happy birthday to you and my dad too :)

Be More Chill Senior Year, And the Mom of the Year Award Goes to...

Jeremy looked over the package his dad dropped off in his room. It was a little brown box with a happy birthday card taped to the front. The card said,
‘Happy birthday my little Jer-Bear hopefully this gets to you on time. Love mom.’
His birthday was two weeks ago and judging from the state of the box it had been sent around that time too. As usual his mom wasn’t in any hurry to hear from Jeremy. No Express packaging, no texts or phone calls. This was the only time of the year he even heard from her and even then she found new ways to disappoint him.
'And the mother of the year award goes to… not her. Here I am thinking you had daddy issues.’
“Fuck off.” Jeremy considered opening it before tossing it over his bed. Why should he be in a hurry to open anyway? It’s not like she cared enough to even call him, besides he was already late for school as it is. Did she even know his phone number?
'Probably not, but why do you care? I thought you said you “moved on”.’
“I did, but she finds ways to bring my expectations down even further without me even seeing her face.”
'Like I said, mother of the year.’ There was a loud thud from the hallway and when Jeremy looked out he saw his dad wearing his pants half on, half off and the TV remote lying near by. 'No wonder your self esteem’s in the negative numbers, watch the Heere gene pool at work.’ Rolling his eyes Jeremy grabbed his bag, trying to forget about his parents and look forward to school.
'And Michael.’

David: *destroys a whole city with Solomon’s followers*

Solomon: D…Daaaaaad…

David: Happy birthday~~

Solomon: It’s not-… Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

David: Why don’t you blow out your candles.

Solomon: You’ve gone too far this time with this, dad.

David: What’s that? It’s hard to hear over the sound of melting city.

Solomon: How did you even do this?!?

David: A dollop of fairy dust.

Solomon: Daaad.

David: I ripped the tag off a mattress.

Solomon: This isn’t funny, Dad.

David: Who’s laughing? Clearly not all the people who just exploded.

Tree Bros Oneshot: Evan’s Birthday

AN: hey everyone! this is my first deh oneshot, so i hope you enjoy. 

July 10: Connor and Evan have been dating for a few months now, and today is Evan’s birthday. Connor has no idea what to get him, so he seeks help from his sister Zoe and Evan’s other friend Jared. Unfortunately, they’re as clueless as he is. 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,123

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!” Connor panicked, pacing back and forth in his bedroom.

It was currently noon, and Connor had planned to pick up Evan for a little birthday date at four, but there was one problem. He didn’t have a present. 

“Dude, calm down. Just get him like a plant or something. He likes trees, right?” Jared sat in Connor’s office chair, spinning in circles and acting calmer than the Murphy boy. 

“Why don’t you buy him a Keurig? Everyone loves Keurigs,” Zoe chimed in. She was sprawled out on Connor’s bed with her head hanging upside down off the side. 

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Twenty Three Kisses | A Birthday Blurb

On the occasion of Harry’s 23rd Birthday, everything I want for him.

It’s officially 1 February in the UK so it’s allowed. This sits in the Fireproof universe (oh what’s that I hear you say? A Fireproof update?!) but it could easily standalone. I hope you like it x

“One.” His forehead. “Two.” His nose. “Three.” His cheek. “Four.” His jaw.

A wake up whine escapes his throat.

“Five.” His right collarbone. “Six.” His left. “Seven.” Right on his Adam’s apple. “Eight.” His right nipple. “Nine.” His left.

Another whine. “What’re yeh doin’?” It’s lazy.

“Ten.” His third nipple. “Eleven.” His fourth. “Twelve.” Right above his belly button. “Thirteen.” The left fern on his hip. “Fourteen.” The right. “Fifteen.” His happy trail. “Sixteen.” On the hand resting across his stomach. “Seventeen.” His tiger tattoo. “Eighteen.” His naked inner thigh. “Nineteen.” The other thigh.

“Hey…” he stirs again.

“Twenty.” His balls. “Twenty one.” His shaft. “Twenty two.” The tip.

You move yourself up to his face where you began.

“Twenty three.” His lips. “Twenty three wake up kisses for the birthday boy.”

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anonymous asked:

Hey dad, how has your day been?

I had a rough time fixing the table saw at work today and ended up with a bloody nose, and for some reason when my boss asked why I was bleeding, I said, “Oh, uhh, I’m okay. Probably just tired.”

So, that was embarrassing and I have to die now.

It’s like when you say, “Thanks! You, too!” when someone wishes you a happy birthday, only my brain is hardwired to say, “I’m tired,” even when being tired isn’t the problem.

This isn’t meant to be some fake-deep commentary about suffering in silence, by the way. I’m just letting you know that I’m the idiot prince of Nosebleed City.

The Knife and the Lure

A birthday gift for my darling Murder Nakama @damnslippyplanet - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE!

Soulmate AU: Sharing skills and talents with your soulmate.


When Will’s mother left, he had to teach himself how to cook. He wasn’t very good at it.

His father was always kind and patient. He smiled through the burnt eggs and toast, through soft overcooked carrots and too-hard spaghetti. Robert Graham had never learned how to cook himself, and the hours he worked were long, and his small son was so insistent that he do this, please Dad, you do everything else let me help.

Eventually, the meals improved a little, but not by much. Canned food became more and more of a staple - much easier to heat on the stove and hard to mess up. Sometimes Robert would catch Will sniffling in the kitchen corner.

“I can’t even chop vegetables right,” he would say, and Robert would put a hand on his knee (not hold him, Will didn’t like hugs since his mother went away) and give him a squeeze.

“But you can fish,” Robert told him, “better'n I can. You’re doing just fine, Will. Just fine.”

And Will would smile, watery but real, and pull the can opener from the drawer. Spaghetti-Os were his Dad’s favourite anyway.

Robert Graham died five years later. Too early to see Will’s sudden and strange developing skill.

He didn’t get to see Will make his first roux, perfectly and from scratch, without measuring a single one of his ingredients.

He missed the first time Will picked up a knife and began to chop peppers effortlessly, like he could do it blindfolded, like he’d been doing it for years.

He wasn’t there to taste the most perfectly cooked steak, rare - the way Robert had liked it - pink and bloody on the inside.

And he never saw the day that Will realized how he had developed such a skill, and why. Which was good, really. Will would never have wanted to break his father’s heart.

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Chip off the Block

Character: Dean Winchester

Warning: Mention of parent death

Word Count: 1,503

Pairing: Dean x Daughter!Reader


Can I get a Dean thing, where the reader is his daughter, a result from a one night stand, and they only know she is his daughter because Michael tried to use her as a vessel? And the reader is learning how to hunt from Dean, like Dean from John? ½

And could it be super adorable with learning moments, like the reader learning the uses of salt, and that if she were to ever need help, to call for Castiel?

Also, piggybacking of my other posts, the reader would be about 17,making Dean about 21 years older than she


           On his twenty-first birthday, Dean got laid. This was not a significant event; he’d been sleeping with girls since high school. Nothing especially stood out about that girl on his birthday. He stayed until morning and remembered her name, same as always. Then he went on his way, thinking very little about that night. He had to hunt. In the grand scheme of things, what did a little sex matter?

   The seventeen-year-old sitting in front of him is proof that it matters a lot.

   “So Michael … tried to inhabit you?” Dean asks her. She already told him the story, but he can’t believe it.

   “Yeah. Said something about needing a vessel, and he told me it wasn’t possession, but it sure sounded like it. You said he’s an angel?


   “Is there a difference?”

   “Archangels are a bigger pain in the ass.”

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Originally posted by trapgodbreezy

Back at the studio again, I have done nothing but features. I haven’t attempted to touch my album yet “I think I am going to call it a night homie, did you upload the song on Soundcloud though? So I can post it on my page?” It’s like six in the morning, I need to go home and sleep some. I did call Rylee when it just turned her twelve on her birthday so I don’t want to call her again, not at this time of night. She will scold me for being awake, Barbados is like three hours ahead of me but I can’t do it “it’s uploaded, you just need to post it on your page” my sound engineer said “cool, cool. Thank you, same time tomorrow. I am finna go now” I have nobody in the studio with me, I don’t bother because after all that shit, I am still annoyed with it. I also want my mind not clouded, grabbing my backpack “you want me to send the tracks?” he asked, placing my backpack over my shoulder “yeah send them, I will wait on the pay check now, send the beat to Tyga for me too” opening the door to the studio to leave, I am tired as hell.

I find it funny that niggas want to get jealous, just because I am keeping clean, they don’t like it. It’s weird, I see it for how it is, it’s like they want me to be bad. Pressing the elevator button, I haven’t checked on my phone in a while. Getting my phone out from my pocket, I am mad jealous of Rylee. She seems to be having the best time, her spirits are high after all that with her mom. I am glad she is having fun in a bikini, showing her body off, I mean I love it. That is a lie because I am seething, I hate it. She keeps baiting me with these pictures on Instagram, it is my fault. I did complain and now she won’t stop, she has text me twice. Unlocking my phone and tapping on her messages, stepping onto the elevator “wow” I said to myself, she done it again to me. Talking about do my legs look good in this, she knows my weakness. Looking ahead of me taking in a deep breath, the elevator doors slowly closed “hold up!” placing my hand between the doors so they didn’t close, I know this face “Bailey?” I said shocked “Oh, Chris” she stepped onto the elevator “what are you doing here?” the hell is she doing in this place “I was with Lo, he is in a different room” that nigga is really pissing me off “right, but he knew I was in there” I am feeling I want to go in there but I won’t “he did, you said you wanted to be alone” I remained silent, I just want to go now.

Stepping off the elevator “Chris” Bailey said behind me “what’s up?” turning around, I don’t wish to speak to a snake. I haven’t had the chance to speak to Rylee about it either, why ruin her time away “have you spoken to Rylee at all?” what a weird question “yeah, we talk every night or day. Whenever” I shrugged “oh, she hasn’t spoken to me since she left” why is she telling me this “she has a lot going on right now, maybe” I am glad Rylee doesn’t speak to her, she is a snake “are you both together then? You seem to be into her a lot?” licking my lips “you might want to speak to your friend about this, but if you was my friend I would tell you nothing” her face dropped “you have no right to say that, she is my friend. You have just come out of nowhere, you just want her for her face. Lo said you will get over it soon” I snorted laughing “right, Lo is slightly obsessed with Rylee. I am beginning to notice this a lot, how about you and him stay out of mine and Rylee’ relationship. I am about sick of people saying shit like that, you don’t know me. Leave me alone” why do people like to talk shit, leave us the hell alone.

Banging my car door shut, she done pissed me off. I feel like I am always the topic of conversation, I just want to be happy and clean. Placing my backpack down on the empty seat, watching Bailey walk off. I guess she ain’t got a ride, but if she wasn’t such a bitch I would have given her a ride home “fuck em” I said to myself staring down at my phone, tapping on Twitter after copying the link from my Soundcloud. I am missing Rylee like crazy, I can’t see my daughter because it’s not my time and my mom is in VA. Pasting the link on a tweet and writing a little something out ‘Today is a special day for you Sweetheart’ sending out the link.

