Happy Birthday, Matthew Quincy Daddario - October 1st, 1987
“If you’re watching, NASA, you can just send me up [into space] any time. I’m pretty smart. I can probably fix something…[And if we need people to perform the first play…] I mean, who’s not gonna watch that. Who’s not gonna watch…Hamlet in Space. I mean! Space Hamlet!”
Tim’s groceries magically appear on his kitchen table every Monday afternoon. He doesn’t really know how they get there, but he doesn’t question it because he assumes Alfred brings them by. He’s wrong (zombie squad back at it again with the aggressive care taking).
Number of times Wayne Industries employees have walked in on Tim power-napping on the break room couches: nine. In the past month. It’s cool. They’re used to it by now. They know to let him sleep.
When Dick first started hanging around the Batcave, he decided he should design his own secret fortress, but (being an eight year old), his idea of the perfect hideout was… interesting.
“And this is the medical bay, and this is the armory, and this is the moat with the MAN-EATING GUARD CROCODILES.” “I’m pretty sure this where I tell you no.” “No crocodiles?” “No crocodiles.” “Okay ROBOT CROCODILES.” [Bruce sighing]
But it’s still an official blueprint, right? Crayon drawing or not, it has to go with all the other plans. Which means it’s been hanging up in the cave for the last decade and
Yeah, all the other kids have seen it. And they’re keeping the tradition alive with their own designs. Tim and Jason both actually made theirs, if not quite according to the original blueprints (no movie theater, no secret tunnel to Pizza Hut). But they were close enough for Bruce to recognize them the first time he saw. Stephanie is still campaigning to get hers built.
And Damian, with his usual lack of chill, has not only detailed plans, but also construction estimates, a schedule, and a budget spreadsheet. Also he’s been laughing at Grayson’s original for months. (“Robot crocodiles? Really? There are more cost efficient ways to protect your hideout.” “I was eight.” “You don’t even have mechanical blueprints.” “I was eight.” “I could make them if I wanted to. For the record.” [Dick sighing] )
Kara looks down at her phone for a second, suspicious. The phone says it’s Maggie calling, but Kara’s never heard Maggie’s voice sound like this before.
“Kkhhara! Hey! The sister of my – my Alex’s sister! The sister of my Alex!”
Kara lets out a deep breath. “Hoo boy.” Maggie’s drunk. Maggie’s shitfaced. Maggie’s shitfaced and Alex is out of town and Maggie called Kara.
And Maggie and Alex have been together for a while now, and things have been a lot better between Maggie and Kara since Alex was kidnapped, but they don’t exactly hang out without Alex. They can chill in the living room together while Alex runs around the corner to pick up dinner or whatever, but that’s pretty much it.
But Maggie’s shitfaced and Alex is out of town and out of all the people in city Maggie could have called, she called Kara.
So Kara gets Winn to track Maggie’s phone, because Maggie keeps accidentally hanging up on her out of excitement to be on the phone with “the sister of my Alex,” and so she finds herself standing outside a sports bar in a part of town she rarely goes to.
And she elbows her way inside and has to use her x-ray vision to find Maggie because she’s smashed up against the bar, surrounded by tall men yelling at TV screens.
“Kkhara!!” Maggie’s face practically splits into pieces from the force of her grin, dimples threatening to tunnel down into her gums, and Kara understands the power this woman has over her sister. That smile, honestly. “How’d you know I was here!?” Maggie is just thrilled with this turn of events, and she’s completely off her face but so happy that Kara can’t help but grin.
“I came to take you home, slugger. You’re a little drunk.” Kara reaches out a hand, but Maggie instead propels her entire body into motion, throwing an arm around Kara’s shoulders and pulling her into the bar. The force of it would have knocked most humans down, and Kara spares a moment to be grateful that her sister is so physically strong.
“No! Khhhara! You gotta stay, we gotta watch, I’m magic, I’m helping!” Maggie gestures with her other hand to the TVs which seem to be showing a hockey game.
“You’re watching the hockey game?” Kara’s confused – Maggie’s never mentioned hockey before.
“Yeah! But you gotta take a shot every time they fight, okay, super Kara?”
Kara pinches the bridge of her nose. “Hoo boy,” she says again. That’s a lot of shots.
“How about you take shots of water for the next few?” She offers.
Maggie blinks at her a few times, face serious, before she cracks another huge grin. “THE SISTER OF MY ALEX IS A BABY GENIUS,” she crows, waving her arms dramatically to make sure the whole bar knows.
She gets literally everyone in the entire bar to take a shot of water for the next fight, which Kara’s sure the bartenders are thrilled about, and she clinks with all the people around her, and makes them all cheers “to hydration.”
She’s fucking hilarious. Kara’s filled her phone with photos and videos, and she sneaks Maggie’s (inputting her sister’s birthday as Maggie’s lock code, because this woman is so fucking smitten it’s ridiculous) to take more footage.
By the end of the game, Maggie has transferred herself entirely onto Kara’s back, holding on like a koala. And she’s so happy, and she won’t stop yelling into Kara’s ear about how much she loves Alex, and how much Alex would love shots of water because Alex is a doctor and doctors love hydrating, and how much of her body is water, and how much she loves Alex, and how being smart must be genetic in the Danvers family, and how she knows they aren’t genetic-ed together because of the big ole secret she can’t say (Kara shoves another shot of water in her mouth there), and how much she loves Alex.
And Maggie makes Kara walk her all around the bar like a victory lap and she shakes hands with every single person in there, and calls them all “my dude” and she tells them all “I know you love me but I’m a lesbian for my Alex and this horse is her sister” and Kara is so glad to see that not one of them seems to even blink at that information.
Kara doesn’t get her out of the bar until about twenty minutes after the victory lap ends because Maggie remembered she had pictures of Alex on her phone and wanted to show them to everyone because “my Alex is the most beautiful doctor of aliens in the multiverse, my dudes.”
But finally they’re outside on the sidewalk, Maggie still piggybacked on Kara.
Kara considers her options, and figures it can’t hurt.
She trots to a nearby alley and transfers Maggie from her back to her front, tucking her firmly underneath one arm.
“What are you doing, my horse of Alex? Where are you – OH MY GO—WHOOOOOOAAAAAA!” They lift off, Kara going slowly at first in case Maggie is going to freak out or get squirmy.
But Maggie’s eyes just get super wide and she whoops and she is clearly so fucking delighted. Kara flies her home the long way, detouring over the ocean and doing a couple loops because she’s never seen Maggie so happy, so light, so childish, so thrilled.
When Kara touches them down inside Maggie’s living room, Maggie looks up at her, eyes glassy with happiness. “Can we do that again with my Alex?”
Maggie wakes up to one of the worst headaches she’s ever had.
She groans, and it takes her nearly ten minutes to screw up the courage to open her eyes.
She rolls over – so slowly – and grabs her phone off her nightstand. She can’t believe she remembered to plug it in. She must have been off her fucking face last night – she can barely remember a thing.
Her face screws up in confusion – she has like a million texts in the group message with Kara, Winn, James, and Alex. She scrolls through them, realizing that they’re photos and videos from Kara documenting her whole night.
This is monumentally embarrassing.
Alex clearly woke up earlier, and has already flooded Maggie with loving texts, admiring her shots technique and confirming her medical approval of “water shots.” Alex says that she loves her and that she’ll be home tonight and she’s ordered a pizza to be delivered at 12:30pm to get Maggie through her hangover.
She’s the perfect woman.
Maggie has one more text, this one from Kara.
i had the BEST time last night, my dude. can’t wait for the next hockey game. xox -the sister/horse of your alex.