hangover three

4

Lenasdayoff part 9


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Past Lena was a dick.  That was all she could say right now.  The early morning sun was blasting through the opened curtains that she’d been far too preoccupied to close the night before.  She growled, burying her face in Kara’s hair in an attempt to ward off her hangover.  

Kara let out a soft whine, dragging Lena in close.  “Stop moving.”

 “Don’t tell me what to do Danvers…”

Lena watched one of Kara’s blue eyes open and fixate on her, “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll revoke that.”

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(Yuri on Ice AU where Ransom signs with an NHL team after college!)

Late May in the suburbs of Toronto. Justin Oluransi comes home with the groceries and is greeted by his father. “A very tall hockey player came all the way from America to see you,” he says, eyes glinting with mischief. “He said he’ll be staying for a while. We put him in your sister’s bedroom, since your auntie’s visiting in July so we want to keep the spare bedroom, and Amanda won’t be home until September. He’s out back by the pool with your mother.”

Justin puts the groceries away, then takes a Gatorade bottle onto the back deck. “You could have texted first!” he yells, winding up like a pitcher and fastballing it at–

Alexei Mashkov, who looks up from a pleasant conversation in Russian with Dr. Oluransi and–thank God–catches the bottle instead of letting it break his face.  He drops it onto his lounge chair, though, and rubs stinging hands together.

Ransom nearly shits himself. The last time he saw Alexei Mashkov was his last NCAA game–last game as captain–the loss. The disappointment. He thinks Tater might have come to the drinking party where everyone drowned their sorrows after, but his memory is pretty hazy. He’d been so ashamed, so terrified to talk to him after the shitshow of the championship final. All he’d wanted to do was drink himself into oblivion. It took the hangover three days to go away completely, and he and Holster started talking again before the week was out, but the memory still stings.

“Shi–fu–sorry,” he stammers, absolutely mortified but mindful of his mother. “Oh my god, I did not think–I didn’t mean to, I thought you were–what are you doing here?”

Mashkov rolls onto his side, all muscled six feet four inches of him and very little bathing suit, and smiles at Justin in a way that shows way too many teeth for all that his lips are closed. Ransom feels almost hunted by this appallingly sexy man. “I am in Canada to train with you! All summer!”

Hungover

Hello, Love bugs.

Dan X Reader

Warnings- swears

Could I send in a cheeky request if you’re not too busy for a fluffy fic of being hungover with Dan?? Also, You’re absolutely beautiful. X -Anon


How is it birds can be too loud? Because they seemed to manage it pretty easily this morning outside Dan’s big window. You gave a loud moan of disapproval as Dan Pulled the blankets around him tighter. He was always terrible at sharing the blankets on a good day. Let alone a day where the two of you had drunk your faces off the night before. Dan had hit another million subscribers on YouTube and you insisted that he needed to celebrate. He said it was weird to celebrate hitting another million and that he would rather stay home and watch a movie. After a lot of persuading and promise of a celebration blowjob after going out Dan agreed to go and have a drink with you. Well once at the bar one drink turned into a few shots and a few shots turned into the two of you going to a club. The club wouldn’t have been that big of a deal if it wasn’t for the lads who were making people open up as they poured shots straight from the bottle into your mouth. In all honestly, you were just glad the two of you made it home because you weren’t sure how the two of you got here.

You decided you should assess the damage that was done over the course of the evening. Reaching over you found your sticky phone on the charger beside the bed. You had to make a mental note to thank drunk you for that later. Unlocking it you decided Instagram would be a good jumping off point the damage. You were stupid but you weren’t that stupid so you decided to type in Dan’s insta first. Nothing. It was still aesthetic as fuck as always. No photographic evidence that you were both shit faced last night. Your turn. You were already regretting looking and you hadn’t even seen it yet. You were sure you were having a flashback of you uploading something on Instagram last night. You closed your eyes quickly before clicking on your profile. There sat only three photos from the evening. Number one was a selfie the two of you took last night as you were going to the bar. The two of you looked good and it even had a cute caption about how proud you were of your man. That one was safe. Next was a photo of the two of you making out. Not classy. Not even all that cute as Dan totally had his tongue in your mouth as obviously, a random person took the photo for you. That was a club photo so you were just lucky you actually got your phone back from the person who took that. The only caption you put was an emoji with heart eyes so you were clearly in the I am fucking in love with you stage of drunkenness. You didn’t know why but you decided to scroll down to read some of the comments. There was a lot that said #Goals but the comment that said ‘nice hands Howell’ made you look back up to the photo to see Dan’s hands cupping your ass as yours were wrapped around his neck. You couldn’t help the audible eww that left your lips making Dan mumble something in his sleep to you.

“Yes, you are in trouble.” Dan didn’t seem to hear that as he was letting out little breaths that were tickling your hand. The two of you were never much for pda so seeing this photo of you making out in public was bad enough let alone you decided to post it on Instagram. Even if you deleted it the internet would have the photo forever already. It was time to see the last one. God only knows what could have been posted last night in your drunken state. Scrolling up you find something surprising. It was an old photo. One Phil took of the two of you cuddling on the couch with Dan resting on the top of your chest as you played with his hair. It was always one of your favourite photos of the two of you. You had never shared it before because it was always just your photo for you. Until now. You couldn’t care less about what people were saying in the comments but you really did want to know what you captioned it as. Under the photo, you had to hit the read more button to see what you had put.

‘This is the guy of my dreams. I never figured I deserved anyone as amazing as him but here he is. He’s mine and I have never been happier. I know I’m being sappy but I can’t imagine my life without him. Love you, Daniel. Hope you’re not going to be too angry that I made you go out and get wasted with me. But I had loads of fun so that all that really matters. Thanks for letting me share him with you guys. He really does make me feel complete.’

You really were always a big sap at the end of an evening of drinking. You tossed your phone back on the table before scooting closer to Dan so his face would be closer to yours. Dan gave you a little smile as you brushed the big curl out of his face. You kissed his little smile before reaching your arm around his back under the blankets so you can rub little circles under his shirt.

“Morning, how are you feeling this morning? Because I feel like a piece of crap that was run over by a truck.” You giggled placing long kisses to his jaw before kissing his lips once more.

“I feel about the same. I can’t decide if I want to shower or brush my teeth first. Maybe I will do them at the same time.” Dan cracked one eye open at you before opening the other one so he could roll both of his eyes at you.

“A little birdy told me that shampoo doesn’t taste all that good.” Dan reached up from under the blankets to give a little stretch before yawning in your face.

“I think anything would help our breath right now.” You said pushing against his cheek to make him turn his head. “Speaking of that little birdy. Can we petition to have the ambience birds turned down this morning? They are so loud.” Dan wasn’t listening much as he had re-snuggled his way into the crook of your neck.

“I think we should petition for you to stop talking and to try and convince Phil to get us some tea and maybe even something to eat.” Dan’s face was still smushed into your skin as he mumbled to you but you knew what he wanted.

