hangout show

How much independence?

(November 2011)

(August 2013)

In my opinion, when One Direction (usually Liam) have spoken about control, they aren’t talking about public actions, promotional strategies, and publicity. They are speaking about artistic control and the creative process—songwriting, production—their sound. Did they have more and more writing and involvement with each of their albums? Yes. And it’s extremely important to them. They didn’t get to choose their singles, though. (Consider, too, did they choose their merch? Were they eager to release yet anotherwas it the fourth??—perfume? Or a 1D make-up line? No.)

30 October 2012

November 2012 (no link)

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i didn’t expect to come out of leverage with so many emotions about the fucking brewpub??? what has this show DONE to me

but ok. like. the brewpub doesn’t turn a profit, right. it is actively losing money all of the time, but it doesn’t matter? because of their fucking alternative revenue stream, they don’t NEED to make a profit, they literally own this brewpub for the fun of it

so, like. they COULD make it turn a profit but: eliot & hardison, working-class boys TM, they are absolutely going to:

  • make everything on the menu $0.50 less than it costs to make at least, because affordable food is important
  • just fucking give away shit for free. oh you can’t pay for this food? that’s fine don’t worry about it have it anyway, also would you like a coffee? some beer?
  • get everything locally, pay a LOT for it (let’s take a moment for all of the feelings eliot ‘grew up in a farming town’ spencer 100% has about corporations paying farmers the bare fucking minimum they can get away with. so many feelings, he goes on long & impassioned rants whenever this comes up, my bitter socialist son)
  • pay all of their staff like three times minimum wage at the least
  • all of the staff have AMAZING insurance & they always pay out if they need to
  • if any of the staff mention anything health related hardison will appear & offer to pay for it
  • if any of the CUSTOMERS mention anything health related hardison will appear & offer to pay for it
  • (i REFUSE to accept that hardison doesn’t tip, that is WRONG, the show is WRONG & i will NOT allow it, hardison tips. hardison’s elder siblings were waitstaff who depended on tips to make rent, hardison tips generously. hardison has all this money & he’s not even using most of it so he gives it away All Of The Time)

like. LIKE. the brewpub is basically a fucking nonprofit charity, they run jobs to take down capitalist scum & then come home to their aggressively socialist brewpub, this is just. this is fact. you cannot convince me this isn’t true

BTS as Your Best Friend


Super chill, you can usually find the two of you trying to be quiet making cookies at 4 am. Most of the time you’re just playing mario kart in your pajamas but occasionally you go on a pinterest binge and find yourself 3 days later surrounded by cut-out shirts and glitter frames. Super sassy and doesn’t take your shit, especially when it comes to any attempts to tease him.

Originally posted by the8-carat


Also a chill friendship. Most of you and Yoongi’s hangouts would be showing each other new music and dicking around in garage band. Occasionally the two of you would get in one of those super hyper moods and create something ridiculous, resulting in a folder hidden in the depths of his computer that contains all the horribly embarrassing songs and music videos you created together. He’d never admit it but when he misses you he stays up and watches them.

Originally posted by cyyphr


Energy for daaaayyyyyyyyssssss. You two would always be doing something real weird, whether its trying to play darts with your toes or seeing who can walk everywhere as ridiculously as possible for as long as possible without breaking first. Always trying to make you laugh, usually doing cringey-cute aegyo. He’d be the absolute best at cheering you up tho cause he knows what it’s like to feel down and have self doubts. 

Originally posted by syubto


This boy would be the most supportive best friend omg. Anytime you were feeling like you weren’t good enough, or you couldn’t do it anymore, Namjoon would be there with words of encouragement to help you out. Your friendship would consist of telling each other weird facts you learned and seeing who could dance the worst. You’d both just be super embarrassed all the time cause ya know at least one of you is doing something weird in public at all times.

Originally posted by rapnamu


A sweet friendship. Lots of skinship, basically anytime you guys were just chilling at home you’d be cuddling in big blankets. You’d do a lot of deep talking, asking each other about the future and the world. Weirdly meme-y? You’d catch him trying out different ways to smirk in the mirror and he’d get soooooo embarrassed until he remembered about the time he caught you trying to learn to twerk.

Originally posted by nnochu


Animal-loving friends. The two of you bonded over your shared reaction of uncontainable glee when encountering literally any type of animal. You’d promise each other before you went out anywhere to try and reign the other in, but as soon as you came across the first puppy it was a lost cause and the next 20 minutes were spent bothering the dog and its owner. Never on time for anything. You’re both constantly chastised by the other boys for not paying attention to your surroundings and getting in trouble cause you’re too busy debating stuff like the pros and cons of leather socks.

Originally posted by cmtae


Meme friends all the way. When you’re not trying to make a competition out of literally everything, the two of you are doing dumb dances and seeing who can make the dumbest face. You snapchat each other constantly, usually along the lines of this:

“Hey dummy, this reminded me of you”

“Jungkook you sent me a picture of lasagna”

“Yeah, get it, cause you’re cheesy”

Originally posted by softykook

Podcasts for your functions!

In honor of #trypod, here are the podcasts I listen to, semi-arbitrarily assigned to functions! But seriously check any of them out.

Also I tend to go for either surreal radio-show style fiction, or people just joking about dumb stuff.

Si: Sawbones. I recommended this for I think INTPs a while ago, but I think any Si users (…and non-Si users since ISTP sister is a fan) will appreciate it. It’s about all the ridiculous and sometimes horrifying things that people have done in the name of medicine, from trepanation to patent medicines. I’ve also appreciated the handful of more serious episodes: there was one about the hosts’ daughter’s birth, and more recently a few about immigration medical requirements and health insurance. But mostly it’s informative, historical, and funny.

Ne: Crossover Appeal. It’s a podcast about fandom, namely taking two things and mashing them up, but usually things that don’t usually get mashed up (read: no superwholock to be found). I don’t listen to every episode because I frequently find I’ve only read/watched one of the works, but I’ve loved the HP&HP (Harry Potter and Lovecraft) Halloween special, the Yay Hamlet Hamilton/Hamlet one, and the Orphan Black/Phryne Fisher episode for badass ladies. And the fact that it’s every other week and you can skip around probably works well for Ne users.

Ni: The Beef and Dairy Network. Deeply surreal, with that dark and dry humor that is often characteristic of Ni users. There’s a consistent underlying storyline/conspiracy, and a bit of political sarcasm in the mix, so I think that will also work for Ni users who appreciate the payoff of sticking with a serial story with an unusual format, that sometimes draws from reality but twists it.

Se: My Brother, My Brother, and Me. This one is pretty famous (Justin, the oldest brother, is also a Sawbones host and I found MBMBAM through Sawbones), and it’s characterized by a combination of terrible advice and weird riffing and tangents. I think Se users will particularly appreciate the combination of rapid-fire switches in the conversation along with concrete yet impractical suggestions and goofy humor.

Ti: Within the Wires or Alice Isn’t Dead. Both of these are Welcome to Nightvale shows, but with a smaller self-contained story that unfolds slowly, allowing you to try and deduce what will happen next (and probably often fail). I think they both fall well along the Ti-Fe spectrum, though honestly what do I know. Within the Wires in particular seems to be a good Ti-Fe show and is in my opinion the strongest (Orbiting Human Circus wasn’t my favorite though I did enjoy it overall).

Fe: This American Life. A classic, not only because it’s something people have been listening to forever and can all share, but also because of its dedication to telling the stories of every kind of person and finding the commonalities between these different stories. I don’t always listen to it (it’s a lot; also sometimes it will lead to you crying in your car and now that I don’t have a car I’d really rather not burst into tears on the subway) but I do love it and thank it for having this message of how we’re all the same on some level.

Fi: Pop Rocket. It’s about pop culture, and it’s a great hangout show - the hosts are a diverse group and are all close with each other. They focus on a single topic each episode usually but what impresses me is how great they are at letting each host talk about pop culture from their own perspective and relate it to their personal experience in a way that is effective and interesting.

Te: She’s Running. This is really new (only 2 episodes) and it’s interviews with women who are running for office at any level (city, state, federal) in the U.S. . It is not technically partisan though it’s obviously got a very pro-women message and the two interviewees so far are affiliated with the Democratic party. It has a message of getting out the vote for these candidates, but also provides some really great insight into the work involved in running a campaign, even a small one.

Are you being paid by WTNV and Max Fun?

No, I wish.

I’m looking for more/None of these are for me, but I’d love other podcast recs!

