of 2010. It survived several floods while being located on River St. Lehigh was surrounded by coal mines until the early 20th century and home to a large clay sewer pipe factory until the 1980s. Dolliver State Park, Brushy Creek State Recreation Area and Woodman Hollow State Preserve are located within a few miles of the town.“

Sad and Tragic Stories- Damian Wayne/Robin X Reader

You watched as the light faded away, casting a faint orange glow to the city you call home. Usually you would be finishing homework or reading a book, but you felt like watching the sun sink into the horizon. You snuggled closer into your knitted blanket and watched the sun finally disappear. One by one, the lights on the streets and the rooms in the buildings glimmered with pale lighting. You hated that the light pollution in Gotham prevented you from seeing the stars, and often pondered on booking a flight to the Atacama Desert in Chile to stargaze for hours. Even Dami- You shook your head. Of course you had to think about him, you scolded yourself. You sighed and returned your attention to the illuminated city. Why did he have to do it? You had no idea why, but a little voice in the back of your mind always says that it’s your fault. You knew you did nothing wrong, but what caused him to abandon you when you needed him the most? Your mother is in the hospital, your siblings are on the other side of the country with your father, and now you lost the love of your life. You felt warm tears fall down your cheeks and immediately wiped them off. You thought about the scene in The Outsiders and thought about its relatability. Nothing Gold Can Stay held an immense truth to you and there was nothing you could do about it. The doctors said that your mother only had a few months to live due to her wounds from the mugging and gave you many looks of pity and reassurance. You didn’t need anything from them, you needed your mom back, you needed your family back together, and you needed him. A faint knock from your apartment door interrupted your thoughts and echoed throughout your dark apartment. You stood up and abandoned the blanket at the window. When you reached the door you looked through the peep hole in the door and saw your elderly neighbor, Mary, holding what looked like her famous double chocolate chip cookies. You slightly smiled at her kindness and opened the door.

“Hi Mary. How’s the mint plant I gave you?” you asked.

Your smile faded when you saw blood dripping down her head.

“Mary, are you alright? You’re bleeding! Let me go get my medical supplies,” you stammered.

You were about to get the medical supplies but Mary collapsed onto the carpeted floor. You immediately rushed to her and tried to find the wound. There was bruising on the back of her head and a huge cut to go with it. Cackles could be heard to your left and caused shivers to travel up your spine. When you gained the courage to look up, the psychotic clown himself was munching on a cookie and staring at you with bloodshot eyes. You stood up and ran into your apartment, desperately searching for your phone. As you were running through your apartment, two gunshots taunted your ears. You collapsed and screamed. Excruciating pain erupted in your chest and abdomen. Tears clouded your vision and streamed down your face.

“Awwww. Don’t cry, girlie. Your neighbor over there is only knocked out and you are invited to my party!! There will be balloons, candy, cake, and a few other people I invited!! It’s gonna be a blast!!”

You screamed when he grabbed your wrist and dragged you across your carpet. He dragged you through the hall and into the elevator. You felt disoriented and nauseated, and the pain was becoming too unbearable. You felt your blood oozing out of your wounds and attempted to cover your free hand on the bullet wound in your chest, but your hand was too heavy. Everything was gaining a darker tone and soon you were too tired to keep your eyes open.

“Don’t worry, girlie! I’ll make sure Harley will fix you up for the party!”

——————-

You woke up on a table with leather straps wrapped around your torso and legs. The rough material dug into your skin, obviously bruising it the longer you remain trapped. Humming could be heard and music could be faintly heard off in the distance.

“Oh goodie ya awake!” a female voice squealed.

You moved your head to the right to see Harley Quinn in her usual red and black outfit with a matching psychotic smile on her face.

“Mistah J was wonderin’ when ya were gonna wake up. I’ll go tell him!!”

She happily bounced out of the room and slammed the metal door shut, leaving you alone in, what looked like to you, a torture chamber. Where do they get the frickin money for this?? You squirmed in the restraints until you got your right arm free. You felt around your torso for the bullet wound and came in contact with stitches. You frowned and put your hand near the bullet wound on your abdomen, which were also stitched. You heard footsteps coming from the opposite side of the door and fearfully slipped your hand back under the leather strap. The door bursts open and cackles flooded into the room.

“I hope you had a good nap, because the party is about to start!!” Joker exclaimed excitedly.

“I’ll get her chair, Puddin’!” Harley said while walking toward a decayed wooden door.

She pulled out a very colorful wheelchair that had matching leather straps with the table. While she was pulling out the wheelchair, Joker picked up a syringe from the metal table and plunged it into your neck. Your shout of pain was muted by his gloved hand. He pulled the syringe out and removed his hand.

“Just to make sure you don’t leave the party early.”

