hannah reviews

Today I am wearing lacy black underwear
For the sole purpose of knowing I am wearing them.
And underneath that?
I am absolutely naked.
And I’ve got skin. Miles and miles of skin;
I’ve got skin to cover all my thoughts
like Saran Wrap that you can see through
to what leftovers are inside from the night before.
And despite what you might think, my skin is not rough; nor is it bullet-proof.
My skin is soft, and smooth, and easily scarred.
But that doesn’t matter, right?
You don’t care about how soft my skin is.
You just want to hear about what my fingers do in the dark.
But what if all they do is crack open windows?
So I can see lightning through the clouds.
What if all they crave is a jungle gym to climb for a taste of fresher air?
What if all they reach for is a notebook or a hand to hold?
But that’s not the story you want….
—  Sarah Kay
Detroit dir. Kathryn Bigelow (2017)

I finally saw Detroit, the day of the Charlottesville Nazi march no less.  

I have very mixed feelings on the movie and they’re only mixed because director Kathryn Bigelow is a really good filmmaker. People who were most wary of the film because it had a white writer were right to be so, because the script is absolutely the weakest link and writer Mark Boal, who also wrote the scripts for Bigelow’s films The Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty, has penned a script that gets so much wrong, trampling all over moments of subtlety with clumsy dialogue and making minimal effort to deliver context. 

The film has a very clear three-part structure: the first is dedicated to the overarching outrage and frustration that led to the 1967 riots, the second shows the murders of three black men by the police at the Algiers motel that took place mid-riots, and the third focuses on the lack of justice provided by a biased and ineffectual legal system. But at every turn the writing, and sometimes the direction, undercuts its own message. Aside from some completely lazy title text accompanied by some very ugly animation, the first section does an absolutely terrible job of showing why black people in Detroit started rioting and even mostly privileges the perspective of the police. The final section is so bad you have a character screaming out “the system is rigged” in a courtroom as if the movie doesn’t trust the audience to put the pieces together.

And that’s a real pity because these two weak sections bracket the strongest most effective part of the movie where Bigelow delves in to what exactly went down at the Algiers and where Boal for the most part (but unfortunately not completely) curbed his need of having characters broadcast the film’s intentions. This is the part of the movie that’s earned the most criticism for the amount of violence, but it’s a violence that feels earned in a way that the violence of the first section of the movie doesn’t. This is Bigelow at her masterful best, juggling a large ensemble of characters so that their actions and motivations are clear. Despite the chaotic nature of the action, which involves about a dozen characters running in and out of various rooms, the geography of the place is never in doubt so that audiences are able to fully focus on the horror of the actions. It is by no means a perfect piece of cinema but it’s by far the best part of a fractured film because it shows (without telling!) that there is absolutely no winning what the police call the “game”, where they use brutality to get their suspects to confess, or indeed any way of winning when it comes to black men dealing with the police at large. One of the gifts of the large ensemble is watching as all the black men take different approaches to trying to survive the night and the absolute desolation of watching as every single one loses. Even the ones who live come away completely destroyed by what they’ve seen and what they needed to do to survive.

Will Poulter, playing a racist cop, has been met with the most praise and though he’s very good among my favourites were John Boyega as a security guard who decides the best approach is to act deferential. It’s not a great role, again the writing lets him down, but he has such a commanding presence that he’s a pleasure to watch on screen. Algee Smith as an ambitious young singer and Jacob Latimore as his friend and roadie are also standouts. I’ve heard no one praise Anthony Mackie but he has one of the best moments in the film. Sitting in his room with two young white girls they hear the police invading the motel he starts coaching them on what to do and how to act and without further explanation you can tell from the exhaustion and fear in his voice that he’s been in this situation before. It’s a quiet well articulated moment of the kind the film could have used more of. Also to briefly bring up the two white girls who are also brutalized by the police: Hannah Murray has the biggest part between the two of them and she is unfortunately awful. I’m honestly so disappointed because though the role was small it covered a lot of complexities I’ve never seen depicted before on screen: the way white women use black men and black culture as a way of being transgressive, the way white women are used as an excuse for white men to lash out against black men, the way that even if they are privileged in some ways they can be victims of sexual harassment and abuse, and the way in which despite these things they can retreat back into the privilege of their whiteness. A lot of complexities going on that are ruined by Murray’s atrocious performance. I wish Bigelow had chosen someone else.

Some more scattered thoughts: I love it when directors reuse actors so I enjoyed seeing Anthony Mackie and also Jennifer Ehle, so great in Zero Dark Thirty, in a cameo! The production values on this were amazing and the costume design by Francine Jamison-Tanchuck, especially for the women, was gorgeous. I can never unthink of John Krasinski as Jim from The Office, and he was distracting as a smarmy police union lawyer. Samira Wiley also pops up for literally less than a minute, the role didn’t require her having a lot to do but it seems like such a crime to have her do the work of a glorified extra.

