happy apron

Tanaka and Ennoshita are like the aunt and uncle where Ennoshita is a tired but happy and slightly overworked suburban housewife and Tanaka is the dad who wears nothing but Hawaiian shirts and socks with sandals(crocs too probably tbh) who just stands in the backyard grilling ALL THE TIME while Ennoshita stands on the porch watching him while thinking about burning Tanaka’s horrid wardrobe

He’s baking a birthday gift for himself because no one else would

Soukoku Scenario Collection (?)

Dazai: “My favourite mystical creature is happy Chuuya in an apron.”

***

Dazai: “I finally, can grow my own strawberry.”
Chuuya: “THAT’S A FUCKING TOMATO!!!”

***

Dazai: “Chuuya, let’s play Titanic!”
Chuuya: “What?!”
Dazai: “You be the iceberg and I’ll go down.”
Chuuya: “….”

***

Dazai: *live on instagram* “I hate Chuuya.”
Chuuya: *live on instagram* “I hate Dazai.”

***

Chuuya: “Just stay away from me you emo bandage!!”
Dazai: “I’m not emo. I’m suicidal ✨”

***

[Well, it has some 5sos references. Can’t help myself since 5sos has taken my life away /cry/. I will add some later]

Give Thanks

Originally posted by swallowshazz


The sweat was starting to pool on your lower back, you’d already burned yourself twice, and you were in the middle of basting the turkey when you saw the potatoes start to boil over.

“Niall! Need you please!”

Niall leapt up the stairs to the kitchen. His once pristine kitchen in his brand spanking new house was a disaster. Bowls everywhere, sink filled with dishes, pots and pans strewn over every surface.

“Bleeding Christ girl! What the fuck did ya do to me house?!”  He took one look at your panicked expression and lunged forward to turn the flame down under the potatoes and move the pot. After he’d wiped the floor and made sure nothing else was on the verge of exploding he turned to face you.  He had opened his mouth to take the piss out of you for destroying the kitchen.  He was completely unprepared to find you slumped down next to the oven with your head in your hands.  He knelt down in front of you, pulling your hands away from your face.  “Darlin’ what’s the matter?”  You sighed and leaned your head back against the cabinets.

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Because it was asked of me, and it makes me very passionate, a serious analysis of this particular, iconic scene:

At first glance, funny! Amusing! Ridiculous!

Under the surface…not so funny. And I take many, MANY issues with it.

So, let’s start at square one, shall we? 

What are Marie’s ultimate goals?

Stay with me on this one. These are totally reasonable goals, yes? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be retired early and married. The retirement especially is relatable and understandable considering Marie’s line of work. She’s a soldier and being a Death Scythe must have a very low life expectancy, it’s no surprise that she wants to retire. As for being married, however, this is Marie’s personal goal. It is something she wants because she wants to be married. Not because she’s pressured, or because she feels that she must.

Azusa comments upon this by claiming

And I am here for that! …Except, regardless of this concept being old fashioned, it is a concept that Marie, personally, believes in. Marriage is something she wants, it’s something she desires very deeply. She isn’t adhering to the idea that marriage is what will make EVERY woman happy, but simply that marriage is what will make HER happy. Which is very feminist and I will fight anyone who thinks otherwise. The person being anti feminist here is, actually, Azusa. Because she’s trying to push her personal view, that marriage is unnecessary and old fashioned, upon Marie, who was not pushing HER views of marriage being desirable and worthwhile on Azusa.

Notice the changes in language. Azusa is almost patronizing when all Marie said was her PERSONAL goals were to get married and to retire. There is nothing wrong with having personal goals.

That little bit aside (and forgive me for rambling), let’s get to the REAL reason we’re here. My defending Marie for wanting to marry a toilet, which I personally find understandable.

Here’s why.

So, Marie’s goals are to be married and retired. She wants the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, the happy husband, the apron. All power to her. 

But…why the desperation?

Well, part of it stems from pressure and sexism in the SE series. 

Notice what Marie says. “Azusa, you’re still young, you won’t understand.”