Thanks! Other recommendations include:

I figure since this is on Tumblr you’re all sick of Welcome to Nightvale but I do listen to it and enjoy it. It does have the drawback of being both serialized and pretty far into that serial - you’ll want to go back to the beginning and that will take a while. 

Speaking of - I never listened to season 2, but season 1 of Serial, about a young man jailed for his sometimes-girlfriend’s murder in the Baltimore area that might have been due to a combination of Islamophobia, the fragility of memory, and the fact that in the early 2000s, we didn’t really understand cell phones, was rightfully a hit. Listen if you like true crime or even if you don’t (I usually don’t).

I stopped listening to Aisha Tyler’s Girl on Guy regularly because I lost interest whenever the celebrity wasn’t someone I knew about and also because it’s really long and no longer worked well with my listening habits after I moved from a regular job-having car owner to a grad student who depends on NYC public transit and has an irregular schedule. However, Aisha Tyler is hilarious and a great, empathetic interviewer (I’m pretty sure she’s an ESTP with good Fe from the impression I have) and I recommend it if you’re into more long-form interview style listening. 

I also stopped listening to Professor Blastoff which features Tig Notaro,  Kyle Dunnigan and David Huntsberger. A large portion of that is because I found Kyle Dunnigan kind of annoying (which is mostly a clash of senses of humor I think - don’t take my word for this since it’s definitely a personal taste thing). It’s also really long (usually about 90 minutes if I recall correctly) so it similarly doesn’t work that well with my listening, but if you do a lot of driving or can listen to podcasts while you work, check it out! I did listen for some time, especially around when Tig Notaro was just out of her year of terrible things and getting a lot of fame for that. It ended in mid-2015 due to scheduling conflicts, but there’s a big archive if you’re just looking for something to listen to that isn’t strictly up to date.

I mostly listen to comedy, pop-culture, and story/fiction podcasts because I am a very visual learner so any more technical/educational podcasts tend to not work for me - I spend the whole time wishing I was just reading an article or watching a video. However, if you’re more an auditory learner, I did enjoy Freakonomics - I just felt like I forgot everything immediately and would rather reread the book. There are some great resources online specifically for finding educational podcasts so if that’s your interest, have at it!

Scared To Love || Calum Hood

loving all the love xx <3

I M A G I N E 

“How does this look, Cal?” You come from your room to show Calum the cute tank top you bought recently. You attempted to pose like a model, showing off the shirt as fabulously as you could. The two of you were staying in Calum’s suite, with Calum relaxing on the couch. He turns to look at you and gives you a cheeky smile. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Calum says as he puts his phone down to go to you. “You I mean,” Calum corrects as he gets in front of you to stare happily at you. “The shirt is cool.” 

“Smooth,” you comment with a grin before going to the couch. Calum trails you, going back to his seat as you sit right next to him. Picking up the remote, you turn on the TV and put on Friends. As you did, Calum gently took your head and leaned it on his shoulder. You smiled happily at the gesture and flushed, finding yourself to cuddle up against him. 

“Getting cozy, are we?” Calum comments, amused at your motions. You giggled, poking his leg lightly. Finding comfort, you wrap your arms around Calums and close your eyes. Although you were feeling so happy snuggling against the boy you love, you felt a jolt of pain from knowing that this isn’t the reality of things. 

“I really like this episode,” you whispered, listening to the words being spoken from the screen.  You felt as Calum placed his hand on one of your legs and rubbed soft circles on it with his index finger. It was always the small things that made you feel so elated. 

“Eh, it’s okay,” Calum says jokingly. He then pecks your head with his soft, plump lips, making your cheeks tint just a darker hue of red. “But I prefer staring at you for hours. I’d never get bored of that beautiful face.” Your stomach became a habitat for butterflies as you felt them flutter. He was always able to make these things happen to you with mere words. And sometimes, you weren’t sure if he even understood that– even a small shred of it. 

“I love you,” you accidentally allow to slip, soon feeling like a huge idiot. You did say it every so often, but you knew you had to stop sooner or later. Those words did a good deal to Calum that didn’t make him happy. It even brought pain to you to say those words, even when they were said intentionally. “I-I’m sorry, Calum!” You immediately say, flushing a bit. But you felt Calum slip his arm out of your hold and moved away from you. 