“I don’t think it’s fair to make Phil be our saviours. How about we both go have a nice long bath, then I will go and get us something to eat.” Dan agreed to let you crawl out of bed first. As you left the warmth you looked down at your outfit to see not only your pyjama pants but also one of Dan’s old shirts on the top. “Like my look? I’m calling it found on the floor boho” Dan looked at you with a smirk as he attempted to get out of bed.

“I think this will be a three-day hangover. I don’t remember much other than shots and pinching your butt all night.” You thought for a second before remembering how horny he really was last night.

“Did you every get your celebration blowy?” You said shedding your clothing down to your underwear.

“To be honest you very well could have and I don’t remember. So, let’s say no so you can still be in debt with me.” You tossed your borrowed shirt at Dan before walking into the bathroom that was connected to his room. After starting the water, you found one of Dan’s black like his soul bath bombs to toss into the water. Dan had joined you in the room reaching around you to give you a big hug before stripping his boxer briefs and slipping into the hot water. Once in he held his hand out to you so you could get in and sit in his lap. You took his hand letting the hot water run over your somewhat stiff body as the bath finished filling. Once full the two of you let the silence fall over the two of you letting the water help with not only the stickiness from having liquor spilt all over you but also help relieve your headaches and muscles calm.

i.
Drink your morning coffee to cure
last night’s hangover because for three weeks
straight you have been binge-drinking, drowning
memories of your ex-lover to no success.
Take a seat in your sofa and try
to remember what she said last night when you drunk-called her,
try to remember if she said anything at all.

It has been only three weeks since she left
and you’ll tell yourself,
“There must have been still some love left
for me, because she picked up the phone, didn’t she?
Otherwise, why would she?” Please, don’t.
Because, again, you were too inebriated to even remember
that she did not say anything at all.
You need to decide to finally get sober
so that the next time you’ll call her you won’t forget
that she did not say anything at all.

ii.
Three days later
and you’ll be thinking that without the alcohol you will never
have the courage to dial her number.
But it’s okay,
don’t even consider touching your phone.
Drink your coffee, pet your cat, listen to the news,
think about meteor showers and seashells
anything that will keep your mind off
what you’d tell her when you call her or see her or
the moles on her face which you used to
trace like constellations or how she smelled like strawberries
the last time you saw her.

You are doing a great job being sober, you will believe
that the worst is over, for you have already crashed
rock bottom and you won’t let yourself slip
any much further.

Whisper to yourself,
“It’s okay, it’s going to be okay now,”
over and over and over
until you feel certain that it is
because honey,
the worst is not yet over
it is only the calm before the storm.
—  kabalintunaan // dear younger self (part 1 of 2, part 2 here)

v8vendetta  asked:

So some drunk asshole tried being the Hulk and tried to tearing the urinal out from the wall, and in the process fucking broke a pipe inside the wall and flooded the entire bar. We had to shut off the water and close down immediately. At 12:30 AM on a Saturday night.

I am a bit alarmed that someone who was drunk and a mere human had the strength to do that. I’m also a bit leery on saying impressed since it’s obvious they were a massive shit pile for doing it, though. Either way I hope it’s cleaned up soon and that the other drunks weren’t too unruly about it. Also hope you’re not the one to clean it up and he gets a three day hangover and/or pulled muscle from the needless effort. -Abby

I Need You | Draco Malfoy x Trans!Male Reader (Part 3)

Warnings: Hangover, FLUFF

Words: 915

Part 1, Part 2


(Y/N) POV:

My head felt like it was going to split open like a rotten melon as soon as my eyes opened. I obviously had drank way too much last night. I let out a groan and rolled over to see I wasn’t in my own bed, but Draco’s. Did I crash here because he stayed the night with Pansy? That must be it, considering the dorm is empty. I was laying under the thick blanket and trying to recall last night’s events when I heard the dark wooden door to the dorm open. Draco walked in with a tall glass of water and a bottle full of some kind of potion.

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A Japanese perspective on imagery in Mothra vs Godzilla

Hiya both,

Great job on the podcast, guys, I just recently started listening as I am midway through my own non-chronological run through the bulk of Godzilla films. I was glad to see you both enjoyed Mothra vs Godzilla as much as I did. It is one of the very best in my opinion also. I just wanted to add a little wrinkle from my Japanese cultural background that might not be obvious but might make MvG that much more poignant to the non-Japanese observer.

Two points to make, really…

One: The scene when the kindergarten/primary school teacher is fleeing Godzilla with the pupils to the other side of the island.

This scene, needless to say, is incredibly affecting just on the surface of it. The scene sells the high stakes - losing innocent children to the monster (rather than just greedy/stupid fishermen and their homes) and the manic desperation of the headmaster ashore on the mainland. However, in addition to that, some cultural background makes this scene even more chilling. By way of explanation, first, indulge me a short paragraph of history.

During WWII, Japan’s battlefront with the US was mainly aerial bombing of strategic targets, and the main ground warfare avenues were in Japan’s imperial conquests, the Pacific islands, famously Guadalcanal in the Solomons. The only time US-Japanese forces clashed on either country’s home turf was in the closing stages of the war when American forces reached Okinawa. For the first time civilians were forced to reckon with a physical enemy presence in their towns and homes, and the self-sacrificing, brainwashed nature of contemporary Japanese society would manifest in unimaginably awful incidents.

You can Google “Okinawa children mass suicides” for details (Reuters, The Guardian, NY Times have covered it), but in a nutshell, the military would hand out two grenades to classroom teachers to use when cornered - one to throw at the enemy, and the other to commit suicide instead of being taken alive. On small islands like in the Okinawa archipelago, there’s only so far you can run before the enemy catches you.

Of course, the Godzilla movies are no stranger to stoic death (the family in the 1954 original accepting their fate at the mercy of Godzilla so that they could meet their deceased father comes to mind) but the mechanics of this scene really stand out to me as the product of deliberate, conscious choices:
• The fact that the scene plays out on an island, with the mainlanders unable to offer support to the women and children - an obvious reference to Okinawa’s physical separation from mainland Japan
• The children, crying as their female teachers console them, are forced to grow up before their time, being made to “march” over a steep hill to get to the far side of the island
• Godzilla, the embodiment of atomic might (wielded by the United States over Hiroshima & Nagasaki in the context of WWII) is the force of doom
• The children and teachers hide in a cave on a sandy beach - in popular culture, the child and infant suicides from WWII are often depicted taking place in hiding spots at the edges of islands - usually stone cliffs and coastal caves

Even without straying from the text of the film, the scene is an emotionally wrenching one, but with the added historical and cultural background (women and children in peril at a coastal cave), the effect is a bone-chilling pathos and dread.

(sorry if that got a bit heavy!) Now for the second point, which I swear will be shorter…

Two: the Japan-specificity of the criticism of (a) theme park construction and (b) over-development of coastlines.

As you’re doubtless aware, in the immediate post-war period following the rewriting of the new demilitarised constitution in 1947, Japan experienced high economic growth, basically from the 1950s through the 1980s. This included wholesale embrace of American pop cultural entertainment-business products such as the movie studio system, Disney and Warner mascot characters, and theme parks.

