they tried
  • Hermione & Pansy: *bursts into dorm room with camera* YOU TWO ARE HAVING SEX!
  • Harry: *doing homework* ...
  • Draco: *reading* ...
  • Harry: ...
  • Draco: *looks over* Harry? Really? Why didn't you tell me, I would've put my book down.
  • Harry: I don't like malfoy but I like his hair.
  • Draco: I don't like Potter but he's got a nice body.
  • Harry: I hate that stupid git but he has a nice smile.</p>
  • Draco: Sometimes I want to punch Potter Sometimes I want him to slam me against a wall
  • Harry: Malfoy is annoying but he has pretty fingers.
  • Draco: everyone thinks I'm gay. I'll prove I'm not by kissing potter.
Two hours later, they all agreed that Malfoy wasn’t allowed to play Monopoly again.

“No wonder your family were rich,” Ron said. “You’re scary once you get going.”

Malfoy looked down at the collection of plastic hotels on the floor, the result of Luna upending the board. “I may have got a little carried away.”
—  The Moon Looks Lovely Tonight by omi_ohmy
  • Hermione: I remember when you used to obsess over him at school. We should have known then, really.
  • Draco: You had a crush on me a school. That's embarrassing.
  • Harry: Oh, please. You didn't have a crush on me?
  • Draco: Course but you're the chosen one. That's just hilariously awkward. Awkwardly hilarious.
  • Harry: Are you drunk?
  • Draco: Have you met my husband? He's famous, you know.
  • Hermione: He's drunk.

Teacher: would you like to share something with the class?
Me: *takes out fanfic recs, R18 doujins and fanarts*
Me: I thought you’d never ask!
Me: Now, when a man and another man love each other very much-
Teacher: wait no what is this
Teacher: what are you doing
Teacher: child
Teacher: pls
Teacher: staph

Prompt #666 (by idk-i-cant-think)

In which Harry is the new DADA professor and Draco is the Hogwarts Healer. Harry on multiple occasions has to take the older students up to the hospital wing due to defence spells gone wrong, resulting in the two spending a lot of time together. Bonus points if the whole school ships it but they don’t realise. Extra bonus points if students deliberately get injured in Harry’s classes to get them to spend more time together. Triple bonus points if even Headmistress BAMF McGonnagal is intervening

Of course, he hadn’t seen Draco’s eyes in the throes of ecstasy or his hair mussed from a thorough snogging or the fancy robes tossed in a heap on Harry’s floor. He was fairly certain those looks would likely be even better still. Merlin, simply imagining it… Ngggh.

“Did you say something?” Draco asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Harry thought for a moment. “Ngggh,” he said. “I believe I said, ‘Ngggh’.”

“All right then. Don’t let me stop you.”
—  Crystal Clear by icmezzo
On days Harry drinks a bit too much
  • Harry: *drunk* M-MaLFOY!
  • Draco: *pauses in the doorway, startled* Harry? Yeah?
  • Harry: *glares* y-you...YOU, WHAT are yOU DOING in mY HOUSE
  • Draco: *stares* Harry, you should go to bed
  • Harry: Malfoyy how th E HELL did you LSYTHERIN get into my HOUSE
  • Draco: Harry, love, we've been married for the past seven years.
  • Harry: *gasps in shock*

ok I don’t do non-magic au’s enough but here’s one.

  • Harry and Draco take the tube to work at different times every day.
  • One morning, while waiting for the tube Harry spots a board advertisement with a large Hashtag on it and for the laugh he decides to put a circle in it like the game ‘noughts and crosses’ (tic-tac-toe for americans yikes)
  • Later, Draco spots the same board and puts a cross in it. 
  • Like this, Harry and Draco add another nought or cross to the board every day without physically seeing eachother.
  • Until one particular morning Harry sees the game was a tie and there was a note next to it
    Meet 3pm. We’ll settle this differently
    - Cross
  • Draco sees Harry walking towards the Board.
  • Obviously Draco wanted to meet him to beat him at something but heck nobody told him Nought was hot. 


Friendly reminder: In Half-Blood Prince, while he was invisible in the Slytherin compartment, Harry watched Draco change into his school robes.

“I can see Hogwarts,” said Malfoy, clearly relishing the effect he had created as he pointed out of the blackened window. “We’d better get our robes on.”
Harry was so busy staring at Malfoy, he did not notice Goyle reaching up for his trunk;

  • Ron: My sister keeps staring at you, mate. It's bloody weird.
  • Hermione: It's not weird at all. Honestly Ronald, she's not a child.
  • Ron: What's that supposed to mean?
  • Hermione: She can check out anyone she likes.
  • Ron: wh- check out? You mean like... Fancy-? Harry? What?
  • Hermione: It's pretty obvious.
  • Ron: Harry stared at Malfoy all the time and that doesn't mean he fancies the git. She could hate him for all you know.
  • Harry: Malfoy? What about Malfoy?
  • Hermione: