happy birthday text


“of course, it’s been my experience, when you hit bottom, the only place left to go is up.” 

happy 16th birthday, atlantis the lost empire!! (15th of june, 2001)

Happy fWHOREth of July 🇺🇸💥 my fellow SLUTTY 🍆💦 AmeriCUNTS! 🇺🇸😂 On this day 📅 in 1️⃣7️⃣7️⃣6️⃣, the DADDIES 👴🏻🍆 of our nation 🇺🇸 got DRIPPY 💦💦 together & signed 📝 the Declaration of IndependSEX, 🇺🇸👉👌 breaking away 💔 from those COCK BLOCKING 🚫🍆❌ Brits 🇬🇧☕️ & giving us our 🙌 freedom 🙌 to FUCK! 🍆🍑💦 So grab those 💥 sparklers 💥 & start LICKIN 👅💦 some BUTTHOLES 🍑 good ol AMERICAN style! 🇺🇸💦 SHOOT ↗️🎉 your LOAD 🍆💦 of 💥 fireworks 💥 off, FLOP ⤵️ those BIG ASS 🍑 John HanCOCK 🍆🌭 WEINERS 🌭 on the grill, 🍳 & wave 👋 the 🌟 Star SPANKING 🍑👏 Banner, 🇺🇸 praising 🙌 the red 🔴, WHITE ⚪️💦 & blue! 🔵 Send ➡️ this to 1️⃣0️⃣ PATRIOTIC PUSSIES 🇺🇸😹 or you won't 🚫 get Lady Liberty's 🗽 GREEN TITS 🗽 in your face tonight! 😭 Get 3️⃣ back & you're a 🇺🇸 Ben FrankCLIT LICKER 👅💦 Get 5️⃣ back & you're a 🇺🇸 John PennIS SUCKER 🍆🍆 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back & you're the 🇺🇸 Thomas JefferSUCC SLUT QUEEN 🍆💦👑

text posts + ward + dogs + part 24 + dedicated to the wonderful @slamncram on her birthday!!!


—bf!yoongi | daily texts with the #1 min in your life

A/N: happy birthday @bisbatman 🗣🗣💙💙

Happy birthday my love ❤
I hope you’ve had a fantastic day with the people you love; you deserve the whole world. You’re a ray of sunshine, thank you for being yourself and always following your dreams, you inspire me so much everyday and I look up to you. I want to see you being happy and showing that cute gummy smile we all love. Thank you for always loving and taking care of us, I’ll always support and love you. Also, thank you for opening to us, you’ve helped me a lot even though you don’t know me. I’m passing through some rough moments in in life and you’re the light that lights my way. Thank you for always working so hard to do what you love, thank you for taking care of us, thank you for loving us, thank you for always giving your best to everything you do, thank you for staying strong and believing in yourself, thank you for never giving up, thank you for your songs, they’ve helped me a lot, thank you for being you. Thank you. I love your beautiful, bright eyes that shine with passion, I love your nose, I love your gummy smile, I love your cute little mole you have next to your nose, I love your face, I love your hands, I love your body, I love your pale skin, I love your personality, I love your being, I love you. I hope you continue doing what you love everyday because if you’re happy, I’m happy too. I hope someday I can finally meet you and thank you for everything you’ve done and much more. Always remember to sleep well, eat well, laugh a lot and be healthy, please. Again, thank you. For everything. I love you so, so much.

— I

imagine a pocket sized jungkook preparing a little party for a pocket sized yoongi by baking a cake, putting up garlands and blowing up smol balloons