hard drugging

A couple years ago I was on vacation with my entire family and my cousin was like 11 and called himself the chosen one and started dubbing everyone like ‘chosen one #37578’ ect. And one time we got a pizza and when the pizza guy got there my cousin got this thoughtful look and said 'You. You are chosen one #2. My second in command.’ And the pizza guy looked so touched

I think, instead of telling kids ‘don’t do drugs, they’re bad’ we should show them the opiate withdrawal patient I had the other day

25 years old, in jail for god knows what, cops bring him in with a lac to his forehead from banging it on the wall repeatedly. He is already handcuffed so we put him in an isolation room, with sliding glass doors. Because he is in custody we take everything but the bed out of the room. 

Patient is screaming the whole time he doesn’t want to be there (same bro) with blood everywhere from the head lac. 

5min later, I hear this sickening crash, I’m pretty sure someone has just run head first into the glass doors, because mate I’ve done that before those curtains are assholes, so rounding the corner I see blood all over the glass door, patient still screaming he wants out but is now banging his head on the glass. 

It takes 4 security guards to hold this guy down, he is absolutely losing his shit, screaming and flailing and has no idea whats going on. Calling out for his mom, for Neil (???), for a sandwich, doesn’t know what day it is or just refuses to answer we can’t tell, pupils 4mm and sluggish but thats how it was when they brought him in, so security cuffs him to the bed so he can’t hit the wall. 

Fastforward 10 minutes and he has dislocated/broken his wrist trying to get out of the bed and to the door, he has puke and stool everywhere, refused to take the ativan so we gave midaz, but that didn’t touch him. 

This guy screamed from 2-7, we maxed out what we could give him for benzos and he was extraordinarily agitated and wouldn’t settle and was only in the beginning stages of withdrawals. It was terrifying, but the thing that got me was after screaming about how we took the 20′s (from his underwear??) he was quiet for a minute, I thought ‘shit the midaz finally caught up with him and now were gonna need to intubate’ but he then screams

“I don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t want to be on drugs anymore, I want this to stop, I want to be clean, please someone help me”

And thats what got me. This guy was 25, had his whole life ahead of him, but got caught up in drugs and it was going to kill him, and he wanted out, but withdrawals were so bad that it was easier to keep using. 

Fuck telling kids don’t do drugs. Show them what its like to try to stop, how all your friends die from OD, how you are one phonecall-not-made away from death yourself, how you get to be tied to a bed in the ER and your nurses need to apologize to other patients because you can’t stop screaming and just shit yourself and puked the cookie I gave you and your body is on fire. 

Don’t just tell them not to do it, because that doesn’t work, show them what its like to try to stop, because sometimes fear works better than facts. 

Note: Throughout the day we gave him 4 of ativan, 27.5 of Midazlolam and 12 of haldol, and this guy still was still agitated and screaming and 100% inconsolable, and by that time the doc was like ‘we can’t give him anymore, but lets transfer him out before he crashes’. It was a fucking time

Dream Daddies: Getting High
  • Robert: even more paranoid, gets really intensely into telling others his conspiracy theories. loses all concept of an indoor voice.
  • Mat: just wants to lay on the floor and listen to trippy music to, like, fully appreciate it man. always starts with sgt peppers lonely hearts club band
  • Damien: “did you know that in victorian times ppl would visit opium dens to socialize and relax? we should get out the velvet pillows and sit on the floor for authenticity sake”
  • Craig: one of the best ppl to get high with. it takes forever to find a day to make it happen bc he’s so busy, but he shows up with a huge bag of cheetos and a six pack and you smoke and play mario kart all afternoon
  • Brian: “when I was visiting a friend in colorado springs, he had the highest quality marijuana that you can get. it was like pharmacy grade and really strong, but since I had a contact it barely cost me anything”
  • Hugo: is v nervous about trying The Drugs but eventually caves and then gets really animated telling you about legendary wrestling matches from 20 yrs ago 
  • Joseph: refuses to smoke with you for a long time, but when he finally does, it turns out he knows WAY more about it than you do, rolls expert-level blunts, likes to blow smoke rings and shotgun. when asked about it, he just grins and says “i wasn’t always a youth pastor, you know”

BONUS:

  • Mary: actually does have at least one blunt in her purse at all times, super fun to smoke with, very pro wake-and-bake
If you ever feel like you should have your shit together and you don’t....
  • At age 15, Mark Wahlberg dropped out of school and lived on the streets after serving time. 
  • At age 18, Drew Carey attempted suicide after being expelled from college. 
  • At age 23, Tina Fey was working at her local YMCA. 
  • At age 23, Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first reporting job. 
  • At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer. 
  • At age 24, Jon Hamm was working as a waiter. 
  • At 25, Walt Disney was told that no one would ever like Mickey Mouse by MGM. 
  • At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and went to art school. 
  • At age 28, J.K Rowling was a suicidal parent living on welfare. 
  • At age 28, Tyler Perry was homeless on the streets of Atlanta. 
  • At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter. 
  • At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stock broker. 
  • At age 35, Ricky Gervais made it to TV after getting fired working on a radio show. 
  • At age 40, Vera Wang designed her first dress after failing to make the Olympic figure skating team and to make the editor-in-chief position at Vogue. 
  • At age 40, Stan Lee released his very first comic book. 
  • At age 40, Lucille Ball got her part in I Love Lucy. 
  • At age 42, Alan Rickman got his first major movie role. 
  • At age 44, Bryan Cranston got his first major TV role. 
  • At age 46, Samuel L. Jackson got his first major movie role. 
  • At age 52, Morgan Freeman got his first major movie role. 
  • The founder of Amazon.com, Jeff Bezos, was working at McDonald’s in his 20s. 
  • Billionaire Warren Buffet was a part-time salesman in his 20s. 
  • President Barack Obama was a community organizer in his 20s. 
  • Halle Berry stayed in homeless shelters often in her 20s. 