Originally posted by vinnicg

Feeling the weight of someone’s arm on my forehead, lazily reaching up and pushing the arm away “stupid” I grumbled turning onto my side. And again, my phone is ringing “my god” reaching over and grabbing my phone “what?” I don’t like being woken up “Happy Birthday bitch!! Wake that ass up, I miss you so much beautiful” Bailey screamed down the phone, a smile formed on my face “awwww Bailey, I will forgive you for waking me. Thank you” let me stop being lazy, it is my birthday. Turning onto my back, seeing Kyrie asleep next to me. I do love staying at family houses, we have to share beds and I have this boy with me “how can you be sleeping in Barbados, girl I seen your tan. You are looking bomb, who been taking those pictures? Cause you can’t be taking those ass pictures” letting out a giggle “my cousin, she is like my personal photographer. My grandma caught us taking pictures and told me to hide my skin, someone might kidnap you. I am like really? But anyways, it is so nice out here, I love it. So much happiness, just to be with my family” feeling a foot kick me, looking to the side of me “kick me again, I will break your feet” Kyrie smiled at me “who you cussing out? Do not tell me you are bullying poor Kyrie again?” she knows me well “he brings it on himself, he kicked me but anyways. Sorry for not keeping in contact with you, just so much is happening” I am happy she called though, Kyrie jumped out of bed and ran off.

Some privacy, at last “how is work? Is Daniel still upset with me?” he is forever upset “it is the usual at that place but they have moved us all, they put you somewhere else too. They wouldn’t tell me, Daniel is fine. He said he will call you later, he is a little butt hurt after seeing the pictures of you leaving the club with Chris Brown. He likes you so much” he is so annoying “I’ll be sure to ignore that call” I rather he just text me “so I saw Chris today, in the studio” she said, pulling a face “how?” I asked all confused “I was in the studio with Lo, he invited me” letting out an oh “oh that is nice” I know Chris was in there “Rylee, Chris was so rude to me, he really talked down to me. I mean I know the guy has no respect for women but I am your friend, I only asked how he was” my mouth fell open, that doesn’t sound like Chris at all “really? Was he drunk or high? That is not him” I don’t accept that “it was just him being him, I asked if you was both together and he snapped at me saying Lo has a thing for you, it was weird. He also had a female in the studio, he made us all leave and it was just them” I don’t need to hear this, I don’t want to know this “what did she look like?” I wonder if it someone that I know “erm she was pretty” is the only thing she said “like model? Was it Rosa Acosta?” he seems to fuck with her a lot “uhh yeah it is, he is a dickhead Rylee. Such an ass to me” I spoke to Chris, he told he was in the studio on his own. I believe him because it was so quiet, why would he do that.

I am not even going to deal with that, I am just in shock. I am reluctant that I am here and he is there but I do trust him, I really don’t know and will need to speak to him but what the fuck, why on my birthday. I am so sad now, I am so not in the mood for anything at all “she is coming!” Kyrie shouted, why is he being so loud “morning baby” my mom said, I couldn’t help but smile “hey mom” I am a mess, I only put on a loose sweatshirt “Happy Birthday my baby” getting down the last step, hugging my mom “thank you, I am just going to get some water” moving back from the hug “no Rylee, the family are waiting” my mom pulled me into the living area, oh god. The family are awake “Happy Birthday” they all said at the same time, I don’t know why I am getting so shy “thank you” hate it being all eyes on me.

Sitting next to my dad “you’re getting old now Rylee, you need to get married” here goes my grandma “mom, please leave her alone. Leave this conversation for another day, but look what I got my baby” my dad pulled a large bag out “this is from your mom and I” I am so excited for gifts “oh you didn’t have too” I grinned dragging the bag closer to me “I hope you like it” looking into the bag “oh my god! You both got me Louboutin’s, oh my god. Thank you so much!” hugging onto my dad “anything for you princess” moving back from my dad “thank you so much mom, this is all I wanted” clapping my hands, I got a pair now. Pulling the box out from the bag “I don’t know why these girls want all this” my grandma waved her hand around “just because you can’t walk in them anymore woman” my grandad said, these two are about to cuss each other out again “these are beautiful! Yes!!” holding up the heel “now you need a man” my grandma added, I sighed out “don’t sigh at me, you need to wear that bikini and those heels and get you a man. Unless you a lesbian” my dad is getting so annoyed with his mom.

Even though I am not speaking to my brother’s they did buy me a designer handbag, I had to say thank you to them. I am just going to let it go, for my mom’s sake that is “well I am glad you like your gifts, we will be having a little party for you. More family to come, you are happy aren’t you?” my mom asked “of course mom, you bought me to Barbados, I have got some new heels. I am seeing family, I love it. I have had a party in LA, stop thinking I need more. This is perfect” holding my mom’ hand “your dad said we have to get those heels, he was determined and why don’t you tell Grandma you have a man? I can’t believe you are dating that Run it Run it boy” I busted out laughing, my mom calling Chris the Run it Run it boy.

Touching my Black Pyramid chain lightly, this really makes no sense to me. Chris wouldn’t be rude to her, he would if she did something to him. I know him, I have spent so much of my time talking to him, or maybe he is not taking his medication but he has been really good with all that. I just don’t get it, why would he do that and why is he with Rosa, this makes no sense to me. I mean it will continue to make no sense to me if I keep on ignoring his calls, he knows I am awake. I logged on to WhatsApp and then posted the picture of my heels, why would Bailey lie to me too. What if this was all true and now my parents know about Chris “god” rubbing my face with my free hand “Rylee!” my mom bursts through the door “yes!?” moving my hand away from my face “come down, cousins are here. They all want to see you” smiling at my mom “that smile can’t hide the sadness, what is wrong? And who got you that?” she pointed at the chain in the box, looking down at it “Chris got it me for my birthday, it’s his clothing line” my mom held the box “oh dear god, this is so nice of him. He is spending money on you already? This must have cost a lot” nodding my head “it did, mom. I will be down soon” closing the box, I need to speak to him.

Three missed calls, a text. Didn’t really help that I posted that picture, he knows I am ignoring him. Sliding across to call him back, I will be devastated with him if it’s true and he is still fucking with her “it’s your birthday! And you called me back!” he seems really happy “yeah, I saw the missed calls. I was just a little busy” I lied, I was just busy thinking if he was being a dick or not “you busy? You can call me later, I have just woke up. Still in bed and shit” I hate these conversations, why can’t he just be good “late night at the studio then?” I said, that was my que to say something slick there “yeah, I had so much to do, I ended up leaving at like six in the morning. I do feel tired still” tired from fucking Rosa’ fat ass “hmmm, you should sleep then” I decided, I can’t be bothered to be speaking on this right now “Rylee, is everything ok? You seem a little off with me?” rolling my eyes “was you in the studio with Rosa last night?” the phone line went silent “what!? No? I was in the studio alone, you know this” he could be playing me off “do I really though?” which is true, I am already insecure because he is Chris Brown, he is a fucking player.

I can hear my family outside, I need to go and spend some time with them “who told you that shit Rylee? I tell you everything” biting on my nail “Bailey called me in the morning and told me you was rude to her, you snapped at her. Said that there is something between Lo and I, and then you had Rosa in the studio, you kicked everyone out to have her in there, what is happening? What are you not telling me?” I am upset from this “wow! Just fucking wow. I didn’t tell you any of this shit because I wanted you to have a good time, I swear Rylee that shit is a fucking lie. That bitch is a fucking liar, she is trying to break us up. Fucking wow. That is all lies. I didn’t tell you anything because of everything you are going through, you didn’t need to hear my shit. I have been having a pretty shit time here but I kept that to myself. Bailey and Lo got it fucking coming” rubbing my forehead with my free hand “then you tell me what happened?” let me hear his side.

I feel I am between these two now “what is the point? You ain’t finna believe me, I am the guy that had sex with Rosa in the beginning like an idiot I am. I am the same guy that nobody likes and is a player as you say, what is the point?” pulling a face “if you think this relationship ain’t worth fighting for then it says a lot Chris” what is even wrong with him, I speak to him everyday “I ain’t say that! I am just saying why explain, you will believe the lies. You will still blame me anyways” he is so annoying “I am not even blaming you in the first place, trust me if I did I would have called you as soon as I got the call. I want to talk to you like an adult, I don’t believe anything. So tell me now” if he doesn’t then I am just going to put the phone down on him until he can act right “fine, so I have had a pretty shit time here. Just seems like everyone wants me to be that bad Chris, everyone seems to want to bad mouth me to make me angry. I was in the studio with the boys the day you got to New Jersey, Rosa came in and said I see you got some new chick. I didn’t want to know, I ignored her and she didn’t like it and then said maybe I should speak to my friends because they been talking shit, so I did. I spoke to them, Bailey been talking shit to Lo. She said that you told her that we didn’t have sex so I goes look, this shit ain’t got nothing to do with any of you if we did or not. So from that moment I knew that Bailey is a snake telling shit about us, so I saw her in the elevator mind you. I didn’t even know they was there, she came at me. Asking me if I am with you, I said ask Rylee. She got funny with me when I told her we talk every day and then said you never call her. She said Lo thinks we won’t make it, I swear down Rylee, that is it. On my daughter’s life, I love her so much. I never had anyone in that studio, I was busy making a song for you”

I didn’t even realise any of this was happening to him, he seemed so fine with things “why didn’t you tell me this before? I told Bailey that we didn’t have sex, just because we didn’t then. I didn’t think she would have repeated it” shaking my head lightly “I believe you Chris, I do. Just you know, she is supposed to be my friend. You was suffering, why didn’t you tell me this?” I am sad he didn’t share his problems with me “because I want to be here for you, I don’t know why Bailey told you that. I am so shocked because I don’t know her, you do. I promise you Rylee, I was busy writing. My problems are minor, we just have haters” fucking Bailey, I am not going to deal her until I get home “this shit happened on your birthday, I am sorry” Chris apologised “no, you didn’t do anything. Don’t say sorry, something that I am going to have to deal with” fucking bitch Bailey.

Sitting outside in my bikini, I did wear the chain Chris got me. I am with my man, I believed him as soon as he said about the not having sex thing. I took a picture of the chain and me, she can digest this shit the vindictive bitch, I would be happy for her, why can’t she be happy for me. Looking at my grandma, she is staring at my grandad “what is you secret?” I asked her “to what?” she has the same eye colour, I get this from her “keeping the marriage alive” she side eyed my grandad “I always keep him on his toes, your grandad was a handsome guy. Not so much now but he was, he had girls flocking. But I have the bomb pussy, he came back for more” I gasped “grandma!” my hand over my chest “don’t give me that, I never loved him. He made me fall in love with his charm, he treated me well” smiling at her “you have been out in the sun for far too long” my grandad interrupted us, you know what. Let me facetime Chris, I miss his face.

Hopefully he picks up that is, it says connected but no picture “ayyeee!” Chris spat “don’t you dare say anything stupid” let me warn him first “oh yeah, I got you. I am dying to put your picture up on my IG, you look so good in the chain. I am happy you facetimed me beautiful” he always makes me blush, it’s the way he stares at me “I miss you and also, I don’t want you to think I am upset with what happened. I do not blame you at all either, things like this will make us stronger. And also don’t ever think I won’t believe you. I just like us to talk about things” he looks so cute, he can’t stop smiling either “I get it, I just don’t get why people don’t want us together. I think we good you know; we don’t need people. I am still going to beat Lo, he needs it” side eyeing Chris “please don’t, you are better than that” placing the phone further down, so the camera is between my boobs “I thought we keeping this PG? You can’t do that” I shrugged smiling “who you speaking too?” my grandma spat “my boyfriend” I said “my mom calls you the run it, run it boy by the way” oh god, she is walking over to me “let me see this boy, come on. Don’t you lie to me” she said, I can’t stop laughing “oh is this the boy? Rose, it’s the boy. You told me you had no boyfriend” Chris is getting so shy, this is hilarious. He moved his face away “where is he?” my mom ran over “Hey, run it, run it boy. Come back” Chris bought his face back on to camera “hi Rylee’ mom and grandma” he waved, how adorable is he “he is handsome, Rylee he is a beautiful man” my grandma is so close to the camera, she needs to move back.

