happy wilson

Colony Vs. The Tax Evaders for Freedom and Justice

This fills the tentacle square on my bingo card. 
Challenger @rose-on-the-mountain, who is also responsible for the Tax Evaders. 

I’m not sure if this will actually fit into the Happy Lights ‘verse, or if it’s just a fun sort of what-if scenario, but I hope you enjoy it!


“They call themselves The Tax Evaders for Freedom and Justice,” Steve explained. He rubbed at the center of his forehead. “They’re registered as a church.”

“That is a joke,” Tony insisted. “There’s no way that is actually not a joke.”

Steve shrugged helplessly. “That’s what the file says. They’ve recruited some B-list villains including… The Kangaroo, Asbestos Lady, and… Flag Smasher?” He was miserable just reading the names and pushed his tablet away so he could put his face in his palm.

“Wow,” Clint said, “You are a massive troll, Cap, but I don’t think even you could troll this hard. Why are we getting called for this one? Isn’t this something that the cops can handle? Or, you know… the local biker gang?”

“We don’t really have anything better to do at the moment,” Steve pointed out, “And it would be a good training exercise for our newest member.”

The colony didn’t quite understand the point of chairs, but it was trying to imitate its human colony members. Several of the larger tentacles were coiled around the empty chair at the briefing table, and the rest were spread out over and around the table to keep limbs wrapped around their humans. It was a small subcolony of only forty-seven members who had come back with ‘Steve Colony’ after their last trip to the colony homeworld, and looked intent on setting up a permanent colony presence.  

“Can’t we just sic the IRS on them? I mean…The Church of the Tax Evaders for Freedom and Justice. Really,” Clint persisted.

Think of it like a team building exercise, Tony suggested, and the colony lit up gold at his mental voice. I have new arrows for you to try out.

Sold! Clint agreed.

Sold! the colony repeated, flickering through a quick rainbow of colors, and then asked, Sold?

The colony did not understand currency, and the last time Tony had tried to explain the concepts of buying and selling, they’d ended up in a circular loop of Why? for most of the night. About the only thing the colony had been attracted to during the conversation was Tony unleashing financial ‘logic’ into the colony mindspace. It was a good thing they weren’t interested in using the colony’s understanding of math to their own benefit, because they could just about take over the world with only minimal effort and the colony’s help.

Let’s not start that conversation again, Bruce pleaded. “Asbestos Lady?”

Steve checked the notes. He grimaced, but offered, “Apparently she’s fire-proof?”

“And dying of asbestos poisoning?” Sam guessed. His chair was conspicuously tentacle-free, but he had his head propped up on one fist and was casually petting the magenta tentacle that had wrapped around his water glass, the end periscoped up to eye level and nuzzling against his fingers. It flickered gold and the colony was suffused with a definite sense of smugness at the attention. “Has the colony been cleared to leave the tower?”

“Technically or theoretically?” Tony asked innocently. He was completely bound to his chair by a dozen thick loops and being towed around the table at the colony’s leisure.

Sam hastily held up a hand. “I don’t even want to know. Plausible deniability is a thing.”

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anonymous asked:

Steve's puppy is in love with his shield. She insists on sleeping in it, eating out of it, and is not impressed when Steve tries to swap in a replica to fool her.

Tabitha was tiny and black and white with a little black spot around one eye and Sam took one look at her and joked that she had the same worried crease between her eyes that Steve did.

He’d adopted her from down South, a pit mix of some kind that was attentive and sweet.  And curious. Snuffling around his gear and when she tipped his shield over on accident she went scurrying away, only to creep back when it didn’t chase her and nose at it until she realized it was perfect for a rocking-bed.   

Steve took approximately 300 pictures and decided there was no harm in letting her doze in his shield while he set up her bed and bowls and toys and made sure he’d puppy-proofed everything.

Only.

Only that wasn’t the end of it.  A week later, and she was still nudging it with her nose until it tipped over and snuggled in for the night every night.  He’d given her a meat bone earlier in the day and she’d trotted off with it, tail high, to curl up in his shield and chew on it.

It was on his next mission he decided things had to change.  The fur could be easily brushed away and the bone bits washed off, but the leather straps had little teeth marks in them that would soon be big teeth marks and Steve realized he might have encouraged a bad habit without meaning to because it happened to be cute.

So he bought her one of the plastic replicas he found on Amazon and set it on the floor for her.  She was interested at first but had barely gotten a paw in it before she pulled back and left it for his actual shield.  He put treats in it and tried redirection and she kept stubbornly (like you, Sam smirked as he filmed some of Steve’s unsuccessful retraining) refusing to use the plastic shield.  

He went on Etsy and bought a cosplay replica that was an impressive facsimile.  So good, Tabitha laid down in it.  

For five minutes.  

It was Clint who finally fixed everything, sending T’Challa a series of photos and a note that simply read “a little help?”.

A week after that, a package arrived from Wakanda.  Inside, a perfect replica of Steve’s shield in pink, white, and blue with “Tabitha America” painted on it and half-dozen leather straps for her to chew.

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Starver’s Carol - A Winter’s Feast Klei Dev Cover - Happy Holidays!  –  Klei Entertainment

Last week we released sheet music and lyrics to a “Starver’s Carol” and loved the covers people started recording! We decided to have some fun with it and do our own recording! Here’s the “Starver’s Carol” animated, and sung by developers and team at Klei Entertainment. Happy Holidays from everyone at Klei!