I wish I could recommend it because I am a huge fan of Bigelow but I just can’t. The riots deserved a better movie and I believed Bigelow could do better so I’m disappointed that the resulting film was so uneven. Even though the time never dragged for me this only ever felt like a very solid first draft with hints of how much better it could have been. I’m not surprised it’s flopping at the box office because a) it’s not very good and b) who exactly is the audience for this? White racists won’t touch a movie that address systematic racism by police and white people sympathetic to the film’s message will have a difficult time sitting through a two and half hour uneven film filled with gruelling violence. By the time I walked out of Detroit to check the news a woman was dead and many more injured after a Neo-Nazi plowed his car into a crowd of peaceful protestors. It served as a painful real-world reminder that black audiences and other people of colour are already living everything Detroit has to say. 

Jessa, Adam, and Hannah in between (but over them)

I have loved (and at times hated) the characters of HBO’s ‘Girls’. They’ve made me cry, laugh, roll my eyes, and ask, “WHY?!”, more times than I can recall, but overall, it’s been a lot more relatable to me, than Sex And The City And Their Unaffordable Life (that’s what it should’ve been). There are two relationships that’ve been tearing at me for the longest time now, and that is the falling-out of the romantic one between Adam and Hannah, and the “friendship” between Hannah and Jessa.

Jessa for me, has always been this mix of that indie-jaded free-spirited, confident woman who at the end of the day is comfortable with the choices she’s made. She’s someone I wish I could be, and also someone I hope to never become, because while she may seem empowered, she’s also just as guilty as Hannah for being selfish in her own self-destructive way. Now, what strikes me as odd, is a lot of people beginning to think that she’s second choice to Hannah (when it comes to Adam). After tonight’s episode (SPOILER ALERT - DO NOT READ ON if you haven’t watched), it is confirmed that is indeed, what she is. However, what you may not realize or remember, is that that was how their relationship began in the first place: Hannah choosing herself over Adam.

You see, back when Adam was being an ass while getting involved in that play (where we first met Desi), he kept choosing to be around theatre people and hanging out with them and less so with Hannah. That’s fine, he was following his dreams, and getting a really awesome role out of it. Yet, when Hannah got the offer to go to Iowa for her writing, he was less than enthused, but in the end, supported her, or so it appeared. So when she returned to find that Adam not only did not wait for her, but also practically moved his new girlfriend Mimi-Rose (the first really put-together woman he dated really) in, yeah, it threw her for a loop. What really hurt was that we learned that it was Jessa that not only encouraged him to move on, but introduced him to the new girl. That’s not a dear friend, that should’ve been the end of that friendship right there, because Hannah wasn’t trying to go with other guys, she just wanted to prove herself as a writer. Only after Mimi-Rose and Adam split, and after Sample was born, did he have that “epiphany” that he was done being away from Hannah and wanted her back, literally reached his hand out towards her. What did she do? She said, “I can’t.”, then pulled her hand away.
Season five, suddenly he’s into Jessa, and Jessa knows it’s against friends to date their exes (you practically have all the info without learning it for yourself, you know? Like a ‘How To Date My Ex: The Right Way’ novel), but still, they eventually become a couple. But, I’ve wondered since that season, if Jessa ever knew that he went back to Hannah, and that if she hadn’t pulled away, they’d still be going through their usual ups and downs - Jessa wouldn’t be in the picture.

Hannah’s baby threw Adam off his game. It’s like when you go on Facebook and see the old friends you used to be close to, reaching these huge milestones (babies, marriages, promotions, visiting that one place you always said you wanted to go to, etc), but deep down you know it’s reached that point where you don’t feel close enough to truly congratulate them aside from a like or comment. When you see your former best friend and say, “we should get together sometime”, knowing you never will. Adam is as he said, looking back over his shoulder, where this intense and oddly loving relationship was with Hannah. I also think he’s fearful of Jessa falling out-of-love with him, because as we all saw in his film, he’s clearly a very emotionally insecure person.

As Adam and Hannah poorly attempt to rekindle the flame that they had, slowly she starts piecing together that not only is he doing this because the baby meant she was moving forward, but that he was coming up with these plans too fast and not giving himself a chance to breathe. When she sees the mom washing her baby alone on the baby-tub package, it’s dawned on her that the plans she’s made were for that of herself and above all, her kid. From that point on, we should all know that this ship is about to finally sink like the Titanic we knew it was. In a diner over a couple of bowls of soup, Hannah’s eyes begin to fill with tears, and because Adam knows Hannah too well, and could see that the reality finally set into her that this isn’t going to work, he also tearfully realizes that it’s over.

We don’t see them say anymore goodbyes, but we know that while Jessa did attempt to revert to her old ways of getting over something (a la Season 1 episode 2), it didn’t work, because she truly does love Adam, and Adam, rejected by Hannah once again, returns to her, and with a sad smile, she goes to buzz him in.

All forms of relationships begin, end, get back together or draw away. Whatever or whoever happens in that time between can change a person, or may be it doesn’t, and you realize you’re the one that changed. The point is that you can’t go back. The blanks won’t be filled, because they no longer need to be. People may be chapters of a book in your life, but I’d like to think of it as a series, not a stand alone. Sometimes you have to put the book down, and start a new one.

