hannah becker

Eu queria morrer.
Pensei nessa palavra muitas vezes. É algo difícil de dizer em voz alta. É ainda mais assustador
quando você sente que pode está falando serio.
—  Hannah Becker.
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You’re not in love Scott, you’re sixteen years old. You’re a child.

Derek doesn’t say the words to hurt Scott and he doesn’t say it because he’s jealous. He says it because he’s no longer a sixteen year old boy. He says it because he was a child once too and he thought that everything could be simple. He says it because once he thought he could have it all.

Derek Hale calls Scott out on being a sixteen year old child because there are things, that even if he explained, Scott would never understand them. 

He’ll never understand that he loved before Kate and he’s sure at this point Scott doesn’t understand how Derek could love at all with the way he acts. He’ll never understand that Hannah Becker, his best friend and first true love, came before Kate. That Hannah Becker was just like him, a werewolf, and was the only person at school that didn’t shy away from him because of his attitude. Scott would never understand that instead of choosing the one person in the whole world that understood him and stood by him, that he chose a monster like Kate to love. He’ll never understand that when he had every opportunity to stop Hannah from walking out on him, that he didn’t take it.

Because once upon a time, Derek Hale was a sixteen year old boy. He was a sixteen year old boy that didn’t know how to handle the idea of love. He was a sixteen year old boy that thought things would always work out in the end. Once, he was a sixteen year old naive little boy who still believed in happily ever afters.

But now he’s a 20 something year old wolf with no one. He doesn’t have a family. He doesn’t have Hannah. He doesn’t have Kate. Even now, with Scott, a sixteen year old boy turned werewolf who so desperately needs someone to guide him - who so desperately needs a pack - he doesn’t even have him. 

Because Scott is a sixteen year old boy.

Because Scott is a sixteen year old naive boy who doesn’t realize that he can lose it all before he realizes what he has.

But Derek does and Derek says these things because it’s the truth. He says it because he doesn’t want Scott to live with the guilt that he lives with every.single.day.

Video and mini fic dedicated to the Derek Hale to my Hannah Becker.