Concept: We’re staying in a log cabin. It’s a perfect spring day; not too hot nor too cold. I’ve just made us some tea and we’re sitting on the front porch together looking out at the lake. The water is still and it reflects the blue sky and the many trees all around us. Everything is quiet. Everything is peaceful, and my heart feels as warm as the cup of tea in my hands.
to the doormat in me; you have the right to say no. never apologize for your decisions— explain yourself only at your discretion. never feel pressured to defend your choices. you do not need a reason to put you first. let your favors be in love and come from your overflow. do not starve yourself to feed others out of fear of loneliness. serve you everyday. say “no” today. say it again. don’t waste time trying to figure out who feels what about you. you have the right to be the only person you live for. free up your time that was once full of commitments that didn’t honor you. the kind of love worth a favor is counterfeit. do not become bitter when you see the love you gave was not returned to you. continue to love with discernment. you have the right to boundaries that only abide by you, and cause no harm to others. make it a mantra for others to follow. fall in love with having a voice. now fall in love with hearing your voice. become your favorite sound. you have the right to love that won’t exploit you. there are people who are okay with you living for yourself. the love you seek flows freely within you. you have the right to please you. do what makes you smile. you have the right to relationships with those that you won’t ask you to pay with your life to love them. your love belongs where it’s appreciated most, not with the highest bidder.
to the manipulator in me; you have the right to engage in confrontations. you do not always have to concede to psychological warfare. allow people to know your wants, needs and desires in its most natural form— tell them. you do not have to live avoiding altercations. let that nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach be a reminder of your release from feeling undeserving. you have the right to ask for what you want directly, confidently. you do not have to plant seeds, use power of suggestion, and create dramatic scenes acting out roles of victim & damsel to access the affection you long for. you have the right to be honest with yourself. you have a duty to remind people how you prefer to be loved. you have a duty to know what to tell people because you know yourself. you have a right to authenticity, and a life void of ulterior motives. you can be yourself and still receive what you need. you will never have to deceive, extort, or exploit others for your needs again because you know there is enough for you. you have the right to ask for more from others. you don’t have accept everything that is given. you have the right to be vulnerable. you have a right to be safe.
to the ugliest parts of me; you have the right to believe beautiful. you deserve to be showered with compliments. accept every kind word you receive without a counter argument. do not second-guess celebrations of yourself. bask in your moments of worship. you are glorious. we will never experience the unique frequency that is you, again. honor your rare existence. you are precious to me. be the best you there is. walk upright, and have compassion stored for the days that you don’t. you have the right to forgive yourself. the love you demand does not rely on successes and failures but on inherent self-worth. you are allowed to be imperfect, and you are allowed to receive love while imperfect. be proud of your work. there is healing in every mistake you made. they have a right to be seen so they can touch others. you are a picture best when shown when complete. find beauty in your own right. join hands with the rest of your existence. i am not complete without you.
use this as a template to create your own boundaries, or you may use this.
people may not use me as their emotional dump. people may not attempt to make me feel less than them. people may not gossip, lie in front of me, or ask me to lie.
people may not invade my space without permission. people may not use my needs to control me. people may not use me or my power to bring harm. people may not be allowed to affect my mood. people may not negotiate me.
i may not be dishonest with myself. i may not please for approval. i may not put down others to feel good. i may not hold on to what doesn’t serve me. i may not use my power to cause harm. i may not settle. i may not compare. i may not neglect my gifts given.
to protect my energy, it is okay to change my mind. to protect my energy, it is okay to cancel a commitment. to protect my energy, it is okay to take a day off. to protect my energy, it is okay to not answer that call. to protect my energy, it is okay to not share myself. to protect my energy, it is okay to do nothing. to protect my energy, it is okay to be alone. to protect my energy, it is okay to sleep in. to protect my energy, it is okay to speak up. to protect my energy, it is okay to move on. to protect my energy, it is okay to let go. to protect my energy, it is okay to change.