13 Reasons Why

I have just finished watching the last thirteenth episode, and decided to wright my review of this tv series. I read a book 2 years ago and I really liked it, at least as much as you like reading about our f*****d up society that make people want to end their lives. So, when I heared that there will be a tv series based on the book and producer of it is Selena Gomez, it was interesting for me to watch. So there came the premier and I watched maybe 3 episodes and today I watched the last one. I don’t know why, but I didn’t have very high hopes for this one, but this show was a hundred times better that I could imagine. “13 Reasons Why” is very emotional, sombre and really heartbraking. When I watched every episode, and espesially the last one, I wanted ro cry or I cried, actually right now I am sitting with tears on my eyes after watching 13 episode. 

It is actually hard to watch how ugly our society is. All those people on the tapes, not all but the majority of them didn’t feel themselves guilty, they just wanted save their own asses and live happily ever after, forgetting about the fact that they were the main reason why Hannah will never have a future. And I think that it’s very interesting that when Clay remembers Hannah, everything is so bright and sunny and when there shown present everything is grey and colourless, it’s like Hannah was that person to Clay that made him happy and when she’s gone everything around him is reflection of his devistation. She also had plans for future, she had her dreams that’ll never come true. Hannah Baker was a pretty positive and friendly person, we can see it in the beggining. But this school and those people broke her and unfortunatelly this is happenning not only in the book or tv series it is happenning in real life.School was a hell for me, teachers didn’t gave a f**k about us, no, they actually did but only about popular kids, and kids were really cruel, I was bullied too and I know that It might also happened to you too. We can all relate to one of the characters, whether you are Hannah, Clay, Jessica, Alex or someone else.

 I truly believe that every person have to see this tv series and think about how we treat other people and to what consequcses it may lead. We have to be less egoistic and care more about others. Also, I think that parents should watch it too, because it very presiecly pictures teenager’s life nowadays and parents have to know what is going on with their children. Moreover not only parents have to talk with their children, but we also have to be more open with them. And if you are a person that think that your story is similiar to Hannah’s in some way, please listen to me( I know that I am a complete stranger, so why would you listen to me, but), if you feel that your life is pointless just stop for a second and think, imagine your life after all this shit will be over, and you’ll have a long life ahead of you, you can move to another city or country, get a job of your dream and you’ll have a people around that will care about you. So, if you have a problem talk about it, tell it to your parents, or friend or just write me, I promise I will listen to you and I know that for some reasone it’s much easier to talk to the stranger than to people that are close to you.

Review of Wild by Hannah Moskowitz

Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Short blurb: Zack is training for two things: being a parent to his twelve-year-old sister once his mother’s Alzheimer’s progresses too far, and running a dangerous race through the mountains of Tennessee. His girlfriend Jordan is sweet and sarcastic — but entirely virtual. They’ve never met in person, because Jordan, it turns out, is still waiting for the right time to tell him she’s Deaf. The revelation brings them closer together, but with the stress of a tumultuous relationship, a new language, a sick mother, and Zack’s uncertain future, there’s going to be a breaking point…and it might be out there in the Tennessee wild.

I love this book a whole lot. It’s beautiful and painful and realistic; no one in this book is perfect (except they’re all perfect because I love them, fight me).

I don’t think I’ve ever read a romance like Zack and Jordan’s — one where they’ve been mostly-together since before the book starts, but still have a long way to go. They have problems, they have fights, and Zack fucks up more than once. But the way they’re willing to fight for each other, even as they recognize that hearing/Deaf relationships rarely work out, makes you need to keep reading. (And you learn so much about ASL and Deaf culture from this book, I think you can tell how much Hannah Moskowitz was committed to getting Jordan’s character right.)

Before I started reading I didn’t think I would really enjoy the plot, to be honest. I thought I was reading it because there’s a Deaf bisexual Jewish love interest, and for a hard of hearing bi Jew like me that sounds… AMAZING. But I did end up loving everything about Wild, not just Jordan in particular. Zack’s goal of running this wild, ridiculous, dangerous race ended up being just as important to me as it was to him, and I think Moskowitz worked it into the book perfectly. The ending was just what it needed to be.

And the characters! This isn’t a book where the romance takes over everything, Zack and Jordan still have other friends and their relationships with them are important to the story. The conversations and issues Zack has with his friends feel realistic, sometimes fun and sometimes frustrating, but ultimately about not cutting the people who want to help you out of your life. Plus family is really important to the story, since a lot of the pressure on Zack comes from his mother’s Alzheimer’s progressing further and feeling responsible for his sister.

(A moment of admiration for his sister Gin, please: snarky, hilarious, twelve-year-old lesbian extraordinaire. How often do we get to see young kids who know they aren’t straight and aren’t told they’re too young to know that? Being LGBTQ+ isn’t “mature” or NSFW, it’s for kids like Gin too, and I love Hannah Moskowitz for showing that.)

Also, this book is funny. Gay humor (well, bi humor usually) at its best. Have I ranted enough? I think I have. Read Wild, please!

Review: 13 Reasons Why - 1x04 (Tape 2, Side B)

The ugly side of the human being.

Tape 2 - Side B is for Taylor, Taylor decided because he loves Hannah that he had the right to take pictures of her in her own room Invading her privacy, affecting her safety, making her paranoid. He can still be worse and he divulges the photos.