He then started to unbuckle the straps and drag your limp body onto the wheelchair. Harley fastened the straps on your arms, torso, and legs and started wheeling you through the dark hallway. Any attempt at moving a single centimeter went to waste and you were soon pushed into a room with faded bright colors and a massive broken window. She placed you in the empty spot in between black and yellow chairs and left you to join Joker across the room.

“You might be wondering why I brought you here! Well, I guess it all started when I saw a little bird frequently visit your window. You know what I thought? ‘Hey! The boy blunder either is a peeping tom, or cares about this girl!’ Your neighbor’s cookies were fantastic by the way,” he commented, “and now we’re waiting for my other party guests to arrive! But first, I wanted to give you a present for coming to my party!”

Harley handed him a small case and let a huge smile grow on her face. He opened the hatch and pulled out another syringe, but this time the liquid was green. Your eyes widened and your breathing rapidly increased. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and almost exploded when he was only inches away from your bruised neck. You felt the needle pierce your neck and soon its contents went into your bloodstream. Tears shed down your face and soon met the floor. He yanked out the needle and threw it onto the ground, the sound of glass breaking echoing throughout the room. He looked up to the ceiling and smiled.

“Hello, Batsy!! A little birdie showed me this wonderful flower!! Well, now she’s wilted, but that’s not the point,” he laughed.

“Let her go, Joker,” Batman’s deep voice demanded.

Joker tutted, “You always have a poor choice of words.”

He kicked your wheelchair towards the broken window and watched you drop. You couldn’t even let out a scream. You always thought that you were going to die happy, maybe have a few kids and a loving husband watching over you. You guessed the universe decided that was too kind.

“(Y/N)!” a familiar voice called out.

You felt the back of the wheelchair being grasped and you were suspended only a few yards away from the ground. You were slowly lowered to the ground and Robin quickly ran to your side to unfasten the straps. Once they were removed, he pulled you out of the chair and held you closely. After a couple of seconds, he readjusted you so he was carrying you bridal style. Just as he thought you were safe, you started laughing uncontrollably. His eyes widened and he ran as fast as he could to the Batmobile.

“Father! Please tell me you’re finished with the Joker, (Y/N) was injected with a newer version of Joker’s toxin.”

“I’m coming,” his father responded.

He looked back to you and hoped that it wasn’t too late to save you. Your face was stuck in a smile and tears were falling down your dirt covered face. Your face was getting paler and paler by the second and your body was seizing. He urged himself to go faster and finally met his father at the Batmobile. He handed your shaking body to his father and watched his father inject you with the antidote. You stopped laughing in a few minutes and faded out of consciousness.

“This will help, but not permanently. If this is a new toxin, then we need to have the proper antidote for her to recover.”

Damian nodded and glanced at you once again. This was the reason why he broke off your relationship: to make sure you were never involved and harmed. He had failed and you received the penalty. Bruce placed a hand on his son’s shoulder, hoping to provide him some comfort. Damian removed his father’s hand from his shoulder and made his way towards the passenger seat of the Batmobile. Bruce sighed and looked back at your unconscious form. He secured you into the gurney and walked to the driver’s seat. This was going to be a long night.

———–

Once Bruce had taken your blood sample to made the antidote to the new toxin, Damian never left your side. Dick and Tim often came down to give Damian food and offer to watch you while he slept, but always refused to sleep. When Tim failed to persuade him, he left the room to help Bruce out with the antidote. After thirty minutes of arguing, Damian promised to sleep when it turned 9:00. That gave him ten more minutes to watch over your lifeless form and hope for the best.

“I know you’re the last person you would want to see right now,” Damian said, “but I never wished to hurt you, or put you into harm’s way. The reason why I ended our relationship was to protect you. Everyone I care about has been harmed in this type of life and now you have been too.”

Damian swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing.

“I have heard from many of my family’s experiences of either losing or having their loved ones harmed. I couldn’t imagine seeing you dead or harmed, so I did what I thought was best. I have read many tragedies, and I had to remind myself that they could become reality. They are sad and tragic stories, just like ours. I tried to prevent it, I have done everything I could to protect you, but it wasn’t enough. The reason why the Joker found you was because of me. I watched over you ever since I broke your heart, my cowardice led me to believe that you wouldn’t be safe, but I was the true reason why you were put in harm’s way. I am sorry for causing you this much pain. I wish that we didn’t live in this cruel and unjust world, but fate was not on our side. I hope that it will be on our side now.”

Damian grasped your hand and laid his head on the cot, finally letting sleep pull him into unconsciousness. Dick soon entered the room to tell Damian it was time, but was surprised to see him fast asleep with his hand holding yours. He slowly closed the door and walked toward the Bat Computer.

“Damian is asleep,” he told Bruce.

“Good,” he replied, “he needs his rest, especially after tonight.”

“He really loves her, doesn’t he?”

“More than you with your cereal.”

“That’s debatable.”