Even today, Japanese theme parks and extreme rides rank highly in international lists of extreme rides, and Tokyo Disneyland was the first Disneyland in Asia, even before Hong Kong or Singapore, international playgrounds of the Asian affluent. I appreciate you touched on the criticism of capitalism, but I might just add that theme parks are particularly central to Japanese society as an affordable entertainment venue.

Lastly, I’m not sure if you’ve been to Japan, but many coastlines are covered in concrete “tetrapods” as a measure against coastal erosion and tsunamis. These sorts of large-scale, concrete-heavy (in many cases) white elephant projects in rural areas came under intense criticism, especially in the 1990s, as it was revealed that many projects had been fronts for yakuza-related local government corruption. It was also in the 1990s that many opulent theme parks that had sprung up in economically unviable situations in the 1960s through the 1980s went out of business and decayed (the inevitable hangover from three decades of heady development).

The principled messaging of Mothra vs Godzilla, and its optimistic depiction of the idea that the press could influence the people for good, should be commended, especially with a view to how specifically Japanese the major social-economic problems raised in the film are.

Anyway, sorry about the long message. Keep up the good work! Loving the podcast.

Phil


Thank you so much for this! 

Travelin’ Soldier Part 3

Summary: Reader is currently deployed in the army to an undisclosed combat area. She has been deployed for nearly two years. Anxiously awaiting her return is her husband and brother as they film for Supernatural. Letter comes informing the family that she may not be heard from for awhile and soon devastating news comes.

Characters: husband!Jensen x Reader, Jared x Reader (Twins), Gen, Shepherd and Thomas.

Words: 2927

Disclaimer: I do not own the title of the song Travelin’ Soldier by the Dixie Chicks at all. I simply thought it could be a little fighting. Not hate towards Danneel either, as this is simply fiction and not real. I do not own any songs in this either.

Warnings: possible swearing, war and A LOT of angst. Death.

Author: Caitsy

Tagging a few at the end. Send an ask to be tagged, or request something.


A/N:  I want to thank you so much for the support you have sent to Ash and I! I apologize in advance at what is in this.

Part One Part Two

Masterlist

Originally posted by lukasswaldenbeck

The day had come to the sheer agony of Jensen. It was the day that the door would be barricaded both the front door and hi-their bedroom door. Thankfully with a little help from prescribed sleeping medicine, courtesy of a doctor his parents dragged him to, he had slept most of the day away. His eyes fluttered instinctively looking to the other side of the bed, her side. Knowing she wouldn’t be there he still felt a sharp pain of disappointment and depression.

The last anniversary Y/N and him shared it had been a rather off day outside. The weather changed more than a few times until they were forced to take shelter under a gazebo in a park. They had laughed watching children running towards their parents into a mass of vehicles. It was the first time they brought up children.

Jensen had known the minute he met her that he would marry that girl and have a family. It was amusing how they had met, it was just after he auditioned for Supernatural that he bumped into her in a coffee shop. It was like they were destined to meet and fall in love. He hated to think about it but they maybe they were destined to lose each other also.

Nervous energy had sent Jensen to the cafe. He was agitated waiting if he had gotten the role in this crazy, intriguing television show. The concept had enthralled him and he knew he had to try out for the part of Sam Winchester. He remembered seeing a pretty tall guy in the building when he had finished his audition, he felt like he had seen the guy before.

Sitting at a table in the very back a female hummed reading a book. She would admit the civilian clothing she was she saw made her a tad bit uncomfortable. She was killing time waiting for her plane back to her hometown, there had been a malfunction causing an emergency landing. That was last night.

She shifted uncomfortable at how loud the room was. She wasn’t used to such loud chatter, in fact when a cup shattered she flinched scanning the area looking for enemies. Y/N was having a very hard time switching from combat to civilian. She quickly noticed a male looking around the shop. There was no open seats but the one in front of her.

Next thing she knew the man in awkwardly standing in front of her holding a bagel and coffee. Jensen wasn’t sure if it was entirely because she sat at the only table with an open chair or that she intrigued him.

“Excuse me, is there anyone sitting there?” The dirty blonde, green eyes man questioned.

“Um. No.” Y/N cleared her through shifting in her army fatigues. She hadn’t had time to change, “You can sit.”

“Are you a…” Jensen trailed off noticing her military uniform.

“Private Y/N Padalecki of the United States.” Y/N smiled as the man sat down, “What’s your name?”

“Jensen Ackles.” Jensen grinned sitting down, “Did you just get back?”

“I did. I’m waiting for a plane to go home. I’m returning from a deployment.”

“How long were you gone?” Jensen asked leaning towards her.

“I was gone for nine months.” Y/N smiled.

They talked a lot, having a break when Jensen got the role of Dean in the the show, before continuing on with their conversation. It was the first time in a very long time that Y/N relaxed and Jensen forgot he about the role. All that mattered was her.

The bagel and coffee were forgotten in the time they talked.

                                              〰️〰️〰️

Y/N’s Sergeant Elias Michaels had made it his personal mission to turn over every rock and leaf to find one of his best soldiers. In the last six months his unit had been assignment to find her; evidence leading to this was from Sgt. Michaels personal time. The evidence showed that Y/N Ackles was still alive and the unit was under strict orders they were to keep it under wraps. They were closing in on the supposed location of the soldier.

“Sir! We have eyes on the location!” Private Johnson called out.

“Get ears. I want ears on the location!” Sgt. Michaels ordered before moving towards his office to call his superior.

“Sgt. Michaels I would like some good news.” The female said picking the phone up, “I’m getting annoyed at the lack of news coming from you.”

“Ma’am we have eyes on the location.”

“Well it’s about time.”

                                               〰️〰️〰️

Dear Y/N,

Time flies when you have three kids! I still can’t believe it in a way, it feels like just yesterday we were sneaking out of the house. You remember how wasted we got that night? I think I had a hangover for three days. I went to your place a couple days ago to clean it. Jensen doesn’t care anymore. He’s having a hard time coping, he won’t write letter like I suggested and he won’t see a therapist either. I think if he does the situation will be come entirely real.

His parents managed to drag him to a doctor to get sleeping pills. Got I miss you so much. This is going to hurt you as much as me. The boys don’t bring you up anymore. I found our matching shirts from freshman year for halloween. The amount of laughs we got was something special. I remember protecting you and you protecting me. Sometimes I swear we were more than twins. We were best friends and we will always be twins and best friends.

Oh I watched Gen show my little angel a picture of you. It brought tears to my face when she grinned at the picture and babbled away. I know it sounds stupid but I feel like you’re there. We’re making sure you talk about you a lot more. Gen and I had a fight out that.

It was loud and horrible but when she said, ‘just because she’s gone doesn’t mean her memory has to die too!’. It was the first night in a VERY long time I spent the night on the couch. It cleared my mind though. I’m introducing my little girl to you, just not the way I want to.

Tom and Shep want to go to the park. I better get ready. I’ll write you soon.

With Eternal Love,

Your twin, best friend and protector.

Jared placed the pen down before putting a small picture of his little darling into the envelope along with the envelope before he began to leave for his parents.

