hannah ruth


family photos taken before i was born (late ‘80s to late ‘90s) pt. 3

starring: my father (dumisani); my mother (valerie); my oldest sister (sara); my older brother (joshua); my older sister (leah); my older sister (hannah); my nana (ruth); my gramps (clarence); my grammy (suzette); my former aunt marissa; my uncle reggie; a christmas tree

Home for the Holidays

(I know it’s August but I couldn’t shake this idea.)

Bitty knew this would happen eventually. He and Holster had been dating for months now, and they’d been friends for almost two years before that.

Bitty knew that at some point he would meet Adams family, hell, Holster met his mama his freshman year and met Coach this past parents weekend.

But he met them as Bitty’s friend and teammate, not his /boyfriend/.

And it was just his parents, not his ENTIRE! FAMILY!

You see, mama and coach decided to spend the holidays in Paris as an anniversary gift to one another, which meant Bitty was stuck in Samwell for the Holidays, that was until his sweet as can be boyfriend invited him to spend the break with him in Buffalo.

“It will be your first Chanukah!” Adam had smiled so brightly that Bitty couldn’t help but agree.

It was only now, as they pulled into the driveway of Holsters childhood home, that it hit Bitty what this visit meant.

He’d seen Meet The Fockers enough times to know how badly this could go.

And he really wanted this to go well. He loves Adam, he wants his family to love him.

The Burkholtz residence was quite the picture, with an 8ft tall menorah in the front yard and lights shaped like Dreidels hanging from the roof.

Adam rubbed the back of his neck and sheepishly laughed, “yeah my dad was sick of being the only house not lit up during the holidays so he went on a Home Depot trip and supped up the house. He’s very proud of it.”

Bitty giggled, “I love it! It’s beautiful!”

“Please tell him that, he may love you forever.”

Bitty laughed around the nervous lump in his throat and followed Adam up to the door. Holster took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but before his fist could collide with the wood, it opened, and a woman a little shorter and rounder than Bitty with bright Auburn hair nearly tears the door off its hinges.

“My schmoopie!!!!! Oh look it’s my big man!!” The woman shouts and engulfs Adam in a hug.

“Hi mom” he grins and hugs her back.

She pulls away and looks at Bitty, “Oh and you must be Eric!!”

Bitty reaches out a hand for her to shake, but it is completely ignored and he is pulled into an equally fierce hug.

“It’s so wonderful to have you! My Adam has told me all about you!”

Bitty grins as he is pulled away from the hug, “oh has he now? Good things I hope! Nice to meet you Mrs Birkholtz!”

“Mrs Birkholtz is my mother in law, please call me Debbie.”

“Well thanks for having me Debbie.” Eric smiles politely.

“Are you kidding me! My son tells me the love of his life is put out on the holidays you think I’m not going to feed him? When you are in this house, you’re family!” She exclaims, “speaking of which get on inside! You must be freezing your little tushes off!”

Bitty then meets Adam’s dad Daniel, who looks like how Bitty imagines Holster will in 30 years, his little sisters Sarah and Hannah, and his Bubby Ruth, who reminds Bitty a lot of his Moomah.

They proceed to grill him, asking intrusive questions with the nicest smiles on their faces. Debbie tells Bitty funny baby Adam stories and Bubby Ruth breaks out baby pictures from her pocketbook.

All in all its nice and easy with the Birkholtzes. Bitty is pretty sure Debbie is mentally planning his wedding.

It’s a lot of firsts that night, the first night of Chanukah, Bitty’s first bowl of matzoh ball soup and first plate of latkes. He plays his first game of dreidel with Sarah and Hannah and he watches his first Menorah lighting.

As Bubby Ruth sings the prayer and Debbie lights the first candle, Adam leans over to whisper into Bitty’s ear, “it’s about miracles. People think Chanukah is just Jewish Christmas but it’s a festival. It celebrates a time when people tried to snuff out the light but it just wouldn’t go out.”

