happiness is real only when it's shared

12:01am. march 16, 2017. 

it is officially 2 years since I first heard twenty one pilots, since I first saw fairly local on my dash and made one of the best decisions of my life: to hit play. 

I’ve been struggling, I won’t lie about that. I wish I could say I’m getting better instead of worse. I wish I was happy, I wish I took care of my body more often, I wish I appreciated more of the little things, I wish I didn’t still spend most nights awake and emptily staring at the walls at 4am.

but I guess the important thing is, I’m still here. And I have the boys to thank for that, I have tyler and josh, even if they don’t know who I am. I owe them my life. I owe them for surviving countless nights spent in torment, now wondering “what if?”. what if I didn’t have their music? what if I didn’t have the wonderful people I met through this band to talk to? what if I didn’t have them to channel my thoughts into? what if..? would I still be here? that’s the question. am I happy about that? about still being here, fighting? maybe I will be one day. but for now I can take one day at a time and enjoy the few beautiful things this world has to offer, in between the heavy darkness. and I have tyler to thank for this, I have josh, michael, mark, brad, chris, nick, jenna, and so many others to thank. and I will never take that for granted. I will forever remember the times I’ve seen them live, when I realized they are real. I’m not alone. they exist. I’m sobbing thinking about it now, I miss being close to their radiating positivity, warm as the sun. so, once again, I put as much emotion into these two words as I can muster: thank you. 

and you know what frens? stay alive. whatever your past, “know this: you can start over, each morning.” and that’s a beautiful thing.

p.s. happy birthday fairly local, the song that started not only the blurryface era but also this stage of my life. it’s great sharing this date with you.


Words for the Signs
  • aries : Never give up without a fight.
  • taurus : It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
  • gemini : Draw a monster. Why is it a monster ?
  • cancer : The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
  • leo : Happiness is only real when shared.
  • virgo : Health is not just about what you're eating. It's also about what you're thinking and saying.
  • libra : There are billions of stars in the sky yet your smile shines the brightest.
  • scorpio : Heal the past, live the present, dream the future.
  • sagittarius : I think about the end just way too much but it's fun to fantasize.
  • capricorn : Be the best version of you.
  • aquarius : Everything happens for a reason.
  • pisces : All you need is to believe in yourself.

A very fail Annie’s costest xD I can’t work with wigs lol My real hair is short so its hard to hide it wearing a ponytail. You can see my pink shirt and I only have the Survey corps jacket. Plus, the pic is flipped xd

It’s funny how I’m showing my nose here. I hate it. Toucan, mosquito, Pinnochio, any kind of jokes for having a big nose, I’ve hear them. When I saw Annie the first time I thought she is a beautiful girl with a big nose. I never saw an anime girl with a nose. (I mean.. they always have cute small noses). 😢 So I was happy. And we share height too. (And I have a horse face as Jean too yikes)

Synchronicity (3/3); jongtae; pacific rim au; nc-17

warnings: death

“If we go, we go together, alright?"  Taemin mumbles against his lips.  Jonghyun can tell it’s a promise the younger boy’s made to himself already.  His mouth opens automatically to return it, but he can’t speak, not when Taemin is opening his shirt and palming him through his pants.  This is something they need to talk about, something that’s dangerous — as loyal as they should be to each other, that shouldn’t be their priority, not when they have a duty to fulfill.

[part 1] [part 2]

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anonymous asked:

Smiling for other people huh ? That's kinda me. I was under depression because of people I really did not like. I smiled mostly for my family, I hated the idea of anyone I liked being sad because of me. I'm rather happy I went to another house for my dad's job. But, who need people ? For friends ? I have a lot of fun by myself, and I have my family. Shouldn't I just stay alone ?

The first and most important thing is to learn to smile FOR YOUR SELF. Trust me. You have to find reasons outside of just other people that will make you feel good - even if it were just retarded small things, like having a cup of coffee, or rising a bit earlier to have a moment of peace and watch the sun color the skies. But… this kind of joy is meant for you to nurture your strength ad fill your energy reservoir. So you can face other people and life, when it gets difficult. We were born here on a planet with billions of other people..and I am sure it was for a reason that life is pushing us to stay connected in a way. Even if it’s just like this - by the internet, by a silly website…or a fandom. People need other people - they need to feel connected to them, or to some of them, because being “human” would lose its meaning if we all just cut ties and pretend we don’t need anyone else in life, beside us. There was a book called INTO THE WILD. I’ve seen only the movie adaptation , but..basically…. it was about a young man who tried to find happy life without all the modern necesities of society, going to live in woods all on his own. I won’t spoil you the outcome, in case you want to read it…but I took a very valuable lesson from it - “HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED”. IT is true. Even my happiness wouldn’t be much if I wouldn’t share it with you…or others. MY life wouldn’t have much meaning I guess .. if I were to live it only for my self in a comfort-zone. It might make me peaceful, less stressed and less depressed but….at the end of day…. no matter how many people pissed me off, hurt me, stabbed me in the back….I am still happy that “old lady in the counter smiled at me”…..or….”that young lad was so kind and picked up my card when I didn’t notice falling out of the pocket”. I’m a very introverted person…I have lots of anxieties, especially from meeting real life people. But I’m still human, so are you (and in this life we won’t be able to be anything else…no birds, no wolves, trees….). We can be human only if we don’t run away from others. I wish you the best of luck and peaceful mind, so you can find balance in life. I truly recommend you the book/movie! It might talk something new into you ♥

anonymous asked:

Look, I'm sorry, you are an amazing person, but i dont think its ok to ship two REAL people together

when I say “I ship them”, it’s more about empathising with the happiness/chemistry they share/have together. Yes, I speculate and theorise the relationship they have (platonic/romantic/sexual or otherwise) but that’s simply a way to vent my curiosity - I would never force/question the two people, i.e Dan and Phil (as that’s the only irl ship I talk about most), in real life. I respect their privacy and am happy to admire/relate to whatever it is they have together from a distance.
please don’t assume I want them or I believe they should be romantically/sexually involved together. all my ideas are a could be. a “maybe”. not a “must”. 

respect and their feelings first before my ideas/fantasies. always.