〰️〰️〰️

They hadn’t had any news on a funeral. The parents of Y/N were stonewalled when they asked why their child wasn’t given a funeral yet. Months had passed since her death announcement and there was no funeral. It gave Sharon and Gerald false hope that their daughter was coming home. In fact Sharon stood in Y/N childhood room holding a sweater up to her face. No longer did it smell like her but it was the sweater she wore the Christmas before Jensen and her engagement.

“Honey.” Sharon’s husband softly said from the door way, “The therapist said we should pack this stuff-“

“NO!” Sharon yelled turning to see him in a suit.

Gerald’s heart broke more at the agony his wife was in. She was still gorgeous in the dark dress that was both modest and perfect on her. She was barefoot with her heels carelessly on the ground. Slowly he pulled her into his arms as the tears fell from her makeup free face.

“Sh.” Gerald whispered.

“I to-told her not to-“ Sharon’s voice broke, “I begged her to come back and stay. I didn’t want to go in the first place!”

“I know.”

“Mom?” Jared’s concerned voice asked. The image entirely shattered his heart as he pulled his parents close. His parents looked much older than they were given the circumstances causing the emotional suffering.

Drawing in a deep breath Jared pulled back viewing his mom with the tears stained on her cheeks. In that moment he found strength inside of him to go through the day. They were waiting for Jensen to arrive before they set off. Jared didn’t trust Jensen to drive himself all the way.

“Hello?” Jensen called from downstairs confused as to why it was empty.

“We’re up here J!” Jared called already hearing the stairs creak as his best friend made his way up. Jensen visibly shook before tensing at the open door.

“We should go.” Jensen’s emotionally void voice said turning to head back down the stairs.

Sharing a look with his parents he followed his friend outside the house where he pulled him into a hug. He had never seen Jensen so broken in their friendship. They had lost so much so quick.

The short ride was pregnant with sadness. Jared and Jensen in one car while his parents and Megan were in the other. Jensen’s parents were meeting there with his siblings also. Gen wasn’t able to come because Tom was sick with the flu and Shep was recovering from it.

They walked into a large room where they were stunned to see Sergeant Michaels in front of them. He smiled sadly coming towards them.

“Can we have a word?” He questioned. Getting a small nod from Gerald they wall walked to a room with a long table.

“I’m Sergeant Elias Michaels. I was Y/N’s Sergeant if you weren’t aware with it.” The man stated a taking a seat at the head of the table.

“We know.” Jensen said tiredly, “Can we please get to the funeral.”

“That’s what I want to talk about.” Sgt Michaels sighed folding his hands. The room grew tense from the sheer amount of confusion.

“Excuse me?” Jared questioned confused.

“Roughly seven months ago we received intel that Private Y/N Ackles was still alive. Before you interrupt I would like to explain. It became personal for me to find her, the girl had a spark.”

“W-What?” Sharon said.

Every member of Y/Ns face paled at the news in complete shock and fury. Seven months still believing she was dead and they didn’t know? Jensen’s hands grasped the table with enough force to cause his knuckles to go bone white.

“Last month we found her location. She’s alive but currently at this moment it’s too sensitive to bring her to America.”

“SHE’S ALIVE!?” Jensen roared in complete rage. His breathing deepened to the point that he made his character look like a pussy.

“Sir. Sit down and we can talk about this further.”

“No. You had seven months to tell me. Do you know how much AGONY I’ve been in? I thought my wife was DEAD!” Jensen exclaimed feeling tears well up even more.

The room exploded with Jared dragging a fighting Jensen outside of the building. It didn’t matter how much rage everyone felt but he couldn’t take the chance of Jensen assaulting someone in the military

“Are you insane?!” Jared screamed shoving him in the large grounds.

“Are you not upset that your sister has been alive this entire time?!” Jensen retorted, “I CHEATED on her.”

“It was a date. You didn’t take her to bed and you didn’t kiss her.” Jared screamed back, “You didn’t cheat! We all thought she was dead.”

“BUT SHE WASN’T!” Jensen screamed at the top of his lungs as Jared pulled him into his arms, “How could they not tell us?”

“I don’t know.” Jared sighed.

                                              〰️〰️〰️

She gasped opening her eyes from the dream again. She dreamt of the the day she was kidnapped. She had tried to grab a child before the little boy was shot in front of her despite her attempts. The shock had kept her from returning fire. She didn’t know why it affected her so bad but she had thought about how it would be if that child was hers.

She suffered from dreams about the child blaming her and shooting her repeatedly, she had been here months maybe longer. She wasn’t the only one here either, the captors had come into the room holding on of their own. Each of the man dragging another one pleading for his life. He had turned on them and his fate was a new torture method to the American soldier.

She had caused two children to die. The one the day she was taken as a POW and now the blonde little girl in her arms no longer clutching her shirt. She had been been like that since last night definitely. The flashback hit harder than she expected.

“Kill him.” The taller of the captors said in a heavy accented voice.

“No.”

“Kill him or I kill them.” The man growled pointing the gun towards the corner where a mother and her children sat.

“W-what?”

“Mat’!” The young exclaimed. Y/N recognized it as Russian, how had these men gotten their hands on Russians?

“Shut up!” The taller man stalked over and slapped the young man in the face,” Fucking disgrace.”

“Kill him now or I make you kill them.” The tall one roughly said pointing towards the family.

Gulping you felt a small knife placed in your hand. You grasped it thinking you could get out but your attention was brought to see one of the men training their gun on you while the other pointed it at the four year old little girl crying heavily.

She sobbed as she raised the knife above the man and plunged it deep inside his neck hearing the gurgling. Praying the man to have a quick death she severed the jugular feeling the blood both physically and figuratively stain her body.

“Ah yes!” The men grinned before quickly releasing the trigger into the children, the mother rushed to the man but dropped with a scream. Her blank eyes being painted by the bleeding hole in her forehead.

“NO!” Y/N screamed sobbing deeply as she shook crawling to the children.

“Did you really think we’d leave them?” The man spat at her before stabbing a knife deep into her thigh.

A gut wrenching scream was forced from her throat at she felt the lacerations form on her body. The pain so intense she wished for death. She wished to switch places with the poor souls in the room with her.

“Papa! Mat’!” The older boy whispered as he took his last breath. His sister, bleeding from her stomach watched everything around her.

“Sweetie.” Y/N dragged herself across the dirty floor coughing from the recent torture, “Do you know english?”

“Mama’s teaching me.” The innocent girl said.

“Whats you’re name?” Y/N asked bringing the girl into her lap, “My name is Y/N. My Dad calls me dragonfly.”

“Nina.” The girl coughed leaving blood on her lips as the red spread on her already dirty dress, “Papa calls me Angel. He’s talks like you.”

“Can I call you Angel?” Y/N said brushing the blonde hair from the little girls head.

“Uh huh.” Nina replied shakily putting her hand against Y/N cheek, “You’re pretty.”

“Oh? Well you’re beyond beautiful.” Y/N sniffled watching as the girl lost more blood.

“Am I d-dying?”

“No. No. You’ll be fine! You’ll see your Papa and I’ll see my family.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” Y/N sobbed holding the girl tighter.

“Can you sing me a song?” Nina choked crying on the blood in her mouth, “I like the one about the little light. Papa sings it to me every night.”