My mom and grandma are obsessed, I have to walk away with my phone because they was taking over “my mom took over back there, you see her. She even got her glasses on” Chris is still laughing “they cool, you should have left me with them” he thinks I would do that “Rylee, I can’t find my shoes” Kyrie said to me “uuuhhh, have you tried looking outside? I am sure I saw them outside, I am not doing it for you so go and do it and find them” he is asking me because he thinks I will go and find them for him “you mad mean to him” hearing Chris say “mean? I am not, he wants me to be his slave” walking up the steps “I want that too” Chris wishes I was his slave “right, if I am your slave then I will be walking around in my new heels in just my bra and panties on, you can’t touch me at all” closing the bedroom door behind me “No, if you are my slave. What I say goes, I just want you to sit on my face constantly” flicking the camera around while pointing my phone at the long mirror “why you doing this to me!?” Chris spat, he really can’t control himself.

Originally posted by dailycbrown

I already miss Rylee, we just spoke on the phone and I want to call her back. Placing my phone at the side of me, Rylee’ family seem really cool. Her brothers are dicks but other than that, they seem really nice. I just know that Rylee is the apple of everyone’s eye, she is the loved one, but it shows. I can’t wait for Rylee to be back in LA, I don’t mean to be clingy but she seems to be the only person to understand me. I am angry that Bailey lied on me like that, she could have cost me Rylee. It may be a bad thing to expose my relationship with Rylee to the world but then again, I am proud of her and I want to show her off. Blowing out air, Rylee’ grandma is crazy. She was checking me out, I think I have the family approval.

Staring at my Instagram, contemplating on whether I am making the worst decision or the best decision in posting a picture. I want to celebrate her too, I can’t hide Rylee forever though. You know what, fuck the world because that is my girl. Tapping the camera, scrolling down on my camera roll. I have the perfect picture for this, I kept that picture I took of Rylee when we went to Six Flag’s. Her side profile and smile, she is so damn beautiful. Tapping the picture, she will probably say that she hates the picture but it’s actually really nice. Pressing next to put a caption under the picture ‘Because you’re my greatest gift, I seal it with a kiss! Happy Birthday beautiful’ I don’t want to write too much, that is just perfect.

Now I can’t help myself, I am posting a second picture. The selfie she took of us at Six Flag’s, I would post so many pictures but I need to stop ‘She called me a corny nigga after this picture was taken! Can’t wait for you to come back’ I just remember every moment with her, it is funny that I do but I treasure every moment with her. Locking my phone, I guess that is it now. I just want to be happy and that is with Rylee of course, I just noticed that I have not left this house all day. I need to actually go to the studio, I might ask if Mijo will come with me. If I ever see Bailey, I won’t even look her way. Just because she will twist my words, I am just going to walk by her.

Just as I was about to call Mijo, Rylee’ name popped up. Picking the phone up “hey” she has called very quick after the picture posting, I hope she ain’t going to say why did you do that “oh my god Chris, thank you so much. My emotions are everywhere, I just listened to the song and then the pictures. What did I do to deserve you, thank you so much baby” she called me baby “it’s cool, the least I can do for you. I just want to make sure you have a good day, we are official to the world now” rubbing the top of my head “I don’t even care anymore, you made that song with me in mind? I don’t deserve that! I can’t wait to see you. Thank you, honestly. I don’t care about anybody else, it’s about me and you” I am grateful she is happy after all that bullshit.

Today could have really gone to shits, I am just happy Rylee is not like the other girls with the dramatics after she heard the lies “I’ll be back soon, how are you feeling now? You should have really told me if you was feeling that way Chris. I am always here for you, I know I told you about my mom but you should have said something” why is she so sweet, I don’t deserve “because that is mad selfish, making it about myself. I just want to do everything I can to make you happy, believe me Rylee it hurt me to hear you cry. My issue is just minor, I just get to see the real niggas for who they are” I can hear the music in the background, she should be celebrating her birthday “I am embarrassed that I did cry, I appreciate you for listening to me. I need to be happy for my mom, she is having the time of her life with everything. Oh yeah, you know my mom doesn’t know that I told you about this, she actually wants to meet you before she has her treatment. Now I told her that it’s a little too soon but she don’t want to look ill in front of you. It’s up to you but my family are inviting you to their home before that” I am shocked, they want to meet me “really? They want to meet me? I am shocked, I don’t mind. I am free whenever” meeting the parents, this will be different “we will figure something out, god. I can’t wait to see you Chris” I think I should let her go, I am taking her time “same, struggling without my girls. I better let you go though, it’s your party. You have fun, I am going to the studio and if I see them I will be good, for you that is” I still want to punch Lo in the face “ok, call me whenever you want though, I do miss you like crazy but goodnight noodle arms, if I don’t get to say it later” letting out a little laugh “you are just jealous that I have long arms, fool. Goodnight beautiful” the phone line went silent, it is like we didn’t want to disconnect the phone call. Let me do it, I am ruining her day already. Sighing out as I disconnected the call.