I need to control myself because this show makes me feel sad and make feel  all this negative feelings like hate.

Because I don’t know what else to feel when I had to listen to this:

“Nothing anyone did to her was any different than what happens to every girl at every high school”

“She just wanted attention”

Because even after all this, they can’t understand the effects of bullying and sexual harassment, so they don’t deserve a second chance.

I can’t handle it. If I comment on every single thing these idiots say or did I’ll just repeat bad words. Let’s change:

Clay has always been a passive person, but this is starting to change, he’s starting to confront people, I will not judge him for having released the photo, it was wrong, especially after everything he heard on the tapes, but Clay is a flaws person, and the fears, anger, sadness, but especially the powerless is become unbearable, he’s on a journey of self-knowledge, I only hope he knows what he is doing and whether he will be able to bear the consequences. After all, it’s a butterfly effect.

Kate Walsh is doing an expressional job as a mother trying to make sense of everything, and it’s hard to watch the people who are left behind, I know that Hannah was hurt and she just wish the pain was gone, but we don’t usually stop to think About the people who is left behind. Sherlock (BBC) have a super interesting quote about that:

“Taking you own life. Interesting expression — taking it from who? Once it’s over, it’s not you who’ll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.”

Committing suicide is something that affects not only the victim, but also those who keep living after the person’s died, Suicide will stop your pain, but, not everyone else; everyone else will stay here and mourn,

13 Reasons Why

My friend, who I usually admire for his opinion and views, just finished the serie and gave it 3/10. We had some conversation about it. 

I have a lot of thoughts about the serie. I loved the serie.

He really disliked Hannah Baker and I feel so sad she was not understood one more time.

Many critics call Hannah Baker “Drama Queen”.
I think, what is important, is to accept Hannah as an individual.
“Those people just stayed those people, themselves” while watching the serie.
But Hannah Baker was 17 years old, weak, naive, highschool girl. Imperfect girl.

Why she couldn’t stay alive for her parents, even for Clay? Wasn’t their love enough?

Hannah was robbed of herself, she did not love herself anymore, she was a ghost. Her soul disappeared, she probably felt just like a shell (more her f/cking rape scene!).
And yes, I hoped she would be strong enough, but she sadly wasn’t. I hoped she would think of those who loved her and how she’d hurt them by the act, but sadly she was way too lost. She killed herself and she broke my heart.

And everyday there are adult people who have love of their kids, parents, siblings, friends, and they still are “selfish” and do it as well.
Why Hannah can’t be as imperfect as those people?

Why she was such a drama queen?

She actually wasn’t that much… The tapes were “drama queen”ish. But the tapes came after everything. So really, how much drama queen was she when Jessica slapped her when she did nothing wrong? How much drama queen was she when Justin took a picture of her panties and whole school saw it and laughed at it? She only run away and was embarassed and devastated; is that really a drama queen?

She was 17 years old, naive, weak, girl. She was a sweet girl, not the type who would tell everyone to “STFU”. Is this the reason to die? Because she was naive and weak? “The natural selection”?! 
Some EMPATHY people!

Then she was f/cking raped by an ugly pig who f/cking raped her friend before infront of her own eyes.
Maybe if all the “small bullies” didn’t happen before, maybe she would get over the rape. But it was all built up by those “little things”. So they had to be part of it. They were parts of the reason why, by right.

I was bullied when I was 13-14 age. I was, and I still am, a “sharp mouth” kid. But still, I ended up in tears, running away from the classroom to bathrooms where I kind of broke infront of my best friend when she came after me. It wasn’t suicidal.
Comparing to the story, firstly, I am stronger character than Hannah Baker. Secondly, it wasn’t that serious.
But I got probably more empathy towards Hannah than my friend does because of that. I understand why she was so hurt, because I was on that side too.
There is the side of people who laugh, they simply have fun, they don’t even mean to hurt you, seriously, they don’t think/feel/understand that what they are doing could be really hurting you. Then there are you, there was me, the hurt one. Why do they do it? What have I done? Why don’t they like me? Am I not worthy? - I am not kidding. It feels so lonely, you feel like a shit.

And you know, that is what the show was about. This was its purpose. Not just to tell a really worthy story, but to raise awareness. To send message to all those prankers out there, that there are two sides, that what you say hurts a lot. And to those who are bullied, “don’t let it go that far”, “fight for yourself”, “be stronger than Hannah” because we all wish she were

So please, don’t call Hannah Baker a “drama queen”, because then you call my 14 years old self, who is crying at school toilets, a “drama queen”.

13 Reasons Why

So I just finished 13 reasons why and well, if you don’t know about it just go check it out seriously. I have so many emotions towards this tv series, it really made me see the world in a different way.

SPOILER ALERT!

So Hannah Baker… I am not really fond of her actually and as for what I’ve read this is a general opinion. Sure she is dramatic but I can’t really judge her on this matter because every person has a way of dealing with things and I get that. What bothers me is that she just wants people to find out how she’s feeling without even talking to anyone. I know she has tried when she wrote that letter to Zach but that’s all. And why Zach? Why did she tell Zach? She didn’t even know him. And what bothered me the most was how needy she was when it came to boys. First Justin, then Marcus and Zach. I don’t get it. She just needed to grow.