“Of course.”

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.

Y/N stopped breathing heavily before continuing.

Gonna let my little light shine.
Light that shines is the light of love,
Hides the darkness from above,
Shines on me and it shines on you,

Eyes tightly shut her lips quivered as she listened to Nina’s breaking and weak voice join her.

Shows you what the power of love can do.
Shine my light both bright and clear,
Shine my light both far and near,
In every dark corner that I find,
Let my little light shine.

Little Nina took her last breath in Y/N arms. In that cold, musty and dirty room Y/N rocked the blood soaked little girl as she finished the song with great heartache. She didn’t care about herself, all she cared was the little girl that took her last breath in her arms who wasn’t even her daughter.

Part Four

@trustnobodyshootfirst @iamnotsaneatall @winchesterfanfiction @yesterday-was-tuesday @nyx-universe @soobi89 @writer-picks-the-music @trashling101 @deanwinchesterisamazing @tas898 @essie1876 @lovemesomepie85 @cityofsobbingfangirls @ourkittyus @barbidollash @oh-my-hecky-padalecki

anonymous asked:

Can have some headcannons of drunk Hanzo, McCree and Zarya how their s/o deals with them???

I almost feel sorry for the hangovers these three have, but they asked for them

Hanzo

- Congratulations on getting him to drink in public 

- Will be really calm at first, making you think he’s one of those quiet drunks

- But you’re wrong

- Once he hits a certain point he gets loses his reserve

- Like, completely loses the filter on his mouth and actions

- Does he think you’re pretty? He will you so. Does this guy deserve to be punched in the face? He will punch him

- Thankfully, he’s really responsive to you asking him to leave with you

- Will go home with you and can even walk pretty well on his own

- He compliments you every step of the way

- Will go to bed easily once you tell him too

- Regrets everything when he wakes up hungover

Mccree

- Ok, so he constantly with you

- And will 100% sing karaoke and dedicate the song to you

- It will probably be a cheesy country love song

- When you try and get him leave he’s going to be resistant, saying that the fun is just getting started

- Honestly, it’s almost impossible to get him to leave

- But there is a really way, once you figure it out

- Whisper something flirty in his ear, wink, and walk out the door

- He will follow like a lost puppy

- He also won’t be able to keep his hands off you

- Honestly, there’s not much you can do, he’s very stubborn when drunk

- Will probably fall asleep with his arms wrapped around you so you can’t go anywhere

- I don’t envy the headache he’ll have in the morning

Zarya

- Doesn’t get drunk very often, but when she does…

- She’s a very happy, very loud drunk

- Wants to show off how talented and good looking you are

- Will also probably try to arm wrestle half the people in the bar

- She will win every time

- It’s going to take a lot of coaxing to get her to leave

- The easiest thing would be to wait until she’s too drunk to argue with you when you suggest going home

- But this could take until 4 in the morning

- Your best chance would be to bribe her with her favorite food

- Once you two are home, she’ll try and dance with you

- You can use this to lead her to the bedroom, where you can try to get her on the bed (I suggest tackling her)

- Once you get her in bed you just have to cuddle with her and she’ll fall asleep quickly

- She’ll talk much more in her sleep when she’s drunk, mostly about you (and food)

Peggy’s granddaughter Steve Rogers x  Reader Part 3

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Featuring: The Avengers team

Word count: 2718 words

Warnings: swearing, alcohol and sex

Tags: none.

Summary: partying with the Avengers team has an interesting outcome for reader and steve.

Notes: tell me if you want to be tagged in the story :)

Originally posted by hidden-in-a-dreams-gifs

PART 1 /  PART 2


Definitely the night got interesting. When you finally left the pub at almost midnight you were already drunk. Well, everyone was. In order to get drunk, Steve and Thor had to drink that “special drink” the demi God had. You and Sarah wanted to take a sip from it to know what was so special but both of them refused. “A drink of that and you will have a hangover for three days”, Tony told the both of you and with that you dropped the idea. 


“Where to?” Clint asked with his arm around Bruce. 

“Let’s go dancing!” Sarah said jumping around which made you laugh. 

“Yes! That really sounds good!” You said taking your friend’s arm. “We know a really good place close”, you added. 

“Is it close?” Sarah laughed making you laugh as well.

“Nope”, you laughed tripping but managing not to fall as you both laughed.

“What about going to the tower? I have alcohol and music”, Tony suggested.

“That’s the best idea I heard today”, you said pointing at Tony.

“Better than the tequila shots idea?” Natasha smiled at you as she leaned against Bruce as well.

“That was definitely better”, you said after a few moments.

You had to take taxis to get to the Stark Tower since it was quite far from where you were. You didn’t know if it was random but you ended up sharing taxi with just Steve and you were completely alright with it. 

“Are you having fun?” Steve said with his arm around you.

“Oh yeah”, you smirked and looked at him. “What about you, Cap?” You asked. He looked down at you, first at your parted lips and then into your eyes.

“Oh yeah”, he whispered smirking as well.

“Damn you’re so hot” you mumbled before biting your lip. 

He smirked a bit more before leaning down, closing the space between your faces. Usually you wouldn’t do this. You weren’t the type of girl who just made out with a guy in the back of a taxi when you barely knew him and when you were drunk. But you were well aware of something special about him, something that made you want to be close to him. All the time. 

When your lips touched, he placed a hand on your head as you opened your mouth to deepen the kiss, smirking satisfied when a groan escaped his mouth. You placed a hand on his shirt and tugged on it, wanting it out of the way but luckily he wasn’t as drunk as you and took your hand, entwining your fingers, making you remember that you were actually in a taxi. 

“Damn (Y/N)”, he mumbled when you two pulled away.

“Yeah…” You chuckled opening your eyes to look at him.

Before you two could kiss again the car stopped. Steve threw some bills without even looking at them and dragged you out of the taxi. Everyone was already there waiting for you, still drunk obviously. When you were all together, Sarah looked at you raising an eyebrow which made you blush and looked away before you all walked into the building. 

“FRIDAY! Music, please!” Tony said when we stepped out of the elevator. Immediately, music started blasting through the speakers. 

“Want a drink?” Steve whispered in your ear making you shiver. 

“What about tequila shots?” You smiled at him.

Without letting your hand go, he dragged you to the bar where Tony was along with Sarah and Natasha. Steve sneaked into the bar and took two glasses along with the tequila bottle. He winked at you before signalling you to follow you. 

“What are you doing?” You asked following him through the place. He went up some stairs and stopped before sitting on the floor. “What?” You laughed but you understood when you looked around. 

From there you could see the New York skyline since it was a wall made of crystal. Amazed, you took a seat next to him while he filled up the glasses. 

“Isn’t this too soft for you?” You teased him taking the glass.

“I’m going to need Thor’s drink, I promise”, he smirked mirroring your actions. You winked at him and poured it down your throat at once. “Tough girl”, he said. 

“We didn’t come all this way to use glasses”, you said taking the bottle from his hand. He stared at you while you took a sip from the bottle. You coughed a little which made him laugh and took the bottle from you. “You know…I’m glad you were in the pub”, you said moving a little bit closer to him. 

