hans the hedgehog

IF any of you still pay attention to the moriarty rp twitter (@contact_jm), i think i FINALLY figured out his latest code: Hans the Hedgehog! A story by the Grimm brothers about a giant half human/half hedgehog…..maybe some of you literary folks can read more about it, there was a lot of info and analysis that I found but I can’t quite compile it into something that makes sense.

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★*゚‘゚・ Jim Henson’s The Storyteller Sentence Meme (part one) ・*゚‘゚ ★

“When people told themselves their past with stories, explained their present with stories, foretold the future with stories…the best place by the fire was kept for…The Storyteller.”

Change pronouns/phrasing/tense/etc as needed!

Hans My Hedgehog

  • “Ah, a story. Imagine…a cold night and a dark night, a night like this one.”
  • “Now, to say you wouldn’t care when you want something is a dangerous thing.”
  • “We’re a laughing stock.”
  • “What would your mother say? Her who dotes on you.”
  • “I’ve thought until I thought a hole in the grass.”
  • “And his mother felt a crack in her heart like a tiny pencil line and each day after the pencil line got thicker and thicker and one day not long after, her heart split in half.”
  • “It was a bitter sound and a sweet sound all at once, which began like hello and ended like goodbye.”
  • “I’m very lost and I’m very hungry.”
  • “I want you to love me.”
  • “Good, good, good, good! A wedding! I might even be asked to tell a story or two!”
  • “It’s days like these that artists come into their own.”
  • “Which would you have for a husband? The man or the creature?”
  • “Loyal love will break the spell.”
  • “We all know about promises and secrets. What use are they when no one knows about them?”
  • “He is enchanted, you see.”
  • “To the health of that most beautiful woman who could not keep her promise for one more day!”
  • “For a gift, she gave me a shoe worn to nothing. And…here it is!”

Sapsorrow

  • “Beginning as I do at the beginning and starting as I must at the start…let me show you fate through the round of this ring.”
  • “He can’t do that!”
  • “He’s too old to be getting married, he ought to be dying shortly.”
  • “What? What is she wittering on about?”
  • “What was all the hue and cry?”
  • “T’is the law of the land.”
  • “You must marry her.”
  • “Do as she bids.”
  • “She never appears. Only her creatures, flying in, slithering out, busy, busy, scurrying about.
  • “A strange thing of fur and feathers.”
  • “And one day, this princess meets a prince.”
  • “What’s that look?”
  • “It’s a look. If there was a tax on looking, we’d all be beggars.”
  • “They call me the Straggletag.”
  • “I’m sorry. Do I disgust you?”
  • “Look, cats chase mice. Hens lay eggs.”
  • “I live where hens chase mice and cats lay eggs!”
  • “You see, when I think about him it makes my head hurt and my tummy ache and my skin tingle and my heart do little somersaults.” 

The True Bride

  • “Trust me. Sleep.”
  • "What a sight! What a wonder!”
  • “Was that a smile?”
  • “I don’t like smiles.”
  • “Shh, lie down.”
  • “You’re tired, my little one. Why not rest a while?”
  • “How have you done this?!”
  • “Poor ______. No mother, nor father. He was my other.”
  • “And gradually smiles turn to words and words turn to whispers and whispers turn to kisses. It’s love.”
  • “You are my true bride.”
  • “Let no one else ever kiss your cheek.”
  • “Now, you must go.”
  • “She collects handsome men like ornaments! ‘My orna-men’, she calls them.”
  • “The bargain is struck.”
  • “Then you must keep what is yours and me what is mine!”
  • “Yes, they’ve heard the clink of gold.”
  • “Don’t cry.”
  • “No, not there. I promised, you see. Never my cheek.”
NEVER TRUST A HEDGEHOG

ONE DAY, A STUPID MERCHANT WISHES FOR A SON, STATING THAT HE’S SO FUCKING DESPERATE THAT HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT HIS HYPOTHETICAL SON LOOKS LIKE.

WHEN HE COMES HOME, HE FINDS THAT HIS WIFE HAS SUDDENLY GIVEN BIRTH TO A SHINY NEW SON. WHO IS A MOTHERFUCKING HALF-MAN-HALF-HEDGEHOG MUTANT MONSTER. ALSO SHE’S DEAD, BECAUSE GIVING BIRTH TO A HEDGEHOG IS PRETTY FUCKING DISTURBING AND NOT SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE USUALLY DO. EVERYTHING IS SHIT.