This is a very, VERY important line for Marie. Because she is the oldest female character (barring witches) in Soul Eater, and that makes her a joke. Because it’s ALWAYS a joke. To be over the age of 25 in this world when you’re a woman is very, VERY hard, and Marie reflects that. 

Please consider how messed up that is. Marie isn’t even 30 yet. She’s in the same class as Stein and Spirit. Spirit is, canonically, 32 by the end of the Soul Eater Manga, which puts him in the late 20s at this time. If Marie is his age or Stein’s age, who is younger than Spirit, then that puts her at barely over 25. 

And Marie’s role in SE is often degraded to that of a Christmas Cake. Where does the term “Christmas Cake” come from?

“No one wants to eat Christmas cake after December 25th. And no matter how attractive a woman is, it’s said, no male will want to marry her after she’s 25. Thus, “Christmas Cake” is used as a metaphor term for a woman rendered unmarriageable because she is past the freshness of her youth; roughly equivalent to ‘Old Maid.’”

This is a very, VERY sexist trope that comes up again and again in SE in regards to Marie. Consider the following:

“Is this how single, past marriageable age humans are?”

“We have a lot of youth to spare.”

These comments all mean the same thing: That Marie is undesirable. that she is “past her expiration date”. That she is old, and bitter, and jealous, and unworthy of marriage. And, considering that Marie’s main goal is to be married, this is stinging in more ways than one. 

Especially considering the reaction of MEN when these witches, who appear young, which is appealing, interact with them. Spirit and Sid and Lord Death and Stein are all relatively pleasant to Risa and Arisa, especially considering they’re…well, witches. 

And when Marie protests?

Now, Marie is the “killjoy”. She’s the one who can’t take a joke. She’s the one who can’t have fun. Because she’s old. And bitter. And unappealing. These young witches are more desirable to the men in the room than Marie is. That’s why SHE’S told to leave but the witches, who are throwing a party when they should be talking about a strategy to rescue Kid, get to stay and mess around.  And Marie takes this to heart.

Especially in regards to Stein. 

Marie is very much so interested in Stein romantically. And here he is, flirting (er, sort of?) with them. Now, I won’t demonize Stein, here, he’s pretty indifferent to the witches. He’s not Spirit, who was drooling all over them. But he certainly jokes with them in how own, strange way, and certainly doesn’t discourage them, either. 

And he can’t know that Marie is in a position where she is extra vulnerable to these acts, so it isn’t his fault, but that doesn’t change the fact that Marie is watching the man she loves being playful and flirty with women who have just bruised her ego by telling her she’s old and unappealing and that they are young and fresh and desirable.

What Marie is seeing here is a far younger looking woman getting close to the man she cares about, a man she wants to marry, her first love. That HURTS. It has to hurt Marie. Because from the get go, she sees her future of getting married being put against a ticking clock. She is “damaged goods”. She is “unwanted”. She is too old to be loved. 

Think about that for a second. She believes she’s getting to be too old to be loved. Thats terrifying. That’s so painful. And she genuinely believes it.

And it certainly doesn’t help that all her past relationships have clearly panned out in disappointment. 

I mean, I’ll be the one to say it: Joe’s reasoning for breaking up with Marie is shitty. “I was afraid back then that if my ability kept getting stronger that eventually I’d be able to see right through you.”

Which, 1: Implies that he thinks Marie is lying to him. 2: that he would prefer not to know if she is or not (despite the fact that she’s one of the MOST genuine characters on the show). And, 3: That he isn’t invested in finding out and being with who Marie REALLY is.

That’s really goddamn shitty, Joe. Plus, the whole breaking up with her for her own good bit is really uncomfortable for me, but I digress. Every single man Marie has been with has let her down. Every one. She sees herself as a ticking time bomb who is unwanted and unliked and undesirable and unable to be loved.

So what does she do?

She considers a toilet. Because this is SE and Marie HAS to be made into a joke, because, haha, look, a woman over 25 who dares to exist and want romance and love! How amusing! She’s SINGLE. SO FUNNY.

Except, not really. Putting aside the fact that this joke is steeped in sexism, the fact that no one seems to want to look beyond it is equally as bad, if not worse.