Steve looked down at you, trying to control himself knowing how drunk you both were and how that could go if you two just let it go. You were somehow special and he could see that just by looking at you. And he wasn’t the kind of guy who has drunk sex with someone who could be a stranger. But damn, there really was something appealing in you. 

“Are you?” He said studying your features as you nodded. 

“Yes… And I’m glad we ran into each other this morning”, you added making him smile even more. 

“Me too”, he admitted as you took another sip from the bottle. 

“Are you?” You asked. He smiled and nodded. “Anything else?”

“I’m so glad you’re here right now”, he whispered finally rubbing your cheek with his hand. “And… I’m really having control issues right now.” He added looking down at your lips. 

“Maybe you should just let it go”, you whispered and bite your lip as you saw him licking his. He chuckled a little and leaned in to kiss you again. 

This time when you two kissed it was like the rest of the world disappeared. There was no music, no people in the room. Just the two of you. He tangled his hand in your hair, pulling you closer to him as he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, making it even better. 

“Get a room!” The two of you pulled away as you heard Tony’s voice and looked around. 

Sarah was just dancing around with Wanda and Natasha, Bruce had fallen asleep on the couch and Thor, Clint and Tony were at the bar looking at you two. Biting your lip you chuckled and looked at Steve who had been looking at you the whole time. 

“Sounds good to me”, he whispered, making your stomach twist. 

“Really good actually”, you agreed.

He took the bottle and got up, helping you up as well which made you feel even dizzier. He took a long sip from the bottle and gave it to you so you did the same, coughing again before being dragged by him towards the stairs, ignoring Clint’s whistles. You followed Steve through the aisles not even knowing where you were anymore. Finally he opened a door and dragged you inside, closing the door behind him as you walked in.

“Nice views”, you mumbled and turned around just to see that he had placed the tequila bottle on the floor and was already taking off his shirt. 

He was in front of you in less than a second, literally ripping your blouse and pulling you as close as possible. Your arms flew around his neck as you kissed. He managed to unbuckle his jeans and let them fall and do the same with yours in no time. 

“Steve”, you moaned when he moved his mouth to your neck. 

His hands were moving up and down your body, gripping your sides every time you moaned his name. When he placed his hands on your legs you jumped to wrap them around his waist so he moved to the bed, laying you down on it with a smirk. 

“You’re so beautiful it literally hurts”, he mumbled. You looked down and smirked as you saw what he meant. “It’s funny?” He smirked before attacking your neck again. 

Then he started moving down your body, taking off your bra in the process which made you gasp and moan the moment he took a nipple in his mouth. You gasped his name and placed a hand on his hair, gripping it which also caused him to moan against your skin. 

“Damn, you’re so ready for me babe”, he whispered when he pushed down your panties.

Your breath was heavy and fast as you looked down at him. You needed so much, like you had never needed anyone in your life. Somehow you managed you flip over so you were on top and you could kiss him again. 

“I need you”, you whispered looking at him. “Now”

He didn’t need anything else. He flipped both of you over again, making you gasp. You knew what was going to happen and you were ready for it. The sensible part of your brain, that tiny sober space, knew this was a huge mistake but your other part completely covered it. You needed Steve Rogers. Completely. You needed to be his and you needed him to be yours. 


Next morning you woke up due to the sun hitting your face and something moving behind you. At the beginning all you could feel was confusion, then you felt the headache that let you knew the awful hangover you would be facing that day, and finally the memories hit you like a truck. The pub, drinks and shots with Sarah, Steve, the Avengers, drinks, shots, the taxi, the Tower, a bottle of tequila and… You turned around and there he was. 

You tried not to freak out as you saw his bare chest but you did when you felt your own nudity under the sheets. That couldn’t have happened. You couldn’t have done that. You didn’t do such things! But the clothes all around the room, the bottle in the corner and simply waking up next to Steve let you knew that you actually did it. 

“Shit…” You whispered covering your face. 

You had to leave. As much as you didn’t want to, you couldn’t be there when he woke up. You couldn’t face that. Not right now. Carefully you got out of the bed and gathered all your clothes but when you saw your blouse ripped you blushed as you could felt Steve ripping it off you. With a sigh you took one of Steve’s t-shirts from his closet before walking into the bathroom. When you looked into the mirror you couldn’t believe the girl you saw in the mirror. It was you, for sure, but her cheeks were completely pink, her face was like renewed despite the make-up and the hair. She literally looking different even when she was the same person she was yesterday but suffering a hangover.

Shaking your head you quickly got dressed, tried to clean your face and to fix your hair. Finally you managed to look kind of decent so you took your heels and opened the door. Steve was completely asleep so silently you took your phone from the floor and sneaked out of the room, praying nobody saw you. For your surprise you found Sarah completely asleep on the couch, but luckily for you there was no one else around so you woke her up. 

“Sarah, we have to go”, you said when she opened her eyes. 

“What? Where are we?” She looked around sitting up slowly before realisation hit her. “Oh God!” She exclaimed and looked at you until she noticed your t-shirt. “You were with…?”

“Yes, can we leave? Please? We can talk on the way home but let’s go before someone else wakes up”, you hurried her looking around.

While she looked for her shoes you scribbled a note thanking everyone for last night but saying that you two had to leave since you were late for a meeting. That was just a lame excuse but you couldn’t come up with anything better. You left the note at the kitchen and met Sarah at the elevator. Once the doors closed you let out a shaky breath.

“Are you ok?” Sarah asked looking at you. 

“I don’t know…” You sighed shaking your head. 

“Was he awake?” She asked and you sighed shaking your head.

The most you thought about it, the worst you felt, but you still didn’t feel ready to face what you’ve done. 

“Hey… It’s ok”, she said squeezing your hand. 

You gave her a small smile just when the doors opened and you both walked out of the elevator and soon out of the tower. It was easy to find a taxi that took you home. The ride was silent since Sarah fell asleep again and you just couldn’t keep your mind quiet.Last night felt so good. His hands all over you, his lips on your skin and the sweet words he whispered in your ear. But it had been wrong. He was Steve. Somehow you felt like you had been disrespectful towards your grandma and that was something you could never forgive. 

When you got home and you had paid the drive, you woke Sarah up to leave the taxi and finally go to your apartment. 

“Want to have breakfast?” She asked as you two were going upstairs. 

“Yes, sure…your place?” You asked. 

“Sure”, she said.

You both lived on the 6th floor but her door was the A and yours was the B. You two literally lived across each other. You two walked into her apartment and went to the kitchen still in silence. 

“(Y/N) it’s ok.” Sarah finally said when you both were having breakfast. 

“It’s not, Sarah…it shouldn’t have happened”, you said looking at the coffee you had in front of you. 

“But it did! And now you can’t change it”, she said with a shrug. “Plus, don’t be offended, but you didn’t look too uncomfortable with him, to be honest”, she pointed out.

Of course not. He had made you feel alive with every kiss, he had made you shiver with every touch and feel special with every look. You couldn’t deny it but you didn’t have to say it out loud.

“I liked it, so what? I’ve just met him”, you said with a frown.

