happy hogswatch ;)

Hey, friends.

It’s been a long, hard year. I hope that for many of you, whatever holiday you celebrate is giving you a chance to find some joy here at the tail end of 2016. I know for some of you it isn’t, and I wish you the strength to get through it and better things in your future. I’m sending my love out to all of you.

Even if you don’t celebrate anything, if you live in the northern hemisphere the days are getting longer now, and that’s something to be glad of. The world, as Gordon Bok says, is always turning toward the morning.

Happy Hogswatch.

In the Grotto of the Hogfather, a round-eyed child.

HAPPY HOGSWATCH. HO. HO. HO. AND YOUR NAME IS… EUPHRASIA GOAT, CORRECT?

“Go on, dear, answer the nice man.”

“’s.”

AND YOU ARE SIX YEARS OLD.

“Go on, dear. They’re all the same at this age, aren’t they…”

“’s.”

AND YOU WANT A PONY-

“’s.”

[…]His shape flickered for a moment, and then a hand went into the sack.

HERE IS A BRIDLE FOR YOUR PONY, AND A SADDLE, AND A RATHER STRANGE HARD HAT AND A PAIR OF THOSE TROUSERS THAT MAKE YOU LOOK AS THOUGH YOU HAVE A LARGE RABBIT IN EACH POCKET.

“But we can’t have a pony, can we, Euffie, because we live on the third floor…”

OH, YES. IT’S IN THE KITCHEN.

“I’m sure you’re just making a little joke, Hogfather,” said Mother, sharply.

HO. HO. YES. WHAT A JOLLY FAT MAN I AM. IN THE KITCHEN? WHAT A JOKE. DOLLIES AND SO ON WILL BE DELIVERED LATER AS PER YOUR LETTER.

“What do you say, Euffie?”

“’nk you.”

“’ere, you didn’t really put a pony in their kitchen, did you?” said Heavy Uncle Albert as the line moved on.

DON’T BE FOOLISH, ALBERT. I SAID THAT TO BE JOLLY.

“Oh, right. Hah, for a minute-”

IT’S IN THE BEDROOM.

“Ah…”

MORE HYGENIC.

“Well, it’ll make sure of one thing,” said Albert. “Third floor?” They’re going to believe all right.”

YES. YOU KNOW, I THINK I’M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS. HO. HO. HO.

—  DEATH, Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett

HO. HO. HO. YES INDEED, HELLO, SMALL CHILD CALLED VERRUCA LUMPY, WHAT A LOVELY NAME, AGE SEVEN, I BELIEVE? GOOD. […] HERE WE ARE, DON’T MENTION IT. HAPPY HOGSWATCH AND BE GOOD. I WILL KNOW IF YOU’RE GOOD OR BAD, YOU KNOW. HO. HO. HO. 

“Well, you brought some magic into that little life,” said Albert, as the next child was hurried away. 

IT’S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather.

“You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?”

YES. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL BELIEF. 

— DEATH, Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett

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WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN’T SAVED HIM?

“Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes?”

NO

“Oh, come on. You can’t expect me to believe that. It’s an astronomical fact.”

THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN.

“Really? Then what would have happened, pray?”

A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.

WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN’T SAVED HIM?

“Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes?”

NO.

“Oh, come on. You can’t expect me to believe that. It’s an astronomical fact.”

THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN.

“It’s been a long night, Grandfather! I’m tired and I need a bath! I don’t need silliness!”

THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN.

“Really? Then what would have happened, pray?”

A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.

– Hogfather, Terry Pratchett