Marie Mjolnir considered marrying a toilet because every single man in her life has let her down so much that a toilet would be a step up or comparable to a partner who won’t hurt her or let her down or tell her she’s overbearing. Marie Mjolnir has gotten to the point where she thinks that her dreams of being married to a man who won’t disappoint her are so slim that she would rather go for an inanimate object. She has been convinced that she is so old and so undesirable that if she doesn’t get married NOW or very very VERY soon, she NEVER WILL.

THOSE are her reasons. THAT’S why the “joke” isn’t funny. THAT’S why I have so many issues with the scene of her wanting to marry a toilet being her ONLY defining moment.

Because Marie is more than your “old maid” or “desperate single woman” punchline, okay? Those are sexist tropes and sexist jokes and they infuriate me.

Marie Mjolnir is brilliant and funny and beautiful and powerful and nuanced and complex and she damn well deserves better than this bullshit.

the signs as quotes from ShutUpAdachi’s Sans fight

Aries: “OH FUCKING SWEET CINNAMON APPLE”
Taurus: “Hi honey. How are the kids? HOW ARE THE FUCKING CHILDREN?”
Gemini: “It’s time for tem.”
Cancer: “I FUCKED UP I GOD DAMN FUCKED UP I FUCKED IT”
Leo: “Merry christmas, merry fuCKING CHRISTMAS”
Virgo: “MY ASS IS ON FIRE”
Libra: “More like ‘i’m gonna die-ertale.’”
Scorpio: “It’s not the bone hole. We’re not calling it the god damn bone hole.”
Sagittarius: “You fucking snake in the grass, PISS OFF”
Capricorn: “An anime titty. I have one anime titty. Do you want it, Sans? Do you want my anime titty?”
Aquarius: “We’ll all be happy. Wear an apron, do some kawaii cooking…we’ll have a kawaii cooking show desu, it’ll be sugoi. Where the fuck is the apron.”
Pisces: “WHO NEEDS MERCY WHEN YOU HAVE SALAD”

(here’s the video)

witchofthecosmos-deactivated201  asked:

☯, ☼, ☆ (For the precious baes, Nic and Doug!)

Nic!!:

☯ - Likes/dislikes headcanon

  • Nic likes cats and kids. Yes, I get it. “We’ve heard this a million times!” Ok, yes, but wait. He likes them because they love him regardless of what he is. He’s always scared to touch them, worried he might hold too tightly, but he can rock a baby to sleep in no time. More than once, he’s fed a kitten milk, slowly nursing it, using a handkerchief to wipe away the excess. He is kind and gentle, and when someone recognizes that, returning it in kind, his mind goes blank from the usual cares and concerns he has. Everything is warm and nice. He loves seeing babies hold his fingers (they have such tiny hands. Always a wonder to him, compared to his thick, almost clumsy fingers.)
  • He likes dreamless sleep. Nightmares happen far too often for his taste.
  • Nicolas dislikes when people hold power over others. Most of the time, those in positions of authority, pushing it onto others, are weak. He knows he could cut them down, and it makes him feel useless and angry that he can’t.

☼ - Appearance headcanon

  • Worick used to make fun of him for his ears. Not really make fun of him, but poke every once in a while. When he was younger, it was like they were a little bit too big. He didn’t grow into them until he was about 17. He never really cared, though.
  • The suits were Worick’s idea. He doesn’t mind them, and he thinks he’d look good in them if all of his weren’t cheap. Nic has trouble dropping money on clothing, and you can tell the quality of his suit jacket isn’t great. He much prefers his plain black shirts and army pants. The boots are his favorite. Not the clunky military ones, but the sleek black ones that come up to his knees. They’re easy to move in. They are the one item he has that he spoiled himself on.
  • His hair is thick, which is why it’s cut the way it is. The bangs are long enough that they don’t stick straight up. The rest is buzzed and Nina takes a razor to it to thin it out. If he doesn’t style it, it’s a poofy mess. Women seem to like it, but he feels unprofessional. Besides, too many people tell him he looks like a kid if he doesn’t take the time to comb it out.