“So what? You don’t have to marry him just because you had sex with him”, she said.

“It’s not the sex Sarah! It how it felt!” You finally exclaimed looking up at her. “I’ve just met the guy and I swear I’ve never felt so safe, happy and free with anybody else in my entire life. And he’s a fucking Avenger for fuck’s sake!” You just couldn’t keep it in anymore. “He is 95 years old and you know why I know that? Because he was my grandmother’s first love, Sarah! What the fuck am I doing falling for him huh? Damn it!” You got up with your hands on your face.

Sarah just looked at you speechless which was something that didn’t happen every day. She used to have an answer or a comment for everything but you definitely caught her off guard.

“Wow…” She finally said still looking at you. “I mean… Look…” She frowned and got up to walk closer to you. “(Y/N) I never met Peggy, you know that, but… She wanted you to move on right? Just like she would want with Steve. She would want both of you to be happy, right?” She said.

“Yes…” You said rubbing the ring she gave you. “But… why does it feel wrong?” You asked looking at your friend.

“Because that’s who you are. It’s not normal in you to have sex with someone like you did with Steve. It’s not normal that you sneak out in the morning.” She said smiling at you. “But there he comes and changes all your schedules in just one day”, she added making you smile a little. “It’s awesome if you ask me”, she said making you laugh. “Will you talk to him?” She asked.

You looked at her and then sat back down taking the mug of coffee in your hands, thinking about it. You knew you should, but you also knew you weren’t ready. One thing was admitting certain things to your best friend but talking to him was like a different world.

“I can’t”, you finally admitted with a sigh.

Just A Decoration

Summary: You and Michael have your first huge fight and the person you thought would be the solution turns out to make the problem even worse. But what’s a girl to do when her knight in shining armor never comes?

A/N:  Approx. 2.4k words. This imagine has a little bit of violence in it and slight vulgarity. Thanks for reading, thanks to the anon who requested it awhile back, and I hope you enjoy! But I’m warning you there’s lots of angst ahead. (also can i get a what what for this pic? like damn son)
-Bronte

___

The house was quiet tonight without him here. In the recent weeks this is how it always was whenever he was gone. You should be used to it by now, given how often he had to be away from you while he worked, but while he was home–and supposed to be here with you– it made your shared home feel much more empty than usual. He had left around six in the evening, leaving with a quick kiss goodbye and a promise that he would be home by eight to help you with the Christmas decorations.

But now it was almost midnight and the Christmas lights you had hung by yourself looked even dimmer than they did two hours ago. You knew he liked to hang out with his friends sometimes but you just wished that maybe for once he would want to be with you as much as he always wanted to be with them. You missed back when it was simpler and the band hadn’t really gotten big and he didn’t have as many people vying for his attention who always took precedence over you. Back when you and he could marathon a whole season of your favorite shows in one sitting and play videogames until the sun came back up. You hated being in this house without him and you just wished he could see that.

The sound of a key turning in your lock jolted you from your dazed thoughts. Michael came sprawling into the room, his eyes glassy and a lazy smile on his face.

“Hey baby.” His voice was raspy and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his obviously drug induced state.  

“Do you know what time it is Michael?” You spoke flatly, standing up off the couch and crossing your arms.

“Time for you to get a watch babe.” Michael giggled, stumbling through the foyer and into the kitchen. He opened the fridge, rummaging through the shelves until he pulled out a bottle of bud light.  

“Oh no I don’t think so. You’ve had enough tonight Michael.” You snatched the bottle from his hand, causing him to raise an annoyed eyebrow. Michael tried to grab it back from you, but in his stupor he was too slow.

“C’mon babe don’t be such a killjoy.”

“Ha, right I’m the killjoy…” You muttered under your breath. “You said you’d be home by eight.” You tried to appear firm, but the truth was you weren’t all that mad. You were just hurt that he hadn’t come home to help you with the one holiday tradition that you loved doing with him more than anything. He knew how important this was to you, but he still chose to blow you off and party instead.

“I just had stuff to do babe, you know how it goes with the guys.” He shrugged, reaching again for his beer only this time you let him take it.

“Michael we were supposed to put the decorations up tonight.” You tried not the let the tears fall, though your voice cracked at the end of your sentence. You felt like a five year old girl that didn’t get what she wanted but you couldn’t help it if you were disappointed. You wanted him there and he had let you down. It was simple as that.

“Well you did a great job babe. You didn’t even need me!’ He laughed, taking a swig from the bottle.

You were quiet for a few minutes as Michael continued raiding the fridge for snacks to cure his obvious munchies, dirtying the kitchen you had already cleaned earlier in the evening while you were waiting for him, hoping that he would keep his promise to you. But he hadn’t.

Slowly you picked up the star that was supposed to go on top of the tree you had picked out, a single tear falling from your eye as you slid it across the counter towards your oblivious boyfriend.

“I couldn’t reach the top of the tree by myself. Maybe you can help me put it up tomorrow.” Your voice sounded broken, but with all the white noise ringing in Michael’s ears from the pounding bass of the club he had just been at, he couldn’t detect a thing.

“Yeah, whatever babe.” He spoke nonchalantly, but it broke your heart all the same.

This wasn’t love anymore. Maybe it used to be, and of course you would hold on to those memories forever, but right now as you stood with your heart in tatters and your cross faded boyfriend sat eating pretzels on the couch you realized that maybe that’s all this relationship was anymore: happy memories that you just couldn’t recreate anymore.

You trudged up the stairs, exhausted from staying up and waiting for your boyfriend to come home. Quietly, you slipped into bed although this time the large bed felt a little smaller, even without him in it.

___

You woke with Michael’s tattooed arm wrapped firmly around your waist. Supposedly, sometime between the time you cried yourself to sleep and this morning he had crawled into bed with you, but unlike usual you hadn’t even noticed. He was still asleep, soft snores spilling from his mouth which at one time you would’ve found adorable, but right now you were still pissed. Overnight the hurt you had felt had turned into anger and you were ready to unleash it all and just let him have it. You threw his arm off you, which surprisingly didn’t even cause him to stir.

You began throwing some of your things into a suitcase, careful to exclude the things that were obviously Michael’s that you often loved to wear, before hauling it all downstairs. Now you just needed somewhere to go. You pulled out your phone, dialing the number of the boy who had always there for you when Michael wasn’t. It rang three times before the voice of your best friend sounded in a grunt that you assumed meant hello.

“Hey Kev.”

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?” He sounded like he had just woken up and he probably had seeing as though it was only eight in the morning.

“I was wondering if I could crash at your place for a few days.”

“Uh oh, trouble in paradise?”

“Yeah you could say that. Can you come pick me up.”

“Sure thing babe, I’m on my way.”

“Thanks Kevin.” You sighed before hanging up. You decided to leave a note for Michael, so that he would know you had deliberately left and maybe he would actually figure out that something was wrong.

I’m going to be staying at a friend’s for awhile. I’m tired of coming in last with you Michael and I’m starting to see that maybe I deserve more than that. Enjoy the Christmas decorations and try not to drink too much.