Clay Jensen, I enjoyed him. Not my favorite but cute. He was so sweet and was always there to help his friends. He was so good to Hannah. Everyone needs a Clay Jensen as a friend. What I didn’t like so much about him was how insecure he was. About Hannah specially. I hated to see him hurt so much and he sure didn’t need to blame himself for Hannah’s death. He was just doing what she asked. It wasn’t his fault but still he cared so much about her that it drove him crazy. I loved how he was trying to get justice for Hannah. (I know in the book Hannah actually mentions that Clay was on the tapes because she wanted him to know why she killed herself.)

Favorite character: Alex Standall 

I do love Alex. He knew what he did was wrong and accept that. He always stood up for the truth and himself even if that meant getting a black eye. Yes, he was a jerk when he made that list but he couldn’t know the consequences would be that bad, for him was just a stupid list. He just gets that what he did was wrong and he is truly sorry. He was always the one that stated that what Hannah said on the tapes was true and that they need to deal with it. He knew what was right and wasn’t afraid to paid for his mistakes. I do hope that he is okay and gets through to the next season because he doesn’t deserve to die. 

Least favorite character: Courtney Crimsen

She is so annoying. Throughout the whole series she keeps saying that what Hannah says on the tapes is not true when she clearly knows it is true. She is ready to lie to the police because she’s afraid that people find out she is a lesbian. She prefers that people not know the truth about her than that justice is made to Jessica and Hannah about Bryce. She’s just messed up and a selfish bitch who doesn’t care about anything but herself. I’m not saying that coming out is not hard but that are worst things than that like death, for example.

Favorite ship: Justin and Jessica

You thought I would say Clay and Hannah, well no. Don’t get me wrong, I love Clay and Hannah’s romance but not as much or as deep as Justin and Jessica’s. Justin and Jessica? They’re not the perfect couple, they’re not even close to being one but there’s something about them. Justin’s life is so messed up with everything with his mom and her crazy boyfriends, always having to run away from home. Tragic. I feel sorry for him. His character has a deeper meaning, you know. He hides his problems through his personality and how he acts. He’s a jerk, yes. But there’s a reason for that and we need to understand that. He acts tough and all but in the inside he’s broken and is crying for help. And there was Jessica, caring for him, loving him. Something his mom could never give him. So he started to care for her and it grew into something more, actual love. He knows he messed up real big and he regrets it like crazy but there’s really nothing he can do. And I get Jessica, he let her be raped. What an asshole. But she loves him and she knows he loves her. Either way, there’s no way you can recover from that so she has to move on. And that’s what makes them so real. Their last scene he’s desperate but he knows he’s not getting her back. I love their relationship because it shows that love is not all. Sometimes love is not enough. They loved each other so much but it was not enough. 

Other characters:

Zach: What he did was bad. Really bad. He knew what was going on with Hannah and he didn’t help. But he’s a good person. When he showed Clay the letter Hannah wrote to him, I can see he was sorry. He felt guilty for not helping her and now was to late. He liked Hannah and he just wanted to be her friend and get close to her. I believe that just because he hang out with Bryce and Justin, Hannah kind of put him in the same place as them. But he wasn’t like Justin and Bryce, he truly cared. I feel like he wanted to help but didn’t know how. And know was to late and he did blame himself. Zach is a kind person.

Marcus: He’s such a jerk. He pretends to be the perfect student but it’s all just a facade. He’s a coward. What he did to Hannah, why? Why couldn’t he understand she didn’t what to do that? No means no.  

Skye: I really liked her character. Skye was struggling but that didn’t stop her from being friendly. She was really an outsider but she obviously cared for Clay. She knew who to trust and who don’t. She was a good friend. 

Bryce and Tyler: These two disgust me, specially Bryce obviously. I really hope they get caught next season and get what they deserve. Stalking someone? Raping someone? These are serious stuff. They need to pay for what they did. 

Jeff: He didn’t deserve to die. Clay and Jeff’s friendship was the best. I cried a lot when I found out that he had died because from the previous episodes that didn’t show so I never thought he could be dead. Jeff was encouraging and supportive and didn’t deserve his fate. I loved him. 

Tony: He was such a good friend. To Hannah, to Clay. He is such an amazing character. He does everything to help Clay while he’s listening to the tapes, to make him understand. And he just wants to honor Hannah and do what she has asked. He has a lot of love in his heart and just wanted to do what’s best.

Sheri: She didn’t deserve to be on the tapes. She made a mistake, huge mistake but she was hurting and was really sorry about it. She did everything she could and couldn’t to make it up for it and had a really huge heart. 

Mr. Porter: This is real. This is serious. This is what happens at a lot of schools. Incompetent professionals. They never take things serious, it’s just a phase till it’s not. And then the damage it’s done. This is not a joke. When students go to counselors it’s because they need help. It’s their job to take things serious. It’s their job to help. Not to minimize everyone teens say and believe it’s just them overreacting. To them it’s not, it’s real, it’s in their heads. And they need someone competent to help them. If they come to you, it’s because every other option has vanished. Be aware, believe. Depression is real, suicide is real and it has becoming more and more common among teenagers. Mr. Porter is needed and it’s important. 

ps: this is in a random order.