“You know how I feel about that, Y/N…” Calum mumbled, refusing to stare at you. Sadness flooded him and he found himself going cold and cynical over the feeling. And he knows it isn’t your fault– he just can’t seem to handle it. And you knew why, you always knew why. And he knew it, too, and couldn’t deny it. 

Calum was scared to love. 

It was no mystery to the both of you. Calum feared loving another person in that sense. You didn’t necessarily know, but Calum was afraid of getting hurt and causing the other to hurt. And in regards of you, he refuses to believe that he loves you. He finds you as a wondrous entity, but he can’t possibly love you. He doesn’t think so, anyways. 

“You know what, Calum?” You said offensively after Calum moved away from you. “I’m sick of this– all of this! I hate feeling this way with you just playing around with it until you hear them!” 

“What the fuck are you on about?” Calum asks, acting completely oblivious to the situation. You rise from the couch and grab your duffel bag with your things from the closet. You then go to the bathroom to grab all your hygiene items as Calum follows. He stands at the door, looking at you with a confused face. “Y/N, what the fuck are you doing?” You ignore him as you drop your toothbrush into your bag. 

“Y/N, I’m serious, what is this?” Calum gestures to your packing. You rolled your eyes as you grabbed your dirty clothing you kept in the bathroom hamper. As Calum smacked you with these questions, you found your emotions threaten you with their release. Never had you wanted Calum or any of the boys to know how you truly felt or see you cry. You weren’t one who was fond of the expression of emotion. 

“Y/N, please cut it out and talk to me!” Calum roared as you passed by him and went for the door. You stopped, though, as your hand hung on the golden handle. You took a breath, finding it so loud in your ear as the two of you entered a heart-breaking silence. Putting the bag down, you go to Calum and look into his eyes– those chocolate eyes that always pulled you in with ease. 

“Why are you so scared to love?” You asked, your voice so quiet and frail, it made you mentally scold yourself. But you had to know. You had to know why Calum was so fearful to love you. Not to sound cocky, but you thought that you were always so nice and patient with Calum. The two of you spent most of your days together when there were no performances or group hangouts. Even then, Calum would only stare at you during performances and only talk to you during hangouts. He was so close all the time but extremely far away at the same time. 

“I’m not scared to love, Y/N!” Calum strained his voice, his lie yelling at you so loudly and with sorrow. Calum knew he was lying, but he couldn’t help it. He was almost completely set in believing the lie he’s created. 

“Then what is it?” You yell, frustration filling your body. Your body starts to shake with your bottom lip quivering. Your emotions were practically pleading to come out. Your eyes scanned Calums, searching for any hint of emotion. But he didn’t dare falter or show anything other than anger. You look harder to see his eyes remain bland, with no sparkle whatsoever. You widened your eyes at the burning reality. “You don’t love me, do you?” You asked quietly, still seeing no change in his position. 

With the silence coming back to the room, you turn around and grab your bag. You hand lands back on the handle as you open the hotel door and leave the room. You hear Calum call your name as he chases after you. But you couldn’t turn back. Not to this. 

“Y/N, of course I love you!” Calum shouts, making you scoff. “We’re best friends, Y/N!” That made your heart sink, making you stop to allow that to get to you. He only loves you as a friend because he just doesn’t love you in the way you want him to. So you turn around and look him straight in the eyes. The ones you fell in love with long ago. 

“Then I’m done with you leading me on to end up in a constant cycle of pain and heartbreak!” You scream at him, releasing everything you’ve got. “Telling me I’m gorgeous and touching me in a loving way and saying all these words that take a big toll on me! I can’t deal with that because I see you now– I see what you are!”

“What the fuck am I then, Y/N?” Calum asks. “Tell me!”

“You’re just a coward who wants to be loved!” You yell. “You just want to be the center of everything and be the most adored by the people you choose! And that’s fucking awful, Calum!” With that, you turn around, grab the bag and find yourself at Ashton’s door. “We shouldn’t be around each other for a bit…” you say quietly before Ashton let’s you in and closes the door. 

Calum was left alone, feeling completely defeated and hopeless. 

It’s been a month since you’ve talked to Calum. You’ve spent your days in Ashtons suite, just checking out Calum’s twitter or texting the other boys. Your life was now a series of skipped hangouts and performances. Although you were always rooting for the boys, you weren’t really sure how Calum was feeling. It was an awful feeling and you hated it so much. 