You signed your name before you rummaged through the kitchen for some aspirin and left it next to the note with a glass of water. You were angry, but you knew he would be needing the pain relievers this morning and he usually relied on you for them whenever he came home after hours. Come to think of it, he relied on you for a lot of things. Maybe it was high time he learned to take care of himself.

Your phone buzzed, signaling that Kevin was here to pick you up. You gathered your things, taking one last look at the beautifully decorated house before stepping out the door and slamming it behind you.

___

The sound of the door shaking in its frame jerked Michael out of his sleep. His head was killing him and his body ached but it didn’t take him long to realize you weren’t in bed snuggled up next to him. He got out of bed, sweatpants hanging low on his hips, and trudged downstairs. The first thing he saw was the glass of water. Of course, you were always taking care of him. He loved you so much and when you did little things like this it only made him love you more. He took the aspirin that you had also kindly left out for him, taking it with the water in a single swig. As he placed the glass back down on the counter, a piece of paper sitting just near caught his eye.

He read it over once, barely able to comprehend it with his blurry hangover vision. But the three words that made his breath hitch in his throat and his legs turn to jelly were three words he never, ever wanted to ever cross your mind.

I deserve more.

It was his biggest fear come to life. He knew that you were way out of his league and that you deserved a million times better than him, but he didn’t ever want you to actually realize that. If you ever left him he didn’t know how he would ever be okay. You were his world and without you he would be an empty shell of a man.

He read the letter over and over again, hoping that somehow this was a sick joke and you would pop out of the closet and kiss him and tell him that you loved him and would never dream of leaving him. He ran his fingers through his hair, while his other hand held him upright against the counter, not trusting his legs to support him. This couldn’t be happening, you could not be leaving him. Michael thought he was about to pass out before the honk of a horn caught his attention and he moved to the window that overlooked the street. What he saw made him sick. You were standing next to the car, a tall, tanned, blonde haired guy loading your suitcase into his truck before turning and pulling you into his arms for a hug that lasted way too long for Michael’s liking. Grabbing a sweatshirt, Michael ran out of the house in pursuit, ready to throttle the man that dare to hold you like that.

“Y/N!” He yelled, running towards you. The sound of his voice caused you to jump out of Kevin’s arms. “What the hell are you doing?” He demanded, the feeling of despair replaced by angry jealousy at the sight of you in another man’s arms.

Kevin pulled you behind him protectively, stepping up to Michael, ready to defend you if needed. But the sight of him standing over you like that as if you were actually his to protect only fueled Michael’s anger.

“You have two seconds to step the hell away from her mate.” Michael growled, his hands balling into fists.

“Listen man, no hard feelings she just needs to be away from here right now.” Kevin spoke calmly.

“You don’t get to decide what she wants.”

“Actually,” Kevin took the opportunity to slide his hand into yours. “She called me and asked me to pick her up so I think I do…mate.”

At the sight of his hand holding yours, Michael lost it. He threw a punch, hitting Kevin square in the jaw and sending him sprawling to the floor. Because his hand had been holding yours, he brought you tumbling down with him where you landed hard, scraping your arm, the pain shooting up your body. Reaching up to inspect the damage you felt sticky, warm blood running down the side of your arm. Blood had always made you woozy and at the sight of the redness your head began to spin.

“Oh my God, Y/N I’m so sorry.” Michael’s voice sounded above you, laced with hurt. He reached down to try and help you up, but Kevin was faster.

“Hey, back up man. You’ve done enough.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do. She’s my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, well maybe not for too much longer.” Kevin seethed. He was almost exactly the same height as Michael, but his chest was a little more broad and his arms just a bit bigger. You could practically smell the testosterone as they stared each other down, both trying to be the man they thought you needed right now. But you were still on the floor and practically bleeding out so obviously neither of them were doing a very good job, so you pushed yourself off the ground by yourself , holding onto your bleeding arm.

As you got up, Michael delivered a hard shove to Kevin’s chest. “What the hell are you trying to say mate?”

“I think you know.”

“What, are you in love with her or something?” Michael sneered and Kevin was silent. “Oh my God you are. Wow, that’s rich. Sorry but she has a boyfriend mate.” Michael laughed, suddenly reaching out to take your hand.

“Michael stop.” You tried to take your hand back, but his grip was iron and he only ignored you.

“She’ll never be yours. She’s too busy letting me fuck her every single night to ever think about you.”

“Michael!” You yelled, cheeks heating up at his very intimate reveal.

“Don’t act like it’s not true baby. You love it when I fuck you so hard that the bed shakes. You wouldn’t know though would you mate? And you never will. Never going to know how her lips feel around your cock or how good her pussy feels.” He smirked, his eyes not leaving Kevin, the other boy unable to meet your eyes

“Michael that’s enough!” You yanked your hand from his. “How dare you say that?! For fucks sake you’ve ruined everything! You ruined any time I had with you the entire time you’ve been home, you ruined my favorite Christmas tradition so you could go get drunk or high or whatever you were doing last night, you just ruined my opinion of you by being a fucking dick both to me and to Kev, and now you’ve ruined this relationship!” You screamed in his face, his eyes widening as he took in your words.

“Baby you don’t mean that.”

“I do. You ruined us Michael because I can’t stand how you’ve been acting and I can’t take you not being here anymore.”

“Y/N I’m sorry! I promise I’ll put you first from now on, please!” He begged, taking your hand gently in his again, his eyes looking like a lost puppy’s. If you hadn’t been so sad and angry, you probably would’ve done anything to make him feel better. But you were done putting his needs so far before you own.

“I never wanted you to put me first Michael. You’ve got so much to do and so many people to please I understand that you can’t always make time for me all the times I want you to, but I did expect you to at least try and make a little time for me. You act like you don’t even want me! Like I’m just a pretty little decoration for you to come home to after you’re done living your rockstar life, but I deserve more than that. I deserve at least a little bit of your attention Michael. But clearly you’re not capable of that right now.” You tried to hold in your sobs, but a few stray tears began leaking from the corners of your eyes, breaking Michael’s heart even more.

“No, I can do it! We can spend all the time you want together! I promise just please don’t leave me.”

“I’m sorry Michael but I’m not going to be an obligation. I just can’t do this anymore.” You cried before turning away from him and getting into Kevin’s truck, Kevin following closely behind before he started the car and drove you away from the house that had so many memories in it. You could hear Michael screaming your name and when you looked into the rearview mirror you saw him on his knees in the middle of the street, clutching the roots of his bright red hair.

“Are you okay?” Kevin whispered, glancing over at you from the driver’s seat.

“I will be.”

___

Part Two

Masterlist

Women by Charles Bukowski

How-life writer and unrepentant alcoholic Henry Chinaski was born to survive. After decades of slacking off at low-paying dead-end jobs, blowing his cash on booze and women, and scrimping by in flea-bitten apartments, Chinaski sees his poetic star rising at last. Now, at fifty, he is reveling in his sudden rock-star life, running three hundred hangovers a year, and maintaining a sex life that would cripple Casanova.

With all of Bukowski’s trademark humor and gritty, dark honesty, this 1978 follow-up to Post Office and Factotum is an uncompromising account of life on the edge.