About the story:

This really made me think about my actions. Am I doing things right? I’m cautious now. About how I act, what I say. You never know when you’re going to say the wrong thing. You think it’s okay but it may not be. Even the small things can mean something big. You don’t what people are going through. Hannah’s story creates awareness. It makes you think. Suicide is not a joke. Sometimes I think society sees suicide as an act of cowardliness but I couldn’t disagree more. If someone takes or is thinking of taking their own life that means the world failed them. Not them that failed the world. People easily put the fault in somebody else but never accept it as their own. Maybe that’s what we should do. Deal with the consequences of our acts. Every word, every gesture means something, use it wisely.

Dirk Gently 2x02: Everything is Connected Blah, Blah, Blah

Episode two, we are here, we are doing it, it is happening. I feel like we have  experienced a veritable season’s worth of content this past episode and frankly my dear, I am exhausted. Both figuratively in the sense that my mind and spirit have absorbed so much exposition they are wearied, and physically in the sense that I feel like my body is going to turn to dust any moment. And yes there were still many bright spots, I smiled, I lolled, I felt holistic universal joy. But I also feel adrift in a plot ocean, gasping for breath in an endless sea of names and relationships. Okay that’s enough couching and complaining, let’s submerge fully together and try to shed some light into the murky depths.

Once again this episode begins in the whimsical land of Wendimoor, where the moon becomes increasingly terrifying to me the longer I stare at it. Like is this just a waned Majora’s Mask moon? Does the season end with it killing everyone? Help. In this first scene  Silas, boyfriend of Pink Hair, and that big guy he was with, return to their castle where they have some ‘splainin to do to their queen (right?). Queen lady lays out the reason for their kingdoms feud with Pink Hair’s family, although to be frank with you all I got up during this scene to get a ginger ale because I was super hungover so my understanding of what was said is limited. But I think the gist is that the Queen’s family stole the land/is mining the land/built that weird castle on the land, that rightfully belongs to Pink Hair’s family. Queen believes Pink Hair to be a rogue and wants him killt. In this world/dimension/dream-space Dirk Gently is a legend/fairytale that Silas believes in, to the chagrin of the queen. That’s right, right? If there was more going on in this scene, I honestly don’t want to know about it.

Back in the real world, there is even more happening. Amanda Walsh (Suzie) discovers her witch-powers in an enjoyable montage that, as a fellow witch, really spoke to my heart. Suzie goes for the classic witchy glam-makeover, lookin’ good, feelin’ good. But despite these gains, Suzie still has her miserable family of sucky dudes to deal with. Her super-mean husband delivers a surprisingly articulate and character-illuminating speech though before Suzie turns him into her zombie slave. Apparently Suzie suffered some sort of earlier accident (perhaps the origin of her limp and cane) and hasn’t been able to move past it. What could it be! I know we are supposed to see Suzie as a potential bad guy because she *literally* kicks the dog, but any lady who uses questionable witchcraft for personal gain is a-okay in my book.

Meanwhile back at the Blackwing center, Friedkin is spinning out over Dirk’s escape. Is he invisible, can he teleport? Friedkin doesn’t know, because honestly he doesn’t know a whole lot. We the audience, who know quite a bit more, know that Mona transported him with a glass of water. Ya duh. Freidkin decides to poll the audience and asks Ken (still trapped in the taxi with Rapunzel) and the captured members of the Rowdy 3 (on ice and more vampirey than ever) if they have any Dirk intel. They do not. Skipping right past 50/50, Friedkin phones a friend to come in and clean up his mess - and it’s Alan Tudyk as the likely meaningfully named Mr. Priest! Thankfully Mr. Priest seems to be the real baddest bad, because I am still not feeling Freidkin. Also I just LOVE bad guy Alan Tudyk, and he is going wild and out with an accent, and weird chuckling. I’m here for it. Chew it up baby, chew it up.

Speaking of the Rowdy 3, Vogle and Amanda are still on the run trying to triangulate their missing compatriots via Amanda’s visions. I am so digging Amanda’s look this season, I am also digging her disregard for personal safety. This show likes to stick in little clues and clever foreshadowing (which I love), so let’s take a little looksy at Amanda’s vision and see what we can pull out- There’s the abandoned mansion, what looks to be Suzie’s zombie husband as well as the motor park where he works, Sherlock getting shot, Montana and Alan Tudyk as well as a child (the boy?) drawing what could be either Pink Hair or Dirk on a wall. She also sees things we know to identify with Wendimoor such as the scary moon and scissors. In all the visions we’ve seen so far this season there has also been a recurring menacing face with super scary eyes. Who dat? 

