hannah makes posts

  • what she says: im fine
  • what she means: in that one episode of sonny with a chance, when sonny created a fake club called "the basement", she told tawni that chad still believed miley and hannah were two different people. this means that both shows existed in the same universe during the same time period. when selena gomez guest-starred in one episode, she played herself, yet she portrayed hannah's archenemy mikayla on hannah montana. lets also recall that hannah and alex russo met on the S.S. TIPTON during the crossover "wizards on deck with hannah montana". so is selena really leading not a double, but a TRIPLE life? and more importantly, what is her real identity? selena, mikayla, or alex?
3

birthday cake shot

based on @beggingforfics antics and because it’s harry’s brithday. so why not write about someone else’s birthday on his birthday? does that make sense…probably not, but we’re going to do it anyway. also a very happiest of birthday’s to the main squeeze himself Harry Styles, I tweeted you, but will you see it? No, probably not even a little bit. Am I bitter? No. I’ve never been tweeted by you boys, so I’m used to the disappointment. But I love you anyway my now 23 year old frog son, you’re beautiful on the inside and out and you’ll never see this message so it’s irrelevant but hey. I’m gonna do it anyway. 

Rhea met him on her birthday, when she was trying to justify her friend’s not answering their phones and why she was sitting on a raggedy old bar stool by herself, and drinking by herself with a stupid god damn sash on her front and a fucking tiara on her head. Both items were given to her by the same person who said they would meet for drinks that night. 

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im laughing i know this conflicts with the timeline but just imagine it’s a few months since doof and perry have been assigned to each other and seven year old vanessa has met perry several times and she like has this parent teacher conference and doof is getting vanessa ready and like
“okay so your mom is gonna meet us there—“
“what about perry”
“… what.”
“what about perry?”
“sweetie he’s… he’s my nemesis, not—“
“but he’s almost always here when i’m with you! and he got me a christmas present and he always makes sure wave at me when i’m over and he sometimes watches movies with us and—“
“yes but vanessa he’s not… he’s not your parent—“
and vanessa just
refuses to go to the conference
and doof like
sighs
and calls up perry just “okay you know how two months ago i pushed you out of the way when the zuccini-inator was exploding and then i said that you owe me one. well i’m calling in that favor”
and they meet charlene at the door and honestly charlene knows her ex husband well enough to not even really question the platypus. of course heinz brought a platypus. “he’s a family friend,” heinz says. “vanessa wanted him here.” charlene just sighs
the teacher is confused but eventually rolls with it, as perry diligently takes notes on what vanessa needs to be studying more. (he sneaks out in between conferences to candace’s conferences, listening by the door and taking the same sort of notes for her, and when the boys are old enough, he does it for them)
the school just knows now that perry is going to be at every one of vanessa doofenshmirtz’s parent teacher conferences
then one day at the start of junior year a the doofenshmirtz family files in for a conference, but since doof is doing his own conferences now (which are going… okay considering everything) they decided to let another family member join in and teacher just sees norm stuffed into a desk like “HI I’M NORM. HOW IS MY SISTER DOING???” and the teacher just like. sighs.

2

“Hannah picks up Baker’s iPhone, connected to the stereo through the auxiliary jack, and scrolls through the playlists until she finds the one she wants—the one she discovered by accident a few months ago, and which made Baker blush and steal the phone back. 

Songs han loves. 

She plays Coldplay’s “Strawberry Swing” and leans back against the leather seat, letting the sound and lyrics wash over her. No one says anything—they all sink into the song with willing submission—but Baker turns the stereo volume up, and Hannah glances over at her, at the way she looks behind the steering wheel, sunlight on her neck and shoulders, dark hair spilling over her cotton tank top. 

“Perfect song,” Baker says, her voice soft in the way it is when her mind is far away.”

You can listen here.