“Y/N, we’re off to grab a drink with Mali,” Ashton said as he picked up a fedora to plop on his head. “You should come with us, if you’d like. She has been wanting to see you for a while now.”

“I’ll just text her later or something,” you say quietly. “I’ll see you later.” Before Ashton left, he went over to you on the couch and kissed you head. A punch of memories came to you of Calum, making you lightly flinch. But realizing it was just Ashton, you smiled. 

“You’ll need to come out at some point,” Ashton whispers as he goes to the door and opens it. Once it shut closed, you found yourself crying for a good bit. But crying exhausts you and you find yourself falling in a deep slumber. 

As you slept, Ashton met with the rest of the boys downstairs at the Uber. When he came, Calum looked around him in search of you. But as usual, Ashton came alone and it irritated Calum quite a bit. He thought you were overreacting as you were turning down hangouts and skipping out shows. 

“She seriously is never coming out of your suite, is she?” Calum groaned, rolling his eyes at Ashton. Ashton gave him a sheepish shrug before entering the Uber first. Luke calls shotgun as Ashton gets a window seat and Calum gets the other, having Michael in between the two. As the Uber began to drive, Calum released a bit of his agitation. “Y/N should might as well leave the damn tour.”

“What do you mean, mate?” Luke asked, turned around to face the rest of the boys. 

“She’s not leaving Ashton’s suite at all because she’s avoiding me!” Calum exclaims. “She’s being a child with all this ignoring! And in all honesty, it’s bothering me!” 

“You think we’re ecstatic about it?” Michael asks with a frown. “I miss her hanging around! But you managed to hurt her feelings!” Michael exclaims as he nudges Calum. 

“Me? I didn’t do anything!” Calum puts on his argument tone, making Ashton sigh in annoyance. 

“You sorta led her on, Calum,” Ashton said simply as he continued to look out the window. “She didn’t tell me much; we all saw what you were doing. Always calling her gorgeous and keeping her away from other boys who stare. You’re possessive to someone who isn’t yours.”

“I was just being friendly– that is not leading someone on!” Calum said, making the other 3 boys sigh in frustration. Calum still didn’t get it and it was making all the boys want to explode. But, they decide to drop it as they make it to the bar. Leaving the Uber and entering the bar, they immediately found Mali with a bartender, ordering a drink. 

“Mali!” Calum cheers, happy to see his older sister. 

“Cally!” Mali cheers back, leaving the bar to go and hug Calum. “There’s my other boys,” Mali says happily as she hugs the rest of the boys. As she leads them to the bar and allows them to take their seats, her eyes wander the group. “Where’s Y/N?” Mali asked, a small pout appearing. Calum flinched at your name and ordered a beer. 

“She’s at the hotel,” Luke says with a shrug. “Some conflict has come up between her and Calum.”

“Oh?” Mali asks in shock, having it move towards anger within seconds as she stares at Calum. Calum flushes, refusing to meet his sisters eye as her stare begins to burn him. 

“Y/N is in love with Calum, and Calum knew it and pretty much used it,” Michael said with a sigh as he swallows his shot whole. “And basically he has led her on to the point where she exploded and has hidden in Ashton’s suite ever since.”

“She thought he was in love with her,” Ashton begins, as he knew the entire thing. “But overtime, she realized that he was too afraid to love and is trying to shake off her feelings for him.”

“I am not afraid to love!” Calum yells abruptly as he hits his fist on the bar counter. “Anyways, why the fuck did she stay with you? Does she like you or something?”

“I just told you that she’s trying to shake off her feelings for you,” Ashton said in frustration as he orders himself a Shirley Temple. “Christ, Calum, you’re even jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!” Calum barked at Ashton, having Ashton shrug before taking a sip of his newly-made drink. “I just want to know why she chose you. She could’ve been with Michael or Luke or something. She must like you!”

“If the scenario was different with either me or Michael,” Luke starts. “You would be asking the same question right now. You’re so jealous!” 

“I am not jealous!” Calum explodes at Luke as Calum turns desperately to Mali. “Mali, I’m honestly not jealous! I like Y/N as just a friend, seriously!”