Bitty’s eyes widen and he listens to Bubby Ruth sing the prayer. He doesn’t understand the Hebrew, but he thinks it’s wonderful.

“That’s beautiful.” Bitty whispers back. Adam smiles and rests his chin on Eric’s shoulder, watching the flickering lights of the candle.

Later, when they’re watching the Rugrats Chanukah special, Hannah pops up off the couch and pronounces that “ITS PRESENT TIME!!!”

Daniel laughs and the entirety of the Birkholtzes scramble to their respective present hiding spots to retrieve their gifts.

Daniel gets Debbie a pair of earrings, Debbie gets Daniel a tie.

Bubby Ruth gives all of her grandchildren a crisp $5 each and a wet kiss on the cheek.

Holster gives his sisters each a new video game and they give him a 30 Rock tshirt.

Holster turns to Bitty and hands him a wrapped box.

He seems nervous, and that takes Bitty by surprise. If his boyfriend is one thing, it wasn’t shy.

Bitty looks up at him and then over his shoulder where Bubby Ruth had just sent him a wink.

He opens the box and finds a heavy binder with the title ‘Birkoltz Family Recipes’

Flipping through the pages Bitty finds they are filled with laminated copies of handwritten recipes dating back generations.

He is speechless, so Adam speaks for him.

“I got some help from my Bubby, I know you are always looking for some new recipes and things to try, and she helped me dig through some recipe boxes to find the best ones. There is a secret Birkholtz mandel bread recipe that I had to beg a few aunts to give up, but it was worth it.”

Bitty is near tears as he thumbs through the pages.

“Adam.” Bitty says trying to compose himself because he is determined not to cry in front of his boyfriends family. “Sweetheart this is the best gift I have ever received.” He sets the book down gently and kisses Holster on the cheek before engulfing him in a hug.

“Aww, Danny look at them they are so sweet! His little punim, my heart!” Debbie says behind them.

Once they part Bitty digs his present out and hands it to Holster with a look that says 'you’ll get more later’

Holster takes the small velvet box and his heart starts pounding.

Opening it, Adam shrieks.

“Two tickets to Wicked?????” Bitty laughs as Holster jumps up from the couch, “Orchestra seats???” He shouts. Adam picks up Eric and spins him around.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever!” He laughs setting Bitty down.

“Hey!” Eric teases, “that’s my line!”

I have picked myself up countless times. I have cried, wiped my tears and carried on. I have hurt so badly. I fall apart all the time but I put myself back together. When I enter a difficult situation I break and I cry and I get mad and then I stand up tall and I deal with it. I am strong. Sometimes I need help but that does not take away my strength. I remind myself a thousand times a day that I will be okay and I always manage to welcome the new day when the sun rises. Regardless of how much pain, heartbreak, suffering or sheer hurt I go through I keep going. I will hurt and I will cry and I will wish I wasn’t alive but I will be okay. I am strong and I won’t let anyone tell me differently.
—  From my journal | Hannah D. | ihavehadnocourage/hannah-ruth-x 
Falsettos headcanons for the teeny tiny band

I know a lot of us are feeling really bad tonight, so here are some headcanons (Modern AU and canon era) to hopefully cheer you up a bit:

(Modern AU) Jason, Charlotte, and Cordelia watch Game of Thrones every Sunday.  They always talk about it afterwards.  Jason and Charlotte have read the books and unleash their nerd-rage on poor Cordelia, who just wants to protect Sansa Stark from all the men around her.

Mendel sings Fiddler on the Roof around the house.  He loves to sing “Miracle of Miracles” for Trina.  She always cries.

Trina and Mendel’s daughter is named Ruth Hannah Weisenbachfeld.  When she’s feeling like no one understands her, least of all her parents, Jason reminds her that “everyone hates their parents.”  He even does the “agitato grande” thing that Mendel did for him.

Whizzer insists that everyone beat each other with scallions during “Dayenu” (a Sephardic/Mizrahi tradition) at seders.  He and Jason compete to see who can hit Marvin the most during the song.

Trina and Whizzer love to bitch about Marvin.  Sometimes Mendel and Jason join them.