It is NEVER too late to achieve your dreams. Don’t stress about the future. Right here, right now, you’re doing the very best you can. 

you’ve heard of losers club high school hcs, now get ready for

losers club shitty british secondary school hcs

oh boy here we go

- the losers club on a duke of edinburgh expedition. that is all
- the uniforms. dear god the uniforms. richie and bev are constantly in detention for breaking the dress code and it’s how they became best friends. bev customised hers with badges and embroidery and rolls her skirt up way past the knees to defy sexist uniform codes. she’s always stopped in the hall by the pedantic deputy head who seems to be employed for the sole purpose of telling girls off for having short skirts. richie wears his tie way too short and always has his shirt untucked and his top two buttons undone. his blazer is also mysteriously at home 24/7
- stan and ben have this really intense, passive-aggressive war to become head boy. stan eventually gets the role and ben has to deal with being deputy
- whenever someone does something stupid in lessons the whole classroom erupts with ‘waaaaayyyy!’ this is usually led by richie.
- the school is in a really crappy part of town and at lunchtime the losers go to tesco to get food and sit in the park affectionately known as ‘druggy park’
- in year 8 they tried to fit eddie into a locker and that’s how he broke his arm
-they all refer to each other as their surnames, and the teachers as their first names
-richie once drew a dick on the board in his form room with permanent marker by accident so mike turned it into a tree
-eddie’s always in the nurse’s office, to the point where they’re so close she sometimes gives him lifts to and from school
- mike’s a really talented photographer and wins all the local competitions. his pieces are on display boards all over the school
- in terms of clubs, richie runs the school radio and is into drama, bev runs textiles support sessions for the younger years with a few of her classmates and is also on the debate team with stan and ben, eddie is a peer mentor for students struggling with mental health issues and is also involved with art club, bill is on the rugby team as well as writing articles and short stories for the school newsletter, stan is friends with the headteacher bc he attends chess club which the headteacher runs and he also helps the younger years with maths, ben is a student library assistant and mike goes to gardening club. he’s really proud of the carrots they’re growing behind the science block.
-stan and bill get the same bus. there was nowhere else for stan to sit on the first day of year 7 and that’s how he and bill became best friends
- the school has wild parties in the name of charity. at one, richie got so drunk and gave eddie so many hickeys he had to be taken to the er by his mum as she thought he had a skin disease. it didn’t help that he was super hungover either so he looked like death warmed up. needless to say it’s ‘the story’ of the night and the talk of the whole school (including teachers- they join in with the students’ conversations about the parties in class) for like a month
- they have a sleepover at mike’s and he unashamedly owns ‘angus, thongs and perfect snogging’. they all agree it’s a british classic
-eddie went through a sherlock phase in year 10 that threatened to become a superwholock phase. it was a dark time for everyone. 
-the whole squad get a cheeky nando’s
-richie and eddie make out in the common room and stan’s head boy office during frees. richie’s given eddie hickeys in there too. stan is disgusted when he finds out. there’s also a hidden path next to the train tracks that they go to if either of those places are occupied
-bill is hailed as a god by the younger students. they say ‘yes then big bill’ and high five him when they walk past him
- richie is known as the archbishop of banterbury throughout the school. what an icon
- on the last day of sixth form they all hit the local ‘spoons and make the most of the 2 for £12 pitchers by buying like 10
-mike’s dark secret is that he was on an episode of ‘dick and dom in da bungalow’ once. he’s vowed to take it to the grave. richie broadcasts this to the whole school via the radio as soon as he finds out.


bonus round for things that actually happened during my experience in secondary school:

- there’s a weed scandal in like year 9. somehow a wildly untrue rumour about stan hiding weed in his locker is being spread round the school
- beverly hides the clocks in her form room in the ceiling. her tutor buys a new clock. it goes in the ceiling. her tutor buys another clock. into the ceiling it goes. you get the idea. soon staplers and whiteboard pens start making their way up there
- richie and eddie make a meme gallery. it’s taken down in time for open day but some of the teachers genuinely think it brightens up theirs and the students’ days
- the losers are in the same teaching group in year 7. their pe class has to do chair dancing to hey big spender (it’s best not to ask) and it becomes a recurring joke for them throughout the years
-richie had a house party where stan got drunk for the first time and ended up chundering in his sink the next morning


add more if you like!