happy with this even if it is a bit of a cheat

Your know what?

Fuck you for making me think I wasn’t good enough.

Fuck you for making me feel like the only option to stop the pain was to cut deep into my skin.

Fuck you for making me feel insecure about every little inch of my body.

Fuck you for cheating on me.

Fuck you for making me fall so deeply in love with you to the point where I lost myself while trying to save you. You weren’t worth my time and energy, you weren’t worth even the slightest bit of joy I felt when you kissed me. You weren’t worth any of the pain I had to go through.

I Don’t Believe In Love Anymore- Luke Hemmings

Happy Valentine’s Day! This is my sad Luke imagine I was requested a bit back, but it ends cute..kinda…not big on Valentine’s Day so ya…hope you like it! Also was kinda tired while writing this so sorry…not great and may be errors -Lydia

“’Cause I don’t believe in love, so don’t get your hopes up darling….

I don’t believe in love anymore…” -Darling, SayWeCanFly

(BEST SONG I PROMISE)

“Luke are you alright?”

It was 3 am, and you were woken up to the sound of your phone ringing.

“That bitch” Luke said, voice rough and sounding like he had more than a few drinks.

“Luke?”

“I can’t believe she cheated on me Y/n, after all that time together and all those times we said we love each other…fucking bitch. I don’t believe in love anymore Y/n. I don’t believe in life anymore what’s the point? Nothing ever works out, and even when you think it does its all a sham. There’s always some dark secret that fucks everything up. That’s why here I am on Valentine’s Day sitting here on my balcony wall drinking my life away”

“You what?! Luke I’ll be right there! Get off the fucking balcony!! If you jump I swear-”

“Oh Y/n…” there was a loud beeping then the phone cut off

“Did his phone die? What the fuck Luke, I’m coming…” you said to yourself, throwing on some jeans and grabbing your keys.

Luckily Luke didn’t live to far away from you, nonetheless you took off like a formula one driver, rushing to get to the guy you had loved for years, but he saw you nothing more than a best friend. Friend-zoned or not, you were terrified he would do something terrible. The breakup between him and his girlfriend really affected him, and you knew he started drinking, but you never thought he might be considering  ending it all. That just showed you how hard he was taking everything right now…poor Luke.

When you got to Luke’s apartment, you opened the door with your spare key and ran out to the balcony. Luke was sitting there, a beer in his hand, he was looking up at the stars.

“Luke…thank god…I thought something happened…that you might have-”

“Jumped?” He asked turning to look at you.

You nodded.

“I’ve been thinking about it…”

“Luke-”

“No let me finish. I’ve thought about it. I really have. I’m done. But I can’t. I can’t bring myself to do it.”

“Luke. You can’t think suicide is the answer, are you kidding me? There’s people who care about you, who love you”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Think of your fans-”

“They only love the idea of me”

“That’s not true Luke. You know it’s not. Well what about your family?”

“They’re obligated to love me…”

“That’s a sorry excuse and you know it. Your band? They’re your family! Were they forced to love you if we’re going to use that crappy reasoning”

“Well….I…I don’t know….”

“What about me Luke? I love you! Does that mean nothing?”

“You know…wait what?” Luke said, jumping back onto the balcony.

“Oh thank god you got off that stupid wall! You can’t just scare me like that Luke!”

“What did you say?”

“What?”

“You just told me that you loved me”

“You’re wasted”

“I’m drunk, but not that drunk. Now tell me Y/n, what did you say?”

“I love you Luke! I always have! Even when you were with the chick who ripped your heart in pieces, even when you started introducing me as your best friend…I have loved you since I first met you. Why do you think I came running to try to stop you from doing something that would result in the only light in my life to be gone? I can’t lose you too Luke, and you’re going to throw everything away for some chick? Are you kidding me? You have so much to live for and-”

He cut you off by pulling you into a bear hug.

“I wasn’t going to do it. I knew I wasn’t. But it hurts so much…” He sniffed. You pulled back to see tears in his eyes.

“I love you too you know. I always have too. I just didn’t think you could ever like me back.”

“Oh Luke…”

“Thank you. I need you Y/n. I can’t be without you. Promise me you’ll always be right here?”

“Always Luke. I’ll always be right here.”