Finally back to that car in a tree and our main story heroes. Surprise Dirk is in the trunk! I thought surprise Dirk in the trunk was a little easy, but I’m not mad about expediting his reunion with Todd. Their friendship is the beating heart of the show and their repartee was sorely missed in the first episode. After our heroes reunion, our trio is arrested by Sheriff Sherlock (in his first ever arrest). While Sherlock is a little rusty on police protocol it turns out he is SUPER DOWN with holistic detectiving and may be Dirk’s spiritual soulmate. That development was unexpected, but welcome and I am hoping for some jealousy on Todd’s part about no longer being Dirk’s go-to-guy (he was recently downgraded to assistant after all). Sherlock seems to get what’s going down and takes his new prisoners out on the road to investigate the old mansion and wet circle wall. We have now arrived at our second exposition dump.

I stayed on the couch raptly watching this part, ginger ale in hand. So here we go. The car that fell out of the tree was 50 years old, although brand new (with only 42 miles…wink) and also contained the body of Marina Cardenas who has been missing for the same amount of time. The disappearance of Marina and her husband Hector are a local mystery. Bergsberg has many a local mystery including  an electrical burnout that fried the town’s power and caused a mass exodus of residents, and the random boat in the field that we saw last episode. Although Sherlock assures Farrah these things are not connected, I can’t help feeling like they probably are. A wild guess, I know.

But wait there’s more! Farrah and Sherlock follow muddy footprints (left by John Hannah at the end of last episode) into the abandoned house (previously lived in by the missing Marina and Hector). Inside they find more mystery footprints, a single red phone (Chekov’s phone), height markers, and a disconcertingly ghost-like John Hannah himself. Clues people. Clues. Out in the back they make an even more startling discovery- Hector Cardenas entombed in a tree. A tree that they find because Todd and Deputy Tattoo Face are practicing a sonic gun out on it. Exhausting, truly. Anyway, we have found the missing couple! Although their corpses are definitely suspish. Both tree-related, and both suggesting time-travel tomfoolery. I’m sure there will be more on this. But there is even MORE Cardenas mystery to be had! As Farrah astutely wonders “Where’s the kid?” As she has deduced from the height markings in the house they must have had a child. Perhaps a boy! Oh wait where have we heard this before? Dirk assumes this is the boy, THE boy, the FIND the boy, boy. There is a LOT going on, but connections are starting to be made. This is positive.

Finally Pink Hair pops out in the middle of a road, he’s not in Wendimoor anymore. How did he get to our world? What is the means of that transport? Did Bart swap places with him? More questions, always more questions. Honestly this episode made ME feel like I was hit with a car. While there was a welcome return to the team dynamics that worked in season 1, and continue to shine (team Farrah/Dirk/Todd) as well as some intriguing new characters (Amanda Walsh/Alan Tudyk), this episode was over-laden with plot. It’s not that I need anything watered-down, in fact one of the aspects of the writing I enjoy is the fact that it assumes the audience can keep up with its clever tricks and clues. Season one was a rare season of television storytelling that had both organic twists and surprises and a commendably tight plot that contained time-travel and body-swapping. Season two seems to be attempting to top the first seasons tale with an even more outrageous case and an even wider reaching world. This is fine and expected but if the first season was a perfect clear chime, this season is more of a…thump. Not unpleasant, thumps can be satisfying too, and there is still much about these episodes that has been genuinely delightful. I am still a believer, and maybe like last season this is the info dump that will then provide a foundation for the rest of the season to be picked through and expanded. What I fear is additional piling on without the reprieve of investigation and character development. Time will tell.

CORGI WATCH:

NO CHANGE.

XO MD

Reviews on Fanfiction

I thought a lot about this topic the last few days, mostly because of THIS wonderful statement from @iusedteabag about what comments can cause and how important it is to comment on people’s works.

I love to review, I love to read (new) stories and give feedback and that’s why I want to offer whoever wants to, to show me their work by tagging me, sending me a PM or getting in touch with me in which form ever.

You want feedback? - I’ll give you feedback!

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Eddie Redmayne 2016: A year in the life, Part 1

He was nominated again for every major acting award, was the face of an international designer, sold nearly a billion dollars worth of tickets fronting a new part of the Harry Potter franchise and finally received his OBE from the Queen.

Still, the most significant event of 2016 for Eddie Redmayne had to be the birth of his daughter, Iris Mary, on June 15.


There had been rumors of Hannah’s pregnancy, but the couple made it official (if telling Ryan Secrest on E! Television is official) during the Golden Globes pre-broadcast. The couple hit red carpets during awards season with Hannah’s baby bump becoming increasingly visible.

In infanticipation, the couple took a babymoon after the Oscars, first enjoying the Los Angeles area (with Eddie’s parents along briefly), then spending time in Japan surrounding The Danish Girl premiere there, and finally, on a romantic sojourn to Paris. Back at home in London, they were seen taking the Tube.

The first the world knew of Iris Mary’s arrival was through a tasteful announcement in a London newspaper. As she passed her six-month birthday, we had yet to see her, but Mum and Dad have been spotted on occasion pushing her pram (including a trip to the Rio Olympics, Iris’ first foreign journey). Dad talked of being sleep deprived but gushed over fatherhood and was even seen taking Iris out on his own. 

The focused young actor is now a devoted husband and father.