Tagged by @starryflowerscafe and @nylock17

RULES: Tag 10 people (or as much as you want) you want to get to know better

BIRTHDAY: February 6th! Fun fact, I have the same birthday as my dad, and my dad has a twin brother so I have the same birthday as my uncle as well! It makes the response “You too,” after someone wishing you happy birthday, acceptable.
GENDER: Questioning, but I’m gon say Genderfluid for rn
PETS: I have a dog named Bella who is a white pitbull mix and I got her 5 years ago and she still acts like a soft puppy I love her. And I also have a cat named Stormie (short for Stormaghetton, Dark Lord of All) who is a brown spotted tabby and I’ve had her for I think 2 or 3 years? Me and my siblings begged my mom for years to get a cat and she finally gave in >:3
FAVORITE FOOD: I love a lot of food, but i REALLY love the chicken and dumplings at my old elementary school (I NEED to get that recipe, it’s so good ima cry ;-;)
MET A CELEBRITY: Mmm I don’t think so? I’ve probs seen one at some point but I don’t think I’ve ever met one lol
FIRST KISS: I don’t really count it since I was like 7 at the time, but I kissed my friend in a Chuck E. Cheese parking lot after being told to say goodbye. My mom will say they kissed me, but if I remember correctly, I kissed them. Don’t know why, I never liked them romantically (They liked me at the time, but whatever lol) And I never kissed anyone since lol rip
TALL OR SHORT: I’m 5'5", which is about average? I’m taller than short people and shorter than tall people, y'know

Okie dokie, ima tag me frens…

To the Four of Us (Part Nineteen)

premise: modern AU chronicling the squad as they make their way through college and deal with general life things.

soundtrack song: The End of All Things - Panic! At The Disco

full soundtrack: x

words: 2,640

warnings: STRONG trigger warning for abuse!!! PLEASE keep that in mind before you read. I italicized it so if this applies to you, you are still safe to read this as long as you skip the italics (it is written in first person so it’s also distinguishable by that.) BE SAFE YOUNG ONES I LOVE YOU ALL<3


all chapters: x

tags: @heythereitsloey @anitheunicorn @newyorkyoucanbeanew @lafbagxette @justafangirlwithanavy @iamgrayfox @ordinaryornate @schuylerjoon @angelica-peggy-eliza @trashyperson101 @crazydragon15 @but-if-you-had-to-choose @geespilots @marvelous-hamilfan @5p00kygh05t @panda-powers @and-maria @lafeyettegunsandships @schokoobananaa @allthegoodurlshavebeentaken @aphboi @hell-yes-puns-and-ships @aham-threw-his-shot-away @hesitantcat @nonstopspook @hamrevolution @passmethegoddamnball

dedication: @hamilton-trash-1, @danimeow, @hamiltonshippingmachine, and @victorieschild for liking literally EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY POSTS ((if ur wondering if i notice,, I do)) lol idek if you guys read this but !!! thank you :)

“So who is John anyways?” Charles asked eagerly after ten minutes straight of dead silence.

He, Alexander, and Aaron were half an hour into their impromptu road trip to rescue John from the train station across the state. Charles was growing restless already, which was annoying Alexander and Aaron, although they silently admitted that it was probably their fault for completely ignoring him.

“The guy he’s fucking,” Aaron said, pointing his thumb in Alexander’s direction with a chuckle.

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happy birthday to my dear friend risu! (@risusgarbage)
here’s a cute drawing of our sibling zelink fanchildren ivy and ancel ;; cause i love them and there’s nothing i enjoy more than spend hours and hours making headcanons and aus about these two with you! i have so many fond memories of developing these two over the years, i hope we can come up with even more angsty headcanons/aus for them!

hope you have a rad birthday! ALSO i decided to make a BONUS:

our sibling hildavio fanchildren too! lmao fiori and lancel! clearly the zelink kids inherited dad’s love for adventuring while the hildavio kids are all about rupees like their bunny dad lmao

ALSO ivy and fiori (the girls) belong to my friend risu!
while ancel and lancel (the boys) belong to me! (lmao i’m so original with the names)

Robcina Week 2017 - New Parenthood

Title: A Pleasant Surprise 

Description: Morgan really wants to meet her mom. What right does Robin have but to introduce the two. 

Words: 733 

Authors Note: Changed Morgan’s age a bit to better suit her personality.

“So… when can I see her?”

Robin halted the movement of his quill, feeling the blood drain from his already pale face. The urge to ignore the question was quite immense however guilt quickly overcame all previous emotions.

What right did he even have?

When receiving silence for a response, a young girl with a head of beautiful blue hair grumbled in annoyance.

“Daaaaad,” Morgan drawled out, crossing her arms with agitation. Puffing out her cheeks as would a child, the thirteen year old looked on as Robin leaned back into his chair.

‘No time like the present, I suppose.’

As if losing a valuable argument, Robin slowly rose to his feet and gave a slight incline of his head. “Alright, alright. Hood on first then we can go.”

Listening to instructions, Morgan flipped her long coat’s cowl over her cobalt colored hair and proceeded to follow her father out of the moderate sized tent.

The camp was lively with local Shepherds treading about. Giving his usual greeting to each passerby, both tacticians continued on towards their designation. A few moments later, Robin gave his daughter a quick motion to stay put.

Lucina was practicing her sword technique near the outskirts of the campground. Not noticing the two newcomers, the princess continued on with her rigorous practice.

Mouth near agap, Morgan stood transfixed watching her mother. She had little knowledge of the way of the sword but from what was occurring before her eyes, this was something on a whole different level.

“Wooow,” the young girl spoke in awe, gaze never leaving Lucina’s form. Smiling at his daughter’s excitement, Robin was moments away from calling out to the princess before a blur of black sped past him.

A second was all it took before realization on what was to occur hit Robin. “Wait! Morgan stop!”

At the sound of a voice, Lucina halted her actions before spinning on the heel of her boot. An impact, albeit light, collided into her stomach, causing the future heir to lose her balance and topple to the grassy turf.  

