happy hank

This is Halloween

“I could make a sweater big enough for all of us to wear,” Mable suggested.

“What would that be a costume of?” Dipper flipped through the channels on the television. While Gravity Falls public access tv had improved since the influx of nonhuman individuals with traits and stories they were willing to share, Dipper was thankful for making a deal that ended in them getting free cable.

“We’d be a close-knit family!” Mabel punctuated her sentence by playing a rimshot on air drums with her knitting needles.

“As fun as that idea sounds,” Henry started, “I don’t think the kids want to spend all Halloween at the McGuket-Northwest mansion and I doubt Stan will want to stick around the whole night.”

“Besides, what happens if I have a really strong summoning? You guys will either be dragged with me or will slip out of the costume when there’s one less person occupying the space.”

“Next suggestion, then, Twin-”

“No!” Both Henry and Dipper voiced their objection, but Dipper’s was more terse and Henry’s more firm.

Dipper shifted his focus to the television. On screen was a stop-motion movie with a skeleton singing about how different his surroundings were. Dipper quickly changed the channels, recognizing that it was claymation. Mabel’s phobia had improved over the years, but he didn’t want to risk a relapse.

“Wait, go back.” Mabel was looking at the television.

“Are you sure?” Dipper asked

Mabel nodded. Dipper returned to the channel, but his eyes were on Mabel. Her eyes widened. She gasped. Then a smile spread across her face.

“That’s it! Henry can go as Jaques Skullington. I can go as Ragdoll Sarah. Dipper can go as Woogie Boogie. The triplets can go as Lock, Stock, and Barrel. I guess we’ll flip the characters’ genders so we have two girls and one boy instead of one boy and two girls. That should be fun to design. And triplet costumes get even more candy than twin costumes! Grunkle stan can be Sandy Clause or the two-faced mayor, I could see it going either way.”

Henry nodded along while Dipper stared in shock. “How do you know so much about this movie?”

“Henry and I watched it a few years ago.”

“Wendy recommended I watch it with Mabel. I had never seen it but Mabel insisted that if I was willing to stick around for this long, she should tackle one of her fears.”

“Have you seen it, Bro-bro.”

“Yeah.” Dipper had seen it. With Wendy, in fact. She had summoned him on his second Summerween and offered a bowl of candycorn in exchange for watching The Nightscare of Christmas Eve with her. “It’s a shame claymation creeps Mabel out,” Dipper had said in the middle of the Woogie Song, “She would love this.”

“Well the triplets haven’t,” Mabel walked over and rested her head on top of Dipper’s, “When is it playing again. We can all watch it together, and if the kids like it, we’ll go with my idea.”


At least one viewing and an intense sewing project later, the group made their way to the McGucket-Northwest estate on foot, letting the triplets stop at a house or ten on the way. Acacia was wearing a red onesie with a pointy-eared headband. Hank was wearing a black cloak and pointy hat. Willow was wearing a black jacket and black pants with white felt bones sewn over. All three had masks for a devil, witch, and skeleton, respectively. They also had face paint nearly identical to the masks, so they wore the masks sparingly or traded masks every few houses.

“Onward to the next door, kids! Shall we give our next victims a trick or ask for a treat?” Dipper’s costume looked mostly like a brownish-green sack. To Henry’s surprise, Dipper’s face would sometimes be visible and other times only darkness could be seen beyond the mouth and eye holes. However, by some collaborative means that the twins refused to reveal, the mouth and eyes contorted with Dipper’s expression and the mouth was perfectly synced with his brother’s words.

“Don’t listen to that no-good Boogeyman. He’s a bad influence.” Henry called to his kids

“I think you’re a bit too in-character, Henry.” Dipper protested

“Who says I’m acting, brother?”

“Do I really bug you that much?”

“Oh, no.” Henry groaned.

“What? Was that some sort of word play?” Stan spun the helmet he was wearing to the smiling side. “It’s a good thing you’re not a gambling man, because the odds are not in your favor.”

“I guess he doesn’t find these very a-moose-ing.” Mabel added

Henry sighed, “You know I love you oh sew much, so let’s stop before someone laughs themselves into stitches.”

3

HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY TO THE LEGEND TOM HANKS
(July 9th 1956)

“ Everybody has something that chews them up and, for me, that thing was always loneliness. The cinema has the power to make you not feel lonely, even when you are.”

3

‘Why are you sitting here, Sawyer?’ Roosje asked, clearly displeased with the way the basketball match was going. ‘Shouldn’t you be like on the court, you know, helping your friends to win?’

‘I’ve just made my hair’, Sawyer replied with the duh expression on his face. ‘I can’t just go and ruin it with some meaningless testosterone-ish activity.’ He shrugged his finely sculpted shoulders. ‘I rather watch Auggie kicking Hank’s ass from the bench’, he smirked.

‘Not happy with Hank losing to your brother?” Fern asked her innocently.

‘Absolutely neutral about that,’ Roosje pouted in return.

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