Thoughts on Girls S5 E6 from someone who had given up on this show:

While i enjoyed the first few seasons of Girls i had completely lost interest by the fourth season (Hannah in Iowa is so boring). I found it increasingly predictable, boring, self serving and just plain annoying. And really now that Adam Driver is in Star Wars is there really any reason to watch this show. But a friend said she had watched the most recent episode of Girls and that it was amazing; and i just so happened to be bored enough today to catch up on the episodes i had missed (they mostly sucked by the way so don’t bother if you haven’t seen them) and eventually got to Season 5 Episode 6 ‘The Panic in Central Park’ (which is actually an amazing episode). I wont go over the plot of the episode (cause google exists) but the episode revolves around Marnie (the second most annoying character) and Charlie (holy crap charlie’s back and has a beard… and a drug habit) and it feels like a completely different show. The show looks visually different and feels decidedly more surreal and fantastical then other episodes it still has the gross aspects that Girls always does (i.e: wearing sneakers with a ball gown, walking bare feet in Brooklyn, a mugging, and a communal bathroom). While i usually hate when ensemble shows do capsule episodes but this is the best thing Girls has done for a while. Its romantic yet dark (kissing charlies forehead then finding a needle in his jeans), its self contained yet movies the storyline forward (Marnie dumps Desi at the end… finally) and its dramatic yet funny (Desi telling marnie she is probably gonna get murdered is just lol). While i doubt that the rest of the season will be anywhere near as good as this episode i would recommend watching it then quickly get back to watching better shows. 

OneRepublic – The Fillmore – Philadelphia, PA – November 29, 2016

OneRepublic played at The Fillmore on Tuesday, November 29 and did not disappoint. I grew up listening to the bands’ progress and I’ve seen them come up with some hits and some not so popular songs. Now, the band is back and better than ever with a new album and a new sound. Here are some of my observations form the concert…

Music is rarely live anymore

It feels like nowadays it is hard to get a genuinely good band to play live and put their soul into their performance. To my surprise, Ryan Tedder, OneRepublic’s lead singer holds many talents. Not only does my new man crush hit all the high notes but he rocks a tambourine and plays his heart out on the piano. Brent Kutzle, the bands’ cellist, began to play Secrets and the crowd went wild. It’s live music and talent like theirs that has guided this bands’ success over the years.

The Crowd

Unfortunately, the turnout at the Fillmore was disappointing, taking into consideration it was a Tuesday night and the show was a special promotion by American Airlines and MasterCard. However, everyone that did attend danced and sang along as if there was a full house. It is rare to get good energy from the entire crowd nowadays. Because the turnout was not huge, the concert felt a lot more personal, which added to the vitality of the night.

Ryan Tedder should be a Comedian

Intermittently throughout the amazing performance put on by the band, Tedder would intervene with hilarious words of wisdom and jokes. The band did an excellent job keeping the crowd’s interest throughout the night.

Their New Sound

OneRepublic released their latest album on October 7, 2016, almost two years after their last album. The sound is completely new, but definitely did not disappoint. The new album features other guest artists like Peter Gabriel and Santigold, which Tedder was very excited about. They played one of their new songs “A.I.,” saying “we know it’s a weird song.” The new songs stayed true to the bands’ iconic sound, but in a way that was new and reinvented.

The Classic Hits

I can’t forget about the songs that put OneRepublic where they are today; they played them all! I admit, there may have been a few tears during “Good Life,” which was to be expected with Tedder’s long-drawn high notes and soulful performance. Overall, my experience covering the concert will not be forgotten and I can say that I have re-discovered my love for OneRepublic.

Hannah Rose Pittel

Copyright ©2016 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: December 2, 2016.

Photos © 2016 Lisa Lake/WireImage. Courtesy of Ketchum Sports & Entertainment.

Review: Buffering by Hannah Hart

Rating: 5/5 stars

Favourite character: n/a 

On a scale from one to gay: Raging lesbian

Trigger warnings: This book actually provides trigger warnings, so I’ll list them here: Schizophrenia, sexuality (lots of internalized homophobia), questions of faith, questions of fame, drug use (quote: “psychedelic visions in the desert”), self-harm, sex, spiders, suicide (a very small part), and neglect/abuse.

“If you’re reading this and you think that maybe you could love someone of the same gender (or nongender), all I have to say to you is this: Congratulations! You’re perfect and wonderful and more alive than you ever knew. Be proud of who you are because you’re already more than enough.”

When I was a closeted gay, a friend and I were watching YouTube videos when he asked me if I knew who Hannah Hart was and if I liked her. Truth be told, I had no clue and had only seen her in a collab. But I remembered her face and God, did I think she was cute. So I smiled and blushed and told him yes and we watched an episode of My Drunk Kitchen. I never really watched a video of hers after that. Not because I didn’t like it but because I forgot to write her name down and so forgot to subscribe.  
A few years later I saw the name again (because how can you be on the Internet without hearing about Hannah Hart?) and finally subscribed. Again, I didn’t watch any videos other than the new ones in my sub box. Not because I didn’t want to, but because why watch old videos when you can watch the new and make the most of your limited (read: poorly budgeted) time? 
But after reading this book, I’m going to start watching Hannah’s old videos.

***this review is spoiler-free!***

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