(Modern AU) Jason, Charlotte, and Cordelia go to the New York Comic Con cosplaying as Game of Thrones characters (Charlotte as Margaery, Cordelia as Sansa, and Jason as Jon Snow).

Jason calls Trina and Mendel begging them to pick him up early one Saturday night when he can hear Marvin and Whizzer having sex in the next room.  Mendel says no, but Trina is furious and dresses both Whizzer and Marvin down for doing it with Jason in the next room.

Marvin loves to dance in the dorkiest way possible to old showtunes by Jews (Irving Berlin is his favorite).


Hillywood, Ruthie, Matt & Rich and Adrianne photos:
Hillywood: so cute, they recognised me as me and my friend had gone to chat with them a few times at the con and hugged me for the photo.
Ruthie: My second op of the con. I asked “can we pose back to back like we hate each other…but actually I love you.” So this happened. After the op she asked to see my eyes, then asked if they were my eyes (I was confused af haha), when I said yes she said I have amazing eyes which was so cute.
Matt&Rich: this was quite rushed as I’d had to leave the Jared & Adrianne queue to get this photo. I was essentially shoved into this photo with no clue what to do so I just stood between them. It turned out nice though. :)
Adrianne: my last photo of the day. She is so tall and was wearing heels and so she completely towered over me, but I couldn’t not hug her because I love Sam & Jess so much gaah. She was so sweet ❤

To my younger self,

Hi beautiful. I hope you’re doing okay. I could sit here and warn you about all the mistakes you’re going to make and tell you how to avoid them but I don’t think that’ll do either of us any favours.

You are going to make mistakes, you’ll make a big one and end up in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. You’re always going to learn so much from all of your mistakes.

So, I’m not going to tell you how to avoid your mistakes, I’m going to tell you that things will be okay. There are going to be times where you’re not sure which way is up and where you go in order to make progress but I promise you my sweetheart, you will be okay.

Don’t worry about the looks people give you - yes you’re overweight but you have a lovely body and I desperately want you to cherish it - don’t worry about your grades so much, you’re doing the best you can and your mental health isn’t worth you stressing so much over grades.

But these are all minor things, and this is what’s important; you have the ability to save yourself, you have never-ending strength inside of you. You have the type of kindness that people take for granted but you need to keep hold of that. You are going to cry, you’re going to suffer, but you’ll be okay.

I have faith in you - you made me who I am today and although I’m not doing great all of the time I’m also not doing terrible all the time. I’m in love, I’m going to get married and I’m studying for a law degree. Make the mistakes, learn from them and cherish the good moments, cherish yourself.


Hannah xx
—  Hannah D. (ihavehadnocourage//peaceful-footsteps//hannah-ruth-x)

Hebrews 4:16

If we really sit and reflect upon how powerful God is, it can actually become overwhelming. We are talking about someone who not only died for our salvation, but who loves us even in our sin. Each day we are saturated in His never ending grace and mercy in addition to Him preparing a place for us when we meet Him in Heaven. How am I not, at times, fully persuaded of God’s abilities? How can I even bring myself to worry that God won’t or can’t do something?

Recently, I purchased a set of pens and on the side they read, “Daughter of The King”. They were a bit of an impulse buy, however, it wasn’t until recently that I really reflected on what they meant. We are the daughters of not only a king, but of The King. God is all-powerful. In a split-second, He can simply breathe on a situation and turn it around in our favor.

Hebrews 4:16 tells us to “draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

The Bible has so many beautiful examples of women who had the type of bold and brave confidence that God wants from us. When you find yourself in a place of doubt, read the stories of Deborah, Sarah, Hannah, and Ruth. Pray to God for a renewed confidence. He will meet you at your lowest and give you what you need so that you can be blessed beyond anything that you ever asked for. Always remember, God loves us and has plans for our lives that are beyond anything that we could ever imagine. Don’t put God in a box, but truly trust that where He guides, He will provide.

Written by:
Ebony M. Sistrunk