signs as things ive heard people say at my private school
  • aries:i could eat 2,000 hardboiled eggs if i had to
  • taurus:so, if a lake was deep enough, could we make mac and cheese in it?
  • gemini:i gotta fart
  • cancer:i looked up public school once and i almost cried it was so scary
  • leo:i swear to god ill eat your ass
  • virgo:do bones grow?
  • libra:everyone pull out grapetown
  • scorpio:im gonna dry a pumpkin
  • sagittarius:do foxes lay eggs?
  • capricorn:i wish there was actually a fire so we could be warm
  • aquarius:*the star wars cantina theme played on kazoo*
  • pisces:i put a fishstick in the bowl of fishsticks
Crime Syndicate Magazine is Reviewing Crime Fiction for Issue #2 - Pays $25/story

Crime Syndicate Magazine is reviewing crime fiction stories for the second issue. A chosen guest editor edits each new issue. The first issue debuted Jan. 2016. The guest editor was Eric Beetner, a seasoned writer of hardboiled crime fiction.

The second issue will publish “hard-hitting” crime fiction–dark, dirty tales about violence, bloodshed, greed, eroticism, seduction, debauchery, and any fusion of those elements. Crime fiction novelist Dietrich Kalteis is serving as Guest Editor.

Keep reading


Kaiden really liked this snack yesterday and has been asking about it all morning so I thought I would share it.

Dinosaur Eggs:
-You hardboil some eggs (I did this by putting the eggs in a pot with water that just covered them, brought them up to boil and then turned the heat off and covered the pot with a lid. and then I forgot about them for a while.)
-When they’re cool enough to handle, take the eggs and smash up the shells without peeling them.
-put each egg in a small cup with water and food coloring, then stick them in the fridge and let them sit (I only waited the two hours that was nap time).
-then you can peel the shell off and see the cool marbled color on the eggs!

Kaiden really likes peeling the shell off of hard boiled eggs, eating egg, and thought the idea that they were dinosaur eggs was really cool!
I should probably make a bunch to keep in the fridge for surprise snacks if they keep with broken shells after hardboiled.

Friends, I am as serious as a heart attack - The Expanse is some good shit. The first season just wrapped up on Syfy - 10 quality episodes of a mashup of Game of Thrones, hardboiled detective noir, Firefly, and a dash of The Walking Dead  -IN SPACE. It’s been renewed for a second season. It’s beautiful, well-crafted, well-acted, and I am hella invested in these characters. Watch. This. Show.

Also, The Magicians (aka How To Get Away With Surviving Your Master’s Degree in Narnia Studies at Hogwarts) is pretty decent so far, as well, though not as good as The Expanse.

SyFy is upping their fucking game this year, jeeze.

Spy is a Bad Cook

I already head canon that Spy is a terrible cook.

And since I had meatloaf for dinner I got to thinking about him cooking one. There’s a recipe that calls for putting hardboiled eggs in the center of the loaf, and I can see him grossly minterrpreting the directions. 

He puts raw, shelled eggs in the center, and after it’s been cooked he makes the first cut and all anyone hears is cracking. 

March 1945 issue

cover art by Gloria Stoll

Day Keene, “ If the Coffin Fits— “ (Tom Doyle/ Doc Egg)

Talmage Powell, “Kill Once—Kill Twice!“

Fredric Brown, “No Sanctuary”

Francis K. Allan, “The Twelve Deadly Eyes"

Stewart Toland, “No Grave to Hold Her"

John Kaylor Northway, “A Corpse for the Prodigal"

J. Lane Linklater, “Blind Date"

William R. Cox, “The Town That Murder Built"

Cyril Plunkett, “Keeper of the Killed" 

Seattle Mystery Bookshop


Welcome to the City of Smoke and Iron, a diesel-pulp fiction creation where hardboiled detectives and femme-fatales drink caffeine as dark as their skin.

“The City is your source for bite sized, diesel-pulp fiction stories. Each short story is sent straight to your inbox, and tells the tales of femme fatales, private eyes and street hustlers who never quite know if they’ll see tomorrow.

Much like the lives of its residents, stories from the City of Smoke and Iron are often quick and bloody. The thrills they provide fit in the palm of your hands, and are the perfect reads for cab rides, train stops and bitter cups of caffeine.”

Find More Stories At patreon.com/cityofsmokeandiron


What is Patreon, anyway?
Patreon is a way to support your favorite creators by becoming a “Patron” of their art. You can kick send a bit of money toward them on a monthly or per-project basis so they can continue to do things like eat and make art that you love. Donating through Patreon means that you also get access to bonus content—like voting for which story becomes an audio drama next - that aren’t available for non-Patreons.

What’s diesel-pulp fiction?
Diesel pulp fiction is a mix between noir crime thrillers and dieselpunk/retro sci fi (WWI - WWII inspired alternate history, adventure or fantasy). It’s a world where dirigibles in the sky and undead trench warfare won’t keep hard-boiled detectives and femme-fatales from making ends however they can.

How often will you be releasing stories?
Patron only short stories will be released about once a week. Audio-dramas will be released monthly.

Follow the Artist Here or Here

Support the Artist Here

Adulting is hard. I’m curling up for a bit after my brain betrayed me by getting overwhelmed with they ask of boiling eggs. To be fair the last time I boiled eggs was with my mother when I was a kid. That was before she figured out I was never going to eat Easter eggs. I hate hard boiled eggs, soft boiled eggs, pretty much any egg that is not in scrambled, omelette, or cake form.

On the plus side there is a basket of carved stone eggs at my parents place from Easter days after my parents gave up on hardboiled eggs. The candy is long gone.

Anyway I have boiled the eggs, some for the kid’s cookery class today (they are making scotch eggs *boak*), and some 5 min eggs so the kid and the mister could dip their toast in. Fuck my brain for getting overwhelmed with thoughts of failure over boiling fucking eggs. Ugh.

I’m curling up with a sleepy puppy and trying to calm my stupid brain down from the anxiety high it’s clinging to.

In conclusion eggs and brains are assholes.

Originally posted by dennys