“Sorry! I’m sorry but that was so cool!” A feminine voice rang out as Lucina slowly opened her eyes. The color blue, a shade much like her own locks, occupied her immediate attention as the stranger continued to prattle on. “You’re really awesome and I can’t believe you’re my mo-”

“Morgan!” Footsteps interrupted the duo as Robin fled to the scene. Having witnessed the previous events unfold, the strategist felt his body break out in cold sweat as he struggled to maintain his composure. ‘Okay, best to break the news easily…’

With a slight narrowing of her brown orbs, Morgan clutched onto Lucina’s forearm as the older woman propped herself into a sitting position. “Aww, but Dad! I’ve already waited one whole day from meeting Mom, it’s not fair!”


“My apologies… but what did you just say?” Lucina questioned as the three occupants froze statue-still.

Stifling a tired sigh, Robin scratched the back of his head before making eye contact with Lucina. “Sorry… I um, well…” Stuttering over his own words, Robin fought to find the correct words as his companion blinked with confusion.

Fed up with her parents display of conversation, Morgan leaned towards her mother until they were face-to-face.

“My name’s Morgan. I’m thirteen years old and my birthday is on May fifth. I really don’t like vegetables but if you tell me to, I’ll eat it. I also know how to use magic and I want to learn the sword but I remember my dad saying it was too dangerous which doesn’t make sense because using a tome is also bad and-”

The child continued to chatter on, oblivious of the shock that became apparent on Lucina’s face.

“Uh, uh… wait what!?”

Fed up with how she was getting nowhere, Morgan sprung forward and wrapped her thin arms around Lucina’s waist. Happiness overcame the petite child’s emotion as she buried her face into the older teenagers midsection.   

“I’m so glad to meet you, Mom!” Morgan all but shouted into the silk cloth.

Robin held still as he watched the family interaction unfold before him. Noticing Lucina slowly raise her arm with slight shakiness, she timidly patted the top of Morgan’s head in a gentle manner.

After a minute of hesitation, Lucina finally voiced her opinion with a somewhat delicate smile. “It's… very nice to meet you too.”

Mean (Request)

Could you pleas do one where Harry has a child from a previous marriage - he’s now dating Y/N, but his child doesn’t like her and is being mean. In the end they make up xx


You had never dated a man with a child before. It wasn’t that you didn’t like kids - quite the opposite - you had just never met someone with a child that you had ended up having a relationship with.

You had gone on a few dates with Harry before you met his daughter. The topic had been brought up on the very first date, and it had practically been the first thing he told you about himself. It was very clear to you that (D/N) was his entire world. He had sole custody because the mother was no longer in the picture. They had gotten divorced when his daughter was four and she was now six. He hadn’t dated very much during the last two years, and had never taken a woman home to meet his little girl. After you had been seeing each for about a month, he told you that he really wanted his daughter to meet you because he intended to make your relationship a more permanent and serious affair.

You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t extremely nervous about this meeting. As much as you loved kids, you didn’t know if that kid would like you. After all, you were a strange woman who was spending a lot of time with her daddy when, for the last two years, she had been the only female in his life. As a child of divorced parents, you totally understood how that felt.

Harry invited you over for dinner that night and told you that he was cooking his daughter’s favorite meal, just to keep things as normal as possible. He told you to dress casually and not to be nervous when you got there.

When Harry opened the door you could instantly tell that a child lived there. Unlike your apartment that was covered in plants and artwork and breakable things, you could see toys and dress up clothes over the floor. Harry apologized for the mess as he walked you into the living room, but you insisted that it was fine. It was fun to see that this little girl was very clearly loved and well taken care of. And that she was having fun. Despite all the toys on the floor, you had yet to see the person they belonged to.

“She’s upstairs in her room doing an art project.” Harry explained.

“Sounds fun!” You replied. “I’d love to see it, I really like kids’ art.”

Harry smiled and kissed your cheek. “I’m sure she’d love to show it to you later. She loves showing off her creations.”

You sat in the kitchen while Harry finished up the last pieces of dinner. He had made macaroni and cheese, some vegetables and then cookies for dessert. It impressed you how good of a cook he was, and how much he seemed to enjoy it.

When he went to call (D/N) downstairs to eat, your stomach started doing flips again. You heard her little feet padding down the steps and soon you were face-to-face with a very wary looking six-year-old girl. Harry came up behind her and coaxed her further into the kitchen.

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It's Liam's birthday and you better fucking believe I'm making a huge post about him

•Well first of of all Liam as a kid aka baby Liam was the cutest kid you will ever imagine. he wasn’t like those little devils you see running around OH NO he was an absolute angel (who embarrassingly didn’t learn to walk for the longest time because he kept falling)

•I’ve already made a headcannon about this, but Liam and Cole had lightsabers and would “fight” it was mostly Cole getting angry and Liam just swinging the thing around clumsily going “pew pew!”

•A little bit before he was taken to camp he was bored and wondered if you could actually slip on a banana peel and did it… Ended up fracturing his wrist. Harry didn’t question why he found his stepson on the floor clutching his wrist with a banana peel next to him

•One of my favorite things about Liam is that he never forced or pressured Ruby into telling him that she loved him and I look at that and just beg that Liam was real person

•Favorite moments include: socks scene, him falling on his face when he tried to fit in and play with the guys at east river, him creating their own AU, him being such a gententlman when meeting Ruby’s parents, and when he came up with the idea for a mini road trip, Tree house, etc.


•His friendship with Chubs is the type of friendship that when they watch a movie they shout out “that’s you!”

•Since Liam has the energy of a puppy, him having half a cup of coffee means for the next two days he’s jumping off the walls

•When Liam was really little he had the curliest blonde hair and it was adorable I tell you

•Liam Michael Stewart is real husband material 👌🏼

•When they are looking for houses they have to specifically buy one that has no stairs. Ruby has seen him fall enough she would rather just not have to visit the hospital every week.

