happybirthdayedwardcullen

Happy 111th Birthday Edward Cullen!

I know your fictional and don’t exist outside the contents of a book or movies but I want to thank you for saving me. Before I came across Twilight I was going through a rough time- tougher than anything I have ever experienced. I was alone. I was depressed. I had lost the drive to really live. My days were monotonous and I poured myself into my studies. That was all I had and my life sucked. Then a fellow student of mine mentioned how she had brought a copy of Twilight for a friend to read and how the friend wasn’t able to read. For some reason I felt the need to ask her if I could borrow it. I’ve heard of the series but felt no desire to read them (A book about an ordinary girl falling or a vampire? Really?). But what could I lose here? I wasn’t wasting money and I wasn’t going out of my way to get it. The girl handed over the book and that night I let myself get caught up in the story of Twilight. The story of you bringing an ordinary girl who didn’t feel like she belonged, who was constantly out of step with life, to a world where she finally became who she was meant to be. A world where she could finally be herself.

And thanks to Twilight and you… I found that world, the outlet I need to save myself. 

After finishing the book and running to the book store the following morning to get the rest, I finished the series within the week. When I finally closed that final book I knew I needed more. I couldn’t let it go. And that caused me to venture into Twilight chatrooms and talk to people who like me had fallen in love with you and the story. Those chatrooms led me to Twitter and Tumblr. They gave me relationships with people who may have lived in different states, countries, what have you and yet were truly interested in what I had to say. It expanded my interest into more than just Twilight. It brought me to my love of The Vampire Diaries. It brought me to the amazing people I have met online and who I can honestly call some of my dearest friends. And do you know why? Because they like me for who I am. Because to them I am not an outcast- I’m one of them. I finally found the outlet I needed to feel like I mattered, to feel like someone cared. And that’s all thanks to you.

I’m still not all the way there. I still have moments where I lose myself where I feel like no one cares and that I don’t matter. But now I know I’m not alone. That other people feel that way and that despite what I may feel in that moment. I matter. I’m loved. There’s more than what’s going on right now.

So, Happy Birthday Edward Cullen. Thank you and Stephenie Meyer for giving me that light I had lost through my darkness. I owe you so much. I probably wouldn’t be here without you. And for that reason I will hold a special place for you and Twilight in my heart <3