He looked at you for a few moments, carefully analyzing your expression before smiling and leaning down to softly kiss you. He then pulled back, and hugged you tightly once again.

“Can we just stay like this for awhile?”

“As long as you want”

2

CLARE (45, streaks in her hair, excessive jewellery, exotic clothes, a bit of an aging rock chick, with a bit of the wasted look of an ex-addict) sits on the back door step of CATHERINE’s three-bedroom terrace house. She’s smoking a fag, and she’s wrapped up warm with a steaming hot mug of tea in her hands.

They don’t understand how it feels to be walking down a crowded street with tears dropping all over your cheeks, they don’t understand the way it makes your heart feel to watch something that was once so fucking beautiful just disintegrate, without being able to put it back together. Even if I never get over this fully, even if I never love the same way again, I recognise how lucky I was to be able to feel that much for another human being. As hard as this is to admit, I loved you deeply and honestly with not a bit of selfishness in my bones. Almost a year later all I want to see is you happy, and it breaks my heart that you’re not. I hope that one day you learn that cheap thrills won’t be able to listen to your fears and nightmares, but hopes and dreams, and they certainly won’t be there by your side to help you pursue them. Even if I never see you again; I hope you realise the mess you have made, I hope something good comes out of this, I hope you realise how badly you broke me, and I hope you never hurt another person the way you have hurt me. I never, ever want someone to stay awake until 4am begging some form of God to bring you back, or to fall asleep shaking at night because they can’t get you out of their veins, I never want you to make someone feel like that again. And I also hope that nobody ever makes you feel that way. I know that you’re going to make someone happy some day, I know that they’re going to tear up with the happiness of you being in their life, and they will fall in love with you on Monday mornings; I know this because I used to be her. Everything with you was beautiful. Experiencing life with you was beautiful. You were beautiful. You showed me and helped me to grow into the person I am today, and a part of you will always be inside of me, even when I’m 60 years old, you’ll be my first-lived fairytale and nightmare I will be telling my grandkids about with goosebumps all over my pale skin. Thank you for that. Thank you for teaching me how to open my heart up to that kind of love that I never experienced before, for trusting me and allowing me to trust you, thank you for letting me cry. You have taught me more than I could have ever imagined learning. Thank you for loving me, and thank you for stopping.
Pool Day (Calum Imagine)

Request: You are best friends with the guys and have a pool day and your top keeps falling off so one boy takes you inside and smut ensues?

I changed it up a little bit, and there’s not a full smut scene cause I’m a baby and still trying to get used to writing smut! Let me know what you think!

***


“Hey! You’re cheating!”

You laughed at Luke’s half-opened eyes, treading water to stay afloat. You were with your four best friends, happy that they could spend a pool day with you now that their most recent tour had ended. You were currently playing Marco Polo, with Luke being a little shit and constantly cheating in an attempt to stop being it. Ashton had quit the game a long time ago, choosing to have a beer instead, and Michael was already half drunk, laying across a lounger. It had been a good day.

“I’m not even cheating!” Luke defended, moving closer to you. You instinctively swam backwards, bumping into Calum who was the only other person playing.

“He’s been it for awhile.” Calum whispered in your ear. You nodded, and squealed when you felt his hands grip your waist underwater. “Someone must be sacrificed!”

“What? Calum, no-”

Before you could say much else, Calum picked you up and threw you towards Luke, you screaming as you hit the water again and plunged down. Luke pulled you up from under, and you sputtered for breath, trying to get the chlorine from your eyes.

“Calum! You piece of shit!” You yelled, finally opening your eyes. His were wide and staring just below your neck, a flush coloring his tan cheeks. Luke cleared his throat, quickly letting you go and shifting away.

“Y/N, your tits are showing!” Michael laughed. You looked down to see your bathing suit top floating next to you. This was the second time it had came off today, but earlier you had fixed it without creating a spectacle.

“Stop acting like it’s the first time you’ve seen boobs,” Ashton drawled at Michael, obviously not phased. You hurried to fix it again, quickly covering yourself back up.

“It probably is the first time Michael’s seen boobs,” Luke added, poking you in the back and offering a shy smile, trying to pass it off as a joke. You smiled gratefully at him, giggling slightly.