•Liam’s style consists of at least something with flannel

•OH MY GOSH IMAGINE LIAM IN A SUIT I mean he would be miserable but JUST IMAGINE

•also add glasses to the last look and you basically die of the mental image

•He totally passes out in the hospital when Ruby is delivering

•I’m sure Liam holds the title of dialogue that caused the most pain to our hearts


•97% of Liam’s jokes are dad jokes

•Also 1000% agree with @liamdarlinstewart ’s post. Liam’s abs are fiiinnneee

•out of Ruby and Liam, Liam cried more at their wedding

•he also cries more in sad movies and Ruby always tells him to women up because there is no way she gonna say man up when women up is the same thing *snaps fingers*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND (he’s real and don’t you dare tell me otherwise)

I tried calling you earlier and I guess it’s not your number anymore. I wanted to wish you a happy Father’s Day, even though I don’t even remember the last time I felt like you were a father to me. Sorry to sound cold but today is not one of those days where I could just forget how I feel.

So I saw what your new family looks like and like… It’s weird. It’s weird to see you with someone else as your daughter and son. Because let me tell you, my brother and I are really really great people with really big hearts. We had to grow up and live a lot of years without you. And you know it hurts. Like I don’t think you will ever know the pain it feels to be replaced by your own father.

When is the last time you wished me happy birthday… Do you even remember it? Do you even remember how old I am? What school I go to? Because that’s sad.

I am not very vocal about it at all because god knows why I’m too understanding. God has given me the strength to forgive someone who had me go through depression and has given me issues that are deeply embedded in my heart.

You have made it impossible to believe that someone could really love me; because if my dad left me, what is there to go against any guy leaving me. I’m scared to be abandoned, not only in that way but by everyone around me.

I looked up to you once. You were my hero. My inspiration. I loved you more than words could ever describe. Now. Now I don’t even think I’m capable of loving anyone not even myself sometimes.

I’m not trying to put a damper on your day because it is still Father’s Day. But here is me being the human who had to grow up without for 6 years of my life. If you saw me now, even of you spoke to me now, you wouldn’t recognize me.

I believe everything happens for a reason and you just weren’t meant to be in my life. Because you have left more than once so I understand. I’ve become a lot more understanding. But it doesn’t mean I don’t hurt and I’m not a human.

So happy Father’s Day to the man who raised me and supported me and loved me unconditionally all up until 6 years ago. I’d like to thank him and tell him that I love him because a part of me always questions if he exists anymore because he feels like a ghost now.

With regards,
Your Daughter

—  The email I sent to my absent father

Artist: かおり
Source: (x)

Note: This is only a rough translation. I’m not yet that good in reading kanji, but rest assured that I double checked and looked it up. Let’s wait for our master tlanon’s trans, I hope master picks this up because this is reallllyyy cuuuute and sweet and *sly Naruto*

Naruto: I’m home…
Hinata: Welcome home, Naruto-kun.
Naruto: Yeah, Hinata…
Naruto: I was late today, too… too bad.
Naruto: Eh? Is there something up today?
Himawari: Hmm? Dad?
Boruto: Welcome home…
Naruto: Boruto, Himawari! Why are the two of you still awake at this time?

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Happy Birthday, Dad. You would have been 58 today, you old man you. Jeez….it’s only been a few months since we had to say our last goodbye, but I still miss you so much. I wish you could have met Danny, I know all you wanted was to intimidate one of my boyfriends, but imagine getting to intimidate the one who wants to marry me- I bet you would have gotten such a kick out of that. You would have loved him too, he’s such a dork- just like us.

I’m sorry I missed so many birthdays before this, I’ve been afraid for far too long and I let that control me, but I promise I’ll do better and be strong. It’s what you would have wanted and I know that.

I love you, Dad. I miss you.

Happy Birthday Bo - A Bo Burnham Imagine

This was for the anon who told me I should write something for Bo’s birthday… Which was sixteen days ago. But better late than never, I suppose.


“Happy birthday, baby.” You told him over the Skype call. Bo smiled sadly on his end.

“It’s not exactly happy without you, now is it?” He asked, sighing. He was sitting on the hotel room’s small couch, his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands.

“I suppose not.” You said, checking in the small screen that showed what you looked like on his end to make sure the background was vague. He didn’t need to know quite yet that you were in the same town.

You’d known you had to go visit him on tour for his birthday. You’d taken the flight into Austin last night.

“Well my show’s in an hour. I should probably go.” He said, his voice not usually as excited as it was when he was about to do a show. You nodded.

“Call me after?” You asked.

“Of course. Bye babe.” He told you before he hit end call and your screen went dark.

You sighed, leaning your head back against the head rest of the rental car. Now you waited.


You decided to wait until after the show started to run inside. You didn’t want to risk him seeing you.

“(Y/N)!” Bo’s manager called to you. He was standing right next to the curtain. You’d already called and asked if you could go on stage for Bo’s birthday and of course he’d agreed. “You’re good to go at any time, girl.” You nodded and he walked away.

You knew exactly when you wanted to go on and waited for it. When you heard the joke that came right before it, you dug in your pocket for what you’d brought.

You creeped out on stage, holding a finger to your lips so the large crowd wouldn’t give you away. Finally he began the joke.

“So my dad said he thinks I act too flamboyant on stage and I said ‘Really dad-’”

“Happy birthday!” You cut him off, throwing your own confetti on him. He whipped around, a huge grin on his face.

“(Y/N)!” He said, launching forward to wrap his arms around you. “What are you doing here?”

“Well I couldn’t just miss your birthday, could I?” You asked with a smile.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss you quickly, earning catcalls and whistles from the audience. “I’ll meet you backstage after the show.” He told you and you nodded, waving to the crowd before walking offstage.

Before you got all the way to the side, however, you heard someone yelling “Enjoy the birthday sex!” from the audience. You stopped and grinned out at everyone.

“Oh I will!” You yelled back.

Bo looked at you like he wanted to strangle you.