Today’s Super Bowl shaped up to be quite an entertaining spectacle of events. Although I have to say I expected nothing less with the Harbaugh brothers facing off a la LITTLE GiANTS. (Spoiler Alert! John gets the billboard)
The game started off a little slow with the Ravens leading the Niners 21-6 at the end of the first half. That being said, there were some pretty sick plays- but you should know that because you were watching. Then came the halftime show and bootylicious Beyonce hit the stage ready to start a fierce feminist movement when up pops the rest of Destiny’s Child to say a-bugaboo.
I’m still dying to know…who their child is/which one of them carried it/who fathered it/ what it thinks of Blue Ivy/how much longer in life I will refer to a child as “it.” Anywho, the trio managed to suck all of the juice out of the stadium leading to a power outage early in the 3rd quarter, when the Niners finally decided to show up.
After a great effort and some exciting playmaking by the Niners, the Ravens still pulled off the W. Through all of the evening’s events, the thing that stuck with me the most leaving the bar was one particular moment when both Niners and Ravens fans joined together in gasping outrage…over a Go Daddy commercial featuring Bar Rafaeli making out with a nerd.
People were crying out things like, “NO!” and "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!“ while shielding their eyes. I guess people don’t want to see a model make out with a nerd. And since these people look more like the nerd than the model, I think it’s safe to assume they want to see nerds make out with nerds. You know, relatable scenarios for the masses! 7-Up had the right idea when they created this unforgettable Truck Driver Calendar in 2006…
You’re trying to escape! You’re trying to get out!
In conclusion, less hotties eating burgers on the beach ("they’re just gonna throw it up later anyway”) and more real people of America on TV!
(Totally kidding, keep the hot people.)