“I hate this swim suit,” You admitted. “The fabric is weird so it never stays tied.”

“We can lend you something,” Ashton offered, picking up the bottle of sunscreen. “Just a shirt or whatever, you know? It’s not a big deal.”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” you smiled, getting out of the pool. You turned to look at Luke, raising your eyebrow. “Can I borrow something of your’s?”

He nodded, “Course.” He moved to get out of the pool, and you watched as his back flexed, it slightly red from the sun.

“You need more sunscreen,” Ash scolded him, immediately squirting a glob onto the blonde’s skin. Luke winced, and you laughed as the white substance stood in stark contrast against his sunburn.

“Mikey looks kinda burned too.” You pointed at the drunk boy’s skin, which was so light and milky that even the slightest bit of sun seemed to aggravate it. Luke did the same that Ashton did to him, squirting the lotion onto Michael’s back.

“You should do it in the shape of a penis,” Calum said suddenly from behind you.

“Fucking great idea!” Luke laughed, making shapes with the soothing lotion. Calum lightly grasped your wrist, leading you inside.

“I’ll get you something,” He swallowed, making his way through the house. You followed, finding him a bit more soft-spoken than usual, but then again, sometimes Calum was just like that. Once in his room, you watched him sort through his messy drawers before tossing a shirt at you, you catching it with thanks.

“You’re the best!” You laughed at him, watching as a tight smile flashed at you. Calum wasn’t even turned near you, wouldn’t even look at you.

“Cal, what’s wrong…?” You asked softly, moving forward to place a hand on his bareback. He flinched, and you watched as goosebumps suddenly ran across his forearms.

“Nothing.” He said through clenched teeth, obviously something being wrong. “Just go back outside, okay?”

You were taken aback by his rude tone, never dealing with a side of Calum that wasn’t fun-loving. However, you were persistent, and you’d be damned if you let your best friend mope on his day off.

“Just tell me what’s wrong, Cal.” You pressed, moving closer to him. What you didn’t notice was the converse shoes littered on his floor, causing you to trip. He grasped you quickly, and you slammed into his body, both of you ending up on the floor.

“Fuck!” Calum hissed from beneath you, biting his lip as his eyes squeezed shut.

“What’s wrong-”

And suddenly, you knew. You felt it. Because pressing into your abdomen was his fucking boner, and it all made sense. And he knew you knew, too. His brown eyes stared into your’s, and he let out a sigh and let his head flop against the floor.

“I’m so sorry,” He started, his eyes darting to and from your’s quickly. “I’m so disgusting, oh my god. I’m such a pervert.”

“Oh my god, Cal, no,” You blushed, moving his hands away from his face and holding them in your’s. “I know you can’t help it. I’m sorry, it’s the stupid swimsuit’s fault. It’s not a big deal, really.”

His eyes squeezed shut, and when he opened them, there was a change. A raw intensity stared back at you, and you felt a sort of wave rush through your being.

“Y/N, this isn’t, uh, just a one time thing.” He swallowed thickly. “I’ve been feeling this way about you for years.”

At his confession, your jaw dropped, but you quickly realized that the signs were all there. Calum had always been slightly different to you, always more careful, always more protective, always your number one shoulder to cry on. He was the one who would take you on midnight drives where you talked about life, or ate junk food as the sun rose. He had always been there for you, and suddenly it all was crashing around you.

“I’m so sorry,” He whispered, his eyes shining as he stared up at you sitting on his abdomen. You let your thumb drop down to his cheek and you swiped lightly under his eyes, collecting the salty water that had accumulated.

“Cal, I…” You trailed off, trying desperately to find the right words. “You mean so much to me, and I just-” You let out a sigh. “I want you too. You’ve been there for me all my life, and maybe we should just give us a try.”
Before you could see his response, you leaned down, pressing your lips against his. They felt plump under your’s, and he immediately kissed back, snaking his arms around you and tugging you flush against his naked chest. His skin was cool from being in the water earlier, and you used one hand to trace your fingers down his smooth chest, outlining the tattoos on his collarbone that you knew so well. His fingers wandered under the shirt that you had just put on, bunching it so his hands had skin-on-skin contact as they caressed the skin of your waist. Your tongue pushed against his, and a moan slipped into your mouth, and you remembered his issue that started this whole thing. You ground your hips down, and a strangled gurgle sputtered from Calum’s throat.