☆ - Happy headcanon

  • Nic loves eating freshly baked treats. He’s not sure if he never developed a sweet tooth or if he doesn’t want to get used to it, but he doesn’t regularly indulge himself in sugary foods. When Nina bakes, though, watch out. He’ll be right there in the kitchen with her, stepping on the back of her shoes, throwing flour, making a mess. When Nina isn’t able to knead the dough well enough, he helps, pressing down with a finger until she swats at him and tells him to get his fingers out. At that point, he’ll seriously help every now and then, letting her learn and do most of the work. Worick and Theo always come back to Nina, pristine and happy in her little apron, and then there’s Nic. His black hair is covered in flour. Nina has smeared chocolate on his face in revenge for him tickling her. Theo just slowly starts to fume.
  • Nic picks up flowers for Alex occasionally. Sunflowers. Bright and sunny, like her. Wait no, periwinkles, soft and sweet. Wait no, a rose, sophisticated. In the end, he brings home dandelions and accidentally ends up blowing the seeds everywhere. Worick just casually asks after the awkward silence, “You know those are weeds, right?”


Doug:

Tons of Doug has been answered here, and in addition, I’ll answer the others!

☼ - Appearance headcanon

  • Doug puts a lot of time and effort into his appearance. It takes a lot to looks this good.  (◕‿-) (I feel like Doug winks a lot and is never taken seriously.)
  • He takes very good care of his dreads. His hair grows slowly, so if he ever were to mess them up, it would take a long time to grow them back out.
  • He prefers standard clothes that are easy to move around it. The leggings underneath his fatigues keep his pants from making his underwear ride up.
  • Jackets are really his “accessory.” He likes wearing big hoodies or sweatshirts when he’s out. They make him feel safe. He also feels like people pay him less attention, brushing him off as ‘another street kid.’ It keeps away prying eyes, and it frequently works to his advantage, giving him the element of surprise.

☆ - Happy headcanon

  • Doug loves playing with kids. He’s been there – no parents, no friends – so he loves to play soccer with them.
  • Doug likes being in the kitchen of Bastard. Sometimes he gets chased out, but in the end, the head chef always gives him warm food and dessert that a patron turned their nose up at. He frequently runs out back to see if there is anyone sitting by the door that needs food, and he’ll share.
  • Doug tried yoga once.
  • Once.
  • He likes napping with Gawain. Gawain passes out on the floor sometimes while Doug is talking. He’ll poke him, but to no avail, so he’ll lean his back against Gawain’s side and pull his hood up, leaning on his side a little to relieve some of the pressure on his stomach. Gal always manages to find them and will sit by the door if he’s free and make sure they aren’t bothered while they get some needed (in Doug’s case) or not so needed (in Gawain’s case) sleep. Especially if they’re laying in the sun. Galahad frequently teases Doug that he’s just like a cat, lounging in the warmth. When Doug and Gawain manage to nap by a window and the sunlight beams in, Doug has little trouble going to sleep, and he and Gawain typically end up napping for too long. Gal just patiently reads. Sometimes, sometimes, Arthur and Lancelot are sleepy and quiet enough to lay down, too, so they pile up against Gawain, as well, and pass out. Lancelot will act like he’s asleep sometimes, though, just until Arthur has dozed off, and he’ll watch to make sure Doug is ok, jostling the smaller young man until he gets in a more comfortable position when he seems to be hurting. Gal is able to relax a little more then, with Doug under Lancelot’s watchful gaze. In the end, they all wake up in a pile. Those nights, when they’ve all slept too long, they stay up too late in Hausen, Arthur and Lancelot’s room. Gawain always promises he’ll come, but he never stays awake long enough.
Independence - An Olitz Fanfic

Okay everyone, here is my little 4th of July Olitz fic. It was just a quick little something that came to mind. Hope you enjoy it. Happy 4th of July to everyone!!!

Independence

“Happy Independence Day, Ms. Pope” Olivia smiled at the greeting from the White House chef clad in semi-barbeque attire, his chef’s whites in addition to a festive red apron.

“Happy Independence Day to you, Jeremy” she returned, placing a turkey burger on her plate along with a healthy serving of potato salad. The south lawn was adorned with tables and all manner of activities for the annual 4th of July barbeque. Olivia surveyed the crowd, looking for Cyrus and James, but secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of Fitz.

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