“Can I get the story first?” Mali said simply, gaining a nod from Calum as he begins to explain. He starts from the beginning of when you exploded until today. Ashton spit a bit of information during Calum’s story telling. Granted, it irritated him quite a bit, but Ashton had a very high respect and somewhat responsibility to make sure your part of the story was existent. 

“And now we’re here with you at a bar,” Calum says slowly. His brown orbs study the glass-contained beer between his hands. The thumb strokes it up and down, having him feel the coolness of the drink take its affect on the cup. “Without Y/N…”

“Does that make you sad?” Mali asks. Calum held the cup tighter, his grip seemingly strong enough to break the cup. The emotions he didn’t think he had were finally coming into play as they were pleading for release. 

“It makes me depressed,” Calum says distantly at his drink. “I haven’t seen that gorgeous face of hers for what feels like ages. Her voice disappears slowly from my head the longer I don’t speak to her and it’s killing me. I miss her laughter and how she’d snort when a joke was incredibly hilarious to her. Those beaming eyes when she watched me perform because she was so fucking proud of me… fuck, it’s her fault I feel this way!” 

“Calum…” Mali hummed a bit. 

“What?” Calum growled back at her. 

“You’re in love with her,” Mali said with a small, cheeky smile. Calum widened her eyes at her, with his plump lips parting slightly. 

Calum really was in love with you. During this month, he hadn’t realize how broken he was without you. Those smiles that print your face always lit up his days. Calum was really bothered to see you absent at your usual seat when he performs. It was this immense longing for you that was now destroying him. He loved you, he really fucking loved you. 

“Fuck,” Calum mutters as he asks the bartender for 10 shots. 

“Calum, what the hell?” Mali asks in shock. “Are you going to drink that all on your own?”

“I can’t love her, Mali!” Calum turns to his sister with a strained voice. His eyes had sorrow and broken present. It made his sister look at him worriedly. He begins shaking his head as the rounds of shot glasses were put in front of him. “We’ll both get hurt and I just cannot deal with that possibility.” Mali opens her mouth to say another word but Calum had already downed 3 shots. That was Ashton’s queue to text you.

With an address and a couple of pleads later, you found yourself in front of a brightly lit bar at quite a late time. It took you a while, but you managed to make yourself look presentable before going to the bar. With one gulp, you slowly enter the bar and look around to find the boys. Immediately, you met eyes with Ashton. 

“I didn’t think you’d come!” Ashton exclaims happily. You enter one of his large bear hugs before he leads you to the bar. You greet Luke and Michael, asking Michael to get you a drink. You then find Mali, making you smile at how lovely she was. 

“Mali!” You cheered, having her turn her head and go to you in happiness. She gives you a nice hug, one that was long due. Detaching, you sit next to her at the bar. 

“Y/N, I am so glad to see you!” Mali muses. “I thought I wasn’t gonna see you again until the next visit to Australia.”

“I didn’t think so either,” you admitted with a low chuckle. “Things have been rather… cold lately.”

“In the hottest place ever?” Mali said, causing the both of you to laugh. “But seriously, I heard what happened and it’s unfortunate to see my little brother so scared of falling in love.” 

“I’m over it,” you lie, getting your drink as you sipped on it sadly. “Which reminds me; where is Calum?”

“He’s got some whore grinding against him,” Mali said in a bored tone as she rolls her eyes. “He’s drunk out his ass and has been honest with everybody he’s met here. You’ll find him at the dance floor.” You practically gulped down your drink as she spoke.

“Thanks, Mali,” you say before leaving the bar to search for that idiot. Although the cramped space with sweaty bodies was an obstacle, you managed to find Calum dancing. He was grinding into a whores ass, like Mali said. An overwhelming wave of jealousy struck you as you went to him. Grabbing his shoulder, you turn him around and have him face you. His eyes immediately go wide with his face flushing red. 

“Y-Y/N?” Calum stuttered in shock. The girl he danced with scoffed at you before leaving to find another drunk soul. “Holy fuck, is that really you?”

“Yes, Calum, it’s me,” you say in an audible whisper. You were shocked to see Calum after a month of just avoid him and ignoring him. His voice began to melt your heart once more. It was so husky and low but lively and real. His face was priceless, but still showed the perfect crinkles by his eyes and the plumpness of his lips. 