“Y/N!” He gasped, hands trying to still your actions. “Stop, oh god, stop!”

Immediately, your hips halted their movement, and you lifted yourself up slightly to stare down at your best friend -boyfriend? He took a few calming breaths before opening his eyes.

“I-I’ve been wanting this for half my life. Being with you,” He gasped, trying to not buck his hips up to relieve the pressure. “But you aren’t some easy fuck to me.”

“I know, Cal,” You whispered, staring at him and realizing you really were different. Calum wasn’t particularly a fan of one night stands, but he had had his fair share of never calling a girl back after a good night. He liked sex, and sometimes relationships just weren’t part of the equation for him. You watched as his breath steadied slightly, chest rising and falling.

“Not right now okay?” He finally spoke, using his thumbs to rub small circles on your hips. “Let’s do this right. You mean far too much to me to fuck up. I want our first time to actually be something memorable, not on the floor of my bedroom.”

You nodded slowly, getting up off of him. He still was painfully hard, but you knew that he wanted to prove to you that you were more to him than anyone else had ever been. Your heart swelled at his effort.

“Okay,” You smiled while you shifted his shirt back on right. “So I’ll just go back out there then?”

“Yeah,” Calum laughed breathily. “I’ve, uh, gotta tend to, you know.” You giggled as he rather uncomfortably readjusted his tented pants, heading for the bathroom. He gave you one more smile as he shut the door, and you wandered out back again, thoughts of Calum and your’s blossoming relationship filling your head.

Imagine that one of person from your OTP has died about five years and person A has been riddled with grief ever since. The death was a simple accident as they happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. So now, person B is gone and has left person A to alone with their child who has never really know their other parent. 

It’s Christmas Eve and person A is staring outside their window with a cigarette in hand as they gaze up at the night sky. Smoking was something that person A never used to do but due to the situation, it was a way of relieving stress. Their child has gone to sleep after they had happily spent the evening baking fresh cookies and leaving them out for Santa as well as calling friends and family to wish them a happy Christmas Eve and how they’ll all see each other soon. 

Christmas time is usually painful for Person A because Person B loved Christmas so much. With the snow and the presents, the decorating of the house as well as the Christmas tree. Their child makes everything better and makes the holiday so much more bearable but they’ve always felt like something was missing. Like someone was supposed to be there.

All of a sudden, a star shoots across the sky and person A follows it as it goes down before chuckling to themselves. It was a stupid idea but it just might work….they could make a wish. And one wish only. 

Closing their eyes, they simply wished that they could have more time with person B, if they could simply spend a couple more days with them, it would be enough. 

And what happens on the Christmas Morning is astonishing as when person A wakes up, person B is right beside them, asleep as if they had always been there. The joy is immense within person A and when person B awakens, person A hugs the life out of them and asks if they remembered what had happened to them. Person B remembers very vividly and is beyond happy to be back with their family again. 

But person B informs person A that there is always a price. 

A life for a life. 

At that point, their child suddenly opens the door leading into their bedroom, bright eyed and a beaming smile.

That’s when person A realizes.

Death wanted their son for the cost of the price.

How Rin’s Tail Works

Body language! Checking on ch3 and a few others, and I have another reason to hate the anime.

It gets Rin’s tail wrong and tends to use it a bit more like a dog’s. Which…it isn’t shown being like in manga canon. So, best way to use that tail in fic? Think of cats.

Here’s a cheat sheet I got from looking up some cat body language:

Tail

  • Erect, fur flat: alert, inquisitive or happy
  • Fur standing on end: angry or frightened, threatened
  • Held very low or tucked between legs: insecure or anxious
  • Thrashing back and forth: agitated. The faster the tail, the angrier
  • Slowly moving back and forth: thoughtful, considering; mischievous
  • Straight up, quivering: excited, really happy.
  • Curled around another person’s limb: friendliness, closeness (use rarely; this is probably even more meaningful here considering how sensitive/vulnerable his tail is. best friends and lovers only)

Hope this helps. Do not make it wag around if he’s happy; at most it should “vibrate” to show happiness. Kato based it off a cat’s tail, use it like one!

Happy writing!