happy almost fourth

“I want Joel to fucking crush all of the presidential candidates of America with my fucking fridge god damn” 

just when you thought the 2016 election couldnt get wilder, an enraged swede destroys all remaining candidates with his bare fists and a kitchen appliance. despite not fitting any of the constitution’s qualifications for president, the people of the united states embrace and establish him as the first swedish president of the united states

his first actions as president are re-naming the presidential airplane “AIR FUCK ONE” and creating the death metal remix of the national anthem

4

1) What about the scar tissue blockage last year? 
2) Burned fingers? I feel like he’s talked about this before but I can’t remember when, or how it happened…

Final Nights