“Oh fuck, Y/N, you look so beautiful…” Calum said in facination as he gently placed his hand on your cheek. “I’ve wanted to look at that face so long because I began to freak out.”

“Why?” You pondered aloud. 

“Your face began to fade off and blur in my mind,” Calum says sadly. “And the thought of losing your image forever terrified me. But here you are– gorgeous and here. You’re here. Your voice, your face, your everything is here. Oh god, even your scent is becoming addicting.”

“Calum, you’re really drunk,” you say with a giggle. Calum remains serious, his dark brown eyes focused on yours. 

“I’m drunk, but everything I’ve said is true,” Calum says simply as the party people danced around you. “But coming here made me realize that I should’ve never hurt you the way I did out of my damn fear. Fuck, Y/N, especially lying to you like that, too…”

“Lying? About what?” You asked Calum. 

“About loving you as just a best friend,” Calum says. “I fucking love you, Y/N! I want so badly to kiss you and call you mine and ensure that nobody else hurts you.” Everything went silent and still. You were feeling your body get washed over with love and hope and relief and happiness. To think that Calum would actually admit that he loved you seemed like the impossible. Although it lacked the spark due to his drunk state, it was the truth. He was being honest. You allow yourself to snap into reality and take Calum’s hands. Feeling a chaotic amount of emotion dance around your mind, you take a deep breath and squeeze his hands. 

“Let’s get you back to the hotel,” you tell him. You took Calum home as he slurred all these compliments and his self-hatred. But, finally after all his babbling, he passed out on his bed. 

The next morning, Calum woke up with a big headache. He rubbed his head, weaving his fingers through his black air as he felt the sunlight hit him. He sat up, some of the blanket falling off his body as he did so. Removing the blanket, he squinted down to see himself still fully clothed in last nights outfit. What the fuck happened last night? Calum thought to himself. But, he decided to shake off the question to rise up and get medicine from the bathroom. Trotting slowly from his room, he walks to find you cooking a pancake in the kitchen. 

“Morning sleepyhead,” you mutter with a small smile as you toss the pancake up in the air and flipped it over on the pan. Calum studied your being, noticing you were in his baggy basketball shirts and Maine shirt that you adored so much. To see you in his clothes made him smile, even when he knew you still weren’t his. 

“D’you know what happened last night?” Calum groaned as you cooked. You flinched a bit, contemplating on what to say. You couldn’t possibly tell him that he was drunk out his ass and admitted his love to you before letting you take him home. He’d deny it. 

“You were very drunk so I took you back to your suite,” you say simply as you flipped the pancake once more. Calum walked over to you in the kitchen. As he passed by you to get a cup from the cabinet, he took in your scent. He slightly froze, recognizing the scent as though he smelled in recently. He looked over at your face, causing you to look up at him and give him a gentle smile. Calum noticed that you still had some makeup on… from last night. 

“Oh fuck, Y/N, I just can’t anymore,” Calum mumbled. Before you could question his sudden change in attitude, he grabbed your shoulders and pulled you forward. You immediately found your lips on Calum’s, feeling a gentle and quick kiss from those lips before he pulls off a moment later. Both of your hands reached up to feel your lips, some saliva being left from his quick lip attack. 

“I love you, Y/N, I actually do,” Calum tells you, looking into your eyes with a serious tone. “But I’m still so scared to hurt you and get hurt myself. And I know you must fucking despise me right now but just know that I actually do love you and it’s just hard to–”

Before he expected it, you gave him a quick kiss on his lips. You quickly went back to the pan and began to toss the pancake again. With your face completely red, you smile down at the pancake as Calum smiles down at you. He goes behind you and gives you a hug, his strong arms wrapped lazily around your neck as he leaned his head on yours. 

“I love you, too,” you whispered as you tended the pancakes. You give Calum a soft little kiss on one of his hands as you cooked. “It’s okay that you’re afraid. We’ll take it slow and try to make you less scared. How does that sound?”

“Perfect,” Calum says softly as he stayed there, keeping you in his loving embrace. 

yikes sorry for not writing! ive been so tired and lazy, it’s almost unbelievable. sorry, readers, but i made this nice and long for you guys so pls dont hurt me <3 

lmfao my inbox is loaded with requests so it takes a bit to get through. but i got this! promise, lil peaches

Daddy Louis

Things #6

1. I keep sneezing and my nose has that tingly feeling. You know the one.

2. I’m trying harder to connect to friends. Reaching out first, instigating hangouts, outwardly showing love and affection to those I adore.