WHEN HE GROWS UP, HANS THE HEDGEHOG MUTANT IS HATED BY HIS FATHER FOR BEING A FUCKING WEIRD MONSTER, SO HE FUCKS OFF INTO THE WOODS ON HIS OWN TO BE SAD AND HEDGEHOGGY AND PLAY THE BAGPIPES WHERE NOBODY CAN HEAR THEM.

HANS STARTS A BUSINESS LEADING LOST KINGS HOME IN EXCHANGE FOR THE PROMISE OF THEIR DAUGHTERS, BUT NOBODY EVER PAYS HIM BACK. PROBABLY BECAUSE HE’S A MOTHERFUCKING HEDGEHOG. 

EVENTUALLY HANS DECIDES THAT HE’S HAD ENOUGH OF BEING FUCKED OVER BY KINGS, SO SETS OUT TO CLAIM HIS WIVES. HE VISITS THE FIRST KING, WHO TELLS HIM TO FUCK RIGHT OFF. THEN HE KIDNAPS THE PRINCESS, TAKES HER HOME, STABS HER ALL OVER WITH HIS HEDGEHOGGY SPIKES AND SENDS HER HOME BLEEDING AND HORRIFYINGLY MANGLED. HANS THE HEDGEHOG MUTANT IS A FUCKING DICK.

THEN HE GOES TO THE SECOND KING, WHO AGREES TO LET HIM TAKE HIS DAUGHTER, AND THEN HE FUCKS OFF HOME WITH HIS NEW WIFE. THAT NIGHT, HE PEELS OFF HIS HEDGEHOG SKIN AND REVEALS HIMSELF TO BE A HANDSOME MAN WITH NO FUCKING SKIN. IN ORDER TO STAY SO ATTRACTIVE, THOUGH, HE SAYS HIS HEDGEHOG SKIN HAS TO BE BURNED. THE PRINCESS THROWS THE HEDGEHOG SKIN ON THE FIRE AND HANS SUDDENLY CATCHES FIRE. IT’S FUCKING HORRIFIC, BUT THE PRINCESS PUTS OUT THE FIRE, NURSES HER HORRIBLY BURNED SEXY HEDGEHOG HUSBAND BACK TO HEALTH, AND SPENDS THE REST OF HER LIFE IN THE WOODS PLAYING THE BAGPIPES WITH HIM. AND THIS TIME HE DOESN’T STAB HER HALF TO DEATH AND FUCK OFF. HE’S STILL A DICK THOUGH.

At the very beginning of the episode La Sylphide, Ms. Edel gets the jewel of love from a woman who looks like a bear lady. We only briefly see her hand/paw, but it has fur, and she is wearing a large overcoat that obscures much of her. This bear lady could be a representation of Allerleirauh, or a gender reversal of the tale Bearskin or Hans My Hedgehog. All of them are fairytales in which a person wears a skin that turns them (appearance only or their whole being) into a ‘monster’ seemingly unfit for love.

This is very interesting, not only because it gets even more involved with fairytales, but because of who ends up with this gem: Rue. Rue has been told her entire life that she was unfit for love, that no one could ever love someone as hideous and ugly as her, except for the Prince. In order to ensure this love, Rue puts on the ‘coat’ of Kraehe (or vise versa near the beginning of everything, because lil’ Rue just can’t bear to be called Kraehe by her Prince). Kraehe is eventually something/one Rue becomes that she knows is horrible and ugly, but both has to put up with because she sees no alternatives, and even embraces it to secure her Prince.

Another interesting part of these stories is that the ‘creature’/enchanted person must marry someone who only sees their horrible side, who has to endure all their ‘ugliness’, usually with great fear, and do so willingly. Only after this has occurred does the spell break and a beautiful/handsome person emerges from under the coat. Mytho does this for Rue; he endures all of her aggressive love when she is Kraehe, and albeit it’s questionable whether he does it willingly, I think it is. Certainly by the end, we see him accept Rue for everything she is and has been, including Kraehe. Then, at the end, Rue is revealed for her truly beautiful self as she kisses Siegfried/Mytho, donning a gown of white.

(Of course, I think a similar case could probably also be made for Mytho, but I’ve not got time to delve into that unfortunately~)

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Compt Prompt #4: What is your favorite fairytale (and yes it can be in the form of a disney movie/cartoon/anime, but its origins must be from fairytales and/or myths).  You can use a video, gifs, photos, or memes to answer this.  Hashtags are required for context.  Above is my answer to this prompt.