3. I’m getting really good at washing dishes by hand. Almost to the point where it’s become therapeutic. I think it’s because it’s been a small pattern I can cling to during the brief upheaval of the past few weeks.

4. There’s a nervous lil pit of energy stirring in my lower belly due to my upcoming internship. I’m excited to be able to put my energy toward a physical goal again, I’m realizing more and more that I was never meant to be stagnant.

5. I’ve been cooking a lot recently. A brief list: buffalo cauliflower, wood grilled salmon, spaghetti with spaghetti squash noodles, chicken ravioli, pesto potatoes, and homemade chicken noodle soup. It’s been fun to step back into the culinary arena recently. It’s reminding me why cooking helped me during my depression. Actually witnessing the health you’re giving yourself and realizing that the purchase, prep, and consumption of food is an act of self love… It’s irresistible.

6. I downloaded the game Hill Climb Racer to my phone and it is seriously killing my productivity. But also… I just unlocked the hippie van and the roller coaster track, so maybe productivity can wait a bit.

TØP Weekly Update #38: Rain on Your Parade (5/21/17)

Bit of a mini update this week, as we really only have the show at Hangout Fest to report on. Still, that single show gave us more than enough material for an update, so let’s do it. (I’m definitely not saying that it will be short to excuse the fact that I went to a festival yesterday, am physically/mentally exhausted, and have other work I need to be doing, no sir…)

This Week’s TØPics:

  • Hangout Fest: Victories and Defeats
  • Billboard Music Awards
  • UPCOMING: Sasquatch Festival

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anonymous asked:

I sent this before and I don't see it on your blog so I don't know if tumble ate it or you already did it but can you to a Dallas headcanon of him dating a soc. Please and thank you 💜

-Tries not to draw attention to it
-Prefers not to go to the socs hangouts, but loves showing his boyfriend off at the greaser hangouts
-They both agree not to give each other too many material gifts
-Bailing Dally out of jail, lmaoo

Seventeen Scenario: Confession Circle (OT13)

A/N: For the anon who wanted jealous Seventeen! Not gonna lie, anon….I have no idea if you meant you wanted a single pairing to be jealous or if you wanted all thirteen to be jealous of each other hahaha but here it is! Thank you for requesting, I hope you like it! It’s kind of cheesy though….

- Admin Mochi ✨

Originally posted by wonnhao

In school, stress and competition are inevitable. At least that’s how it was at the private institution thirteen best friends attended. Their academic peers were all like that: fighting to get to the top even if they were all just teenagers still. They’d stab their own friend in the back if it meant being number one.

Usually, these thirteen boys were very good at avoiding the drama. The closest thing they’ve had to an argument was when Seungkwan ate Jihoon’s quesadilla but even that didn’t last for fifteen minutes. But lately, the tension in school was starting to leak into their inner circle and the result wasn’t pretty.

Jeonghan glared at Seungcheol as the elder lifted weights in their hangout room. What a show-off, he’s been lifting those for the past hour, Jeonghan thought bitterly to himself. The long-haired teen looked at his own lanky arms then scoffed in his head. Whatever.

Across the room, Jihoon was staring at Joshua play the guitar, feeling resentful. Everyone was always complimenting Joshua on the guitar but what about Jihoon? He was just as good as Joshua. This semester, Joshua had gone into the music production class. If Joshua learned how to produce, what would Jihoon be? And what if Joshua was better at it? He certainly had a ear for good American music.

No. That wouldn’t do. When Joshua asked if Jihoon wanted to do a collab, Jihoon had curtly replied, “Sorry, I’m busy.” But even Joshua felt the anger and only shrugged.

Sitting at the desk were Vernon and Wonwoo, surrounded by paper. Both of them were writing rap lyrics for their music period. What most people didn’t know was that even if Vernon’s lyrics were iconic, Wonwoo’s were more poetic. Usually, people liked the iconic factor, the thing that can make a crowd go “OOOOH!” from the cleverness of the phrase. But that must’ve not been what the teacher thought because Wonwoo had gotten an A for his lyrics while Vernon got a C.

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